


The (Mis)Adventures of Goat

by Hamliet



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Past Abuse, Recovery, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:05:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 112,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamliet/pseuds/Hamliet
Summary: The members of Goat are still trying to figure out both what peace means, how human beings and ghouls can coexist, and where a certain rotten fruit has slunk away to, when life decides to surprise them. Touken, Akiramon, Ayahina, Mutsurie, Tsukikana, Nishikimi, Uihai, Seidou/Kurona, Nakimiza, and Arieto. (Maybe) slightly crack.





	1. Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and thank you for reading! This fic, unlike my other ongoing Tokyo Ghoul fic, is not really plot-centric, though there is (a small, admittedly thinly developed) one. It's mostly focused on my favourite TG ships and my favourite feels: angst and fluff. It's also based on a series of headcanons about how each couple would handle an unplanned pregnancy, which were sent to me by my sister, mercyandmagic. (Obviously, this was written before the Touken pregnancy reveal in the manga.)
> 
> Ships to be explored are Touken, Ayahina, Akiramon, Mutsurie, Tsukikana, Nishikimi, Uihai, Seidou/Kurona, Naki/Miza, and Arieto. Background ships include Saiko/Hsiao, Yoriko/Takeomi, and Yomo/Uta. Also of note: dead characters are (for the most part) alive... but as for how, alas, I've no idea. You can assume most things that happened in canon actually happened (besides the pregnancy), except maybe the characters were just mostly dead and were revived by Miracle Max (or, you know, Kanou), or they were just injured and survived, or you can create your own headcanon about how they're alive.

_How can someone just disappear?_

"Sorry," says Takeomi with a grimace and a shrug. "We still can't find anything on Furuta." The scrapes of silverware against porcelain plates echo through the bakery.

Hinami nods. "Thank you anyways." She slips her phone into her pocket and pulls her bag across her chest, tightening her grip on the straps. Her heart plummets.

It's been two months since the CCG fell apart and Goat came out into the open. The people of Tokyo are still trying to get used to the idea of living among ghouls—and, of course, there are some ghouls who refuse to stop preying on humans and eat the dead, and those ghouls are complicating everything. And there's the matter of Furuta escaping and somehow _still_ managing to evade capture.

"Hinami!" calls Yoriko, flitting out from behind the counter. Her smile relaxes some of the tension in Hinami's shoulders. "Tell Touka she better come by soon! I can make coffee—well, I'm sure hers is better." Yoriko presses her lips together, shaking her head. "I still can't believe she used to eat my food when she couldn't digest it. Did she make you eat it, too?"

Hinami shakes her head. Two older women enter the bakery. Their gazes land on Hinami. Takeomi stiffens.

 _They recognize me, don't they?_ She knows she's been in some shots on the news.

 _Maybe they lost people to ghouls._ Hinami swallows. Their eyes bore into Hinami's shoulders like laser beams, and she suddenly feels slick with sweat. If they call her a ghoul—there was a lynching the other day, and the ghoul snapped and attacked the humans who did it.

One of the women hobbles towards her.

"I'll take that one!" Hinami points to a croissant, smile bright and so, so fake. Anything to lessen suspicion. Takeomi nods as if impressed. Yoriko wraps it up for her, and Hinami pays and ducks past the two women. She stuffs the croissant in her mouth, swallowing a bite without tasting it. _See, I can eat—I'm human—I'm still ashamed of being a ghoul_. Or maybe it's just practical.

 _What would it taste like to you humans?_ she wonders. To Hinami it tastes like she imagines rat droppings would taste.

 _I'm out_ , she texts Ayato.

 _Thank God_. He slips beside her a few blocks past the bakery. "I was getting worried," he teases, even though he knows she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself ,and Takeomi and Yoriko are hardly threatening. Then again, trusting humans is hard.

Hinami grabs his hand and yanks him into an alleyway. She doubles over, vomit surging up her throat before she even shoves her fingers down her throat. She tosses the croissant onto the ground. It lands with a splat on the mess.

Ayato's hands grip her shoulder, pulling her back up. "Better?"

"I don't get how they can eat that," Hinami mumbles. She almost wishes she could though—she saw two huge-eyed children with their grubby fingers pressed against the glass case, grinning and oohing as they pointed out the pastries that called to them. "Nothing. Takeomi hasn't found a thing."

Ayato sighs. "Maybe Furuta offed himself. No one would mourn."

"Ayato!"

"What?"

She shakes her head and takes his hand. "Let's go tell Kaneki."

When they return to the new :re, Kaneki springs to his feet.

"Nothing," Ayato reports for her.

Hinami's chest feels tight. _Are you disappointed in me?_

Kaneki clutches her shoulder. "You did well, Hinami."

"Yoriko wants to stop by later this week," Hinami says to Touka as the older girl hands Hinami a cup of coffee.

"I'll text her." But Hinami knows Touka worries about endangering Yoriko, and her business. Half of Tokyo is enamored with Goat; the rest hates them.

Hinami lifts the cup to her lips. The steam slaps at her face and sets her stomach churning. _Did I not get all of that croissant up_?

"You should," Kaneki encourages.

Ayato nods from behind her. Hinami gulps the coffee. It stings in her stomach. She crosses her arms. A shudder running through her.

"Are you okay?" Kaneki questions.

"Tired," Hinami manages, shoving her empty cup away from her. She rushes away, to the apartment she and Touka share above the shop, barely making it before she leans over the toilet and heaves.

Footsteps crunch behind her. "Guess I didn't get it all up," Hinami manages.

Ayato crouches down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his chin into her shoulder. "Maybe someday Kimi will figure out how to get us to taste pastries without losing our lunch too."

Hinami laughs, struggling to her feet. Ayato holds his hands up, a mischievous smile on his face as if he's asking for her to pull him up. Hinami obliges. "I don't think you want to—" she starts, but his lips close over hers anyways.

"You still taste good," he murmurs into her ear.

Touka will probably give her time to rest. Exhaustion pulls at Hinami's eyelids, at her limbs, but she pushes Ayato back towards the bed. He falls back, hair splaying in long indigo strands across a yellow quilt. Hinami's mouth breaks into his. His hands rove under her skirt. Hinami's pulse speeds up, and she falls, carried away past the stress and constant fear of the world they live in.

He cradles her head against his chest, both of them slick with sweat, and she can hear his heartbeats. Hinami watches through the window as a few brown, long dead leaves finally break from a tree drift to the ground.

 _You came for me._ In Cochlea. When she worried about Akira, he stood nearby, not advising her, not condemning her, but letting her cry. Hinami squeezes her eyes shut, remembering the contrast with the first time she met him. "Your sister might come back soon."

Ayato groans. "Dammit." He shifts away from her and she's suddenly cold. Hinami pulls herself up, grabbing her bra and dress, shimming into her underwear. She pauses, studying the curves of his shoulder blades and the way his earring bangs against his neck as he yanks on his jeans. _We were both so lost then_. _And even if all else fails… you'll be with me._

"What?" Ayato asks, noticing her stare.

 _I love you,_ Hinami thinks. She smiles.

"Love you too," mumbles Ayato, hobbling into his shoes.

* * *

Hinami wakes to the scent of coffee jabbing itself up her nostrils. She grimaces and rubs her eyes. Touka's already up for the day and nods at Hinami as she runs a brush through her hair.

Hinami swallows. She heads for the bathroom, slipping into her clothes and heading down the stairs. Tsukiyama asked her to visit.

Touka shoves a cup of coffee at her. Hinami accepts it. Akira and Amon sit at the counter in :re, Amon's arm around her waist and the door still with its "closed" sign.

"Good morning," Hinami says to them.

Akira blinks and nods at her. "Morning." Amon gives her a soft smile.

 _He helped kill my parents_. Hinami doesn't hate him—they've talked; they've put it behind them. Her eyes sting. The coffee sits black and violently hot in her cup. _What's wrong with me?_

_I miss them._

_I'm so sad today. And yesterday._

She reminds herself Akira lost her father too and looks over at the woman. Long blond hair falls over Akira's shoulder as she tears at a donut. Amon watches enviously—it's still just a dream for him as well as Hinami.

The sound of the soft pastry tearing catches Hinami's ears. The sweet smell poisons the coffee on her tongue. She pushes her chair back. "Excuse me."

"Hinami?" asks Touka, but she's barreling up the stairs and— _oh, shit,_ now Akira will probably blame herself. _It has nothing to do with you; only the pastry you're eating!_

Hinami throws herself in front of the toilet, hugging the bowl as she gags. It's mostly bile at this point. Tears stream from her eyes _. How can I still have any of that croissant left in me?_

Her eyes focus on a purple plastic wrapper in the trashcan. Touka's.

_Oh._

Fear shoots through Hinami. She hooks her hand around the counter, dragging herself to her feet. Her throat closes as she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to wrack her memory.

_You're overreacting—it's been stressful—it's not possible—it's definitely not happening._

October—no, September. She remembers Karren making a dumb joke about periods when she visited her and Tsukiyama, and Hinami turned scarlet.

 _September_.

Hinami claps her hands to her face, shoulders shaking. _What have I done?_ It's not—they've used birth control.

 _Maybe I'm just sick because of the croissant_. Hinami googles on her phone.

_It has to be the croissant._

_It has to be._

She presses her chest to see if there's any pain. There is, but maybe she's just pressing too hard. She's tired, but she's also been through a lot the past few months, so it doesn't have to mean anything— _it's all going to be fine_ —

Hinami pulls up her texts and tells Shuu she's tired and will have to skip today. And she texts Ayato. _I need to talk to you._

He appears within a half hour, hair still mussed from sleep. "Does this have to do with you running out on Amon and Akira this morning? Touka told me—you shouldn't feel—"

"No," Hinami blurts out, suddenly cold. She shudders and drops onto the floor. "I mean, I suppose. I ran out because I—was sick again."

Ayato swears, dropping down next to her. He puts his hand on her shoulder. "Do you want to see if Banjou—"

"I don't think he'll be able to help."

"Why not?"

"Ayato…" Hinami plucks at the threads in her skirt. She sucks in her belly and wonders.

"Yeah?" He holds her. He strokes her hair.

 _If I say it, it will feel real_. Or maybe he'll laugh and convince her this is an overactive imagination, or maybe—he won't be angry, will he?"

"Hinami?" he questions.

She spins her head around to face him, the floor chilled under her. Outside, more snow falls. "I think I might be pregnant."

* * *

Ayato can feel the warmth and color draining from his face. Hinami's eyes, bulging, shine with tears. She wipes them away. "Are—are you joking?"

She shakes her head, yanking at the hem of her skirt. Her breaths come short and quick.

Ayato feels like he's drowning, like air suddenly doesn't work for his lungs, for his brain. He grips her shoulders. "Why—is it just because you've been sick?"

She can't look at him. "My last period was in September."

_September?_

_Dammit!_

A sob breaks from Hinami's lips. Ayato shakes his head, sliding his arms completely around her. "Have you—taken a test?"

"No."

"I'll get—one." _Which ones are the best ones?_ he wonders. _Are there some that are better than others?_

"What if I am?" she asks, her hair soft against his cheek, his nose. "What do I do?"

"We'll figure it out," he answers. _It wouldn't be on you alone_. His voice scratches his throat. "You'll be—we'll—work it out."

_This could actually be happening._

Hinami slumps in relief. _Did you really think I wouldn't take care of you?_ Ayato thinks, indignant. Well, he will. "No matter what you want to do—if it's positive, negative—we'll figure it out, okay?" _I love you._

_I just have no idea what I'm going to do._

She nods.

 _Focus on buying the tests,_ Ayato tells himself. Hinami crawls back into bed and he heads outside, the icy morning air chafing at his face. He ducks his head. With his heartbeat echoing in his ears, it hits him. _Hanami might be pregnant. Might be. Preg-nant._

Ayato cringes as he heads into the pharmacy. _No one look at me, you losers._ He crouches down in the family planning aisle, eyes scanning the boxes. _Why are there so many brands? Which is the best?_ Google's even failing him here.

"Can I help you?" chirps an older employee with a rather disgusting scent. Even so, Ayato has half a mind to go full ghoul on her for interrupting and terrifying him.

"No," he says quickly, grabbing a box. _And this one_. He spots a third and grabs that too.

"Ah." The woman nods, rolling her lips in as she takes in Ayato. _What are you staring at, you old hag?_ "For your girlfriend?"

 _She knows I'm too young to have a wife_. Although in theory if Yoriko is married, he's not _that_ young. Ayato's face burns scarlet. He turns and stalks off towards the registrar.

The woman ringing him up raises her eyebrows but says nothing, so Ayato wishes her a pleasant day before he stalks back outside, concealing the bag next to him. The straps dig into his fingers.

It'll be okay. Even if she is pregnant. They have each other, and Hinami—he loves her because she reminds him of what he loses sight of, because she shines like a north star and roots him. She reminds him of possibilities, of smiles and tears and laughter, things besides blood and blows.

Ayato pushes open the door to :re.

"Oh good, you're back," Yomo remarks. Those three bodyguards of Kaneki's, the kids, glug coffee. Shio grins at Ayato.

"If you have something for me to do, please tell His Majesty that I am busy," Ayato retorts.

Yomo groans as he stalks for the stairs. But this can't wait. His sanity can't take it.

Hinami rolls her eyes when he announces that he had to battle Yomo to get back upstairs. "Did you get it?"

He dumps the bag on the bed. "Three different ones."

Hinami's eyes bug out. "Which one should I try?"

"All of them? Like what if one gives a false positive, or a false negative—we want to be sure, don't we?"

Hinami giggles. She tosses him one of the packages. "Read the instructions. This one says two stripes means pregnant." She grabs another box.

"This one's digital and fancy," Ayato reports. "It will pop up and tell you "pregnant" or not." He scans the rest of the instructions. They seem like they're geared towards women who want to be pregnant. _Do we want to be?_ His hands shake.

"This one's just another two stripes," Hinami reports. She gathers the boxes in her arms and vanishes into the bathroom.

 _Oh, hell._ Ayato interlocks his fingers behind his head, pacing back and forth.

"Ayato?" Hinami calls.

He jumps. It's only been about—well, less than a minute. Most ask for a two minute wait.

"You can come in," Hinami says. "I'm—I don't want to wait alone."

 _You're scared_. Ayato rushes into the tiny bathroom. Hinami sits on the edge of the bathtub, the sticks all resting next to her. Her head hangs low, chin scraping her chest. He drops down onto the bathmat and takes her hands.

She shudders and clings to him, nails digging into his skin. He closes his eyes.

Hinami's phone beeps. She mutters a curse and picks up the first stick. She sucks in her breath.

 _Oh God_.

She spins it around. "Is that a second stripe?"

Ayato squints. "I—I don't know?" It's _there_ , for sure, but it's faint. He peers over.

The stripes are bright pink and parallel on the second test. _Pregnant_ , reads the digital one. Hinami's hands cover her mouth. Ayato's stomach churns.

Hinami sniffles, wiping at her cheeks. Ayato pushes himself up, throws his arms around her, holds her. _We'll be okay_. "It's okay," he chokes out. "It'll all be okay."

"I don't—know what I feel," Hinami manages, tears wet and sticky against his neck. She tightens her fists around his sweatshirt.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm—I—we're so young and—I don't know how I'll—but I'm—also—kind of _happy_."

 _Happy?_ Ayato's breath catches. _You want this baby._

 _You want my baby._ Our _baby._

 _I do, too_. "Okay."

* * *

She has no idea how to tell Touka. Or Kaneki. Or anyone. Ayato said he would help her, but they need a few days. She switches off her phone, where she's been googling about how large her baby is. Although she doesn't even know how far along she is. It's fun to imagine though. Hinami wraps her arms around her midsection.

 _Would you be happy for me, Mom, Dad? Or would you be disappointed_?

Knowing her mother, she'd insist on taking Hinami to a doctor, and then out shopping for maternity clothes and cute onesies. A smile spreads over her lips.

Her phone lights up with a message from Ayato. _I'm just worried that everyone will get all upset. It's not exactly an ideal time to have a child._

_With Furuta still on the loose._

Hinami's throat pinches. She grits her teeth.

_I don't want to have a child who will just grow up to be an orphan._

That hits Hinami like a blow to her stomach.

 _Can we meet downstairs?_ he asks.

In all honesty, Hinami just wants to curl up under her blankets and sleep and pretend he didn't text this to her. But she agrees.

In the deserted café, she finds Ayato pacing back and forth, shoes scuffing on the floor. "Ayato?"

He turns to her, seizing her in a hug as if she's his salvation.

Hinami stiffens.

"What are we doing, Hinami?" he croaks out.

"Huh?" She pulls back, peering up at his face.

Ayato's jaw works. "I mean—we're so young—we're _too_ young—when I bought the test, they looked at me like—and I've lectured Kaneki about responsibility and now they'll all think I've—been a hypocrite—how are we going to do this?"

Hinami's throat tightens. "But—you said—"

"It's fine," Ayato insists. "I just—I don't know—I'm—we're too young—your parents are dead, mine are—dead and my father was an idiot and got himself killed—how are we going to have a kid? How can we be parents? We're going to be terrible! I'll be the worst father in the world!" He clutches his face.

Hinami's chest burns. The dim lights seem even blacker to her. "And I'll be the worst mother?"

Ayato freezes. "No—you'll be—that's not what I meant—"

"Then what did you mean?" Hinami fires back. Her arms shake. Tears fill her eyes, stinging and choking her. "I thought you—I thought you said we—" _I want this baby, I'm scared, but I still want it, but if you don't—_

"Oh, shit," Ayato says, as if he's realized too late just how much his words hurt her.

Hinami doubles over, crying.

His hands hover over her. "I didn't mean—you'll be a great mother, I'm just—I'm not a good—"

"But you'd _try_ , wouldn't you?" Hinami shoots back. "Or would you—run away—"

"No!" Ayato grabs her. "I'm—I'm sorry—Hinami—" His voice breaks.

_Are you crying now, too?_

"We can try," Hinami chokes out. "We can—do this—" _But not alone._

Ayato's fingers run through her hair. His chest shudders. "We can," he ekes out.

"Wow," comes a voice from behind them. "Already making more ghouls, huh?"

She whirls around, Ayato leaping in front of her.

Suzuya Juuzou grins at them.


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Say a word and I will kill you," Ayato threatens. He has no qualms about bursting out with his kagune and running this pipsqueak through.

"That would create problems for Goat," drawls Juuzou. He wiggles his eyebrows. "Unplanned, huh? You two are pretty young."

"You are not helping," Hinami informs him.

"Relax, Fueguchi, I don't really care." Juuzou shrug, the shadows from the night covering his face. "It might actually be good. It might help some of the ex-CCG agents we're working with see you as human."

"We're not human," Ayato points out.

"We basically are, except we rely on different nutrition," Hinami counters. "That's the only difference."

Juuzou frowns, studying her. "How far along are you?"

Hinami raises her shoulders in a shrug. "I don't—know." She glances at Ayato as if he might be able to help, but he shakes his head. "Probably about nine or ten weeks?"

Ayato narrows his eyes. "You're not going to say anything, are you, Suzuya?"

"Why is it a secret?"

"Because—it is," says Ayato. "For now. We'll—tell when we're ready."

"Are you gonna see a doctor?" Juuzou asks.

"Are you stupid?" snaps Ayato.

" _Ayato!"_ Hinami chides him.

"Banjou doesn't count, does he?"

"No."

Hinami bites her lip. "I've never been to see a doctor in my life."

 _It's not like we need to,_ Ayato tells himself. The look on Hinami's face suggests otherwise. "Most doctors don't treat ghouls, and—"

"Can't you ask Nishino Kimi?" Juuzou points out. "When she and Nishio Nishiki get back to Tokyo next week. For an ultrasound. I'm sure she can get you in to a hospital. Or even give you one herself. And she'd probably keep it a secret for you."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in. "Are you actually trying to help us?"

Juuzou shrugs. "We _are_ supposed to be working together from now on."

"She gets back Christmas Eve, right?" asks Ayato. Kaneki wants them all to celebrate Christmas together and Ayato does not trust Tsukiyama and Karren not to deliberately freak the humans out at their place.

"Perfect timing," Juuzou says. "Goat'll be busy, the hospital will be calm, and Kimi can definitely give you an ultrasound if you text her."

"I can't text her this!" Hinami protests, scandalized.

"Fine," Juuzou says, rolling his eyes. " _I_ can text her and tell her it's top secret and I need her help for an unidentified pregnant friend."

* * *

Juuzou's weird, but Hinami rather likes him. She wants to tell Kimi in person—eventually. The idea of telling everyone else terrifies her.

Hinami hauls herself up from the bathroom floor. _This morning sickness can't last much longer, can it?_ She's surprised Touka isn't suspicious, although Hinami's gotten better at hiding it. It's surprising how well you can make yourself function with nausea.

 _Do you think Tsukiyama will want to teach our kid how to play the piano?_ Ayato asks.

Hinami snorts as she studies her phone. Touka glances over and Hinami ignores her. _Maybe_.

 _We should get our own place_ , Ayato texts. _Even if it's small and nearby._

 _Probably,_ Hinami agrees.

 _What colors can we paint the room?_ Ayato wonders. _Also it just occurred to me that we'll be raising our baby in a completely different world. It'll be fun. Maybe he or she could go to school—Aunt Touka would like that._

Hinami starts to grin. Butterflies flutter in her stomach, and she wonders if the baby can feel how happy she is right now— _and it's because of you,_ she thinks. _Are you excited?_

He texts her a smiling emoji.

Every morning, Hinami wakes up to about a half dozen ideas texted from Ayato. It's sweet.

"We're going out," Juuzou proclaims on Christmas Eve, pushing open :re's doors with Ayato and Hinami following.

"Are you sure that's safe?" asks the ex-investigator named Hanbee. Mutsuki Tooru's head lolls on Urie Kuki's shoulder. Saiko chows down a croissant. Hinami cringes at the sight of it. Kaneki and Amon finally bought office space, and Goat will be moving in after the New Year.

"We're fine," Juuzou assures Hanbee, cocking his head at Ayato. "Tell everyone we'll meet them at Tsukiyama's. And no, Nakarai, they won't try to make us into Christmas dinner, so calm down."

They hustle down the street, a cold wind blowing. _What do we talk about? What do we say?_

"Still nothing on Furuta," Juuzou complains.

"It's not just our lives," Ayato says slowly. "It's my kid's life now, too." Something flickers in his eyes, almost like a memory— _of your father?_ Hinami wonders. They weave their way through a crowd of people, the sky gray and bloated above.

She presses her hand over her stomach. _My baby's not a monster._

 _Ayato, me, Suzuya—we've all done monstrous things_. Even if she hasn't personally killed anyone, she's watched them die and turned away. She remembers Saeki and how she heard that Mutsuki was abducted by him. _That's on me._

 _But our world…_ She remembers how her parents raised her, but they still died. _Everything is cruel._

But they created a little pocket of love for her, and it still lingers even though they're gone. Sometimes, anyways. Other times, she can't feel it.

 _We'll do our best,_ she promises her child.

"Around back," Juuzou says, pulling out his phone and texting. Hinami's teeth chatter as they follow him around the hospital. _You better not be—_

A familiar face beams. A hand waves.

" _Kimi!"_ Hinami springs at her.

She gapes at Hinami, her eyes wide—but still with the same sweet face and the small smile she used to wear when she visited Anteiku and talked to Nishiki when he worked. " _You're_ —the pregnant friend?"

Hinami swallows. "Well—"

"O _kay_ ," Kimi says, blowing her breath out. "Okay. Okay." She grasps Hinami's arm and leads her through a door, into the hospital. Ayato and Juuzou's footsteps echo behind them. Doctors and nurses clad in scrubs dart about, and Hinami ducks her head.

"Our trip didn't uncover any leads," Kimi admits as she turns under a gray sign marked EMERGENCY ROOM and heads left. A man with a stethoscope shouts at a nurse, who yells back at him. The smell of cleaning fluid seeps through the air, and someone calls a code on the intercom. "Nishiki was disappointed."

"I'm sorry," Hinami says.

"How far along are you?"

"Since September?"

"So ten or so weeks," muses Kimi. She glances over her shoulder at Ayato, who flushes. Kimi heads towards a wing marked OBSTETRICS/GYNECOLOGY and leads them through a waiting room filled with expectant parents.

 _I'm an expectant parent._ The thought floors Hinami. Kimi ushers them into a small room with an ultrasound machine.

"Do I get to stay or do I have to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of pregnant women and make up a story?" asks Juuzou, blowing out his breath.

Ayato opens his mouth. Hinami cuts him off. "You can stay—it's just my stomach, right?"

Kimi nods. "Nothing too invasive."

Hinami climbs onto the table, the paper covering it crinkling. She lies back. Ayato pulls up a stool.

Kimi fumbles around with the computer screen set up right next to the cot Hinami lies on. She pulls Hinami's shirt up a bit and spreads some jelly on her skin. Hinami sucks in her breath. _It's cold_. "Sorry." Kimi blinks rapidly.

"How's Nishiki?"

"Wonderful." Kimi winks as she presses an instrument against Hinami's skin, sliding it around. She breaks into a smile as she stares at the screen. "Yup, you look like you're ten or so weeks along."

Ayato jumps to his feet as Kimi turns the screen.

 _That's our baby,_ Hinami thinks, watching the black and white image on the screen. Little lines and circles break out from the main body—"Are those legs and arms?"

"Yup," Kimi answers. Ayato's jaw hangs open.

"It looks like a fish," Juuzou comments, leaning forward.

Ayato's lips curl in a sneer as he turns on Juuzou. Hinami snatches his hand. _Don't you dare._ "When do we find out if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Maybe around sixteen weeks if you're lucky," Kimi says, moving the wand around on Hinami's belly. The baby suddenly shifts.

 _It's moving!_ Hinami gulps. "I can't feel anything."

"You probably won't be able to for a few more months," Kimi assures her with a smile. "But I'm not an obstetrician—but I know seeing one would be hard at this point—in another few years, I hope—"

"You're having a girl," Juuzou predicts.

 _I'd like a girl. Or a boy._ It doesn't matter.

Kimi pulls out another tool that she presses into Hinami. A sound echoes. A reassuring sound. Kimi breaks into a grin. "I wasn't sure if it was too early, but—"

"Is that the heartbeat?" Ayato chokes out.

Kimi nods.

_You're alive._

_You're safe, and I'm going to do my best to keep you that way._

* * *

"I get a picture too," Juuzou declares. "Since I helped."

"Sure," Hinami agrees, and Ayato doesn't care enough to protest. He traces the sonogram image Kimi handed over. _We're having a baby_.

 _Holy shit_.

Hinami pulls her sweater down. "Do you get any flack for helping ghouls?"

"Some," Kimi answers. "But I—love Nishiki. No matter what. And I think you are all worth helping. I don't care if I am the only doctor—or doctor in training—who will see ghouls. The people at the hospital are willing to look the other way so long as I don't advertise it."

They exit through the waiting room, decorated with giraffes and filled with women in varying stages of pregnancy, and some anxious dads. Ayato grins at them all. _It must be just as exciting and terrifying for a human as a ghoul._

Juuzou's fingers tracing the giraffe wallpaper as they exit. A doctor casts them a strange look as he passes. The lights shimmer against the white tiled floor.

"Nishiki's kind of annoying," Ayato says, his arm wrapped around Hinami's shoulders. He feels so light, as if gravity barely tethers him. "But you two are good for each other. He said I was lucky to have Hinami. And that I better not fuck it up, so."

"That sounds like him," Kimi says. They pass a janitor mopping a mess on the floor. "I'm glad he has other people now too," Kimi says. "He was so lonely—and we were separated for so long."

"And what about you?" Hinami whispers as Kimi pushes open the door with a click. The cold December air slaps them. Ayato catches Juuzou with his mouth open, as if shocked Hinami actually cares so much.

Kimi sighs. "I was lonely too. It's a hard existence, living when you feel like that."

"We'll get Furuta," Juuzou assures her, striding across the parking lot.

Kimi falls in step behind them. Hinami squeezes Ayato's hand, saying nothing. The picture of their child rests in Ayato's pocket. They board a bus to head to Tsukiyama's. Once they're seated, she leans over, wrapping her arms around herself. The bus lumbers along, Hinami's head lolling on Ayato's shoulder. He presses his hand over her stomach.

_We should tell them soon._

_Maybe around New Year's?_

The idea still makes Ayato want to throw up.

When they arrive at Tsukiyama's, he flings the door open. The sound of Christmas carols rolls out, inviting them in. Tinsel and garlands hang from every possible—

"You!" shrieks Tsukiyama.

"You!" Kimi gapes at him, pretending to faint.

"Welcome, Appetizer," Tsukiyama says, sweeping his arms to welcome them in. Ayato bites back a snort. Juuzou scowls. "Merry Christmas, _Felix Navidid, Joyeaux Noël_ —"

Karren raises her eyebrows from where she chats with Amon and Akira, Chie snapping photos of Ayato, Hinami, Juuzou, and Kimi. The other ex-CCG agents appear from the kitchen, where apparently one of them's been cooking something that smells horrendous. Hinami pales.

Nishiki emerges and rushes over to Kimi, as if he wasn't just away with her for two weeks. He throws his arms around her, presses his lips against hers. Juuzou's eyebrows soar up to his hairline.

Hinami grins. Tsukiyama chuckles, shaking his head.

"If this PDA is allowed," Ayato murmurs in Hinami's ear. "They'll take it well enough, won't they?"

Hinami sighs.

* * *

"I'm proud of you," Kaneki says to Ayato as he drinks some of the blood wine they have. One of the Quinx kids Kaneki keeps worrying about, Aura, cringes when he sees.

Ayato's heart flies to his throat. "For—what?" _Did Hinami tell you?_

"All the work you've been putting in, and all that you did," Kaneki says, a smile on his face as he watches Kimi perch on Nishiki's lap, chatting away with Karren, of all people.

 _Are you still feeling like you failed because Furuta slipped through our hands like a slippery banana?_ "We couldn't have done it without you," Ayato says. Hinami texted him that she was stepping outside for a moment to get some air. Being around the odor of too much human food is not good for her stomach. "Well, we could have. Maybe. Once you got us started, anyways. But we'd rather not have." Still, Ayato knows Touka thinks Kaneki should take a lesser role in righting the world.

"Hey, Kaneki," calls a voice. "King!"

Ayato spies Tsukiyama sliding down onto a couch next to Karren. He waves a black and white photo around.

A photo that looks alarmingly familiar. "Who's pregnant?"

 _Oh, shit._ Ayato's hands got to his pocket. Still there. His eyes find Juuzou, who winces.

 _I'm going to eat you after all_. Except Ayato bets he tastes terrible.

"I found it in the bathroom," Tsukiyama adds. "Is it you, Touka?"

"Hell no!" Touka leaps to her feet.

_Hinami, where are you?_

Juuzou ducks his head. Hide rubs his scalp, confused.

"You didn't tell them?" asks Kimi, glancing in Ayato's direction. "Oh." She covers her mouth. "Wait, no, it's _not_ me!" she adds when Tsukiyama gapes at her. "I just—I—"

 _You can't cover this, can you?_ Everyone is totally capable of doing the math.

His sister turns to him first, her brow crunched and her eyes dark. Kaneki follows suit, turning slowly. Amon's jaw drops.

"Do you have something you want to tell the class, Ayato?" asks Tsukiyama.

Juuzou gulps some of the creamy coffee he's been drinking, turning to that Shinohara he always hangs around. Ayato grits his teeth. "Hinami's pregnant."

"And—you're the father," states Kaneki. Hide throws his head back and laughs.

His face reddens. "Of course."

"Congratulations!" cheers Naki, blood sloshing out of his cup and down onto his white suit. Marude, who's standing nearby, leaps back.

"Excuse me?" demands Touka. "Where is Hinami?"

"She needed some air," Ayato shoots back. "Morning sickness."

"What the hell were you thinking?" Touka erupts. "Ayato—"

"This is a prank, right?" Kaneki asks desperately.

He shakes his head.

"I'm going to—to—eat your kagune!" Touka shrieks.

"I'll break all 206 bones in your body this time," threatens Kaneki, his gaze blazing with fury. He cracks his knuckles. Ayato takes a step back.

"I'll help," Touka vows.

"How could you be so—"

"We did use birth control, but apparently it failed!" Ayato yells back. "Does anyone else want details about our sex life?"

Tsukiyama's hand shoots into the air. Ayato could kick him. Yomo looks as if he wants to vanish. Uta looks amused.

"Hey!" cries out Hinami, bursting in front the back door. She rushes in, grasping Ayato's arm.

"I left the sonogram image out, Fueguchi," Juuzou tells her. "Sorry."

"Wow," says Tsukiyama, rubbing his face. "That's—I mean—you— _mon Dieu_."

Ayato lowers his head.

"Why is everyone angry?" cries Hinami. "I'm— _happy!"_ She stomps her foot. "And we are adults, so—"

"Barely!" Kaneki insists.

Hinami bursts into tears, and Kaneki suddenly looks sick with guilt. Yomo groans. Ayato wraps his arms around her. He glares at them.

"You know," Yomo says slowly. "When Hikari told me she was pregnant with you, Touka, I didn't understand, but I—supported her, because it was what she wanted."

"Congratulations," offers Saiko.

Hinami lifts her head and rushes towards Saiko. Urie tenses as if he's expecting to have to intervene, but Hinami grabs the other girl in a hug.

"Congratulations," Akira echoes, smiling at Ayato.

"Hinami, I'm sorry," whispers Kaneki.

"'S okay, Onii-chan," Hinami says as she breaks away from Saiko. "You don't have to agree—you've made plenty of decisions the rest of us don't agree with—but we still love you, and you still—care." She embraces Kaneki, and then Touka grabs Ayato. "Don't blame Ayato, okay?" he hears her asking Kaneki.

"I can't believe my baby brother is having a kid," Touka mumbles.

"I'm sure Kaneki wouldn't mind after we find Furuta," Ayato hisses in her ear, and when they pull away, she's glowering at him, but her lips tremble like she's trying to hold back a laugh, so he laughs for her.

"What?" asks Kaneki.

"Nothing," Touka says, face red.


	3. Miracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"That shirt looks super cute on you, Hinami!" Kimi claps her hands. Hinami frowns at her image in the mirror, the bulge in her abdomen impossible to hide now that it's February. Touka insisted on taking her shopping for maternity clothes. Although shopping seems to exhaust Touka. She leans back against the wall, a tired smile on her face. But it was Touka who called Kimi up and suggested they take Hinami shopping.

"I like it," Hinami decides.

"Great." Kimi's feet hurt, almost as if her tennis shoes are too tight. She winces, shifting. These shoes are fairly new.

"Has Ayato even cracked open that book Kaneki bought him?" Touka asks as they leave the store, Hinami beaming with several bags in her hands.

"The pregnancy guide book?" Hinami asks with a laugh. "Actually, he has. I'm helping him with it. But you can't tell him I told you that."

"Is it helpful at all?" Touka questions.

"Well, our walking, talking medical guidebook is right here and is a lot clearer," Hinami says, grinning at Kimi.

Kimi's heart lifts. And as soon as the world settles down, Kimi hopes ghouls can be treated by doctors in hospitals as well. For now, the hospital has agreed to let her treat Hinami, but only if she clears her visits in advance.

Except, will the world ever settle unless Furuta's found? Knowing that snake, he probably drowned himself and knew that no one would find his body, but in hopes that everyone would look over their shoulders for the rest of their days. That man has spite running through his veins.

The Oggai survivors are still suffering, and ghouls are welcomed with caution by some, and others still hold rallies to bring back the CCG, use the Oggai, do whatever it takes to get rid of people like Nishiki, the man who gave her a home.

Kimi can't help but feel guilty for Great Wheel's collaboration with Dr. Kanou. She's still in touch with the others, but sporadically. And she did it because she was desperate to cling to any reminders of Nishiki, hoping that even if she couldn't help him through the cruelties of the hand life dealt him, she could help someone like him, and somehow, maybe even if she never saw it, never heard of it, she could touch him again through someone else.

"Kaneki really thinks all the answers can be found in those books," Touka jokes.

"They probably do know more than me," Kimi allows. Her ankles ache. _Why._

"I'm just happy that the morning sickness went away after 14 weeks like you said it would," Hinami proclaims. "I can drink coffee and eat again."

"Do you get cravings?" Kimi questions.

Hinami lowers her eyes. "For—well, yeah. I was starving yesterday."

Kimi nods. "Humans get cravings for the weirdest things. Like ice cubes, and such."

"The book mentioned that," Hinami remarks. "How bizarre."

"We'll do another sonogram this afternoon," Kimi says. "You're far enough along that we can find out if it's a boy or a girl. If your baby's not asleep like last time." A wave of dizziness washes over her. She pauses on the sidewalk.

"She's been kicking," Hinami says. "Or he."

"Kimi?" she hears Touka calling.

 _Breathe_ , she tells herself. Her vision clears. The hair on the back of her neck stands up. She glances across the street.

A flash of someone who looks like Furuta, but with shorter hair and a mustache, appears across the street. Kimi catches Touka following her gaze. Her heart pounds wildly.

But when she looks over again, the man's vanished into the crowd.

* * *

"What happened?" Nishiki yelps, bursting open the door.

"Hello," Kimi greets him with a roll of her eyes. Hinami lies back on the bed, her stomach bare. "I'm going to have to have a word with the desk staff."

"Oops," Nishiki says, face reddening. "I'm—"

"It's fine," Ayato says quickly, holding Hinami's hand. Touka and Kaneki sit on a bench against the wall with Juuzou.

"If it _was_ him, he didn't follow us," Touka reports. "But I honestly wasn't sure."

Kaneki frowns and says something about the potential risk to :re. Kimi's brain feels fuzzy again. _Concentrate_ , she orders herself.

"You should tell Hide," Ayato tells Kaneki. "Wherever he is." Hide left last week on a top-secret Goat-related mission, and he said he could be away for more than six months.

But this time, Kimi hopes Kaneki knows he'll return.

Juuzou snorts as he pulls out a blanket, a spool of thread, and a needle.

"What're you making?" asks Touka.

"A blanket for your baby," Juuzou responds defensively.

"Just asking," Touka says, holding her hands up.

"Seidou saw me last night and started screaming," Juuzou reports. "The blanket was Shinohara's idea."

Kimi snorts, pressing the wand against her abdomen.

"I'm using a pattern with different types of kagunes." He frowns, tapping the needle against his lips. "I wonder what kind of kagune your baby will have. Since you're both ukakus, but Hinami, you're also a rinkaku—what if she's a chimera too?"

Hinami grins. "We'll see."

The baby's image pops up on screen, and Hinami peers at it. Ayato furrows his brow. The baby shifts. _Oh good, you're awake._ Kimi slides the probe around on top of Hinami's stomach. She breaks into a smile.

"What?" asks Ayato. Kaneki and Touka both lean forwards, mesmerized by the flailing child. Nishiki's eyes widen.

"You're having a girl," Kimi tells them.

"Yes!" Juuzou pumps his fists. "I told you so!"

Nishiki shakes his head, and Kimi's breath catches in her throat. She blinks against a sudden sting in her eyes. _Why am I this emotional?_

She suspects she knows why, and she doesn't want to have to think about it.

* * *

After everyone leaves, Kimi tells Nishiki she'll see him in an hour. She heads to the makeshift lab Goat created for her, a small basement room with low ceilings and equipment crammed with used tables and lit by dull, blinking lights. The perfect atmosphere for a ghoul lab, Kimi thinks. She doesn't want to do this in the hospital, where her relationship is an open secret and rumors will abound. Kimi cringes and wraps an elastic band around her arm, drawing her own blood into a tube.

"Kimi?" gasps a voice behind her, the only other person Kimi allows in their makeshift lab.

 _Banjou._ "Hi," she ekes out. _That's enough_. She yanks the elastic off with a snap.

"Testing your own blood counts?" Banjou asks. "Does it really matter?"

 _Not quite what I'm doing_. Kimi grabs a cotton pad and presses it against her elbow, securing it with some tape. She doesn't answer.

"Kimi?"

She carries the tube of her blood away, preparing the test. Her elbow aches.

"You need help?" Banjou watches her with a concerned look on his face. The man's no scientist, but he's eager to help, and sweet. Kimi likes him.

"I'm not measuring my RC levels," Kimi answers. _Although that might actually not be such a bad idea._

"What are you looking for?" Banjou wonders, scratching his head.

"My hCG levels," Kimi answers without facing him.

"What's that?"

"A hormone." Kimi wonders what Hinami's levels are. She should measure them—it would be an interesting comparison, to see if it's similar for a ghoul and a human.

"Okay…" Banjou stands there helplessly, so Kimi orders him to bring her some gloves. He asks no more questions until the final numbers come in. "Two thousand," he reads.

Kimi drops onto her black stool. It rolls out from under her and she splats onto the floor.

"Kimi!"

"I'm fine," she manages, staggering to her feet and rubbing her tailbone. "Perfectly fine. Print those results for me?" She'll want to keep them. And measure them against Hinami's.

And figure out how to tell Nishiki. _Christ, we've been back together for—not even six months yet. Did I forget how to use birth control in the meantime?_ She's laughing.

Banjou holds up the printed sheet. "You gonna tell me what this means?"

"No," Kimi says. "Well, I'm going to tell Nishiki first. And then you, if you can keep a secret."

"Of course I can," Banjou says, almost hurt.

She hesitates, and then gives him a quick hug. "Thank you. And if you want to test the rest of that sample for RC levels, I'd appreciate it." She extracts the paper from his hand and heads out to face Nishiki.

_It's a good thing we love each other._

* * *

Nishiki loves returning home now.

Because Kimi's actually there to welcome him, like she was in all his dreams but no in reality for the past years. He still sometimes fears this isn't real, he's actually lost his mind and is hallucinating her, but then she'll kick him in her sleep and he'll roll over and breathe in her scent and reality seeps into him again: she's with him, she came back, she loves him, and she never wants to betray him.

He slings the door open, carrying a plate of fish and rice for Kimi. The lady in front of him at the store ordered it, so Nishiki's assuming it's not crap. Then again, who knows. It smells like shit.

"Kimi?" he calls, hearing the shower running. _Maybe I should join her_. Nishiki smirks and unbuttons his shirt.

Kimi's purse is slung across the couch, dangling off the edge like it's about to drop onto the floor. Nishiki nudges it back. A piece of paper flutters to the floor and he snatches it, putting it on top of the purse.

_hCG?_

He shrugs out of his jeans, removes his glasses, and heads into the bathroom. "Guess who."

"If you're not who I think you are I'm going to scream," Kimi mumbles, her back to him. Water and shampoo suds cascade down her back.

"Who do you think I am?" he teases, pushing the transparent shower curtain back and slipping in.

Eyes shut to protect against soap, Kimi turns around and finds his lips.

"Rough day shopping and then seeing patients and working in the lab?" Nishiki asks, his lips trailing down her shoulders. He presses his fingers next to her spine, tracing her ribs, massaging the muscles. "Some day off you had."

Kimi laughs. "Keep that up and I'll fall down."

"I'd catch you."

"Here." Kimi grabs his shampoo, shaking some out into her palm. Nishiki lowers his head to let her scrub it in, her thumbs and forefingers pressing, kneading the tension away.

"I got you fish," Nishiki murmurs.

"What do you want as your reward?" she teases, her hands sliding down his neck, his chest, and lower.

"And you'll have to tell me why you're monitoring Hinami's levels. I miss science," Nishiki adds.

Kimi's hands pull away. "You found that?" Her voice rises.

"Huh?" Nishiki's mind churns. _Why are you upset?_

"Well—they're—not—"

The warm water feels too hot all of a sudden—suffocating, really. "They're—they're not Hinami's levels?" He tries to keep his voice calm.

Kimi shakes her head, her hair plastered against her head.

 _Oh my—God!_ "Why didn't you tell me?" Nishiki shrieks.

"Because I just found out, dumbass!" Kimi shoots back, stepping back and almost slipping. Nishiki catches her arm.

 _How am I supposed to respond? How did this happen? We were—mostly careful—but she's a human and I'm a ghoul!_ Nishiki pulls her against his chest, holding her. "Okay. Okay," he murmurs. _This was not part of the plan._

"I asked Banjou to check my RC levels," Kimi mumbles. "I know—Eto exists, and—"

Nishiki shakes his head, his throat closing. "It's not—too likely to work out, Kimi."

"Eto's mother ate flesh, didn't she?" Kimi reaches behind her to turn the shower off. Water rolls down her skin. "I could do that—I don't mind—"

"Do you know what you're saying?"

"You don't kill," Kimi chokes out. "But you eat the dead—people die every day, people will always die—I've never—if I was born a ghoul, I'd have eaten flesh tens of thousands of times over by now. I want to _try_." She blinks, and Nishiki can't tell what are water droplets from the shower from what are her tears. He runs his fingers across her cheekbones, her skin soft and dripping. He traces down to her shoulders, where he runs them along the scar he gave her when she told him to go ahead, that it was okay. "My levels—I've got to be about six weeks along. It's made it this far—that's good, right?"

Nishiki flings his bangs back. "I don't honestly know if it means anything or not."

"But you'll help." Kimi peers up at him. "You're not—mad? I wasn't—we just got back together, and—"

 _Just go back together._ Funny to think about when he's gone to sleep every night since he met her imagining her with him. "You were never out of my heart." He thinks of the bangle, the one he keeps in his drawer.

* * *

"If this is how human food tastes to you, no wonder you vomit," Kimi chokes out after she finishes her plate.

"Your eyes stay the same color," Nishiki remarks as he watches her, his dark and red. "Interesting."

Kimi snorts. They swore Banjou to secrecy. So far, she's still pregnant as far as she can tell. But she won't allow herself an ultrasound until she's at least eleven weeks, and even then they've agreed not to tell anyone until she's at least sixteen. Kimi will just have to start wearing sweatshirts.

 _I want a miracle_ , Kimi thinks as she lies down to sleep. Screw it if she gets kicked out of the hospital. She closes her eyes, anxiety nibbling at the walls of her chest. Her dreams are tormented lately, filled with dreams of a child who wears Nishiki's glasses, has Kimi's face and Nishiki's wild hair, and a car that slams into her just like a car slammed into her parents, her brother.

Kimi looks down and sees herself in the driver's seat, blood, clotted and thick, staining her hands, dripping down her wrists.

" _Kimi!"_

Her eyes fly open. Nishiki's face hovers above her, glasses gone, bangle on his wrist and his hands tight on hers. Her _dry_ wrists. No blood.

"S-sorry," Kimi whispers. "Just a nightmare." Her hands find her belly, poking it. _Please be okay. Please._

Nishiki says nothing, but he presses her face against his chest. She breathes in his scent.

She thinks of her parents, of her brother. "I dreamed about the car accident."

Nishiki sighs.

"Our child was there—she died—it was a girl but she died, and I was the driver—what if I'm consigning her to a life of pain, or keeping her alive only to suffer, or—"

"If she's being born," Nishiki says. "Human who's never met a ghoul, one-eyed ghoul, or full ghoul, the baby's going to suffer. It's part of being alive."

"But we can make her—or him—happy too, right?" Kimi croaks.

Nishiki massages her shoulders. "We will."

 _If it lives_ , Kimi thinks.

_Please, please live._


	4. Donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Akira's nose wrinkles as she steps out of the sunlight and into the small lab Kimi works in. Kimi recently asked several more Great Wheel members to return to help with more ghoul medical research, and Amon's volunteered to lend some of his blood to them to study.

"Hey, Amon!" Kimi calls, setting her coffee down. "And Akira!"

Amon waves. Akira leans back against the wall. She shivers, missing the sun and the chirps and sprouts of spring. A yawn rises up, and she covers her mouth.

"Have some of Kimi's coffee," Amon teases her.

Kimi's lab coat hangs over her— _is that a new coat?_ It's larger than Akira remembers.

Kimi sighs. "It's decaf, so it won't help."

"Decaf?" Akira echoes.

"Trying to cut back on caffeine," Kimi says as she ushers Amon over to her colleagues. She yawns too. "Apparently yawning's contagious."

 _Or something_. Akira bites her lip. Amon looks over his shoulder and gives Akira a pointed look. _You promised you'd ask._

Akira sighs. Kimi returns, tapping something into her computer. "How've you been, Kimi? I haven't seen you much lately."

"Oh," Kimi says, flushing scarlet. "Just—busy. Researching, and I'm seeing a few more ghoul patients besides Hinami—just minor things, but it's cool that they can trust me." She beams.

 _We're both dating ghouls._ Akira smiles back at the girl. Her head throbs and she reaches up to rub it.

"Headache?" Kimi asks.

"Yeah—it's probably just because I'm exhausted." Akira's eyes catch Amon's. "Kimi, can you do a blood test to see if I'm anemic?" They had coffee with Mutsuki and Urie last night, and after Akira almost fell asleep into her wine, Mutsuki mentioned how being chronically anemic made him feel, and as a result Amon insisted Akira ask Kimi to test her.

"Huh?" Kimi's eyes widen. "You—you really haven't been feeling well?"

"Exhausted," Akira repeats. "But I haven't been sleeping well either, and I've felt out of breath a few times climbing stairs, and such."

"Sure," Kimi agrees, frowning. "I won't even make you schedule an appointment; I can test you right here and call you with the results."

"Thanks." Akira nods.

Amon wraps his arm around her as they leave the lab. Akira's shoulders relax the moment they're back out in the sunbathed air. Her elbow throbs from where they took blood. Amon's wound is already healing; hers will probably bruise.

 _He takes care of me_ , Akira thinks to her long-dead father. She could almost laugh. Her father would be shocked if he were to return to life today: his protégé a half-ghoul, his daughter dating him and working to help the ghouls who saved her life—working to help _all_ ghouls, now. And one of those ghouls is the one whom he tried to kill, the one whose parents he slaughtered, and that ghoul's about to give birth to another ghoul in just over a month now.

The next morning, Akira's phone buzzes. Amon got up early to help Kaneki meet with the prime minister about a drafting for ghoul rights, and while Akira was invited, she plans to help Juuzou examine every single lead that's come in on Furuta instead, to separate the ridiculous from the plausible. She hopes.

"Hey, Kimi," Akira says, grabbing her purse and stuffing her feet inside her shoes. Goat's been set up with their own office building by the government—not that they're allowed to advertise it yet, for fear of retribution. But it's a step.

"I have the results back," Kimi reports. "Maybe you should come in to talk, Akira."

"I can't; I have to meet Juuzou at the office," Akira says as she jogs outside, twisting the lock to their small apartment. "What do they say?"

Kimi's quiet. "I think I should see you in person."

The sunshine suddenly feels brutal, harsh. Akira clutches the rail. "Am I dying or something?"

"No!" Kimi laughs. "It's just—you _are_ mildly anemic, but there's something else too, and—"

"Is it serious?" Akira's glad Amon's not here to overhear this phone call, because he'd be in a tizzy listening to her end of the conversation.

"Depends on your definition—" Kimi mutters something about _weird_.

"Kimi, I really do need to help Juuzou with this—we need to find Furuta, and I—"

"Fine, Akira. You're pregnant. At least seven weeks, judging by your hCG levels."

"That's not possible." She got her period last month—didn't she? It was light… and she's heard that women can have some bleeding from implantation… Akira's head spins. "There's no way you got a sample mixed up with Hinami's?"

"No. I ran the test twice." Kimi blows out her breath. "Besides, hCG tells me how far along you are, and Hinami's levels would be different."

"Okay," Akira says, swallowing air. Her feet move of their own volition, carrying her down the sidewalk.

"You haven't been nauseated or anything?"

"No."

"Well, I'll stop by the office and give you some iron supplements," Kimi says. "Or, if you want, I can drop off prenatal vitamins—they have iron in them. But if you want to talk to Amon first—"

 _If I want?_ Akira turns and crosses the street, passing dozens of people. "I'll take the vitamins."

"Okay." Kimi's voice cracks as if she's about to cry.

"Kimi?" Akira brushes past an elderly couple. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Kimi insists. "There are—there's always a chance that—the baby won't make it. We've never really seen a pregnancy involving a half-ghoul and a human before, but you might need to eat flesh if you want to have the baby."

Akira almost trips in her heels. _Dammit!_ "So are you saying it's pointless to try the vitamins?" The words cut at her throat.

"No," Kimi says. "I think you should try. If you want to, that is."

"I want to." Her mind whirls.

"If you go through with this, I'd like to be able to monitor your blood levels—it could help with our research, immensely—"

"Sure," Akira breathes as she arrives at the office building, in a seedier part of town. Tsukiyama got a gardener to tend to the garden, yanking up weeds and planting actual flowers. Yellow tulip buds peek out, ready to blossom in another week.

"I'll come by around lunchtime?"

"Sounds good." Akira hangs up before Kimi can say another word.

_I'm pregnant._

_Me._

It sinks into her like teeth, biting her shoulders and numbing her body. She stumbles into the building, where Juuzou waves.

 _I can't do this now. I need to concentrate_.

She tries, but Juuzou can clearly tell that she's not fully there, and so can Shinohara. Kimi comes around noon and passes her the pills; Akira hides them in her purse. She checks her phone to see if Amon's texted her, not that she expects him to have. _Tonight_. She can tell him tonight.

"Akira?" Juuzou cocks his head. "What're you thinking about this tip?"

"Bull," Akira says. "It's phony."

Shinohara frowns at her.

"Really?" Juuzou frowns. "I think this one is plausible—we don't want to dismiss anything that's even remotely—what makes you think—"

"I'm not feeling well today," Akira cuts in, heart pounding. "I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. Sorry." She gets to her feet. "I'm anemic."

Shinohara studies her. "Okay."

"We can run through these tomorrow," Akira adds, fumbling to turn off her computer.

"Fine." Juuzou turns to Shinohara.

 _He's like your father, isn't he?_ Akira has to clench her fists to keep from touching her stomach. She thinks of her own father. _Daddy, I love you—would you be proud? Sad? Angry? Disappointed?_

_Your grandchild going to be a quarter-ghoul._

"Good morning!" sings Hinami as she bursts inside the office, her belly sticking out. Akira feels faint.

"Hinami!" Juuzou pounces. "Is the baby moving?"

She pokes at her stomach. "Wake up, baby." A smile crosses her face. "There she goes."

"Akira's sick," Juuzou announces.

"I'm anemic," Akira shoots back, yanking her purse over her shoulder. "Nothing to worry about, Hinami."

"Want to feel the baby kick?" Hinami asks. "Only another month left."

"Are you ready?" Juuzou asks, the sun drenching them through the windows.

"Not even close," Hinami says. "Yomo says no one's ready, but then again, he's never had kids, so who knows."

"Okay," Akira says, stepping closer. Hinami grabs her hand and presses it over the stomach. Something smacks her palm. _How does this feel when it's inside you?_ she wonders.

_Dad, why did you kill her parents?_

She thought she wrestled with that, cried in Hinami's arms when the girl told her how sorry she was for what she lost and meant it, because they both knew what it was like to lose their parents, but the lump spreading, sticky and poisoned, in Akira's throat testifies otherwise. _We're friends now._

_So maybe Dad wouldn't be disappointed in me having a ghoul for a baby._

_Am I disappointed?_ The idea revolts Akira— _I am not that cold-hearted!_ _I love Amon, I love—I love this baby._

Kimi's words echo in her mind. _I want it to live._

"Akira?" Hinami questions.

"Just tired," Akira repeats, and then she hustles out of the building, making it to the edge of the minuscule garden before she breaks down.

"Are you dying?" Juuzou calls behind her.

"Huh?" Akira spins around. He jogs out.

"You never take time off, and you almost cried in there." He rubs his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do I need to call Amon?"

"No!" Akira barks. "Do _not_ call him, Juuzou!"

Juuzou snickers as he holds his hands up, fingers spread. "O _kay_." He links his fingers and places them on the back of his head, whistling.

It takes Akira a moment to realize he's whistling a lullaby. "Are you practicing for Hinami and Ayato's baby?"

He stops and grins at her.

_Oh, no._

_You are the worst, Juuzou_. If she were to run into her father today, would he be able to tell?

She'll never know.

"I just found out today," Akira mutters.

"You telling anyone or is it a secret too?"

"Yeah, my boyfriend. Tonight," Akira snaps.

Juuzou covers his mouth and laughs.

* * *

 _Sorry it took so long,_ Amon texts Akira as he and Kaneki finally get in a taxi around ten in the evening. _Feel free to go to sleep_.

 _I'll stay up_ , Akira texts. _Juuzou brought over donuts. Sorry._

 _At least you have breakfast for tomorrow,_ Amon responds. Akira still never eats past nine. Amon misses donuts.

Kaneki leans his head against the window and closes his eyes.

"Could have gone worse," Amon remarks.

"Thanks for helping me out in there," Kaneki mumbles. "I just—to be honest, I still want to retire and live a quiet life."

Amon's not sure that's possible. For either of them. But… "Finding Furuta would be a good first step."

Kaneki nods.

Amon bids Kaneki good night as the taxi drops them off. He fumbles with his keys.

"I've got it," calls Akira from inside. She swings the door open, and Amon grabs her and kisses her. Blond hair trails down her back, and Akira's already in her black, lacy pajamas. "Tell me all about it," she invites, heading to their small living area. She drops onto a couch. A box of donuts sits on the end table. Three are already missing.

"Juuzou help himself?" Amon questions, studying a chocolate glazed one. He remembers how the sweet pastry used to melt onto his tongue. Maybe not ever again.

"I gave him one," Akira admits, reaching for a strawberry frosted. "And I may have eaten two already."

"Two?" Amon's jaw drops. "And you're eating past nine?"

"I'm hungry, and I really want donuts." Akira scowls.

"I thought anemia was supposed to give you cravings for things that _aren't_ food," Amon teases. The lamp glows behind Akira, kissing her hair and making it glow. "Did Kimi get back to you on that?"

"Long meeting, huh?" Akira rolls her eyes, clearly understanding that Amon isn't eager to talk about it. "Yeah. I'm mildly anemic." She sets half the donut down, pressing her lips together. "And—" She picks the donut back up and stuffs it in her mouth.

"And what?"

She finishes cramming it in and chews. Her hands reach for the box, breaking off a teeny piece of a chocolate glazed.

A laugh bubbles in Amon's throat. "Are you that hungry? Did you eat dinner?"

Akira finally swallows. She hesitates, clutching the chunk of chocolate donut, and her unfinished words hang in Amon's ears.

He remembers Ayato joking that Hinami's hungry a lot more than usual, followed by Hinami's mortification because clearly they know she's been eating flesh.

_No._

"And what?" Amon repeats, his voice a croak.

"I'm pregnant. Seven weeks." Akira stuffs the piece in.

The words don't compute. "You're—we're— _what?"_

Akira pulls her hair back, trailing crumbs in it. "I said, I'm pregnant. Or Kimi says so. She ran the test twice, so don't question it. We know Kimi wouldn't say it if she wasn't sure." She swipes the crumbs away.

Amon doubles over. _Breathe!_ His fingers fumble to clutch his cross.

"When you've calmed down," Akira says dryly. "I'll be waiting."

_She's pregnant. With my child… oh my God._

_Say something, you idiot._

"It's fine," Amon manages. "I'm—fine. Just trying not to picture your father crawling his way back from the afterlife to skewer me."

Akira actually giggles. Amon turns and wraps his arms around her.

"It's okay if you're scared," she mutters into his neck. "I'm—sad, and happy. I don't know—I didn't—our birth control must have failed."

"Will it be a ghoul, or—"

"No idea, but Kimi says it's possible they'd be more like a half-human. Like Hairu or Arima or the 0 Squad kids. But we don't know—it could still not make it, but she gave me prenatal vitamins, and—I might need to eat—what you eat."

Amon gapes at her. "You'd be okay with that?"

Akira shrugs. "I'd have to—try." Her voice breaks. "I think my father would have done it for me. Before he was broken."

 _I'm going to be a father._ Amon lets out a guffaw.

"Huh?" Akira peers up at him with a frown. Blond strands stick to her cheeks, and he brushes them back and leans down to kiss her. His tongue roves deep in her mouth, and her breath comes wet and warm against his cheek. "Is this your way of celebrating?" she rasps. "By doing exactly what we did to get in this position in the first place?"

"Why not?" His arms lift her, carrying her into the bedroom, elation surging through him.

* * *

Endorphins lull Amon into sleep, and terror wakes him up. He dreamed about Mado rising out of his grave with a quinque that looks an awful lot like the one Juuzou carried just to chase Amon. _"How dare you touch her, you half-ghoul?"_

Akira still sleeps, her hair slung out on the pillow. Amon grabs his phone and texts Kaneki and Seidou. _I need to talk to you._

The alarm goes off and Akira drags herself up. "No, Amon, I don't feel sick," she tells him, blinking sleep from her eyes. "I should go and finish combing through leads with Juuzou and Shinohara."

"If you're sure," he says. "Also—are we—telling people?"

"Kimi said there's a chance the baby won't make it." Akira bites her lip as she pauses on the edge of the bed. "Yes. We're telling people. Even if—it dies—I don't care who knows."

Amon hauls himself to his feet, closing the distance between them. He pulls Akira against his chest, his hands resting on her stomach. _My son or daughter is in there._

_You'll make it, baby. I promise you._

Reality slams into Amon as Akira shuts the bathroom door. _Do we even have a chance? We were both raised by cruel men._

_Who loved us, as flawed as they were._

Amon groans. _I want to show my child a better kind of love. I don't want to hurt them._

_It's inevitable, isn't it? That I'll hurt them?_

_What time?_ Seidou responds.

 _An hour_?

Both Seidou and Kaneki show up after Akira's left.

"What is this about?" Seidou gripes. "If the two of you are trying to rope me into helping more with Goat, isn't me refusing to kill more people good enough, or—"

"Akira's pregnant," Amon blurts out.

The coffee cup in Kaneki's hand plummets to the floor, splashing all over the wood.

"Holy shit," says Seidou, gaping.

Amon scrambles for paper towels. Kaneki apologizes, but still looks up at Amon in shock.

"Did you take the idea from Ayato and Hinami or—" Seidou asks.

"It wasn't planned."

"My God. I can't believe Mado was that careless."

Amon glares at his friend, but Seidou lets out a laugh.

"Is she _happy?"_ Kaneki ventures, no doubt remembering Hinami's words when their secret came out.

Amon nods, words clogging up his throat.

"Congratulations, then," Kaneki offers.

"You know," Seidou says, tapping his foot. "If you're worried about what Mado's old man would think, he's dead."

Amon scowls.

"Just marry her," Seidou says. "You're going to get married anyways, and a kid's a bigger commitment than a piece of paper anyways."

Amon claps his hands together, pressing his fingertips against his nose. "But what if—she—she may not be thinking—" _We haven't even discussed that yet!_

Seidou laughs again. "Amon, you are a real idiot sometimes." He looks to Kaneki, who glowers at him, Seidou's lips curve into a grin—a _real_ one, one with his eyes alive, the grin Amon's seldom seen since their days as investigators—and he shakes his head. "We all know Mado isn't going to say no."


	5. Ryouko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Also, I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but this fic does deal with labor and medical things (including blood, pregnancy complications, etc.), so if that could be upsetting, please be forewarned.

Hinami opens the door to the new apartment she and Ayato have moved into. The walls are freshly painted a soft blue, and a sunny yellow couch sits in the living area. In their room, a small cradle rests. They're one week away from her due date now.

"Hi," Akira says nervously, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Congratulations, again!" Hinami grins at her. Hirako suggested they get together, converse. _This is your chance to help her._

Akira laughs, her face pink. "Thanks."

Hinami's stomach cramps and she cringes.

"You okay?" Akira asks in alarm.

"Practice contractions," Hinami manages. "Kimi says they're normal." But she hates them, and they send a wave of fear slicing through her. _How terrible is real labor going to be?_ "Do you want something to drink? I can get water. Or coffee."

Akira smiles. "Water's fine."

Hinami fills a glass and hands it to her. "How're you feeling?"

"Tired," Akira answers. "Does that get better?"

"For a little while it did, after my morning sickness stopped," Hinami admits, dropping onto the couch and wincing. She's going to need help getting up. "But now it's pretty bad."

Akira nods, sliding onto the couch next to her. "I've been lucky. No morning sickness. And since I'm ten weeks in, Kimi says I might not get sick."

"Lucky you." Hinami laughs.

"I'm eating real food—I mean, human food," Akira corrects herself. "And… some of Amon's food."

Hinami nods. "That must be hard."

Akira rests her lips on the glass and sips. "Do you think about your parents a lot?"

"Huh?"

"About what they'd be like as grandparents, about how they'd feel about—everything." Akira turns to her, working her jaw.

"Yes," Hinami whispers. _And your dad took them away._

"I'm sorry," Akira says, as if she knows exactly what thought flew through Hinami's mind.

Another contraction grips Hinami's abdomen. "I'm sorry, too," she ekes out. "I want—you to know—I'll never like your father, but I don't hate him." The contraction lessens. Hinami struggles to shift her position. _I feel like a whale._

" _You look beautiful," Ayato assures her every night_ , _and she almost believes him._

"You've said that before," Akira points out.

"I know. I just thought you might need a reminder. I need one, sometimes."

Akira studies her water glass, how it distorts her fingers on the other side. "Thank you."

Hinami glances at the clock, Kimi's words lingering in her mind. "So what do you want to know?"

"Everything." Akira laughs. "Because, contrary to Kaneki's beliefs, I don't think a book has all the answers. What's your experience been like? I'm sure Kimi's going to study us for differences, anyways, but I want to hear from you. As a—friend."

Hinami snorts, rubbing the stomach that sticks halfway out to her knees. They discuss Braxton Hicks contractions as Hinami gets another one, Akira's cravings for sweets and salty foods, and then Akira spends almost twenty minutes trying to describe what _sweet_ and _salty_ taste like.

Another contraction. Hinami winces and leans forward. "Akira, can you help me get up?"

"Sure." Akira hops up and reaches out. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just going to the bathroom." She hopes. Hinami shuts the door behind her and catches her breath. They've been coming every seven or so minutes, but only for the past hour. She thought she was in labor two weeks ago and Ayato panicked. Kimi arrived to assure her it was false labor.

When Hinami goes to the bathroom, she freezes. _Is that blood?_

It looks like it, just a little.

When she heads back out, Akira gulps more water. She freezes at the look on Hinami's face. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." She reaches to grab her phone, sending a text to Kimi. "I've been having contractions, and they're fairly—regular, and I think I saw blood just now, so—"

"Are you in labor?" Akira sets the glass down with a thud.

"I don't know." Hinami clutches the countertop.

Her phone lights up. From Kimi. _I think you should go to the hospital. I'll meet you there._

 _What? For real?_ Hinami can feel her eyes popping. Her hand descends to her stomach, rubbing. _You're—coming?_

"She said to go to the hospital, didn't she?" Akira asks.

Hinami nods. Another contraction rollicks through her and she sucks in her breath. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_

"Ayato's with Yomo, right?" Akira asks.

"Yeah." Hinami snorts. He didn't want to go. He hasn't wanted to leave her. She pulls out her phone and dials as the contraction lessens. "Ayato?"

"Hinami! Are you—" His voice sounds anxious.

"I'm in labor," she cuts in, heart pounding. "Kimi said she'd meet us at the hospital—can Yomo give us a ride?"

"Oh my God!" Ayato shouts. A voice echoes in the background—Yomo. "Let's go! Hinami's about to have our baby—"

"My contractions are seven minutes apart, Ayato!" Hinami snaps. "I'm not going to have her before you get here!" _I better not._ Akira's skin is paler than her hair. "Akira's with me."

"We're on our way." Ayato hangs up.

"Hinami," Akira says, moving towards her. "What do you need?"

Hinami shakes her head. _I'm scared. I'm so scared._ Her shoulders shake. Akira rubs her back, trying to encourage her to breathe.

Ayato and Yomo arrive as Hinami's in the middle of a contraction, by far her most intense one yet. She doubles over and grits her teeth to keep from crying out. Akira tries to hold her up.

"Hinami!" Ayato grabs her in his arms, carrying her to the backseat of the car. Akira runs after them, jumping into the passenger seat. Yomo's hands shake as he turns the key in the ignition. He swears.

"Text—Touka," Hinami manages, clinging to Ayato's shoulder.

_I'm about to meet my daughter._

_I'm going to_ have _a daughter._

Ayato presses his cheek against her forehead, his fingers massaging her shoulders.

* * *

"Breathe, Hinami," Touka encourages. The hospital lights shine bright above them, and the entire room reeks of blood. Ayato's heart pounds in fear. No other doctor wants to be here, and since Hinami's a ghoul, Kimi begged Banjou to help. When Kimi shrugged out of her jacket, Touka, Hinami, and Ayato all let out gasps.

" _You, too?"_

" _All_ three _of you?" shrieked Ayato._

" _Oh, Kimi," said Hinami, tears filling her eyes._

Hinami bites her lips to keep from screaming. Blood trickles down. Ayato can barely keep it together. It's been nine hours, and sweat slides down Hinami's face. Touka taps at her phone, probably assuring Kaneki that Hinami's not dying.

At least, she better not be. Ayato wants to cry. She shouldn't have to be in this much pain.

"You're ready to push," Kimi says. "When I say, okay?"

"Okay," Hinami pants.

Ayato makes the mistake of looking. The lights snap above him, obscuring his vision except for the blood. He stumbles.

"Oh, hell no!" Touka shouts, lunging for him and catching him.

"I am not treating two patients!" Kimi barks. "Keep it together, _Dad_ , or I'm going to kick you out!"

"Sit down!" Touka grabs a chair and shoves him into it. And then she shoves the chair next to Hinami's head. Hinami grips Ayato's hand, hers soaked in sweat.

"Sorry," Ayato manages, his face flushing. _I am the worst. I'm already the worst_.

"I need you," Hinami manages.

"Push now, Hinami."

"I'm here," he chokes out. _That's all I know how to be. Here_. He staggers to his feet, helping Hinami bear down. It's agonizing.

"I can't do this," Hinami grunts as she leans back, strands of brown hair sticking to her forehead. Her chest heaves.

"Yes, you can," Ayato insists, clutching her hand between both of his. "Look at me, Hinami. I know you can." _I love you_. "You can do this."

A cry breaks through Hinami's lips, and Kimi's shouting. "You're almost there; I see the head."

"You can do this," Ayato whispers, pressing his head against hers.

She pushes down again, Touka on her other side. _Your parents aren't here, but we are, and I love you so much, and Touka loves you too—she's your sister—you still have a family and we're having one too_.

"One more, one more, Hinami!" Kimi cries.

"You've got this," Banjou encourages.

"If you need to scream, you can. It's not weak," Kimi adds.

A scream tears through the air, and then another scream mingles with it, the second higher pitched and frailer. Ayato jerks up, still clinging to Hinami's hand. His heart thumps. His eyes burn.

Kimi laughs, and in her arms is a blood-soaked baby girl, screaming and thrashing her arms, fighting.

_My daughter._

_She's alive._

Kimi lays her on Hinami's chest. Touka shakes her head in amazement, and Ayato can only study her, the baby's red face, her thick dark hair— _Touka's hair, my hair_ —plastered to her scalp, her chubby legs, her tiny fists.

"Oh my God," Hinami pants. "Oh my God—Ayato."

_We're parents._

He holds out his hand, cupping it around the baby's skull, Hinami's blood sticky against his skin. Everything's overwhelming—the light, the cries, Kimi finishing her medical job—and he just wants to be here with Hinami, and with their daughter.

_Is this how my dad felt about me and Touka?_

_I'm sorry I hated you, Dad._ Ayato kisses his daughter's damp hair. _I'm never going to leave you._

* * *

Kimi looks exhausted when she stumbles into :re, hair drooping in a ponytail and circles hanging under her eyes. Nishiki leaps to his feet, scrambling over to her.

Touka bursts in behind her, a grin on her face, eyes reddened. "She had a baby girl," Touka announces. "Healthy."

Juuzou claps his hands together, and the café dissolves into excited chatter. Yomo groans in relief, leaning forward and resting his forehead on his fingers. Uta even smiles. Tsukiyama shouts in excitement, his arms around Karren. Akira grins and laughs, clutching Amon's shoulder. Amon's hand rests on Akira's still-flat stomach. Shio, Rikai, and Yusa pepper Touka with questions, and Kaneki wipes at his eyes as if he's crying. Chie snaps a dozen pictures a second.

Nishiki presses a cup of steaming decaf into Kimi's hands. She leans her head against his shoulder, resting.

"How's Hinami?" asks Kaneki.

"Good. Tired," Touka adds. "She did amazing."

"I bet that punk almost fainted," Nishiki says with a snort.

"Well, it is intense," Touka shoots back.

"No way!" shrieks Tsukiyama, doubling over, laughs rolling out of his mouth. "So he actually—"

"I didn't say that!" Touka's face reddens under her hair.

"I swear to God if you faint I will murder you," Kimi murmurs in Nishiki's ear.

"I like it when you talk like that," he hisses back.

"Touka, you didn't have to say it in so many words," chirps Saiko.

"He's a ghoul; he sees blood all the time, what's the big deal?" Shirazu asks.

"It's probably different when it's the blood of someone you love!" snaps Touka.

"Wait what?" yelps Takizawa, voice shrill and cutting through the laughs and chatter.

Nishiki glances over his shoulder to see Kaneki's mouth hanging open, and he and Takizawa are both starting at _them_. Nishiki looks down and realizes— _oh yeah,_ Kimi's sweatshirt's gone, her baby bump fully on display.

Chie raises her camera.

"Oh, right!" Touka yells. "Nishiki, I forgot to yell at you for not telling—"

"H-how far along are you?" Akira stammers.

"Is anyone else pregnant?" jokes Kurona, tapping her fingers on the table where she perches, her knees pressing into Takizawa's shoulders. He doesn't look as if he minds.

"Come clean now or forever hold your peace," Juuzou announces, holding his mug of coffee up as if in a toast.

"Almost five months," Kimi answers, her hands resting over the bump. "We weren't—sure if it would work out."

Kaneki meets Nishiki's eyes and nods. "Congratulations."

Kimi flushes. Nishiki grins. "I'm going to be a better dad than Ayato."

"Hey!" Touka snaps. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean he's trying to provoke you like old days," Irimi observes, rolling her eyes.

"Is anyone else planning on having kids in the next year?" calls Naki. "It could be fun." He wiggles his eyebrows at Touka. "Especially if Hinami and Ayato's girl was to get a cousin—"

"No," says Miza from next to him. "We are not."

" _Definitely_ not," says Touka. Kaneki nods.

"How did you keep it a secret?" Karren questions, running her hands through her lavender hair.

"Banjou and sweatshirts," Kimi admits. "There's still a risk—but if I've made it this far—"

"It's a good sign," Nishiki assures her, squeezing her shoulders.

Everyone's staring at them. Akira shakes her head.

"I think our king should make a toast," proclaims Nishiki, desperate to divert eyes away from him.

Kaneki colors. Touka glowers. "I—to Hinami, and Ayato." He swallows. "And to their daughter, and Nishiki and Kimi, to you and your child, and Akira and Amon, and your baby. To a different world for them, and to new life."

 _Well, that failed as a strategy to shift attention away_. And yet Nishiki's heart feels light. "Here, here," he says, clapping his hands awkwardly as he struggles not to spill the coffee. Everyone's mug surges in the air, and they all drink to that.

"Also," begins Kimi, her voice trembling. "Kaneki—if you and—Amon, Kurona, Takizawa—maybe—all of you, if you could talk to us about what it's like—you know, being a half-ghoul—since our baby will be one, too—and neither of us can presume to understand that experience—we want to be the best parents we can be, so—"

Nishiki swallows. This was his idea, whispered late at night to Kimi when she cried, sobbing that they were setting their child up for failure, that even if he or she made it they might not fully fit in anywhere—they might suffer, and she wouldn't know what to say and neither would he.

" _But Kimi, we know so many half-ghouls," he reminded her. "We can—" The words stick in his throat. "Ask them to help us. They will."_

"Of course," Kaneki readily agrees.

"I'm stitching you a blanket with serpents and stethoscopes on it," Juuzou grumbles.

Nishiki scowls. "Hey!"

Kimi bursts into a flurry of laughter. "Thank you, Juuzou—that's really sweet of you."

"I get to tell your kid about all the times we tried to catch their father," Juuzou proclaims, stuffing a donut in his mouth. Shinohara groans.

Nishiki glares at him. Juuzou smirks. _Well, it's not like I'd try to hide it._

It's still slightly panic-inducing to think about being entirely responsible for another human being. Christ, Nishiki was barely able to take care of himself for so many years. Even this morning he lost the cap on the toothpaste. And they'll want to know, of course—the child. All about Goat, and the Serpent, and what he did.

He's not scared to tell them how Kimi's love saved him. Or gave him the freedom he needed to save himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Ayato and Hinami adjust to parenting, Akira deals with hormones, and Amon asks a question.


	6. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Maris Stella!" Akira coos, dropping to her knees. Her ankles ache, and she's ready to scream because they still have no leads on Furuta and one newspaper had to publish had article speculating that Goat's actually hiding him and plans on putting ghouls in power and subjugating humans.

" _Tell them it's horseshit and they can eat it!"_   _Akira snarled into the phone from her office. "My father was Kureo Mado and he was a CCG investigator and I wouldn't be siding with ghouls unless I knew that they weren't all monsters intent on devouring us! You're all—"_

_Juuzou covered his mouth as he laughed in front of her. Akira slammed the phone down, tears tearing at her throat._

" _Hormones?" Juuzou asked. Shinohara looked as if he couldn't decide whether he was impressed or horrified._

" _Shut up."_ That was when Akira stuffed her feet back into her stupid heels and grabbed her purse, stalking home.

" _Get some rest!" Juuzou hollered._

"You're home early," Amon remarks as he appears from the kitchen.

Akira sniffs, the scent of cinnamon and sugar saturating the air "So are you." The cat purrs and then nips her ankles. "Ow!" She picks up the fluffy animal. "Stop fighting me, Maris Stella—"

The cat hisses.

"Fine!" Akira's about to put her down when she sees something like a scrap of paper wedged in Maris Stella's collar. "Hey, she's got something in her collar."

Amon blanches. "Yes."

 _You're acting weird._  Akira fumbles to yank it out. She leans back, folded paper between her fingers. "Is this some kind of note? Did she get outside?"

Amon shrugs, and an idea flashes through Akira's mind.  _It's from you, isn't it? Is it—_

Her hands shake as she unfolds it. Her heart gallops in her chest.

_Mado Akira, will you marry me?_

Her neck snaps back. Amon crouches next to her, face red. "I—"

Akira leans across Maris Stella, who shrieks and scampers away, to press her lips into Amon's.

"Is that a yes?" he croaks, disappointing her.  _Let me kiss you._

"Mm-hm." All of her frustrations still linger, but she can breathe.  _I love you. We're having a baby in six months._ Her eyes sting, and she falls back, resting on his legs. "When do you want to get married?"

Amon's hand cradling her face, thumb rubbing her temple. His lips curve. "I presume tomorrow doesn't work."

"No way." Akira smirks. "I do want a dress. But it doesn't have to be fancy." Her heart throbs.

Her father won't be there.

"I think he'd be proud of you," Amon whispers, because he can tell what she's thinking— _of course he can._

"It's for the best," Akira manages. "It'd ruin the day if he wound up chasing Hinami and Touka through the reception. And Ayato would be there to beat him down for trying to hurt Hinami and Ryouko, so." She breaks into a smile every time she hears Hinami and Ayato's daughter's name.  _Ryouko._

_You live on in her._

And her dad lives on in her, but she's healing.

* * *

"Told you so," Seidou says to Amon after Akira shows off her ring the next morning in Goat's office. Amon rolls his eyes.

At least since Akira's pregnancy, Seidou's been starting to volunteer more and more with Goat. It gives him a cause to work towards, and Touka's happy to see it. Kaneki thinks Seidou and Ui should work more closely together, since they have the same approach from opposite perspectives, but Touka keeps telling him that will kill them both.

Touka brought over coffee, and Yoriko brought pastries for an impromptu office celebration for Akira and Amon. All of Goat, save for Ui, Hairu, Hide, Ayato, and Hinami, have gathered in Goat's small kitchen. The aroma of coffee, thankfully, drowns out the sickly odor of the pastries, although Akira, Juuzou, and Nakarai are happily munching on them.

"Planning a wedding should be easier than preparing for a kid," Urie remarks.

Yoriko bursts into laughter, wrapping her arms around Takeomi. "Maybe not quite."

"I don't want a big fancy wedding," Akira says. "I do want—all of my friends there. So all of you. Ghouls and humans alike can celebrate."

"That could actually be an opportunity," muses Kurona, tapping her pencil against her chin.

"Really?" Shirazu frowns, fiddling with his yellow hair. "How?"

"With the newspapers," says Kurona. "Show them how human ghouls are."

"I see what you mean," Akira says. She shrugs, looking to Amon and resting her hands over her stomach. "I'd be willing to go for it."

"Have we heard anything from Arima lately?" asks Shirazu. "We could use his opinion."

Kaneki shakes his head. "No. I suspect he's working with Hide, though." A melancholy look crosses her boyfriend's face, and Touka sighs. She knows Kaneki misses Arima, as complicated as his feelings towards the man are.

" _He'll come back when he feels it's right," Touka assured him. "If he feels it's right."_  Like I hoped you would.

" _He might not be in the best frame of mind, though," Kaneki worried, and Touka raised her eyebrows. Kaneki flushed. "Oh."_

" _It's okay," she assured him. "You came back."_

_Kaneki hesitated, and then pinned her to the mattress, kissing her until Touka's lips burned._

Touka smiles as she inches towards the door. She only came to congratulate Akira and Amon; now, she needs to return to :re. She promised Hinami and Ayato she'd visit later. "See you later."

Kaneki smiles back at her, and Touka's heart lifts.

"Are you going to see Hinami and Ayato this afternoon?" calls Amon.

Touka nods.

"Tell them we say hello," Amon says, digging through the cabinets and withdrawing a crinkled plastic bag. "And Akira and I went toy shopping a few days ago. It's a stuffed rabbit for Ryouko."

Touka snorts, peering into the bag. "It's even a black rabbit!"

"We did put some thought into it," Akira says as Juuzou cackles. Yomo shakes his head. "Tell Hinami I'll stop by next week, okay? When she's had more time with the baby. I suspect I'll need the parenting advice." A lost look crosses Akira's face. She fiddles with her hair.

Kimi nods.

"You were a pretty great mother to me," Kaneki says softly.

"Hopefully my new child won't be as much of a headache," Akira quips.

"Does that make me your stepfather?" asks Amon, rubbing his forehead. "Oy, Eyepatch."

Kaneki flushes.

"Have a great day," Touka calls as she rolls her eyes, heading down the stairwell and runs into a soft body. "Oof!"

"S-sorry!" stammers Hairu, straightening up.

"It's fine," Touka says. "Everyone's upstairs celebrating the engagement."

Hairu nods. "I'll go join, then." Her face blushes as pink as her hair as she glances down at her phone and then stumbles up the stairs.

"Hairu?" Touka calls, heart pounding.

The young woman turns around, her blouse and skirt perfectly pressed. "Ui's on his way—"

"I'm sure Kaneki knows, and that he doesn't mind lateness," Touka cuts in. "I'm just—it's okay, you know." She swallows. "You don't have to be entirely okay with things, not yet."

Hairu lowers her eyes and clutches the railing. "I want to be, though. Ui says—it's the right thing to do—and I'm—"

 _One of your parents was a ghoul like me_ , Touka thinks.  _I doubt they showed you any love._ "It took Akira time, too. And the Quinx and Suzuya Squad are still adjusting. I just—I appreciate that you're trying."

Hairu's lips curve. "Do you think we could be friends eventually?"

Touka studies her. "Maybe."

Hairu laughs. "I think—Ui will be happy to hear that we've had this conversation. Even if he never admits it."

Touka snorts.

"I hope Kimi's research eventually pays off," Hairu says. "You should be able to try the pastries I'm sure Yoriko has upstairs."

"Thank you."  _But even if it doesn't, will you still see us as human?_

Well, at least she's making steps in that direction. Touka hurries down the stairs and out into the daylight.

* * *

Hinami's eyes have barely closed when she hears a knock on their apartment door. She lets out a groan.

"Don't worry about it," Ayato assures her. She feels him drawing a blanket over her, Ryouko snug and warm against her chest. "You sleep. I'll get them to go somewhere else."

"No, it's okay," Hinami mumbles, prying her eyes open. "Let them in."

"Are you sure?" Ayato frowns down at her. Since she gave birth, he's been nothing but attentive to her and Ryouko. His fingers graze her cheek.

Hinami nods. She runs her fingers along the edge of her daughter's scalp, the dark hair softer than silk.

Ayato opens the door to reveal Touka, Kaneki, Yomo, and Uta, the latter of whom hangs back as if he's aware many people have mixed feelings towards him. Albeit not any of the people in this apartment.

"Don't get up, Hinami," Kaneki insists, holding his hands out.

"She wasn't planning on it," Ayato says. Hinami shakes her head at her boyfriend. He smirks at her.

"Is she asleep?" croons Touka, creeping closer.

"Finally," Hinami says. "She's not an easy sleeper."

Yomo crouches down next to Hinami, studying his—great-niece, it must be.

"Does she look like my mother at all?" Ayato ventures. Hinami watches as he clenches and unclenches his fists.

"I see Hikari in her," Yomo says. "Especially in her nose."

Hinami chortles.

"How have you two been?" Kaneki queries, leaning against the wall. Ayato takes a seat on the arm of the sofa, his hand descending to stroke Hinami's.

"Okay," Ayato says. "Excited to have her."

They both cried last night, Hinami remembers.  _We're overwhelmed._ Grateful, happier than ever, and still overwhelmed. And when she saw tears beading in Ayato's eyes, she told him to let it out, and he started sobbing, hands covering his face in shame.

" _I miss them."_

_He didn't have to say whom. Hinami knew. "I miss them, too."_

_Mom, Dad… Ryouko, Asaki, Hikari, Arata._

_Ayato clutched her shoulders, and she pressed her face against his chest, and they cried together, bodies shaking while their daughter slept for only an hour._

It won't be easy for Amon and Akira or Kimi and Nishiki, either. But at least now, they aren't alone. Onii-chan and onee-chan are here, and Yomo too, and even Uta.

" _Don't isolate yourself," Kimi warned her at the hospital. "Postpartum depression is a real thing, Hinami."_

"We're here for you, you know," Kaneki says. "Whatever you two need."

"I'll even sacrifice my sleep for a night if you really need some," Touka says with a wince.

"Really?" Ayato peers at her.

"Of course. We love you both." Touka punches her brother in the shoulder.

"Do I get to design her mask when she gets older?" Uta wonders.

"Well, here's to hoping we don't need masks by that time," Ayato cuts in. He casts Hinami a desperate look. Hinami's pretty sure that he'd rather die than have Ryouko live the kind of life they both had.

"But yes," Hinami says. "I suspect masks will be a part of ghoul culture even if they're no longer necessary." She offers Uta a smile, and he smiles back.

"No one else had better have kids," Touka says with a roll of her eyes. "Three in one year?"

"Have you ever thought of having kids?" Hinami asks Yomo.

He blanches when he realizes she's talking to him. Ayato covers his mouth to keep from snickering.

"I do," Yomo says, nodding to Ayato and Touka. And Hinami, and Ryouko, and Kaneki. "You're all my kids."

"So in a world of ever-increasing stepdads," Touka says. "That makes you one, right, Uta?"

Uta's pierced eyebrows rise. He looks as if he can't decide whether to be pleased or jump out the window in horror.

"He's the cool uncle," Hinami says. "Just wait until Ryouko's of age before giving her her first tattoo, okay?"

"How about no tattoos at all, ever?" Ayato counters.

Uta winks.

 _See, we like you still._  Hinami hopes he recognizes it.

And that, as they continue to move away from the war, all of them let more and more walls drop, let others in, feel less alone.

* * *

It's the day of their wedding, with Akira six months along, and several somewhat terrified human reporters in attendance. " _A human marrying a ghoul is a good story," Akira insisted. "It'll help humanize the ghouls in Goat."_

" _So long as you don't serve flesh," Juuzou remarked._

Amon paces in front of the church, fiddling with the cuffs of his tux jacket.

"Relax," says Seidou, pushing back his white hair—which, to his credit, he actually combed today. "You look great." He smirks. "Plus you never killed humans. I'm keeping to the shadows."

"That's exactly what I don't want," Amon cuts in, his hand grabbing the cross Seidou returned to him the day he came back to Goat, the prodigal son ready to be the father and help Amon when he needed the cross back. His eyes trail up, focusing on the wooden cross nailed to the wall. "I don't want you acting like you don't belong. You're a friend."

Seidou snorts, gaze scraping his shoes, shined and polished.

 _You get a future too_. Seidou believes that some days. And then others, he flounders.

"Does that mean I get to teach your son to misbehave?" Seidou finally asks, cracking a smile.

Amon laughs. At their last ultrasound, Kimi told them they were having a boy. "You'll teach him to behave and you know it."

"If I say otherwise, do I forfeit godparent rights?"

"Maybe," Amon says, but he laughs. "No."

"I'm just kidding," Seidou says quickly.

"I presume Kurona told you, because I know she overheard. Yes, Akira and I would like you to be the godfather."

Seidou stuffs his hands in his pockets. Music starts playing, soft and sweet like Tsukiyama promised Akira he would play. His eyes look wet as he sweeps his arms out. "Your bride awaits."

 _And you don't even know half of it,_  Amon thinks. But he'll let Akira tell Seidou about  _that_ secret. If she wants to. Or maybe she wants to surprise him in a few months.

Roses and lilies bloom across the church. Amon's heart pounds. His throat constricts, barely able to pull in air as he waits, back turned.

The doors at the back of the church creak open, and Amon whirls around.

Akira's hair piles golden on her head, glistening in the late sunlight streaming through strained glass windows bearing images of the resurrection and the Madonna and child. A white dress, sparkling, adorns her, and her lips part in a smile.

Her father's not at her side, and she asked to walk down the aisle alone. Chie snaps photo after photo. She brokered an agreement with reporters to give them the pictures.

Akira comes closer, and the snaps and flashes of light from the camera fade. Tsukiyama's bridal march and Karren's violin trickle away, and all Amon can feel is the slight shakiness in her palms when she takes his hand, all he sees is the gleam in her eyes, and all he hears is the pounding of his own heart. His fingers trace her wrists, and her pulse beats against his fingertips, the same rhythm.

* * *

"They seem like they're having fun," Nishiki comments to Kimi, his arm around her waist as they watch everyone having fun.  _The woman I love is having my child, and here in my arms._

He never thought he'd find someone who loved him like this, whom the world would actually let him keep.

Amon's laugh ripples across the room. He and Akira sit at the front of the ballroom. Several reporters chat nearby. One croons at Ryouko, whom Ayato holds in his arms. The baby's fast asleep, a red bow in her dark hair. Hinami slings her arm over Kaneki's shoulder, laughing.

_I'll have a daughter soon enough._

Life's changing.

Nishiki never thought changes would be good—first with his parents and then his sister—but Kimi came, and then Anteiku and his family there, and then Kimi came back.

"I'm glad," Kimi whispers.

Takizawa saunters over to Amon and Akira, clutching a bottle of alcoholic blood. "Shh, don't tell the reporters," he jokes. "Oh right, Akira, you can't have any, can you?"

"Remember the time we all went out and got drunk and Seidou, you yelled at our superior?" Amon asks.

Takizawa groans and pours himself a glass. "Don't remind me. Such a shame, Akira. You can't even have real wine, can you?"

Kimi glares at him. Nishiki shakes his head.

"Only for a few more months," Akira grumbles.

"You look beautiful," Takizawa tells her. "Glowing. Pregnancy suits you. Except if you were pregnant forever you'd never be able to drink again, so—"

Amon gestures behind Nishiki, who turns to see Juuzou standing there. "Intervene for your old friend?" He raises his eyebrows.

Juuzou's eyes light up. He springs at Takizawa, elbow jabbing into the glass of blood. It splashes over Takizawa's suit. He yelps and gapes.

"He told me to," Juuzou says, thrusting his thumb at Amon.

Takizawa laughs. "Congratulations, you two." He spins on his heel and heads off, Nishiki presumes to the bathroom to try and clean up although it's hopeless—that shirt is ruined. Instead, Takizawa slips next to Kurona as she tries to get Ryouko to smile, and the next thing Nishiki knows, he and Kurona are laughing over something together.

"I need some juice or something," Kimi tells Nishiki, rubbing her throat.

"Done," Nishiki agrees, sprinting off. He shakes his head as he remembers how he would never think to help or serve anyone before he met Kimi.  _You bring out the best in me._

"Thinking about your own wedding day?" Kaneki asks, pouring a cup of coffee—Nishiki presumes for Touka.

Nishiki winks. "Maybe." In truth, he plans to ask Kimi after their daughter's born, and Kaneki knows it.

"I finally heard from Hide," Kaneki says. "He'll be back in another month or so." Hide's been off chasing leads for the past six months.

"Good," Nishiki says as he fumbles to pour Kimi some pomegranate juice. "Um—did you tell him about—"

"I did." Kaneki grins. "He says congratulations."

Nishiki relaxes. "Well, good, then." He spots Yoriko giggling with Takeomi. Mutsuki grabs Urie's hands, half-drunk and laughing. "This is the first wedding we've had. Soon there'll be a second, you know. And then—" It's only a matter of time for Ayato and Hinami, and Karren and Tsukiyama. Maybe Mutsuki and Urie too, though knowing Mutsuki they'll elope and send everybody a text two weeks later. Though Urie would probably like a big wedding. "What about you and Touka?"

Kaneki turns the color of the wine on the table.  _Actual_  wine, Nishiki notes, not blood, not that they can have it. "Maybe." He laughs.

"What?"

"Well—whoever would have thought?" Kaneki says. "It's all so—"

"I would have thought," Nishiki says. "Please. I knew from the moment she kicked my ass and shoved meat into your mouth."

"You did not!"

Nishiki winks. Touka approaches, her—very low-cut—black dress clinging to her frame. "Do I need to intervene?"

"Nah," Nishiki says with a wink. "You can have your future husband all to yourself right now." And he jogs off before Touka can kick him.

Kimi chats with Yomo, who swirls a glass of blood. Nishiki aches for some, but it doesn't seem fair to drink when Kimi can't. She thanks him for the juice, rubbing her back. Nishiki makes a mental note to give her a back massage when they get home.

"I remember when Hikari told me she was pregnant," Yomo says to Kimi. "I was shocked, but happy for her." He shakes his head, watching Ayato lift Ryouko high in the air, contorting his face to amuse his daughter. "I can't believe she'd be a grandmother. It's really strange to think about. Not that she'd be an old grandmother. She'd be a pretty young one."

Oh, great, he's starting to ramble. Nishiki's seen drunk Yomo before.

"You still miss her, don't you?" Kimi asks.

Yomo gulps more of the liquid. Nishiki might have to take it away soon enough, or he'll be running around blabbering all of Goat's members' secrets to the reporters—the kind that aren't supposed to be public knowledge. "Of course. She was my older sister. She—"

"I miss my parents too," Kimi admits. "Nishiki misses his older sister, too."

"She'd be really proud of her kids," Yomo says, glancing at Nishiki. "And she'd love Hinami. And Kaneki. Your sister'd probably be really proud of you, too, Nishiki."

 _Would she?_  he wonders. It's hard to say.

"Congratulations!" sings out a voice from behind them. Kimi and Nishiki whirl around to see Hide rushing in, hair unkempt.

"What are you doing here?" shrieks Kaneki.

"Someone had to make a dramatic entrance," Nishiki comments. Kimi elbows him in the ribs. "Ow!"

"You look beautiful, Kimi!" Hide greets her.

"Not fat?" Kimi quips.

"Not at all," Hide confirms. He smiles at Nishiki. "Congratulations to you two, too. Two more months?"

"Yup," Kimi confirms. Although she's been monitoring the baby's heart rate daily and told Nishiki that if it drops, she'll induce herself early. Banjou and several of her friends from the Great Wheel will have to help her deliver, because no other doctors in the city are willing to consider it.

_It's my fault she's being shunned._

_Is it? She made her own choice. And she chose me._

And judging by the way she looks at him, even as laughter rings around then and Ryouko finally bursts into the shrill cries of an overwhelmed baby and glasses clink and music blasts, she doesn't regret it.

Maybe his sister didn't regret it, either.

* * *

Kaneki steps out of the washroom to find Ayato rubbing Ryouko's back. The infant wails and flails.

"Shh, shh," Ayato says nervously. "It's all right, Ryouko. Daddy's here."

The baby's face screws up as she sobs.

"Does she need to be changed?" Kaneki asks as he approaches.

Ayato looks up at him, his eyes wide like a child's. "No. I think she's tired—Hinami's just saying goodbye and we'll go."

"Okay." Kaneki tries to make a silly face at the baby. She quiets for a moment, frowning at him. A small bow adorns her hair. "Want me to take her?"

"You can try." Ayato hands his daughter over, biting his lip. "I wish I could make sure she's never unhappy. I'm a terrible father."

"You are not," Kaneki insists, and Ryouko bursts into tears again, her chubby arms reaching for Ayato. Ayato's mouth drops in delight. "See?"

"Don't worry," Ayato says as he takes his daughter back, pressing her head against his shoulder. "You're not a bad uncle."

Music and laughter echoes from the ballroom. Kaneki leans back against the wall. "It's been hard for you, hasn't it?"

"I wouldn't trade it for anything," Ayato snaps.

 _Oh, for pity's sake._  "I didn't think you would."

"I just don't want to end up like my mother, or my father," Ayato says. "Dead, or destroyed." He gulps. "I don't want her to hate me."

 _I don't know what to say_. "Ayato," says Kaneki. "If you love her and try to do what's best for her, even if you screw up sometimes, even if she hates you on occasion like when you won't let her sneak out to smoke with her boyfriend when she's a teenager—"

Ayato laughs.

"—she won't hate you forever," Kaneki finishes.

Hinami appears as Ryouko quiets down, and Kaneki slips away.

* * *

"I haven't heard much about him. He's a slippery eel, " Hide reports, slinging himself over one of the chairs in :re. "All I did hear, from one associate, is that they don't think Furuta is 'over it' and that he'll try something soon, if he hasn't already."

Nishiki groans, his mind fuzzy. Kaneki leans across the table. Everyone went home except Kaneki, Touka, Hide, Kimi, and him. Kimi's head lolls against his shoulder. She's half-asleep.

"Knowing him it'll be some last-ditch effort designed not to succeed, but to hurt us on his way out," Kaneki says. He cracks his knuckles.

"Does he even want to win?" asks Touka. "I get the feeling all the news reports are just amusing to him and he wants to lose in style."

"Probably," says Nishiki. Kimi blinks and straightens up. "We'll talk more tomorrow," he adds.

"You know," Kimi mumbles as they walk home, her arms around him, bangles jangling on their wrists. Her shoes step in a puddle and she cringes. "My parents—I think they'd be happy. About the baby. About us."

Nishiki swallows. "I hope so."

"I think they'd like you," Kimi adds. "Actually, I know they would—the fact that you're a ghoul wouldn't matter. You treat me well, and you helped me heal when my parents died."

A raindrop splatters on Nishiki's arm, and clouds move in over the moon. What would it be like if Kimi's parents were still alive? What would it be like to have parents to turn to?

 _You'll know,_  Nishiki promises, hand on Kimi's stomach. A foot kicks him. Kimi smiles up at him, streetlights steaming golden light down on her auburn hair.

Nishiki leans down and kisses her, rain starting to fall harder, striking their shoulders and necks, shrouding them, but Kimi holds onto him and doesn't let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Kimi and Akira have very different approaches to labor.


	7. Fast Labors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Kimi wakes up in the middle of the night with the pressing need to use the bathroom. Three more weeks of this and then they'll have made it, and she'll hold a miracle in her arms. She heaves herself up from the bed and hobbles towards the bathroom.

She lifts up her shirt after washing her hands. Stretch marks cover her midsection. Her phone buzzes, and she lifts it to see a picture of Ryouko grinning. Clearly Hinami and Ayato still aren't getting much sleep if they're awake at this time. In the photo, Ryouko looks like Kimi imagines Hinami looked as a child, but with Ayato's hair.

Something soaks her legs.  _Huh? Did I—_

_Oh, dammit._

Kimi grabs the counter. She glances down. Clear liquid pools on the floor.

_Holy shit._

Kimi scrambles into the bedroom, almost tripping over Nishiki's shoes.  _Put them away next time, Nishiki!_  He snores gently. The clock's green numbers read 2:58. Kimi's hands descend to shake her boyfriend. "Nishiki."

He moans and turns over, burrowing deeper under the comforter.

 _Not now! "Nishiki!"_ she hisses, gripping his shoulders. "Nishiki! Wake up!"

"Huh?" He blinks, gaping up at her. "Kimi! I-is—"

"My water just broke," Kimi informs him. Her teeth chatter, but she's not cold.

"Are you sure?" Nishiki pulls himself up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Pretty damn sure." Kimi balls her hands. "I'm not having contractions yet, but I will be soon, or I'm going to have to induce myself—" Her mind spins. What if her friends don't pick up their phones at this time of night? "Get me to the hospital, Nishiki, because I don't want to have this baby in the apartment!"

Nishiki leaps out of bed. "Sit down. Relax," he tells her—or himself. His hands shake as he tears them through his hair. He spots a rumpled pair of jeans on the bureau and shimmies into them. He grabs his glasses and his phone. "I'm calling Yomo to drive us."

"Will he be awake?"

"He'll wake up," Nishiki promises, voice grim. "Pick up, Yomo!" he curses into the phone.

"If I'm not having contractions yet, it won't hurt to get a taxi," Kimi calls. "We don't have to tell them about being ghouls."

"No!" Nishiki bats his hand. "Yomo, hi. It's Nishiki. Kimi's in labor… yes, again! You did a great job with Hinami—or so she says—I'm just asking you to get us to the hospital so my daughter isn't born on a floor that hasn't been washed in three weeks because I've been putting it off!"

"Three weeks?" Kimi screeches.

"Contraction?" Nishiki asks, pausing in the doorway. Shadows fall over his face.

"No, but  _three weeks?"_

Nishiki rolls his eyes. His glasses gleam in the moonlight streaming through the bedroom window. " _Thank_  you." He hangs up. "Yomo's on his way."

Kimi snorts. Her abdomen tightens and she sucks in her breath.

"Kimi?" Nishiki asks as he rummages through their drawers. "Anything we should bring? What would you like? Also—"

" _This_ ," Kimi ekes out through gritted teeth. "Is a contraction."

"Oh shit," says Nishiki, dropping the clothes he was about to stuff into a bag and rushing to her side. "Breathe?"

"It's not that bad yet," Kimi hisses.  _But thanks._  His mouth trembles with excitement, and his eyes blink rapidly, like he's terrified.

She fumbles with her phone, placing a few calls of her own. Nishiki packs and helps Kimi down the stairs and into Yomo's car, Yomo looking at her as if he really thinks she's going to pop out a kid in the backseat of his car.  _Calm yourself._ Nishiki tosses a towel down for Kimi to sit on. Yomo's eyes are the size of saucers.

"Have you been drinking?" Nishiki yelps as he slams the door shut. Kimi spots a bottle of alcoholic blood in the cup holder.

"Genuinely no," Yomo responds, almost dejected. That would have been a good excuse, Kimi figures. "Itori dropped this off for Uta and me." The car rumbles to a start. The streets are devoid of traffic, and they zip along, buildings dark and silent, ignoring them. "Did you call your friends? Are they meeting us at the hospital?"

"I tried," Kimi admits. "Hopefully they wake up soon—the hospital's expecting me, though."

"But no doctors will see you," Yomo states, his knuckles whitening against the steering wheel.

"No," Kimi says, lacing her hand with Nishiki's. "That's okay."

"I'll get Banjou to come," Nishiki vows, pulling out his phone.

Kimi's stomach cramps again. She shifts in the seat, covering her mouth and trying to remember to breath. She can feel the pain in her wrists, in her ankles. It feels as if someone's crushing her.

Nishiki grasps her shoulders, squeezing as Yomo takes a left turn. "I'm here," he whispers. "I've got you. You're gonna make it through this."

* * *

He hopes.

Nishiki's never been so scared in his entire life. Kimi insists it will be fine, but his mind races ahead, and behind, circling him with nightmares and memories. He remembers his sister, bleeding out and dying in his arms.

Kimi's here, still breathing in his arms—well, trying to breathe. Her face swells red and he has to remind her, even though she tells him to shut up because breathing isn't helping.

"It's keeping you alive," Banjou notes.

Kimi can't respond. She doubles over, her hand wringing Nishiki's. And there it is, the familiar smell of blood.

It's only been two hours, and Kimi's friends have finally started responding, assuring her that they're on the way. But Kimi's already in tears. "How—am I—gonna do this for so many more hours?" she rasps.

"You can," Nishiki encourages. "You're strong, Kimi." Far stronger than him. If anyone doesn't make it, it'll probably be him.

She gasps. "I want to—push."

"It can't be time yet."

But Kimi grits her teeth, throwing her head back. Veins pop in her throat. Her shirt, loose, slides down her shoulder, and Nishiki catches a glimpse of the pink scar he gave her. He moves his fingers to press her back, keep her calm.

Kimi lets out a small groan, and then her eyes pop open. "I have to push."

"You—"

"I don't know, but I know I have to!"

"Okay," Nishiki says. Kimi bears down, her hair slick with sweat.

When they arrived at the hospital, the doctor on duty looked at him with terror. Nishiki grinned back at him, making sure to bare his teeth. It was probably easy for the doctor to pretend that Kimi didn't really have a ghoul boyfriend and wasn't really having a half-ghoul baby until he met Nishiki. Then again, it's not like Nishiki's eyes are dark or deadly.  _I just look human, and that's what scares you, isn't it?_

He sees red out of the corner of his vision. Kimi's blood, saturated with her scent. Now he's not sure which one of them clings to the other's hand. It's normal, he knows, and yet—

"Nishiki," Kimi grinds out.

"Y-yeah?" His mind spins.  _What if she comes out not breathing? What if she gets sick? What if she resents us for having her in the first place?_

_I'll love her._

"I think—"

"I see the head," Banjou says. "Kimi—"

"Hey!" Nishiki has half a mind to shove him away. Kimi glares at him.  _Never mind._

"Help—me," Kimi pants, and Nishiki does the only thing he can: holds her, and lets her move.

An infant lets out a squall, and Nishiki gasps, whirling around. Banjou holds up a screaming baby, wrapping in a white towel smeared with blood. Bald, with one kakugan and ten fingers all grasping at air. His daughter writhes as Banjou places her in Kimi's arms. Kimi's sobbing, tears streaming down her face and dripping onto their daughter.

 _You didn't think we'd make it this far, did you? You hoped, but you didn't think it._  Something drips off Nishiki's chin and he realizes his cheeks are soaked, and his breath shakes his chest, tears through his lips.

 _My daughter_. He reaches down to trace his fingers over her shoulder, down her tiny, slimed arm, and she looks up at  _him_.

_My baby. I'll do whatever I can to protect you, no matter what. I never want to let you down—I want to be your hero, and I'm so unprepared, but you make me think miracles are possible._

"You're so beautiful," Kimi croaks out, and the baby turns to look back at her, face still wrinkled and screams tearing from her lips.

Nishiki can't even speak. His voice breaks. "It's okay," he manages. "We're—here."

* * *

"They finally took Mie to meet Ryouko!" Kaneki reports, holding his phone in the air. Amon scrambles to find his own. Hinami sent out a series of photos.  _Best friends_ , she captioned them. Mie slouches in Kimi's arms, wrinkled and tiny, while Ryouko sits up, alert, on Hinami's lap.

"Aw," Hide croons. "Which one are you arranging your son's marriage to, Amon?"

Amon rolls his eyes. Mie's now five weeks old, and Akira has only one more week to go before their due date. She finally took time off from work starting today. He misses her presence in the office, though. A knot tightens in his stomach.

_I'm going to be a father, and I'm not ready._

" _I'm still not," Nishiki told him last night. "Ayato has no idea what he's doing, either."_

The thought does not comfort Amon. Ayato had to take Ryouko to visit Kimi yesterday, because he was scared when she wouldn't stop crying. Apparently she's just teething, albeit a bit early.

"All I'm saying," says Hide. "Is that you better not continue the Dead Parents Trend and name your kid Kureo. That could be awkward."

"Akira and I have some common sense," Amon snaps. They did talk about it, and in the end, Amon knows Hinami might have understood, even sympathized.

Neither he nor Akira wanted to ask her or Touka to say that name, though, and so Kureo will be a long-dead grandfather for their son. Touka and Hinami will be aunts.

Footsteps echo on the stairs, and Mutsuki and Urie burst into the office, Saiko and Shirazu giggling behind them.

"What have the four of you been up to?" Kaneki calls.

"Nothing!" Saiko sings.

"Why don't I believe you?" Kaneki winks. Mutsuki clutches Urie's arm. Urie grins, and it strikes Amon how few times he's seen Urie look this happy and carefree.  _What happened?_

Amon's phone rings.  _Akira_.

"Speak of the devil?" Hide asks, raising his eyebrows as he swings his legs. Kaneki rolls his eyes.

"Amon," she blurts out before he can even greet her.

"Are you okay?"

"Ooh, this could be interesting," Hide observes. Mutsuki, Urie, and Saiko all study him. Shirazu crosses his arms. Amon turns his back.

"I think I'm in labor." Akira's voice is a wheeze.

_"Think?"_

"I  _am_. Can you—get here?" She laughs, but it's weak.

"I'm on my way."

"Is it time?" Hide calls. Kaneki grabs Amon's jacket, shoving it at him.

"I'll call Kimi," Kaneki volunteers. "See if she can meet you—Nishiki can watch Mie—"

Amon tried to tell Kimi that her friends could help them deliver, but she insisted she was willing to help. He knows Akira's grateful for it. He nods and sprints down the stairs, flying out on the sidewalk. The late afternoon sun slaps his eyes and he squints. He darts across the crosswalk right as it turns. A car blares its horn at him.

"Where are you off to, young man?" scolds an older woman.

"My wife's having a baby!" Amon hollers. The entire street probably heard him. He turns red.

"Congratulations!" the woman yells. Amon bounds towards their apartment, slamming the door open.

To find Akira crumpled on the floor, Maris Stella retreated to a corner. The cat shrieks when he rushes over to his wife.

She lets out a moan when he touches her. Her shoulders shake as she hyperventilates. "I can't—it hurts so bad—"

"I'm calling a ride," Amon says, pulling out his phone and reading a text. He pulls her against him with his other arm. "How long ago did it start? Kimi wants to know."

"Six am?"

Amon freezes. "Akira, it's four. In the afternoon."

"I—know." She lets out a groan, face contorting in agony. Amon realizes blood and water soak the floor around her legs.

"Akira!"  _Shit, shit, shit!_  Amon starts to dial Kimi's number.

"Oh hey," says a voice behind him, the door banging against the wall. Maris Stella hisses. "Oh, shut up, kitty."

"Seidou—" Akira yelps.

"Yikes, Mad— _Amon Akira,"_ Seidou teases, jangling a pair of silver keys. "Not used to saying that yet. Anyways, Kaneki called and said you might need a ride and it was better for me to drive you than Yomo."

"She's been in labor for ten hours!" Amon yells.

"Wait, what?" Seidou explodes. " _Akira!"_

"I didn't see—the point—in spending hours and hours in the hospital!" Akira sucks in her breath. "I wanted to—wait until the contractions got really strong."

"Okay," Amon says, his heart thumping like it's trying to escape from his chest. "Okay."

Her breath comes out a whistle through her teeth. Akira rocks forward. "What if I don't make it?"

"You'll make it," Amon assures her, his heart skipping a beat. "I'll donate an organ to turn you into a ghoul if I have to."

"Not—like that," Akira whimpers. "What if I—I feel so much pressure—"

Amon's gaze meets Seidou's. His friend's pallor turns gray. "Okay. Um, let's get going then."

"I'm going to help you up, okay?" Amon whispers, hooking his arm around Akira's waist. He hoists her to her feet and she stumbles. Blood streams down her legs, staining her skirt.

"Oh  _shit_ ," Seidou says.

 _Is this much blood normal?_  Amon's head pounds. He has no idea. He grabs Akira in his arms, carrying her. "Call Kimi! Tell her she needs to meet us there as soon as possible—it's been ten hours—"

"Kurona, call her!" Seidou hollers as he jogs to the curb. Kurona swings the door to the backseat open and fumbles for her phone. "We were out when Kaneki called."

"Out where?" Akira hisses as Amon loads her in the backseat. Kurona tells Kimi what's going on.

Seidou yanks open the door and jumps inside. "It's only twenty minutes to the hospital—you can make it, right?"

Akira's face crunches, purple with pain. Tears stream from her eyes. Blood soaks through her skirt, through Amon's pants, wet and warm. Her hands hook into Amon's shoulders and she pulls herself up, eyes bloodshot.

"Kimi's on her way right now. Nishiki's with Mie," Kurona reports. "She says you should've called earlier."

"I didn't—think—I needed—" Akira cries out.

"This is the most Akira thing ever," Seidou declares. The light in front of them turns red. "Oh, come on!"

"I'm really not going to—make it, Amon," Akira croaks out, her grip tight.

"You are," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say.

She shakes her head wildly. "No, I'm not! I need to—I have to—"

"Shit," says Kurona, unbuckling her seat belt and whirling around in the passenger seat. "Pull your skirt up."

"Should I keep driving?" asks Seidou. "Should you call Kimi back?"

"I know what I'm doing!" Kurona snarls. "Amon, help your wife!"

His fingers slick with blood, Amon yanks her skirt up.

"Do you see a head?" Kurona asks.

"Y-yes," Amon says, not believing the answer himself.  _Am I really seeing this?_

"Mother—" Kurona stops herself. "Seidou, pull over  _right freaking now_."

Seidou obeys. Tires squeal. Kurona leaps out of the car, rushing around to the side of the car. Others rush by them, and Amon can't help hoping someone, anyone, will stop and help. "Akira, push."

"I'm pushing."

"Again—Amon,  _help_  me out here!"

" _How?"_

"Get your jacket off, for one!"

"I'm calling Kimi," Seidou declares, yanking out his phone and cussing. He keeps his gaze glued to the dashboard, face red.

"Amon, you're going to have to catch your son," Kurona instructs. "Get ready—Akira, you're almost there, okay? Maybe three more pushes. And Amon, wrap your son in the jacket when he comes out. He'll need to stay warm."

" _Three?"_ Akira looks as if Kurona just told her she'd be here for three more years. The skin on her face tightens to the point where it looks like it'll snap.

"I mean, I don't know; I'm just guessing! Seidou, give me your shoelaces and don't question me!"

Amon grimaces.

"Head's almost out," Kurona encourages. "Come on, Akira. Almost there. Two more."

And then the head's out, and Akira's groaning and Kurona's saying  _one more_  and she doesn't care if Akira screams, it's okay—and the baby slips out into his hands. A cry ripples through the air.

"Holy fuck," says Seidou, dropping the phone from his ear. He's still not looking. He holds the shoelaces over his shoulder.

"You just need to get the placenta out now," Kurona says, yanking the shoelaces from Seidou's fingers and wrapping it around the umbilical cord. "One more push, Akira."

Amon can't think. His son wriggles in his hands, nose pinched like Akira's, hair faint but dark like his. His chest heaves.

"Amon," Akira croaks, panting. Kurona yanks off her jacket and covers Akira with it. "Can I—hold him?"

Amon nods, sliding back into the car as Kurona vacates it. He hands her their son and shivers. His black jacket swallows the baby.

"He's so small," Akira whispers.

_He's my son._

Amon looks over his shoulder to see Kurona tapping Seidou on the shoulder. He turns around and kisses her on the lips.

"How long has this been going on?" Amon manages. He knew they were close, but he didn't know they were together.

"None of your business," Seidou retorts, peering over. "My God. You two have a kid. Boy?"

Amon nods.

"He's perfect," Akira says, her fingers stroking the baby's fat cheeks.

"He is pretty much that," Seidou agrees, his arm resting on the headrest.

"Do we tell him?" Akira asks Amon. "It's early."

"Why not?" Amon looks at Seidou as their friend turns the keys in the ignition, Kurona back in the passenger seat. "Takizawa Seidou, meet Amon Seidou."

"Huh?" Seidou turns to face them, his hair obscuring his eyes but not his frown.

"We're naming him after you," Akira tells him as the baby wails.

"Because you're our dear friend," Amon adds, one hand on his son's hand, the other on his cross.

Seidou's jaw drops. He looks up, to the side, anywhere but at them, and tears break down his face.

"I'll drive," Kurona offers.

"No, I can do it. You just—are you sure? You want to?" Seidou pulls back onto the highway.

"We've known since we were three months along," Amon answers, the sun starting to melt golden and orange across a blue wax sky.

Seidou wipes at his eyes.

When they arrive at the hospital, Kurona rushes off to get a wheelchair for them. They find Kimi, Kaneki, Touka, and Juuzou all waiting in the parking lot.

"We're a little late," Kurona calls as Kimi races towards them.

"Huh?" hollers Juuzou.

Amon steps out of the car, the baby crying in his arms, and Juuzou bursts into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: who is next to find out they're pregnant?


	8. Rosebud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Akira gets to come home from the hospital today," Hinami reports, Ryouko asleep on her chest. The morning sun shines behind her as she passes Karren a Tupperware full of meat. Karren sniffs it. _Not bad._

"Good?" Hinami asks, just to be sure. Ryouko whimpers and then quiets back down, nestling against Hinami's shoulder.

Karren nods, shutting the door behind Hinami. "Shuu went off with Kaneki, Naki, and Miza to help Amon make sure their place is perfectly clean before Akira gets home."

"Why didn't you join them?" Hinami questions, peering up at her. In some ways Hinami reminds Karren of Chie—only more normal, sweet instead of salty.

Karren shrugs. "I'm tired." A smile breaks over her face. "Plus, Shuu says I spent too much time as a servant."

Hinami laughs. Karren heads back towards the spacious kitchen, shoving the meat into the fridge. A crystal clear vase with two red roses sits in the center of a table. Shuu brings home two new roses every day. A rack of every spice in existence—orange spices from India, red ones from Thailand, black ones—adorns one of the walls, even though they don't use any of the spices. Chie knows how to use them, though, when she comes to visit. "Does that mean you don't have to clean at all?"

"Nah, I still do." Karren adjusts her loose blouse. She sniffs the meat one last time.

 _Mistake_. Her stomach churns, and she bolts for the sink, barely making it in time to heave into it. Even though she barely ate anything yesterday. Her eyes sting. Her shoulders tremble as she clutches the counter.

"Here." Ryouko wails in the background. Hinami rubs the baby's back, holding out paper towel for Karren.

"Thanks," she mumbles, turning the sink and the garbage disposal on. She wets the towel and wipes her lips. _Ugh_.

"Is the meat bad?" Hinami ventures. Notes of suspicion bleed into her voice. Ryouko quiets down. "Ayato and Yomo picked it up last night."

"I don't know," Karren says. It's probably fine, and she knows it. She tries to remember the salty aroma she picked up when Hinami first brought it over. Her stomach still churns, but now she can only gag, bile shooting up her throat and nothing falling out.

"How long has this been going on?" Hinami wants to know.

"On and off," Karren mumbles, her heart thumping in her chest. "The past three days." She closes her eyes.

Ryouko cries again. Karren listens to the rustles of Hinami's hand sliding up and down the soft fabric of Ryouko's dress. She doesn't have to say anything.

"I want to be sure. Before I tell Shuu."

"Have you been trying?"

"Not exactly." They'd discussed waiting a few years. Although they haven't been overly cautious, either. Shuu is just as likely to come home starving as he is to come home and start stripping before he's even in the door.

And every time, Karren's chest flutters. Because she still can't believe he loves her, he sees her as Karren, and he wants her. And she's still not sure she deserves it, or that Mirumo is thrilled with how this has worked out.

"Have you taken a test?"

Karren shakes her head. "Kimi's busy with Mie."

"She'd make time," Hinami points out.

Karren bites her lip. The truth is, she's still learning how to interact with humans. And re-orient how she acts around certain ones, like Chie.

"Well, Ayato bought me some tests in a pharmacy," Hinami says. "Three kinds of tests, actually. I can get you one. If you want to be sure, it's the best way."

The image of Ayato and Hinami clustered in a bathroom, waiting with bated breath for the results of a test, makes Karren laugh.

Ryouko quiets down. Karren nods at her. "She's a good baby." She remembers her mother, when Karren was only about four, saying that Karren screamed and screamed for hours with no comfort. And yet, despite everything, her brothers loved her enough to sacrifice their lives for her.

"She is," Hinami coos, kissing her daughter's thick hair. "Well? Do you want me to get you one?"

Karren nods. She fumbles in her pocket and pulls out some money, stuffing it into Hinami's hand.

"Be back soon," Hinami promises.

 _I should be more involved in Goat_ , Karren thinks. If she is pregnant, Akira and Kimi will probably try to befriend her. And if Hinami and Akira can be friends after all their history, surely Akira and Karren can be. And even though they have Kaneki over often, Karren's still wary of him. Not because she's jealous—Shuu's never given her a reason to be since the day he first kissed her—but because she worries he hasn't forgiven her.

_Maybe this baby can be a start to that._

_If_ she's pregnant.

Hinami arrives back within a half hour, a plastic shopping bag in her hand this time. "I bought two kinds. I think the third is unnecessary. Also, Ryouko's getting cranky—do you mind if I lay her down on the floor for a nap?"

Karren shakes her head, taking the bag. It crinkles. "There are blankets in the cabinet right upstairs—make sure she's comfortable."

"Thanks, Flower Queen." Hinami's taken to calling her the _Flower Queen_ , since Shuu is _Flower Man_ to her.

Karren ducks into the bathroom. The nausea's abated, but now anxiety grips her lungs and throat with its sticky fingers. She paces along the marble floors of the luxurious room, pausing to peer in the elaborately carved mirror. And checks the test, even though she shouldn't. And checks it again. _Argh!_ Karren splashes water on her face. _Don't look. Don't look. Don't look._

When her phone dings and both tests say the same result, Karren flings the door open. Hinami crouches in front of one of their leather sofas, Ryouko lying on her side on top of a fluffy brown and white blanket. The kagune-patterned blanket Juuzou made for them rests on top of the baby. Juuzou make a donut-inspired one for Amon and Akira.

Hinami raises her eyebrows.

"Positive," Karren says, and then her knees buckle and she crumples onto the couch, covering her face with her hands and sobbing.

"Oh, Karren," says Hinami, her hand landing on Karren's shoulder. "Are you—I'm sure Shuu will be supportive—it's—"

"I'm _happy,"_ Karren ekes out. _I'm not crying because I'm sad_.

_I'm so, so happy. Our family will continue and—the baby will have some of Shuu's blood, and some of mine—_

Hinami bursts into laughter. " _Good_."

* * *

Shuu swings the door open to his apartment. The aroma of fresh meat tickles his nose. He exhales, dropping his suit jacket on a hook on the wall.

" _Only you would wear a suit to clean a house," complained Amon._

 _We should wait until dark to eat,_ Shuu decides. But that doesn't stop him from sauntering into their kitchen, the one that only gets used when Kaneki comes to visit. He draws out the two red roses he has his father's servants give him every day and reaches to remove the old ones. Thorns nick at his skin and he doesn't mind.

A small rosebud sits in-between the older roses. Shuu frowns. _This is new._ "Picking roses yourself?" he calls, tossing out the older ones. The bud can stay, he decides. It's a cute look.

Arms wrap around him from behind, and Shuu groans, leaning back into Karren's embrace. Her breath tickles his ears. "I have a surprise."

"Oh really?" Shuu teases, his hands groping behind him. "What is your surprise, _ma chère?_ The baby rose is nice."

Her lips close around his ear, her teeth scraping the edge. She pulls back. "I'm glad you think so, because I'm pregnant."

 _Three roses—the bud_ —Shuu whirls around, grasping Karren and covering her mouth with his. His fingers dig through her hair, and he presses deeper into her. Tears bead in his eyes. _Karren's—my—_

"You're happy?" she gasps as she breaks away.

 _Happy?_ "No, he says. "That's such an unconvincing word, Karren. I'm—ecstatic. Overjoyed! _Felicissimo!"_ He picks her up, whirling her around. The pots and pans they never use, the ones that hang from above the stove, go flying. _I'm going to have a baby._ He can't deny how cute Ryouko, Mie, and Seidou are. No doubt their baby will be even cuter. His lips find her forehead as he sets her down, and then he drops to his knees, pressing his ear against her stomach. "Do you think he or she can hear me?"

"Supposedly they can hear before they're born," Karren admits. "I think it's too early though."

"How early?"

"I don't know. I think seven weeks?"

Shuu pushes her shirt up, balling the fabric in his fists. He kisses her navel. " _Ich liebe dich_." He cranes his neck, hair falling back from his face. He's shaking now. He can only see Karren's face, that look of surprise she always wears when he says he loves her, when he shows he likes her. " _Ich liebe dich_ , too." _Please don't have any doubts. You've having my baby._ He lets go of the silk and reaches up for her, and she lowers her face so that he can hold her cheekbones in his hand. "We have to teach our baby to live with their head held high. And also to only eat already dead humans, so significantly less fun, but—"

Karren laughs. " _Je t'aime_." Her voice cracks. And then she gulps and covers her mouth, breaking away from him.

 _She's never done that before_. "Karren?"

The sound of retching echoes from the bathroom. Shuu races in there.

"I haven't eaten anything so I can't get sick," Karren mumbles, violet hair hanging in strings over her eyes. She swallows and then leans forward again, moaning. "Hinami—says it's—normal."

"Of course it is," Shuu assures her, dropping down beside her. Tears fill his eyes. "But I hate seeing you sick—maybe there's a medicine we can try—you shouldn't have to be sick alone—I should be sick, too—"

"Shuu," Karren croaks. "It's okay. I'm— _fine_ with being sick, if it means our baby's okay."

He snorts, massaging her shoulders as she gags again. It still hurts to watch her suffer, like he's being punched in the chest.

Shuu carries her to their room afterwards, urging her to rest. And then he waits until she wakes up around one in the morning to eat, and Karren manages to eat a little bit without being nauseated, and then she decides to sleep again.

"Karren?" he asks, pulling the covers over her.

"Yeah?" She cracks an eye open.

"You said Hinami knows, but who else?"

"No one… I don't think Hinami will tell, either," Karren adds sleepily.

"Can I tell Goat? Or do you want to do it together? Obviously we'll tell my dad together," he assures her. But he's bursting. _I'm going to be a father!_ He wants to throw open the windows and scream it to the undeserving world.

"You can tell them," Karren murmurs. "I don't mind."

He plants his lips on her forehead and bounces out of the room, pulling out his phone.

"Congratulations!" Hinami calls, clearly still awake thanks to Ryouko. "You're going to be a wonderful dad, Tsukiyama!"

"Let me guess," Ayato says dryly. "She has to comfort _you_ even though she's the one puking."

" _What?"_ shrieks Naki. "You? Tsukiyama!"

Mie screams in the background when Nishiki answers. "Is Mie alright?" Tsukiyama asks.

"Colic's probably worse for us than it is for her," Nishiki answers. "What's up?"

"Karren and I are having a baby in seven months, one week."

Nishiki cackles as Mie's shrieks reach a new crescendo, drowning out Kimi's lullaby.

"Tsukiyama?" Touka manages. "What—time is it?"

"Two in the morning," Shuu reports. "I have important news, Touka-chan. Where's Kaneki?"

"Awake," comes a groggy voice in the background. "Is something wrong? Is Furuta—"

"Karren's pregnant!" Shuu shrieks.

"What?" Touka asks.

"Really?" asks Kaneki.

"I knew it!" screams Chie when he calls her. "I want to take as many photos as I can of your baby and the pregnancy—"

"Of course," Shuu agrees.

"Tell Karren I send my congratulations."

"Will do." He calls Amon and Akira next.

"Tsukiyama," Amon greets him. "Akira got Seidou to sleep approximately twenty minutes ago, so if you ever call me at this time again, or if he wakes up, I promise I will eat you."

"I do taste good," Shuu retorts. "As I'm well aware. But we'll be in your shoes soon. Not literally; I have better taste than that. But we're pregnant."

" _What?"_ Amon yelps, and an infant cries in the background, and he hangs up cursing.

"Oh great," groans Juuzou.

"Hooray!" shrieks Saiko.

"Congratulations. Now get some sleep," Urie tells him.

"Tell Mutsuki?"

"Sure thing." Urie sounds like he's already back asleep as he hangs up.

"Great," says Kurona. In the background Shuu hears Takizawa mumbling.

"Is Takizawa over your place or are you over his?"

"None of your business." _Click_.

"Your child is going to be incredibly spoiled in the very best way," Hide predicts.

"Wow," says Yomo.

"Congrats," Uta mumbles.

"What is with everyone having kids?" complains Hirako.

"Tell your own kids for me?" Shuu requests. 0 Squad are pretty much Hirako's kids.

"They're probably still awake, so sure."

Irimi laughs and congratulates him, and Koma tells him to take care of Karren.

 _All done for now,_ Shuu decides when Koma hangs up. He yawns and stretches. When he crawls under the covers, Karren's breaths come even and deep. He lets his hand wander, resting it against her belly and resting his head against her chest.

* * *

Karren wakes first, to light spilling across the room and covering the red quilt with sun. She strokes Shuu's hair, her dinner staying in her stomach. For now.

He stirs, chin pressing her sternum as he looks up at her. "I called everyone last night."

Karren smirks. "How'd they react?"

"Mostly disturbed because of the hour, but happy for us." Shuu props himself up on his elbow. "We should go tell my dad this morning. Before someone lets it slip."

Karren nods, but her mouth feels dry. She sits up and pulls her knees to her chest.

"Don't worry," Shuu assures her, taking her hands. His hair's rumpled from sleep, and his smile's lazy with drowsiness. She loves this look. "I promise I'll be with you. You've got nothing to be embarrassed about."

Within an hour, they're dressed and out the door. Shuu holds Karren's hand as they approach the mansion. Karren wears a pair of slacks and a lacy blouse; she still wonders how Mirumo looks at her and what he truly thinks of her relationship with his only son.

"Dad!" Shuu sings as they enter through the garden. He points to a white rosebud, nudging Karren. "Glad our little rosebud isn't making you sick yet today."

"Me too," Karren says, a shiver running through her. "Is that your nickname for the baby?"

"I think it's a good one, _liebling_ ," he proclaims, sweeping his arms back. His arm closes around her shoulder as his father appears. "Head high," he whispers in her ear. "Because I'm proud of you, and of us."

 _Of us_. Karren straightens.

"Shuu!" Mirumo strides towards his son, embracing him and then Karren. "Coffee?" he asks as he ushers them into his office. "Any news on your investigation?"

"Not yet," Shuu answers, practically skipping. "I spent yesterday doing the king's bidding, and by that I mean cleaning up Amon's apartment for Akira and their baby."

Mirumo snorts as he opens the door to his office. "You could have asked for a few servants to help."

"Could have," Shuu agrees. "It was rather interesting." He drops onto a leather chair. Karren sits next to him. A servant Karren doesn't recognize sweeps in, a tray with three cups of coffee in her hand. The smell makes Karren queasy.

Shuu catches her expression and waves his hand. "Actually, none of us will be having coffee. Enjoy it yourself."

Mirumo's brows pinch as the servant nods and thanks him.

"Dad," Shuu says, leaning forward. The servant closes the door, and Karren inhales the sweet, coffee-free air. "We have news for you." His gaze snaps towards Karren, as if asking if she wants to tell.

She stiffens her shoulders. She doesn't even need to shake her head.

"Is everything okay?" asks Mirumo. "Shuu, if you need anything, or Karren, if you need anything, I'm—"

 _You mentioned me_. Karren's shoulders relax. A smile spreads across her face.

"Well, as a matter of fact, _mon père_ , we do," Shuu says, a gleam in his eyes. He winks at Karren. "We need you to be the best grandfather in Tokyo."

Mirumo freezes. His eyes dart back and forth between Shuu and Karren. "I—you're—"

"I'm pregnant," Karren confirms. Her hands tighten into fists.

Mirumo throws his head back and laughs.

"I promised you the Tsukiyama family would live on," Shuu says. "Guess it was time I made good on that promise."

Mirumo springs to his feet, and instead of running to Shuu, he runs to Karren and grabs her hands. "Congratulations." His eyes are wet, she notes. "I'm—I couldn't be happier—for both of you."

Karren melts. "Thank you," she whispers.

Shuu beams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Karren gets a visit from a surprising new friend, who may have more in common with her than either of them think.


	9. High Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

The first snowflakes of the year fall to the ground. Tooru lingers outside the house, the skin on his fingers stiffening. He told Urie he's meeting with Kaneki and told Kaneki he's talking to Saiko, which he'll do eventually. And he did talk to Kaneki, if only to say that he was meeting with Saiko. _None of it was technically a lie._

He makes it to the door and clutches his coat, wringing it between his hands. _Knock. Knock. Why is it so hard to knock?_

The door to the house flies open. Chie screams—or at least it sounds like Chie. A bouquet of roses obscures Chie's face.

"What's happening?" demands Tsukiyama, racing out. "Chie!" He skids to a stop when he sees Tooru.

"I was just about to knock," Tooru offers weakly.

"No problem. Come in, come in," Shuu invites him, waving his arm. "Chie and I are just—doing a little cleaning—"

Roses, lilies, lilacs, orchids, and more bloom from every corner in the house, hang from every chandelier. The scent's overpowering. Tooru covers his nose.

"It's too much for Karren and Rosebud," Tsukiyama explains. "So Chie's helping me remove some of them."

 _Can't imagine how this would be too much_. Tooru nods and sneezes into his hands.

" _Gesundheit!"_ Tsukiyama claps Tooru on the shoulder before rushing to grab a bouquet of pink tulips. "I'll be back in a minute."

Karren appears from upstairs, peering over the balcony and down into the entryway. Tooru still wants to shrink at the sight of the ghoul, even though Karren's apologized for what happened during the auction. "Hi."

"Hi," Tooru says, tugging at his coat. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Karren responds, heading down the stairs. "But happy." She's not showing yet, Tooru notes.

"Are you still getting sick?" Tooru questions.

"Not the past week," Karren says with a grimace. "There might be hope."

Tooru nods. His pulse beats too fast.

"I'm not going to eat you," Karren snaps, adjusting her sweater.

"I didn't think you were," Tooru retorts.

Karren raises her eyebrows. "Why are you here?"

"I—Kaneki told me to come by and ask if you'll host another Christmas get-together," Tooru blurts out.

"I'm pretty sure he texted Shuu about that an hour ago," Karren says, leaning back against the railing. Chie scuttles back in, grabbing a pot of orchids. "Thanks, Chie."

Chie grins at her.

"I once threatened to kill her too," Karren remarks. "I was a fool."

 _Oh_. Tooru blinks. "I just—needed to take a walk. I told Kaneki I'd ask."

Karren snorts. "So why did you volunteer?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Tooru says. "Amon brought Seidou in to the office today and Juuzou was playing with him. It's kind of—funny—that there are so many people in Goat having babies all of a sudden."

"There was a baby boom in certain countries after the Second World War, too." Karren shrugs.

Tooru's cheeks flush. A yawn scrabbles up his throat. "I just—I do want to put the past behind us," he blurts out. _I really can't hold that against you. Especially given what Kaneki and Urie don't hold against me_.

"Well," says Karren. "It's your choice."

"Huh?"

"If you're not ready to move on, even if other people are, it's your right." Karren stares at him, pink eyes defiant.

Tooru holds out his hand. _I really am_.

A smile creeps across Karren's face as she shakes Tooru's hand.

"Have you had an ultrasound with Kimi yet?" Tooru asks.

"Last week," Karren confirms. She pulls out a sonogram image. "Still tiny. I haven't felt Rosebud moving yet."

"Why Rosebud?" Tooru wonders.

"Shuu's nickname." Karren tucks her hair behind her ears. "Because of my family name, and his favorite flower. Kimi's all excited because now there's another ghoul pregnancy for her to study."

"Can you still—eat?" Tooru ventures. "Like do you have to eat more often, or less, and if you're not eating as often do you still get sick?"

"So far sometimes more, sometimes less, and unfortunately yes, but not the past week." Karren narrows her eyes. "And I hate coffee now, which Kimi says should pass, which is good, because a part of me misses it even as the smell of it sends me running."

"At least it'll pass," Tooru says.

Karren's gaze sweeps Tooru up and down. "You should see Kimi or stop by a pharmacy. I took one of the home tests."

"Am I showing?" Tooru's hands fly towards his stomach in a panic.

" _No_ ," Karren says. "But it's cute how you're trying to get answers without telling me that you think you're pregnant."

Tooru stares at the wooden floor.

"I don't mean that in a bad way," Karren says quickly.

"It's been two months," whispers Tooru. "It has to be eight weeks—I haven't been sick, but I've been tired, and I didn't notice I missed—my period—for so long because I don't want to get it anyways." Urie hasn't brought it up, so he clearly didn't notice when Tooru skipped. He might now, though, because he should be menstruating this week and he's not.

"Can relate to that," Karren remarks.

"It's not planned," Tooru says. "And—we were told—when we became Quinx that we might not be able to have children. And I don't know if it'll be a Quinx or a ghoul or a part-ghoul or a human, and with my body the way it is—" _And my mind—_

_I'm scared._

"Kimi did it with Mie," Karren tells him, facing him with what looks like actual concern in her eyes. "Call her. I'm sure she can help you monitor the pregnancy, and tell you what to eat. If you want the baby."

Tooru sniffles. "I—do." But he's also scared.

But he wants to have it. He thinks of Urie, of his face when he's under Tooru or over Tooru, of the way he says Tooru's name when he has a nightmare, of the way he tells Tooru about conversations he's had with Tooru's other personality when that appears. He doesn't hate either side of Tooru. _I hope our baby takes after you._

"I'll call Kimi for you," Karren offers.

Tooru snorts. "I'll do it, but thanks."

"You're welcome." Karren frowns. "So we're probably about a month and a half apart. Looks like we'll have to get along."

Tooru grins.

By the time he leaves their house, hope burgeons. He sends Kimi a text asking to meet at the lab and for Kimi not to tell anyone.

 _YOU TOO? ? ?_ Kimi responds.

* * *

"Yup, you're eight weeks," Kimi confirms. "Your hCG levels are on the higher end of normal, but they are normal." She bites her lip. "I think you would have already miscarried if your child wasn't compatible with your body, but I can't say for sure."

Tooru nods.

"So we can monitor you weekly, if you want to be cautious," Kimi says. "We should try to make sure your RC count stays around where it is now, because again, it seems like it's compatible with your body. If your RC count increases or decreases, we can take steps to ensure that it doesn't go any higher or lower. That should help you be able to carry the baby to term."

"No one's ever had a baby like this, have they?" Tooru asks. "Two quinxes. Will our kid be a half-ghoul? Or half or fully human?"

"I—have no idea," Kimi admits. She looks hopeful.

"You can use me in your study," Tooru acquiesces, swinging his legs.

Kimi laughs. "Good. But I wouldn't worry, Mutsuki. I doubt it's a fully human child or you likely wouldn't be pregnant right now. Having a half-ghoul as a baby isn't any different than I imagine having a full ghoul baby is, or a human baby. The only difference is what they take as food. So far Mie needs to eat like a ghoul, but when she gets older maybe science will have advanced."

"Hopefully," says Tooru. "You did manage to stop our rapid aging, after all."

Kimi shrugs. "And I don't mind in the meantime. But I would like her to be able to taste things like cake." Kimi shrugs. "But if she doesn't want to, Nishiki and I agreed that we won't force her."

Tooru nods. "You're a great mom."

Kimi clasps her hands together. "I'm not perfect, but I try. You won't be a perfect parent, either, but I think you'll be a good one, Mutsuki."

 _Maybe_.

"Um—" comes a voice from behind them. Kimi whirls around, and Tooru's heart leaps to his throat.

Aura stands there, looking pale as a ghost.

"Keep your mouth shut until Mutsuki and Urie decide to tell people, Shinsanpei," Kimi orders. "Just like Nishiki and I kept it secret for awhile, they might want to, too."

"I'm used to keeping Mutsuki's secrets." Aura covers his ears. "I didn't hear a thing."

Tooru cringes. An image of his father floats in front of his vision, and he blinks it away. "Thanks, Aura."

"Congratulations," he tells him, but as per usual, his hair obscures his eyes, so Tooru can't see what he's really thinking. Thankfully, Kimi doesn't ask about what memories Aura's referring to, and Tooru stumbles out. The snow's started to fall harder, and Tooru shivers. The sidewalk is slick, and he has to skate along, sliding one foot at a time.

_Am I fit to raise a child?_

_I'm mentally ill. Urie knew what he was getting when he signed those papers, but this baby doesn't have a choice._

He thinks of his father again, and he can't breathe. Phantom water shoots up his nostrils as he makes his way to :re to meet Saiko. Each breath sits in his throat like a frozen rock before it slow sinks into his lungs, bruising along the way.

_What if I hurt the baby? Or pass my mental illness on to them?_

Tooru's feet slide out from under him right in front of :re, and he slams into the sidewalk. His knee throbs, and the ice seeping through his pants feels fitting.

_I'm so stupid._

_But I really want him or her._

_I'm so selfish._ Tears leak from his eyes, dropping down his cheeks. _Can't I try? Is it so wrong to want to try?_

_I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be my old self._

_I want you._

The door to the coffee shop clangs open. "Mutsuki!"

He looks up to see Touka crouching next to him. "Damn, it's slippery!"

Tooru nods.

"Are you okay?" Touka reaches for him. "Can you get up?"

"Mucchan!" yelps Saiko, appearing wearing a hot chocolate mustache. "Are you hurt?"

Touka helps him up. His knee aches when he puts weight on it. Tooru sucks in his breath as Saiko grabs him, pulling him into :re.

"I called Urie," says Hsiao, getting up from her table.

 _Shit_.

* * *

"Tooru what?" Urie yells into his phone. Kaneki leaps to his feet. Supposedly Tooru only met with Kaneki for about five minutes today, and only to tell him he was meeting with Saiko. Except now Hsiao's saying Tooru just showed up at :re. "I'm on my way."

"What happened?" Kaneki cries out.

"Tooru might've sprained his knee." _A sprained knee's not too bad,_ Urie reminds himself.

"It will heal probably by the time you get there," Juuzou calls.

"Still." Urie shoves his arms into his coat. Tooru hasn't seemed right the past week—worried, maybe. Urie suspects the nightmares are starting up again, and he's desperate. _I don't know how to help him._

" _He just needs to know we love him, and he's not alone," Saiko said once. "Otherwise there isn't much we can do."_

Which is true, but guilt still gnaws at Urie. He almost slips himself on the sidewalk. _Geez!_

"Urie!" Kaneki calls, jogging after him. His feet fly out and Kaneki lands on his face.

"Great," Urie groans, stumbling back to help Kaneki up. Blood streams from his nose. It's definitely broken, but it'll heal.

"Things have been good since you moved in together?" Kaneki asks as they wobble their way down the street.

Urie nods. _Oh right, he doesn't know_. Only Saiko and Shirazu know, but Urie forgets sometimes. He almost called Tooru his husband the other day and had to cough to cover it up.

And things _have_ been good—better than Urie dreamed—up until the past week.

"I'm so happy to hear that," Kaneki says, looking at Urie, and a strange pride flickers in Urie, the kind of pride he used to feel when his father praised him.

By the time they reach :re, Tooru's knee has, indeed, healed, and he's embarrassed about the fuss. Urie wraps him in his arms. Tooru's stiff.

When they head home, Urie insists on taking the bus. He's not risking another fall.

"I went to see Karren today," Tooru says finally.

"Really?" Urie frowns. He would not have guessed that.

"He said we should be friends. Well, not in so many words." Tooru swallows. "I was thinking that since all of you—well, so many people forgave me, I'd like to move on with her, too."

"That's big of you," Urie tells Tooru. _Your compassion continues to amaze me._

Of course, he knows part of it's been motivated by fear in the past. _Are you afraid right now? Of what?_

Tooru says he's tired and heads to bed soon after they get home. Urie follows, and when he reaches for Tooru, he expects him to flinch away.

But Tooru leans in and rests his head against Urie's shoulder. He feels something wet and realizes Tooru's crying.

Urie strokes Tooru's hair. "I'm here," he whispers. "You aren't alone, Urie Tooru. If you have nightmares, I'll be here when you wake up."

Tooru doesn't answer, but his fingers curl around Urie's waist. Against Urie's bare skin, he feels Tooru's lips pull back into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Karren tries to help Tooru tell Urie while Urie's anxiety grows over the secretive way Tooru's been acting, and Urie recruits Saiko, Shirazu, Juuzou, and Kaneki to help find out what's going on with Tooru.


	10. Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Saiko?" Urie calls. It's now been two weeks since Tooru started acting strange, and now Urie's the one who can't sleep at night, his concerns whirling and tumbling through his mind and landing in tense pockets in his shoulders and in his spine.

"Yes, Urie?" Saiko calls, bouncing over to him. She even sets her phone down. Touka waves as she brews some coffee for what look like new customers.  _Human_  customers.  _Well then._

_People might be coming around after all._

"Here you go," Touka says, serving Urie his usual order. He thanks her and sits down across from Saiko. Shirazu waves as he arrives.

"Hi Mom," Shirazu calls to Touka.

"I'll dump coffee on your face," she threatens, handing him his cup.

Shirazu leaves a generous tip and heads over to sit with Urie and Saiko. "So, what's up, Urie?"

Urie swallows. _I need to say it. I can't ignore it this time._  "I'm worried about Tooru."

Shirazu rolls his eyes. "You're his husband, Urie. Can't you talk to him instead of to us?"

"Did he tell you anything?" Urie presses.

"No," mumbles Shirazu.

_You've noticed, haven't you? The weird way he's been acting, all secretive?_

Saiko gulps her hot chocolate. "I'm worried too."

"It's like he feels like he's alone again, so he's isolating himself," Urie admits.

"Maybe we can try to talk to him," Saiko suggests. "You and Shirazu and me, and maybe Kaneki and Juuzou too—Tooru's close with them."

Urie grits his teeth. Takeomi strides into :re, his arms around Yoriko's waist. He waves at Urie, Shirazu, and Saiko, and, coffee burning his esophagus, Urie waves back. They may have buried the hatchet, or at least Urie has because Takeomi never really thought there was one, but sometimes Urie still feels inadequate.

 _We're not magically healed_ , Urie thinks.  _I'm not, and it's okay that Tooru's not. If he's struggling, I want to be there._

And to do that, he has to take several steps. Urie groans. "Okay."

"Great!" Saiko grabs her phone.

"You'll have to finally tell the others, though," Shirazu says. "About—you know. The fact that you eloped."

"I'm fine with that." No more hiding. He doesn't care what they say—not that he ever did, not about this, but Tooru wanted to keep things quiet and Urie didn't mind. There was so much going on then, with Nishiki and Kimi and Amon and Akira all having kids.

Kaneki and Juuzou agree to meet around lunch. Tooru texts that he's visiting Karren.

"Maybe he's trying to remember something that Karren might know about," Saiko speculates when they meet again. Tears fill her eyes. "Poor Tooru."

"So what exactly has been going on?" Kaneki wants to know as he slides into a booth. He looks enviously at Juuzou's sandwich.

"Well," says Urie, glancing at Shirazu, who grimaces. Juuzou blows bubbles in his soda. "Tooru and I got married a few months ago."

Juuzou hacks, spluttering. He shoves the soda away and gasps for air.

"I'm sorry, what?" asks Kaneki, sitting as straight as a soldier.

"We went to a court," says Urie. "We wanted it low-key. It was the day Akira had Seidou."

"I attended as a witness," Shirazu confirms.

"It was very informal and yet also very sweet," Saiko says with a sigh, sipping another hot chocolate.

"Yes, thank you," Urie snaps.

"Why didn't you tell us?" shrieks Juuzou. "This is—betrayal!"

"Hsiao's going to be pretty mad at me for not telling," Saiko admits.

"You got  _married?"_  Kaneki's eyes pop.

"Yes, keep with the program," retorts Urie.

Kaneki covers his face with his hands.

"What, does it make you feel old?" Urie can't resist asking. Shirazu kicks him under the table. "Ow!"

"I'm happy for you," Kaneki ekes out, lowering his hands. One kakugan glistens. "But I will say this, Urie Kuki: if you mess with Mutsuki—I mean, Tooru—"

"Urie Tooru," Saiko confirms.

"I will mess with you," Kaneki finishes. "Deal?"

"Why would I want to mess with him?" Urie snarls. "I  _love_  him!"

"I know you do," Kaneki says. "I just—I still am in shock. This is shocking."

"It is," agrees Juuzou, biting his straw. "We've been calling Tooru by the wrong name!"

"I have half a mind to disown you," Kaneki moans. "My children are out of control."

"We're not really your kids," Urie snaps.

"Still."

"Bite your tongue," Shirazu tells Urie.

"Tooru's been acting strange," Urie says, twisting his shirt.  _I'm adopting Tooru's habits._ The thought warms him. "I want to—talk to him. Help him. I think he might be having some dissociation again, and that's always terrifying for him—he can't remember what's happened—I think he thinks hanging around with Karren will help because she can keep him in line, or— but if we all let him know that we don't care, or we care because it's upsetting him but we want to be there for him, it might help."

"Do you think he's worried he's hurt someone?" asks Kaneki.

Urie nods. Whenever Tooru remembers his family, or the people he killed as a ghoul, he gets a strange look of disgust on his face: his lips pull back, and his eyes widen, his brows pinch. He's been wearing that look nonstop the past week.

"We'll help you," Kaneki vows. "We'll show Tooru he's not alone."

* * *

"You're here again."

Tooru peers up from where he's seated on the plush couch. Tsukiyama leans against the wall, his purple locks glinting against his cheekbones. Karren raises her eyebrows.

"Kaneki said he wanted to talk to you about something," Tsukiyama says. "How're you feeling, Karren?"

"Still no nausea today," Karren reports. "Rosebud might not kill me after all."

Tsukiyama's jaw drops. "You better not die!  _Ma chère!_  Whatever would I do?"

"Be a single father," Karren teases.

Tsukiyama looks almost as if he's about to cry at the thought of Karren dying. She leaps to her feet and pulls him close, her lips covering his.

"I'll get going," Tooru says, scrambling up.

 _Tell him soon,_  Karren advised.

 _I'm just so scared._ Not of Urie's reaction. Of himself.

 _I can help you,_ she offered.

"Do you want me to walk you back?" Karren prompts, pulling back. Tsukiyama frowns, his arms around Karren's waist.

"It's okay," says Tooru.

"Okay, I'm coming," decides Karren.

Tsukiyama's eyes narrow. "Are you pregnant?"

Tooru flushes.  _Do you think I'm—_

"Our child will have a built-in best friend, then," Tsukiyama declares. "Though we'll have to teach Rosebud not to chew on his or her friends. I'll get our coats, Karren."

 _You're coming too?_  Tooru blanches.

"Shuu, he hasn't told anyone else yet, besides Kimi, and including his husband," Karren calls. "Aura doesn't count," she adds under her breath.

Tooru smirks. "I need to be the one to tell him," he says.

Tsukiyama nods as he hands Karren her coat and wraps her scarf around her neck for her. "Well, Karren and I are happy for you. And Rosebud is too, or will be one day when he or she realizes they have a friend. So I'm sure Urie will be in a panicked tense ball of anxiety for the next—seven or eight months—but happy underneath."

Karren shrugs. "Pretty much."

Tooru actually laughs. "Seven months."

The cold air chafes at his nose as they hurry along. He notices Karren's hand interlaced with Tsukiyama and wonders if Tsukiyama plans on buying Karren a certain piece of diamond jewelry for Christmas. Tooru would bet money on it, and also on the fact that it'll likely be as big as Karren's finger. When they get to the apartment Tooru shares with Urie, his heart picks up pace.

"Breathe," Karren orders. "But just so you know, we won't say anything for you." She elbows Shuu to reinforce that point. He nods.

Tooru turns the keys, but the door's already unlocked. His heart pounds.

"Wow," Tsukiyama remarks as the three of them enter. Urie, Kaneki, and Saiko sit on their secondhand couch; Juuzou sprawls on their armchair, kicking his legs up. Shirazu leans against the wall. Several empty coffee cups sit on the table. Karren's nose wrinkles. "Party at the Uries'."

"Um—" Tooru begins, but Kaneki interrupts.

"Urie told us you got married, M—Tooru." He smiles at him. "Congratulations. And also—"

"Don't start," Shirazu snaps.

"I'm insulted you didn't invite me, Tooru," calls Juuzou.

Urie squeezes his knees, his mouth disappearing into a flat line as he looks at the floor. Tooru's heart sinks. He grips his coat, fingers brushing the sweater over his stomach. "S-sorry."

"It's fine," chirps Saiko.

" _You_  were invited," Juuzou points out, flopping back over and straightening up. "But, in all seriousness, Tooru, we want to talk to you."

Karren's eyes widen as she looks at Tooru.

 _They know? How do they know? Did Aura say something, or Kimi?_  Tooru nods.  _Who's going to say it_? Silence reigns. The clock ticks and tocks, each second a lash against Tooru's scarred back. His eyes latch onto his husband.  _He's got to be hurt I waited to tell him._  "Urie—I'm sorry I—"

"Don't be sorry," Urie interrupts, getting to his feet. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Tooru. It's not your fault."

_Fault?_

_So you're not happy?_

_You have the same worries I do, don't you_?

"I'm glad Karren can help you," adds Urie. "But Tooru, I meant it when I married you—" He gulps, face turning purple. "Your problems are my problems, and mine are yours too, so—"

"You're not alone," Shirazu interrupts. "We all want to help you."

 _Oh_. Tooru blinks.

"When you dissociate, we don't think of you are someone else, as someone disgusting," Kaneki says. "No matter what you've done."

"You matter more to us than Goat," says Juuzou.

 _Wait—what?_  Tooru feels as if hands are wrapping around his neck. "I—"

"If you dissociated and did something, Tooru, you can tell me," Urie blurts out. "There's nothing that would make me stop loving you—" He looks so self-conscious.

Tsukiyama suddenly cringes.

 _You think I'm_ —"What is this?" Tooru asks, voice trembling.

"Friends who care," says Saiko, smiling gently.

"You think I've been losing it?" Tooru cries out.  _You won't think I'm fit to carry a kid, will you? I'm hopeless!_ Anger and fear, sadness and repulsion streak through him, irrational and disorienting.

"I just—" Urie starts. "I can tell you've been keeping something from me—"

"Oh shit," mutters Karren.

"Is this an honest-to-goodness kindhearted but misguided intervention?" demands Tsukiyama. He pushes his hair back from his forehead.

" _Misguided?"_  Kaneki scowls.

"Yes, I've been keeping something from you, Kuki!" Tooru shouts. The words bubble inside of him, shame and terror searing his chest. "But not—that! I haven't dissociated—I don't think—" He looks at Karren, who nods at him. "I'm  _pregnant!"_

The words sling through the air. Saiko gasps. Juuzou's jaw plummets open. Shirazu clutches the armrest on Juuzou's chair to keep from toppling over. Kaneki claps his hands to his face, and Urie—Urie freezes.

Tooru turns and runs, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

* * *

_Pregnant?_

_With a baby?_

"We've been sharing pregnancy woes," Karren explains. Kaneki looks frozen, except for his eyes, which latch on to Urie.

 _With_  my  _baby?_

"How could you not know?" Shirazu shrieks, turning to Urie.

"I feel  _terrible!"_  cries Saiko.

 _I feel like scum_. Urie stares at the closed door.  _I am truly the worst husband ever._

_How did this even happen?_

"Aren't you going to move, Oreo Cookie?" asks Tsukiyama, flicking his hair.

"Tsukiyama!" complains Saiko as Urie's feet spur him forwards, barreling into the bedroom. The door slams again.

Tooru lies huddled on the bed, curled into a fetal position with his face buried in a pillow. His shoulders tremble. His left leg twitches, and Urie's heart shatters.

"I'm sorry," he croaks.

Tooru sniffles. "What for? I'm the one who—I didn't tell you—I was— _scared_ —"

Urie climbs onto the bed, lying down next to Tooru. His husband rolls over to face him, tears sticky on his face. Green strands of hair latch onto his cheeks. He squeezes his eyes shut, and Urie realizes what Tooru's afraid of.  _Exactly what I just accused you of._

 _I love you._  Urie kisses his closed eyes, and Tooru bites back a laugh. "I'm so—" He stops herself.

"Are you sure?" Urie asks him, forehead resting against Tooru's. "Do you want to do this?"  _Are you comfortable looking this much like a woman?_

"I  _want_  your baby, Kuki," Tooru snaps. Fire sizzles in his voice. " _My_  baby. But I'm so—I'm the worst candidate for parenthood."

"No, Takeomi exists."

"Oh God, not again." Tooru scowls at him. "He'd be better than me."

"Well, there's no person  _I'd_  rather raise a kid with."

"Really?" Tooru peers up at him. "You want this baby?"

"Yeah, but I'm—you know. Feeling similarly."  _Terrified_.

"I'm nine weeks," Tooru says. "Kimi knows."

 _Nine weeks_. "How long have you known?"

"One week for certain, three if you count the two I was suspicious."

Urie reaches out for Tooru, hands pressing against Tooru's stomach. "Neither of us is gonna be perfect, but you're not allowed to quote me on that."

Tooru laughs. "I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."

"They were valid conclusions, though." Tooru swallows. "Kimi says it's possible hormones could mess with my mind, although also possible they won't."

"I'll still be here."

"I love you," Tooru whispers. Urie's face hovers above his. He puts his thumb over Tooru's lips, and Tooru closes his mouth over it. Urie sucks in his breath. His lungs quiver.

Tooru lets him go. "We should get back out there before they think we're getting it on."

Urie groans, his stomach a bundle of knots. "Tsukiyama probably has his ear pressed against the door."

Tooru blanches and scrambles for the knob. Urie rushes after him. They both fling it open to find Tsukiyama sitting next to Kaneki on the couch, Karren on his lap. Saiko wipes at her eyes as Shirazu and Juuzou whisper to each other.

"Well?" asks Tsukiyama.

"We're having a kid a month after you and Karren, Tsukiyama," Urie announces, lifting Tooru's hand.

"Godmother! Calling it!" Saiko shouts, leaping to her feet. She throws her arms around Tooru, squealing. Kaneki grins at Urie, giving him a thumbs-up.

_I fucked up and no one hates me for it. Huh._

"This is so exciting," Juuzou proclaims, flexing his hands. "Your baby will be really interesting for Kimi to study."

Urie glares at him.

"Can I be godfather?" he asks. "Kaneki's Gramps, I presume."

"We'll see," says Urie, Tooru's hand still warm in his.

"No way!" cries Shirazu. "That's my job."

"I'll be there constantly for you, Tooru," Juuzou insists.

"Only if you can take us making out all the time," Urie retorts.

Juuzou shrugs. "Sure. I don't mind."

Urie freezes.  _That was not the response I anticipated._

"Well," Tooru says. "Technically I've done worse than that in public, so." His fingers grip Urie's chin, and he tilts Urie's face down to meet his lips. Urie opens his mouth.

"Nice," Karren comments.

"Going home," Kaneki says quickly.

Urie flips them off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Karren and Tooru have sonograms... one of which contains a double surprise.


	11. Double Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

"How do these look?" Chie chirps, spreading out the dozens and dozens of maternity photos she took on the table. Karren's hands rest on her stomach, now fully protruding as she enters her fifth month.

"I like the one with the rose over Rosebud," Shuu muses, pointing to a photo of a rose petals on Karren's stomach. "What do you think, Karren?"

"It's nice," Karren agrees. The baby stirs and she leans over.

"Is Rosebud awake?" Shuu asks, hands flying out. Karren takes his wrist and guides his band over. The engagement ring Shuu gave her for Christmas while he played the piano and sang a song he wrote to ask her to marry him glistens on her finger.

The first time they felt Rosebud wriggle, Karren woke up in the middle of the night and thought for a moment something was wrong with her—she'd eaten too much or too fast—and then she realized what was happening and shook Shuu awake. He cried, tears leaking onto the then barely-present bump.

"I like this one," Karren says, gesturing to one of her and Shuu kissing, the sunset casting them in silhouette, Shuu's hands on her stomach and a rose between them.

"Me too," Chie agrees. "I had like fifty photos from that make-out session."

Shuu checks his watch. "We're supposed to meet Kimi in an hour." For their ultrasound.

 _We'll find out whether it's a boy or a girl._  Although Karren knows it's not that simple.

"I'll edit and print more copies," Chie calls as Shuu springs up from the couch, running to get Karren's coat.

"Thanks, Chie," Karren says softly.

Chie grins up at her.

 _Are we friends now?_  Karren wonders. Her phone buzzes. Tooru's texted her  _good luck_.

"You and Shuu are so intense," Chie says as she rearranges the photos, as if she's looking to concoct a perfect collage. "You energize each other and calm each other down too. Seeing you together is exciting. It makes me happy."

Karren nods, a lump in her throat.

"I asked my dad to meet us there," Shuu says as they leave the house. The wind whips through the air, cold and sharp as a knife. "If that's okay."

"Of course it is." Karren links her hand with his.

Kimi greets them with a beaming smile when they enter her office—a new and shining space, a real office at a real clinic, instead of the dingy hospital that, as ghouls, they had to enter the back entrance to visit. Light pours through the windows, filtered by pastel lavender curtains with white rattles printed on them.

_People really are coming around. Slowly._

Mirumo rises from where he sits in a red cushioned chair. "How are you feeling, Karren?"

"Good," she answers honestly. "Tired a bit, though."

Shuu frowns as if he knows she's not being completely truthful. Being pregnant is hard. But she's not complaining.  _It's a privilege._  She lies down on the table, heart thumping as if she's nervous, but she shouldn't be.

"Ready?" Kimi asks, squirting the jelly onto her hand. It's cold, and Karren bites her lip as Kimi spreads it on her belly.

"How's Mie?" asks Shuu.

"Finally sleeping through the night as of last week." Kimi snorts. "Nishiki and I both woke up and panicked that something had happened overnight and went rushing into her room, but she was still asleep at six in the morning."

"Hinami says Ryouko's started crawling," Shuu reports.

Kimi shudders. "That'll be Mie soon. It's almost scary."

"Why?" asks Karren, noticing several new purple stretch marks on her stomach.

"Because when the older they get, the less you can protect them," Mirumo supplies. His eyes find Shuu, and Shuu flushes.

 _He's remembering you as the Gourmet, isn't he?_  Karren squeezes Shuu's hand.

"Exactly," Kimi confirms, smiling at him. She presses the wand into Karren's stomach. An image appears on the screen, ghostlike and yet still real. Karren swallows.

"Growing normally," Kimi reports, a grin sliding over her face. "Your  _daughter_  looks perfectly healthy."

"Daughter?" Shuu gasps, leaning forward.

"Yup."

 _Daughter._  "So, Rosebud's a girl," Karren says.  _My daughter._

She wonders what her parents thought of her, if they even got an ultrasound. Did her dad cry? Did her mother feel the same way she felt, like there's a balloon expanding in her chest and she can't quite breathe, but she's also floating away, towards the clouds and the sun?

Tears fill Shuu's eyes. " _Perfecto_." His hands flutter through the air, and then he curls one of them, pressing the fist against his mouth as if he can't quite talk.

Mirumo smiles. "I can't wait to meet my granddaughter."

 _You'll never have to hide who you are_ , Karren promises her daughter.

"I hope she looks like you," Shuu remarks, caressing the bones of Karren's hand.

 _Huh?_  She turns to frown at him. "You're the one who looks like a model."

"I don't care. You're the one whose face makes me happiest to see," Shuu says. "You are Rosebud are the people I love most in the world."

 _Oh_. Karren's eyes sting. She rubs at them.

Kimi offers her a tissue. Her arms shake.  _Why am I crying so much?_

_Damn hormones._

Shuu springs towards her, pulling her up and against his chest. " _Ma chère,_ I'm marrying you. Did you really doubt it?"

"No," she mumbles. "It's just—a nice reminder. And I'm pregnant. Crying's part of the job."

Shuu peers down at her, a gentle smile on his face as if he knows, as if he really knows  _her_.

She clings to him.

"I don't care whom she looks like," Mirumo says. "One parent's my son, and the other's the beautiful woman who saved my son's life and our entire family."

At that, Karren cries harder.

"When we get home I'll massage your ankles," Shuu whispers to her. "I noticed that they're swollen."

"Part of the job," she ekes out.

"Still."

* * *

"Tsukiyama says next month we'll find out whether or not Rosebud's getting a best friend or a husband," Tooru reports, staring at his phone. "Or a wife, Karren's added. I guess that means it's a girl."

Urie snorts. He watches as Takeomi and Yoriko lean across the counter, chatting with Touka.

Tooru rolls his eyes.

Urie squirms. Of course Tooru can read what he's thinking. "What?"

"You're thinking something along the lines of 'at least I'm having a kid before Takeomi,' aren't you?" Tooru pushes his coffee away from him.

"I have a better spouse anyways," Urie responds.

"Yoriko's sweet!"

"So are you, sometimes." Urie winks.

"Not when I'm rolling my eyes at the rivalry you keep trying to forget and yet can never quite let die," Tooru says, leaning across the table.

"You love me anyways."

Tooru finishes his coffee. "True."

Urie checks his phone. "We should get going."

"Great." Tooru bounces out of his seat. "I can't believe we've waited so long for our first ultrasound. I want to see what he or she looks like."

"Black and white," Urie responds with a grin. Excitement tingles in his palms, in his fingertips.

 _Fourteen weeks._  Too early to tell the gender. Tooru's already showing almost as much as Karren, though it's harder to tell because he sticks to baggy sweaters and a revolving roster of coats. Urie has his favorites among Tooru's coats.

"Back from lunch!" Kimi sings as she arrives at the same time they do. She slams her car door. "Tsukiyama and Karren—"

"A girl," Tooru supplies. "They both texted."

"They're thrilled." Kimi grins. "Shio apparently told Nishiki that your baby has to be a boy to even out the ranks in the next generation."

Urie rolls his eyes. "We still have another four weeks until we can know, right?"

"Maybe longer, depending," Kimi confirms as she ushers them into her office. Urie's eyes sweep the décor.  _Cute_. He's searching for designs for the nursery he and Tooru still need to set up. He's already painted several pictures of animals for the room. Saiko may have shrieked with happiness when she noticed the painting of a mother duck and four ducklings looked an awful lot like Kaneki and the Quinx, though Urie will never ever cop to it. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Tooru answers honestly. "Just tired."

"Well, we got the latest results back for your RC counts. They look good."

Urie heaves a sigh of relief. Tooru grins.

"Hop up on the table," Kimi says, slapping it as she heads over to the machine.

"Is it normal to be this large already?" Tooru asks. Urie drags a chair over to sit next to his husband. The screen sits blank and empty.  _Not for long_.

 _I'm about to see my son or daughter for the first time_. He's already felt the baby shifting around a few times, his hand on Tooru's stomach. Actually quite a few times, because the baby seems to be constantly squirming inside Tooru. Urie suspects they'll have to chase him or her all over.

 _And I'm kind of looking forward to it._  And by  _kind of_ , Urie means he's looking forward to it  _a lot_.

Kimi spreads a gel over Tooru's abdomen. Urie watches as Tooru frowns. Being pregnant isn't easy for him.

A blurry image appears on the screen as Kimi moves the wand around. "Oh wow."

"What?" Tooru asks, peering over.

Urie freezes as he stares at the screen. His heartbeat thuds in his ears.  _Is that what I think it is?_

"You have two babies in here," Kimi says, sliding the wand around to get a better angle. Tooru's mouth falls open.

Urie falls forward, head and nose slamming into his knees. He clutches his shins, squeezing so hard it's a wonder his bones don't splinter.  _Oh my God._

"Twins," Kimi says. "Two sacs, so they might not be identical, though we can't rule that out."

"Kuki?" Tooru ventures.

"Do not pull an Ayato on me, Urie," Kimi orders.

"What did Ayato do?" Tooru asks.

"Faint. During labor."

"Oh, right."

Urie can't even laugh. He lifts his head, the image searing him in the eyes.  _Twins?_

"Kuki?" Tooru asks again, fear creeping into his tone.

"This may explain why your hCG levels were higher," Kimi says.

"Are they healthy?" Urie croaks.

"Look so, yes." Kimi snorts. "The baby on the right—Baby B—is awake." The baby squirms, kicking and punching from inside Tooru.

"I can tell," Tooru says. "This is going to hurt in a few months." He smiles, though.

"Saiko is going to be thrilled," Urie says, shaking his head. "Shirazu won't be able to stop laughing."

"Kaneki might  _pull an Ayato,"_  Tooru says.

"Please don't make that phrase a thing," Kimi requests.

"It's a thing," Urie decides.

"Oh, here's baby A waking up."

The first baby stretches and rolls. Urie's mouth hangs open. "We're going to be exhausted for years, aren't we?"

"Yep," Tooru whispers, but he grins.

"There are more risks associated with multiple pregnancies even in humans," Kimi says. "We'll have to discuss it when your due date draws near, but if they both aren't head down, we'll definitely have to do a c-section. Depending on how large they are, we may have to do one anyways. And you're going to probably be more uncomfortable than Karren is, just warning you. If Tsukiyama's promising to rub Karren's feet, Urie, you should massage Tooru's back and calves and ankles too."

"Of course," Urie agrees. He hasn't offered very much before, though. He swallows _. I am a terrible husband._

_What if I can't see what my kids need? What if they're not loud and don't cry and I'm unable to tell if something's wrong?_

By the time they get home, Saiko and Shirazu have texted them a million questions, and Urie doesn't have the energy to answer any of them. Tooru eases himself onto their sofa and starts responding.  _Guess what?_

 _I'm dying here,_  Saiko answers.  _Hsiao's about five minutes from having to perform CPR on me._

 _I'm sure she won't mind_   _mouth-to-mouth,_ Tooru teases.

 _TOORU,_  Shirazu complains.  _I want. A picture. Of your sonogram. Please._

Urie slides next to Tooru, reaching up to massage his shoulders., and words whisper in his ears.

_You're going to fail._

_Why do you think you can succeed?_

_Your father left you._

_Your children won't respect you, and why should they?_

The thoughts slice at his mind. Urie bites his lip.

Tooru laughs. He sends Saiko and Shirazu two baby emojis.

 _Not the picture I was hoping for,_  Saiko responds.

 _SEND ME THE SONOGRAM URIES,_ Shirazu orders.

Tooru texts them an ellipsis. Urie bites the insides of his cheeks.  _Keep it together, Kuki._

 _Wait what?_  Shirazu says.

 _OMG NO WAY! ! ! ! ! !_  Saiko shrieks.

 _We'll be a family of four,_  Tooru confirms.  _Texting everyone else now._  He forwards everyone the sonogram image along with the caption:  _Can Rosebud have two best friends?_

Urie grits his teeth. He's  _happy_. He should be happy. He  _wants_  to be happy.

"Ouch!" Tooru yanks his shoulder away. "That hurts—" He stops. "Are you okay?"

Urie realizes his eyes are burning.

Tooru's eyes widen. "Kuki?"

"Sorry," he whispers, and Tooru takes him in his arms, just like he did that day at the auction, when he finally realized that he wasn't worthy of Tooru.

"Are you—scared?"

Urie snorts. He nods.

Tooru wipes at his eyes, pressing his forehead against Urie's.

"I can't—I'm sorry—it should have occurred to me to offer to help you more; you're having my baby—babies—after all," Urie blurts out. "I just—I'm so—" He curls his fist. Tooru's eyes widen as he realizes just what Urie's scared of.

_It's the same answer always, isn't it? The same answer as you?_

_Myself._

_I'm as afraid of myself as you are of yourself._

"I'm not like Tsukiyama Shuu," Urie croaks. "He's better at this supportive husband role. I'm—" He curls his fists.

"But," Tooru says, leaning forward, his eyes scouring Urie, seeing through him. " _You're_  the one I love, Urie Kuki."

 _Flaws and all._  Urie falls into his husband's arms.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: the pregnancies keep spreading. Who's next?


	12. Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Miza drags herself out of bed, head pounding. Orange streaks of dawn slice through the window. She covers her eyes so that the light doesn't stab them. Once in the bathroom, Miza grips the sink, trying to breathe in and breathe out. Her stomach roils.

_Dammit._

Miza leans over the toilet and retches. Bitter bile burns her throat as it surges out of her. And her stomach keeps heaving, muscles almost spasming. Involuntary tears scrape at her eyes.

"Miza?" Naki calls.

Her teeth chatter. She groans in response.

"You sick?" Naki sticks his head in.

"Yes, and it's your fault if I'm right about the cause," Miza grouses.

"My fault?" Naki's eyes widen. "Bringing home that old man's flesh was a mistake, wasn't it? Not surprised. I'll get better stuff next time."

 _Really, Naki?_ Miza closes her eyes. "You can't kill anyone."

"'Course not!" Naki sounds scandalized. "That would make everything real difficult for the king, and that's what we don't need, not with all these kids popping out."

"Uh-huh," Miza rasps. _Well, at least you've got that right._

Naki wraps his arm around her shoulders. "Want me to sing?"

"No."

Naki starts singing anyways, as she knew he would and as she wanted him to. Miza's breasts ache. _Another symptom._

"It's Valentine's Day," Miza reminds him.

Naki squeals. "I forgot!"

Miza snickers. "I forgive you."

"Feeling better?" Naki asks, turning her to face him. His thumb caresses her cheek, and Miza's heart flutters, because this is all she's wanted. Naki's so sweet in his heart, innocent in ways that someone who's done the things he's done shouldn't be. And that innocence—it gives Miza hope.

_You'll be a great father._

Not that she's even sure. But she might as well be. She hasn't had her period since December. At first she thought it was early menopause because she and Naki agreed not to have kids until Furuta was caught.

" _The night he's caught, we're throwing those pills out," Naki vowed._

 _We waited too long, and now we'll never be able to have kids,_ Miza remembers thinking. She couldn't bring herself to tell Naki, crush the hope she saw in his eyes when he played with Amon Seidou and bought a dress for Tsukiyama and Karren's daughter last week.

And then the thought occurred to her: _what if… I'm next?_

But Miza's made sure to never miss a pill. _And still…_

_Would we really be that lucky?_

They get dressed and head to Goat for work, Naki whistling. He takes Miza's hand. "Valentine's Day," he reminds her.

Hinami brings Ryouko into work, the baby babbling. "Wave hello to Miza and Naki," Hinami croons.

Ryouko waves. Mie hides her face in Nishiki's shoulder when he suggests she do the same.

"They already have such different personalities," Miza muses. _What would our kid be like? Would they be like Naki, or like me, or like a combination or something completely new?_

"Can I hold her?" Naki asks, reaching for Ryouko. Mie will scream if he reaches for her; she's basically attached to Nishiki. A Daddy's girl through and through.

"Sure." Hinami hands over Ryouko, who coos and reaches for Naki's nose. Naki laughs, and Miza's heart leaps. Hinami beams.

Once she's at her desk, the one she rarely uses because she prefers field work, Miza sends Hinami an email with no subject line.

_To: flowerprincess_

_From: 3blades_

_Can we talk privately?_

Miza rests her aching skull on her fingers. _I'm going to have to give up field work for awhile, aren't I?_

Hinami pings her back almost right away. Miza glances over her shoulder to see Hinami sipping coffee at her desk, staring at her computer. Naki's still playing with Ryouko, Ayato crouched nearby. Tooru, as big as Karren already, grins as he watches.

_Want to go get coffee with me?_

_Yes_ , Miza responds.

Hinami gets to her feet and tells Ayato she wants to get another coffee. "You want anything, Miza?" she calls.

"Sounds good," Miza says, leaping to her feet. "I'll walk with you."

"Can I get a coffee?" calls Naki.

"Yes!" Miza hollers back. "Only since it's Valentine's Day. I'll be nice to you." She smirks at him, and he grins.

Hinami giggles and pushes the door open. Miza notices Ui Koori watching them with a frown and scowls. She hasn't quite forgiven the man for telling her to kill herself on Rushima.

Well, maybe she has. But it's the associations of that memory—the overwhelming, crushingly black void that exploded inside of her, pressing her organs into her skin and strangling her when she thought Naki was dead, she thought that he'd died protecting her and she couldn't let his death be in vain, the determination that she wouldn't let it be no matter what—the thought that her dreams and hopes didn't matter, because he was dead—she sees it all in Ui Koori, even though he's now seated at a desk only ten meters from her own. And judging by his hunched shoulders and the circles under his eyes, he knows she remembers. He knows they all remember. And he remembers, too, all the people he's lost to ghouls.

_We're supposed to be working for humans and ghouls to coexist, and we can barely coexist among ourselves._

They're barely outside when Miza can't keep it inside her any longer. "I think I'm pregnant."

Hinami's eyes widen. "Seriously?"

Miza nods.

"Congratulations!" Hinami throws her arms around Miza, embracing her.

 _You're so sweet,_ Miza thinks as the girl hugs her. _You're innocent, too._

_You're a great mother._

"Have you told Naki?" Hinami asks, pulling herself back as they hurry through the snowy streets.

Miza shakes her head. "It's not planned."

"I figured," Hinami says, voice low. Her breaths form little puffs in the air. "No one's seem to be, although Tsukiyama told me he and Karren weren't exactly careful."

Miza snickers.

"Have you done a test?"

Miza shakes her head. "Don't really see the point. I'm late; I've thrown up the past few mornings, and my breasts feel swollen."

"Well, yeah," Hinami says, a smile blooming over her face. "It does sound like you're pregnant, then."

Butterflies explode in Miza's stomach at hearing someone else say it. Her shoulders tingle. _This is really happening._

"You should talk to Kimi," says Hinami as they brush past a family with what looks like six kids.

 _Good grief_. Miza shrugs. "I don't know if I see the point," she repeats.

"Well," says Hinami. "She can do a blood test that can tell you how far along you are."

Miza frowns, calculating. "It's got to be since November… so I'd be due in August?"

"Kimi's a nice human," says Hinami.

Miza slides her eyes towards Hinami. "I know."

"She'd be happy to help you out," says Hinami. "Mie gets another playmate." She clasps her hands together. "It's so exciting!"

Miza chuckles, the smell of coffee enveloping them as they step inside :re. "It is."

_It really is._

* * *

"Yup, you're due in August," Kimi confirms. "I can do a sonogram, or—"

"Naki should be here for that," Miza interrupts. The clinic smells funny: tangy and too clean. But she's being treated like she's a person just like every other patient, and yet again, Miza feels a rush of gratitude towards Kaneki. Maybe Goat's mission will work out.

Kimi nods, folding her hands in front of her. She shakes her head, and a snort emerges. "Goat's gonna be able to start its own school soon enough."

A strange sensation wraps itself like gauze around Miza's shoulders. She leans back on her hands. "Don't you think it's strange? That everyone's having unplanned pregnancies?"

Kimi rolls her eyes. "Well, yeah. But it's true that birth control isn't one-hundred-percent effective, and of course, there's the additional factor of being ghouls—I wonder if that could be affecting it's efficacy." She taps her pen against her lips.

Miza arches her eyebrows. "Seems to have worked for years before now."

Kimi frowns. "I've been thinking about looking into it. Maybe we could do a study."

Miza has no idea what that entails, but she nods.

"It definitely is strange, though," Kimi adds.

"Listen, Kimi," Miza says, her mind galloping ahead. "Are you free in about two hours?" She's claimed to be out and about investigating Furuta.

Kimi flips through her planning book. "I could be."

"I want to tell Naki," Miza says, heart thumping. "I planned for tonight, since it's Valentine's Day—but if I tell him earlier—could you give us an ultrasound?"

Kimi grins. "Of course."

Miza calls Naki as she leaves the clinic. "Can you meet me at the apartment?"

"Are you sick again?" Naki screeches. Great, now everyone in Goat's going to know. And probably figure it out before Naki. _You better not spoil the surprise for him._

"Nope," says Miza. "I just—need to see you. Urgently." She lowers her voice. "Since it's Valentine's Day."

"Oh." Naki's voice catches. "Am I allowed to leave work for this?"

"Kaneki's never going to fire you."

"Guess not." Naki snickers. "On my way, Kusakari."

By the time he gets home, Miza's set up the heart of frozen blood for him. Naki laughs and grabs her, kissing her. He holds her so tightly against him, fingers kneading her shoulders, and he murmurs her name. "I love you."

 _That's exactly what I need to hear._ Miza swallows. "We should eat. You don't want it to melt."

"You're making it melt by standing near it."

Miza frowns.

"Because you're hot," says Naki, winking. "Tsukiyama told me that one."

Miza laughs, plopping down on their sofa. Naki drops next to her, sharing the heart.

"You are feeling better, right?" Naki asks, red staining his upper lip.

Miza nods. "I think maybe liquid food is better for me right now."

"Why?"

Miza gulps, knotting her fists. "I'm pregnant, Naki."

Naki chokes, leaning over and coughing. Miza reaches for him. _Are you—_

He looks up at her, eyes wide and streaming. "Are you sure?"

She nods. "Kimi confirmed it—she offered to give us an ultrasound later today—"

Naki crushes her in a hug, rocking back and forth. He clutches her face. "This," he declares. "Is the best Valentine's Day gift _ever_."

"I don't know how it happened," Miza admits. "We were so careful—and I know we said we wouldn't until Furuta was caught, but—"

"Who cares? It happened, it's happening, we're having a baby," Naki interrupts. "I don't care about what should have happened. We're gonna be parents and I'm going to have a little baby—" Tears fill his eyes, and he kisses her again.

 _I love you,_ Miza thinks.

Of course, Naki insists on heading back to Goat before they go to see Kimi for an ultrasound. He bursts into the office, swinging Miza's hand as he rushes towards Kaneki, who's talking to Akira and Hirako.

"Guess what?" Naki blurts out.

Kaneki blinks. "Are you okay?"

"No—yes," says Naki. "Okay's not a good enough word. Miza and I are having a baby!" He raises her hand in the air as if to celebrate a victory.

Akira's jaw drops. Hirako shakes his head, and Kaneki—he throws his arms around Naki. _"Congratulations!"_

"No way!" exclaims Nishiki.

"Knew it," says Ayato.

"Congratulations," Akira offers Miza, holding out her hand. Amon heads over, clutching Seidou.

Miza remembers their fight at the auction. She shakes Akira's hand.

"Congratulations," says another voice, quieter, behind them. Miza spins around to see Ui Koori standing there, pale as if being this close to ghouls is making him sweat.

Naki whirls and grabs Ui in a bone-crushing hug. Ui stiffens, and then he relaxes.

 _Maybe_ , Miza thinks again. _Goat can work._

Her hands drift towards her midsection. _It has to work._

* * *

"You have to read to the baby again tonight," Naki tells Miza as they wait in the waiting room to see Kimi a few months later. The human girl in front of them—very pregnant, gotta be close to meeting her baby—looks at them with her eyes narrowed, like she's suspicious. Well, her intuition's not wrong.

Miza snorts. "You should."

"Nah," says Naki. "The kid's gonna be a reader. Not a dummy like me."

Miza scowls at him. "You are not dumb, Naki."

Naki frowns, jerking his leg. "They can go to school, right? We're going to send them?"

A grin splits Miza's face. "Yes, Naki. We're sending the baby to school when they're old enough."

Her suspicions apparently confirmed, the girl across from them inches backwards on the blue padded chair she sits on.

"How soon until you have your baby?" Naki asks the girl.

She looks as if the terror of having them talk to her might send her into labor any second. _I'm just trying to be nice_. "Why?"

"We've got about four and a half, five more months," Naki says, arm around Miza. "We get to find out what we're having today."

"Oh." The girl offers a small smile. "Two weeks."

"Congratulations in advance!" Naki cheers. "We may be ghouls, but we work for Goat. We like humans. As friends, not just food. Most of you are actually pretty good people."

The girl's jaw drops, as if she'd never considered that maybe to ghouls humans weren't nice people. Miza cringes, but hey, they have to start building bridges in society.

"Miza and Naki?' Kimi calls, coming to fetch them. Naki waves goodbye to the girl; she waves back.

"As I was saying," says Miza as she settles down on the examination table and Kimi spreads gel on her stomach. "I want you to try to read to the baby tonight."

"It won't sound good." _And I don't want my kid thinking I'm dumb._ Kimi said that babies can hear before they're born.

"I don't care," says Miza. "And I don't think the baby will care, either. You're—trying. And I want them to hear their father's voice encouraging them when it comes to school. Even if it's early."

Kimi chuckles. The baby's image appears on screen. Naki leans forwards. "Okay," he promises.

_My kid will love me no matter what._

That's what Miza reminds him when he gets nervous, and he remembers Jason. He'll be just as good a dad to his baby as Jason was to him, and maybe even better, because he won't torture anybody anymore.

"You're having a boy," Kimi says with a smile.

"A boy?" Naki's eyes widen as he looks at the black and white image. _I'm gonna have a son._

"We could name him Jason," he suggests to Miza later.

"Naki, no!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Tooru gets bad news and Yoriko asks Touka a question.


	13. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

The moment Kimi's lips tighten into a frown, Tooru knows something's wrong. "What's going on?"

Kimi shakes her head and starts the blood pressure machine again. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"As well as I can with two babies kicking my uterus," Tooru says. Karren sits across from him. They're both coming for biweekly check-ups. Karren's only got one month to go; Tooru, two.

Kimi says nothing as she takes Tooru's blood pressure again. The rain outside the window pitter-patters, the sound stabbing into Tooru's skull.

"Is his blood pressure high?" Karren ventures.

Kimi reads the machine. "Have you had swelling in your legs?"

"Yes, but isn't that normal?"

"To an extent, yes. Any headaches?"

Tooru shakes his head. His heart starts to race. "I'm just—I'm—what's wrong?"

"Quite possibly nothing," Kimi says, ripping the Velcro from Tooru's arm. "Your blood pressure's a little high, that's all, but not terribly so. I'll be right back." She scuttles out of the office.

Tooru bites his lip. Neither Urie nor Tsukiyama had to come to their appointments today. It was supposed to be routine.

"I'm sure you're fine," Karren assures him, cradling her own stomach. "Kimi said the heartbeats sounded good."

Tooru nods.

"I don't care!" Kimi's voice rises outside the door. "I want those results back ASAP, okay?"

Tooru flinches. Kimi bursts back in. "Sorry, Tooru." Kimi lets out her breath. "I called the lab. They'll have your results back as soon as possible. This was easier when Banjou did my lab tests for me." She smirks.

 _But you're at an actual clinic now,_ Tooru thinks. _And I'm guessing my tests aren't a priority. I'm not fully human to them._

"I'm just waiting to see if your urine shows any protein," Kimi explains. "If it does, we'll have to monitor you for the next 24 hours. If your blood pressure goes back to normal, we'll be able to rule our preeclampsia."

The rain scratches against the windows. Tooru can't look at Karren. "And if not?"

Kimi clutches her bangle. "We'll discuss your options."

"You should call Urie," Karren advises her. "I'll stay with you until he gets here."

"Does that mean you're admitting me?" Tooru asks.

"Yeah." Kimi nods. "Just for the night. I'll have to talk with management—but I'm sure it can be arranged with the hospital."

Tooru swallows. Tears prick his eyes. _We're so close._ _Why now?_

Karren reaches out and squeezes his shoulder.

* * *

"Urie Kuki, where the hell is your phone?" shouts Tsukiyama's voice.

Urie leaps up from where he sits at a desk across from Kaneki and Amon. "What the hell?" he yelps. He fumbles for his phone.

 _Oh, shit._ Three missed calls from Tooru.

"My fiancée's on the phone yelling at me to yell at you," Tsukiyama reports. He thrusts the phone at Urie, and the way he grimaces—something's wrong. Urie feels as if the world's tilting. Ui rises from his desk in the corner, and Hairu appears from the hallway, munching on a melon bun.

Urie clutches the desk as he answers. "Put Tooru on."

"Done," says Karren.

Urie stumbles away. Kaneki and Amon both turn to Tsukiyama.

"Kuki?" Tooru's voice breaks.

"What happened?" _Please tell me they're both still okay—tell me your levels are still okay—they didn't—it's too late for that kind of miscarriage—but it's never too late for tragedy—oh please—_

"They're admitting me to the hospital for 24 hours," Tooru reports. "My blood pressure's kind of high and Kimi says I have protein in my urine. They think it might be preeclampsia."

Urie swears, ducking into the stairwell. Rain slams against the metal roof. He noticed the past two days that Tooru's legs were a lot more swollen, barely fitting into his socks. "I'm on my way."

"The babies are still okay," Tooru offers weakly.

Urie manages a laugh. "I'm glad to hear it."

"See you soon," Tooru whispers.

Urie jogs back into the office. Kaneki holds out his coat for him. Juuzou nods at Urie. "Good luck."

"It will be okay," promises Shinohara, an empty promise he can't keep, a promise no one can keep but God.

_Still, you care._

"Good luck," says Hanbee. "Tell Tooru we're all thinking of him."

Urie nods and sweeps out.

"Akira will give you a ride," Amon calls, his son in his arms. Amon and Akira, as well as Ayato and Hinami, often bring their babies to work. Nishiki and Kimi trade off, but usually Nishiki has Mie, because Kimi's work is slightly more dangerous.

"Fine." Urie doesn't even turn around as Akira approaches him. The rain pours down. A car seat sits in the backseat of the car, and Urie thinks of the two cribs they'll have to buy.

_Tooru's got to be fine. The babies have got to be fine._

One boy—Baby A—and one girl, Baby B. His son and his daughter. It's not fair that they should be in danger through no fault of Urie's or Tooru's own. _Dammit, we at least need the chance to fuck things up._

He doesn't like feeling like everything's sliding through his fingers, this helpless freefall sensation of having absolutely zero control.

"You okay?" Akira asks.

"No."

"I texted Saiko and Shirazu. They're on their way, with Hsiao and Higemaru too."

"Thanks." Urie presses his lips together, peering out the window as the rain washes Tokyo.

* * *

Shirazu, Saiko, Hsiao, and Higemaru entertain them for the day with Hsiao's collection of board games. Urie sleeps that night by Tooru's side in the small, lumpy hospital bed.

The next afternoon, Kimi appears with circles under her eyes.

"I have preeclampsia," Tooru states. He feels as if sandbags are tied to his lungs, splitting his chest open and choking him while dragging him down.

Kimi sighs and nods. She drags a chair over.

"What does that mean for us?" Urie demands, clutching Tooru's hand.

"Well, to reassure you a bit, it's mild preeclampsia right now. You're not in danger exactly, but you have to be careful. I've discussed it with a few other doctors, and we agree that you can be sent home, but you're confined to bed rest, Tooru. I'll be stopping by to monitor your blood pressure every day."

"And if it gets over a certain level, I have to deliver?"

Kimi nods. "If I notice it getting higher over the next week or so, I'll give you steroid shots to speed up the babies' lung development. After you hit 34 weeks, that's not really a concern anymore."

"How many weeks would you like us to hit?" Urie asks. Tooru's vision blurs with tears.

"Ideally, 37, but that may be asking a lot. I'd be happy to take the babies after 36 or even 35." Kimi fixes her gaze on Tooru. "It's extremely important that you follow everything I tell you to do. And that you are completely honest—if you get a headache, if the swelling gets worse, if you start having vision changes—I want to hear about it. Right away."

"Okay," Tooru whispers. Anything for his twins.

Urie gets him settled at home, telling him he's taking leave from Goat for right now. Karren shows up with several roses to adorn the bedroom Tooru's confined to.

"It's going to be okay," Urie assures him, climbing into the bed next to him and stroking his stomach. "You aren't a burden."

 _You saw that through my words, didn't you_? Tooru closes his eyes.

He dreams about a bathroom, the bathroom in their apartment with its green wallpaper and purple floral shower curtain, and a familiar man coming through as Tooru takes a bath.

" _Daddy?"_

And then Tooru can't breathe, and his head's under the water, and his father's grabbing him again, and it doesn't matter that he's pregnant—he can't even break above the water to say it—and then there's blood, so much blood, red and salted, drowning him, and his father's own corpse, eyes open and lifeless, holds him underwater, and if he dies his babies die but—he can't—can't breathe—

" _Tooru!"_

Hands descend, pulling him up, shaking the water off. Tooru gasps, gagging on air.

_It was a dream._

Tears stream down his face. Urie's hands rub circles on his shoulders. "It's okay. I'm here."

"It's not okay," Tooru chokes out.

Urie sighs. His body feels warm next to Tooru, and he welcomes it. "What did you dream about?"

Tooru licks his lips. "My father." He wants to shower, right now, wash the memories away. A sob rips out.

_I can never get rid of what I did._

" _You can move forward," Kaneki told him, and that's when Tooru realized he wasn't Haise, that Haise was a dream, but Kaneki was real and Urie, his arms around Tooru, was real, and he could breathe._

"What if I lose my mind and I—hurt my children—just like my father did? What if my sociopathic side comes out and takes over?" His heart thumps. This is probably not helping his blood pressure.

"That won't happen."

"You don't know that." Tooru reaches out to grab Urie's hands, folding his fingers down. He peers into his husband's eyes. "If it happens, you have to take our kids and leave me. You have to protect them."

"I'll protect them with my life," Urie returns, one hand breaking free from Tooru's grasp and stroking his hair. "But I'll always love you, too. You're beautiful. You're capable of being an amazing parent, and I don't—hate any part of you and I never will."

"Why not?" Tooru demands.

"Because you never hated me at my worst." Urie kisses his nose.

_You don't see yourself as better than me._

It's a gift Tooru still has trouble accepting, but one that chases away the dregs of his nightmares.

* * *

"Ugh," Touka complains as she dumps the leftover coffee down the sink.

"You okay?" asks Yoriko as she turns :re's _open_ sign to _closed_.

Touka nods. A wave of nausea shimmies through her. She exhales and turns on the water. The splashing and cool spray washes it away.

"Don't tell me you're pregnant now," Yoriko teases.

Touka rolls her eyes. The pots clank together as she rinses them. "Are _you?"_

"God no." Yoriko peers over her shoulder at her husband, who types on his phone. "We're going to stop by and visit Kuki and Tooru tonight. It's really awful that they have to deal with this."

"Urie will throw your sympathy back in your face," Touka warns.

"Tooru won't." Yoriko sighs.

Yoriko's words niggle in the back of Touka's brain. She ducks her head so her friend can't see that she's worrying. Yoriko picks up her purse and waves. "You all ready?"

Takeomi pries himself up from the chair, setting it back in place. The shop reeks of cleaner Touka used on the floor. They all leave together, Touka locking up.

Yoriko's words echo even as she and Takeomi drive away. _Don't tell me…_

 _That would be ridiculous,_ Touka tells herself. _That many unplanned pregnancies in such a short time_. Ryouko isn't even one yet. Next month, Hinami and Ayato have a big party planned.

But Yoriko's words just gave voice to a worry needling at Touka the past week and a half.

She finds Kaneki already in their apartment, humming as he reads _Demons_ by Dostoyevsky. "Hey," she greets him.

"Hey." He smiles at her, slipping a bookmark into the thick book and closing the cover. He puts it down under the lamp on the wooden stand next to him, almost with a reverent air that doesn't surprise Touka at all.

Her palms ache. "Yoriko says she's visiting Tooru and Urie to try and improve Tooru's spirits."

Kaneki shakes his head. "Tooru's really worried."

"You should visit tomorrow." Touka yanks off her apron, tossing it onto a hook on the wall. Kaneki sucks in his breath as she heads over to him, climbing onto his legs. Her lips descend to his. He closes his eyes, as if he's savoring her taste. Tonight, though, as his arms snake across her back and grip her shoulders, a voice that sounds an awful lot like her own scolds her.

_You're always yelling at him for not being open with you…_

But she wants him. Touka slips her shirt off, and Kaneki presses his face into her chest. When he pulls back and looks up at her, cheeks round and red, eyes hopeful, he looks as sweet and kind and stupid as the day she met him. But he's not stupid, or weak.

He carries her to the bedroom, flicking on the lights the way Touka likes it. Their bodies move in sync, and Touka's breaths come sharp and harried. He shudders first, and then it ripples through Touka as well, her muscles clenching and the ethereal sense that she belongs to more than this earth lifting her up and away, the only sensation she's aware of Kaneki's damp skin against her own.

He rolls off her, panting. Touka swallows. As she settles back into the room, the soft sheets against her back and the bright lights glinting in her eyes, the voice comes back.

"Ken, I'm late."

"For what?"

Touka props herself up on her elbow. "I'm a week and a half _late_."

Understanding dawns on his face. His eyes pop and his mouth drops. "Have you taken a test?"

She shakes her head. "I was nauseated today. A few times. I didn't get sick, though."

"I'll call Kimi," Kaneki promises. "We'll get a blood test, to be sure."

"It might be nothing."

"It might not be." Kaneki presses his hand against his chin.

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

He shrugs, reaching out to stroke her arm. "We'll deal with whatever the result is."

* * *

"My, my," declares Nishiki as he leans against the doorframe to Kimi's office. Kaneki and Touka both sit in the waiting room, hand in hand.

"Where's Mie?" Touka demands.

"Irimi and Koma are watching her. Tsukiyama's visiting them and we thought it'd be ideal to scare the shit out of him regarding what's coming." Nishiki saunters over and drops down next to Kaneki. His elbow jabs into Kaneki's ribs. "Well?"

"W-we haven't seen Kimi yet," Kaneki stammers.

"I know." Nishiki grins at both of them, eyes glittering. " _But_."

"Nishiki, your presence is not appreciated," Touka snaps.

"Good thing I called for reinforcements." Nishiki winks.

"Who did you tell?" Kaneki yelps. He has a vision of Yomo and Ayato appearing with kagunes out. _Oh God, Ayato, is this how you felt when I yelled at you?_

_Mea culpa._

"It's me," sings Hide's voice as he jogs in. He gapes at them both. "But, my _God."_

Kaneki feels as if his face is burning off. Hide laughs, sliding into the chair next to Touka.

"It will be okay," Kaneki says. "I'm—we'll work it out together. Whatever the result is."

"You're touching your chin," Hide points out, brushing his hair back.

"Well, my brain may be stuck replaying my reaction to Hinami's pregnancy," Kaneki retorts. And his blood pressure might be giving Tooru's a run for its money.

_I never had a father, and Arima—how the hell can I do this?_

"Oh, Ken." Touka shakes her head.

"I'm back!" Kimi calls, bounding into the room. She stops when she sees Nishiki and Hide, both of whom wave sheepishly. "Whatever."

Touka stiffens.

"Do I get to do this privately or are you two clinging to him like barnacles?" asks Kimi.

"Clinging," Nishiki affirms. Kaneki snorts.

"Don't mind," Touka says with a shrug. "It's positive, isn't it."

Kimi nods. "Your hCG counts indicate that you're about five weeks along, so it's very early."

 _Positive_.

Kaneki reaches out to wrap Touka in his arms. "You'll be a great mother." He believes that. He _knows_ that.

 _I'm going to blow it in the father department._ An image of his mother striking him shoots through his brain, and he flinches.

"Yomo and Ayato have no reason to judge," Touka snaps.

"Let's be honest, we know Ayato is going to say something," Nishiki points out.

"I'll set them straight," Touka vows, curling her fists.

"We'll have to monitor you, but I did it, and Akira did it, and Tooru's doing it as a ghoul, so I'm optimistic," Kimi says. "Of course, I can't guarantee anything."

Kaneki nods.

"You won't be like your mom, Ken," Hide says quietly, peeling back the layers and leaving Kaneki exposed. He wants to cover himself, but he can't. All three of his friends and his girlfriend look at him and they _know_. Shame bubbles in his stomach.

Touka reaches out, grasping his shoulder. Kaneki's face boils as he studies his shoes.

"We're the ghosts of Christmas past," Nishiki tells him as he peers at his phone. "Here comes the ghost of Christmas present. The ghost of Christmas future is, of course, my beautiful daughter when she's overtired, but here's to hoping she's not needed."

"What?" asks Touka, dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry," Kaneki blurts out. "I'm—glad—I really am—I want the child so much—" _I'm ruining this for you, aren't I?_

"Don't you dare lacerate yourself right now," Touka warns him. "Not over this."

"Why hello," says Juuzou as he prances into the room, a blanket with roses and forks and two blankets with rainbows and Oreo cookies stitched on them slung over his arm. "Congratulations?"

"Who else did you tell?" Touka cries.

"No one else," Nishiki protests. Kimi slaps her forehead.

"I can actually keep a secret when I want to," Juuzou retorts. "Here." He steps over to Kaneki, holding out his coat. It takes Kaneki a moment to realize Juuzou wants him to dig through his pockets.

 _Oh_. He pulls out a handful of candy. "Juuzou—I can't currently eat this."

"No, but you might be able to at some point in the future," Juuzou says. "And eating them's not the point."

Kaneki laughs, a weak sound slipping from his lips. _I need to be taken care of._

It's not something he's used to.

But his child… _I don't want them to feel like they have to be strong all the time._

"You're running Goat with Touka's help," Juuzou points out. "You couldn't do it without her, and she wouldn't do it without you. Ditto for parenting your kid."

"You don't mince words, do you?" Hide remarks.

"Nope," Juuzou sings. "Touka won't let you be like your parents, just like Shinohara wouldn't let me be like Big Madam, and Urie and Shirazu and Saiko won't let Tooru be like his father, and Hinami won't let Ayato be like Arata, and Amon and Akira keep each other from behind like Donato and Kureo."

 _We're all trying to do better than the ones that came before us,_ Kaneki realizes.

 _That's what life is_.

_We're not ready for this._

_Then again, we've never been ready for any of this, and we're still here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Touka and Kaneki face Yomo and Ayato, and Tooru's blood pressure keeps climbing.


	14. Induction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

"If we don't tell people ASAP, Juuzou will, promises be damned," Touka warns.

"I know." Kaneki pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I say we tell Tooru and Urie first, because Tooru can't leave his apartment and it might cheer him up," Touka suggests, swinging her legs as she pulls on her sweater. "And then we tell my brother and Hinami, and Yomo. And then everyone else."

Kaneki nods.

"Don't worry; I can and will kick their asses if they decide to be hypocritical and try to kill you," Touka says, hopping to her feet.

He rolls his eyes. In truth, Kaneki didn't sleep much last night, with his mind vacillating between a sunny trampoline of excitement and a black cliff of complete terror. "How's the nausea?"

"On and off, but I still haven't actually gotten sick."

"Mind if Saiko and Shirazu join us at Urie and Tooru's?" Kaneki asks as he texts. "They won't want to be left out."

"Sure. Your old CCG babies are getting a sibling." Touka winks.

Kaneki snorts. He likes the line, though, and by the time Saiko arrives at Urie and Tooru's with a fun video game she insists on setting up to play with Tooru despite Tooru's skepticism that it will actually help lower his blood pressure, Kaneki decides to use it. Two stuffed cats sit on a chair in the bedroom.

"Takeomi and Yoriko brought them over," Urie admits begrudgingly.

"And it was nice of them," Tooru adds.

Touka sighs as she studies Kaneki.

"How are you feeling?" Saiko asks.

"Swelling's gone down a bit. I think." Tooru frowns. "I kind of just want to have the kids already, but also I'm worried, so." He twists the sheets on his bed as if he regrets sharing that much. His eyes flicker to Urie, no doubt hoping Urie changes the subject. Green curtains flutter against the window, opened to the spring air.

"You're going to be a great father, Tooru," Touka says.

"You really think so?" Tooru's mouth falls open.

"Yeah," says Touka. "Because you've learned you can't do it all on your own."

"Sometimes."

"But you're making progress there," Touka insists. "And I'll get Kaneki to spoil your twins. As a grandfather should."

Urie cracks a smile, his hand running through Tooru's green hair.

"Actually," Kaneki says, heart thumping. "As my original—kids—more or less, how do you feel about having a sibling?"

"Huh?" Shirazu frowns.

"A much younger sibling," Kaneki clarifies.

"No way!" Saiko screeches, leaping to her feet. "No _way!"_

Tooru shakes his head, beginning to laugh. A flush creeps through Kaneki's face.

Urie rubs his face. "Is this for real?"

"Kaneki asked himself the same question all last night," Touka confirms.

"Hey!" He shoves her.

She catches his hands. "It's true."

Shirazu shakes his head. "Congratulations."

"More playmates," Tooru muses, tracing his stomach.

"Actually, since the two of you have—you know, walked this road," Kaneki says. "I was wondering if you'd be willing to give us advice."

Urie grins. "I'd _love_ to."

* * *

"Um, why is everyone here?" Touka queries as she and Kaneki slip into :re.

"Because you took a day off and everyone thought you must be dead, sis," Ayato teases as he crouches onto the floor. "C'mere, Ryouko."

Hinami lets go of their daughter's hands, and she hesitates, taking a step before she wobbles. Hinami catches her.

"It's early for her to be walking, isn't it?" Yomo asks. "I read about it."

"She can't really _walk_ ," Ayato admits. "Just a step here and there. Someday. Probably sooner than we'd like."

Amon rocks his son in his arms, Akira laughing with Kimi, who holds a sleepy Mie and gives Kaneki a smirk.

"So," Kaneki says as he and Touka slip into a booth. Yomo leans against it as Hinami gathers Ryouko and slides in the other side, Ayato next to her.

 _Can we keep the initial conversation down in volume?_ Touka wonders. Mie starts to cry. _Oh, perfect._

"We have—to tell you something," Kaneki says nervously.

"If you're asking our permission to marry her, it's a given," says Ayato. "So long as you don't elope like Kuki and Tooru."

"I can give him my permission myself," Touka snaps. Hinami snickers.

Kaneki glances at Touka. "Well—"

"I'm pregnant," Touka cuts in. _Sorry for the humble pie you're about to eat, Ken._

Ayato's eyes bulge. Yomo narrows his, and shakes his head. Hinami claps her hands and squeals, upsetting Ryouko.

Kaneki swallows, looking up at Yomo. Her uncle blows out his breath and looks back at them with a smile. "I trust you. I trusted my sister when she had you, Touka. You two love each other just the same way that Hikari and Arata did—but with a better world around you. Both of your parents—they'd be proud." He shakes his head, grabbing his phone. "Uta's not going to believe this."

"Um, excuse me?" Ayato blurts out. "I'm supposed to be the loser, remember? You two were supposed to be married before you even—hey, how can you even have a kid? If she's a ghoul—"

"Kimi thinks it'll make it," Kaneki ekes out. "I'm—sorry I yelled at you when you and Hinami were—I was wrong."

"It wasn't planned, was it?" Hinami ventures.

Touka shakes her head. "I'm only five weeks. It's pretty early."

"This many unplanned pregnancies is weird," Hinami says, a frown on her face. "But I am happy for you—think about it, Ayato, Ryouko's going to have a cousin and—"

"Yeah, yeah," Ayato says, slumping back.

Hinami glowers at him. Touka rolls her eyes.

A smile spreads across his face. "Congratulations. I'm looking forward to having a niece or nephew. And a godbaby."

"You get the first one; I'm the godfather!" proclaims Juuzou as he sweeps over.

Silence crashes over the entire café. Touka blanches.

Hide leans across the counter, drumming his fingers. Touka hasn't even considered anyone as the godparent besides Hide.

"Kaneki and—Touka?" ventures Akira. "Are you—"

Kaneki nods, wrapping his arm around Touka's shoulders.

Amon lets out a laugh, his son asleep in his arms. "Congrats, Eyepatch."

"Congratulations!" shrieks Shio. Hsiao shakes her head as Aura gapes and Higemaru grins. Seidou looks stunned.

"No way!" yelps Naki. "We're gonna be fathers together!" He runs over and grabs Kaneki in a hug, swinging him around. Miza laughs, wrapping her arms around her baby bump.

"Well, clearly this solves what you were arguing about," declares Tsukiyama, his hands spreading out. " _I_ will be godfather." He frowns. "I wonder what your baby would taste like."

Nishiki growls.

"Hey!" Karren snaps at Nishiki, her own belly almost out to her knees by this point.

"The heir to the throne," Tsukiyama muses.

Kaneki shakes his head, and Touka has the feeling they agree on this. No matter what, their child will have to be involved in the politics of their world by nature of who their parents are. But as much as they can, Touka hopes to protect them. She squeezes Kaneki's hand.

Yomo snorts and holds out his phone to them. Uta's texted.

_Touka's pregnant, isn't she?_

"He can make the baby a mask," Touka grouses.

"I honestly thought you all might chastise me," Kaneki admits. "I haven't been—the best at—"

"You've been worried," Akira cuts in. "Just like we're all going to worry about you guys. But you've also supported us, so we'll support you. We'd do that anyways."

"Because you're the king!" sings Naki.

"Because you're our friend," cuts in Hide.

* * *

"Not good?" Tooru guesses when Kimi takes his blood pressure.

"It's gone up," Kimi confirms. Urie groans, leaning forward with his head in his hands. The swelling's been getting worse over the past few days, and he knows Tooru's so uncomfortable he can't sleep at night.

"The good news is," Kimi says. "You're thirty-six weeks today, Tooru. You've done really well the past month, but I'm getting concerned about the strain on your body, as well as on the babies."

"One more week, right? That's what you hoped for?" Urie questions.

"To be frank, I think we should induce labor now," Kimi says. "I don't want to worry you, Tooru, but I'm uncomfortable risking this anymore. Your blood pressure's reached the point where I think you're at serious risk for eclampsia. There are still risks with delivering babies this early, but it's late enough that I think the risks of keeping them in there any longer are far more dangerous."

"What are the risks?" Urie demands, reaching for Tooru's hand. Tooru's shaking.

"The most serious one is respiratory distress," Kimi says. "Which is why I want to take you to the hospital, because almost all babies with that problem at 36 weeks will be fine."

 _Almost all…_ Urie's mind whirs. _What if we're the ones whose babies aren't okay? What if we're those statistics?_

"If it were my child," Kimi says, her eyes wet. "I would do it. The risks to your own body and to your babies are quite serious if you want to wait another week, Tooru."

"Today?" Tooru ventures. "You'd want to do it—today?"

"If you agree, I'd say we throw you in a car and take you to the hospital right now, and I'll induce labor as soon as we get there."

Tooru meets Urie's eyes, already nodding. "Okay."

Kimi lets out her breath. "I'll call the hospital. And a car."

 _I'm meeting my son and daughter in—a few hours._ Urie clutches his face. "You okay?"

Tooru nods. "I'm scared."

"Me too."

Tooru gulps. "I'll text Karren. You should text Shirazu and Saiko, and Hsiao, Aura, and Higemaru."

"On it." Urie taps out a message. _Hey, Tooru's BP has gone up to the point where Kimi thinks we should induce labor today. We're heading to the hospital. Feel free to tell people._

Saiko responds almost immediately. _Are you both okay?_

_Nervous._

"Hospital agreed to give you a room," Kimi announces as she sweeps into the room. "And Takeomi will be giving us a ride to the hospital."

"What?" Urie shouts.

" _Kuki_ might have blood pressure problems now," Tooru offers weakly.

Kimi scowls at Urie. "You need to keep it together. He's the closest one to us with a car."

 _Closest… it's that serious,_ Urie realizes. _Just what was Tooru's blood pressure?_ He nods. Even if accepting help from Takeomi chafes at him, he needs to forget about it. Because Takeomi is not nearly as important as his husband, his son, or his daughter.

"I'll be monitoring you throughout labor," Kimi informs Tooru. "If I see anything worrisome, I might have to do a c-section, but I think if we induce you today we can avoid that."

Tooru nods. Urie leaps to his feet, scrambling for Tooru's bag and light coat and helping his husband into the garment. The sweatpants can stay; Tooru should be comfortable. Labor can take awhile, from what his friends have said.

"Takeomi's here," Kimi says.

Urie tosses the keys at Kimi. "Lock up." He picks Tooru up.

"I _can_ walk, Kuki!"

"I know." _I just like carrying you._ Even pregnant, Tooru's body fits perfectly in Urie's arms.

Tooru rolls his eyes and leans his head against Urie's shoulder. The sun glitters down on them, sparkling on several muddy puddles. Urie sidesteps them. Takeomi sits in the front seat, sunglasses on. He waves.

 _Ugh_. Urie manages a nod as he helps Tooru into the backseat.

"How're you feeling?" Takeomi greets Tooru.

"Headache," Tooru admits. "And we're both pretty nervous."

"Yoriko says to tell you she's excited for you."

Urie's hand cups Tooru's head. Kimi lets herself into the front seat, and Takeomi takes off.

"Drive carefully," Urie manages.

"I will," Takeomi promises. "We've got precious cargo."

" _People_ ," Urie corrects. Tooru stomps on his toe.

"Right," Takeomi agrees. Cars and street signs whiz by. Urie's heart starts to pound as they wind their way towards the hospital. His phone lights up with well wishes, first from Kaneki and then Touka, Hinami, Tsukiyama, Juuzou, Higemaru, even Aura.

 _They all care._ A lump grows in Urie's throat. _What's the matter with me?_

"Two more babies to add to Goat's second generation," Takeomi says. "It's exciting." His voice sounds awfully vulnerable.

The pressure in Urie's chest lessens. A smile spreads across his face. "Be careful," he warns. "Unplanned pregnancies seem to be contagious."

Takeomi laughs, a bit uneasy, but when he glances over his shoulder to see Urie smiling, he grins too.

"Eyes on the road!" Urie barks.

"Good luck," Takeomi says, somber as he pulls up at the hospital.

They thank him as Urie carries Tooru inside. Kimi runs ahead. Within a half an hour, they're set up in a hospital room with a sunny window. A rainbow splays across the sky. "Look," Tooru says. "It's a good sign, isn't it?"

Urie nods as Kimi hooks Tooru up to an IV. "Pitocin," she explains. "It should start your labor." According to a sonogram, both twins are head down.

Saiko arrives, as Kimi says it will take hours to work, and Tooru and Saiko play more of that video game while Urie watches and chews the skin off his lips. Shirazu appears and but sits silently next to Urie. After about seven hours, as dusk settles outside, Tooru starts to shift.

"Are you having a contraction?" Urie asks. Saiko whirls around.

"I—maybe," Tooru says. "It felt—like a cramp."

"Are you ready?" Shirazu asks Urie, his voice quiet.

Urie meets Shirazu's eyes and sees no judgment, just compassion. Urie swallows, and shakes his head.

"It's okay," Shirazu reassures him. "I'm—really excited for the two of you."

Within another hour, there's no doubt that the medicine's working, and Kimi ushers Saiko and Shirazu out of the room. Banjou appears, as do several of Kimi's doctor friends. They slip in and out as Kimi monitors Tooru's body and the babies' heart rates.

Tooru's face scrunches in agony. Urie wipes the sweat away, tries to keep him calm.

"You're doing great," Kimi encourages. "You're almost fully dilated. I'm going to have you start pushing soon. You're almost there."

"I'm going to die," Tooru gasps out.

"No, no you're not," Urie snaps. _I need you_.

 _I've thought you might be dead too many times over. I love you_.

When Kimi tells Tooru to start pushing, he's panting for air. A cry emerges from Tooru's lips as Urie helps him bear down.

"You're doing great," Kimi repeats.

"What would doing bad look like?" Tooru rasps.

Kimi chortles. Urie laughs, because at least he's joking.

When an infant's scream rips through the air, Kimi laughs. "You have a baby girl."

They place the baby in Urie's arms, and she's screaming, so tiny, but alive and beautiful and bloody and her hair's purple like his. She's small enough to fit into one of his palms.

Tooru moans again, even as Urie shows her their daughter, and then Kimi's shouting instructions, and Urie turns to see his son slipping into the world. But this baby doesn't cry, and his skin's mottled with purple and blue.

"Oxygen!" Kimi barks.

 _Respiratory distress,_ Urie remembers. He feels frozen.

"What's happening?" Tooru cries out.

"It's okay," Kimi assures Tooru as one of the other white-coated doctors slips a miniature oxygen mask over their son's nose and mouth. "He's going to be fine."

"He looks like you, Tooru," Urie manages, tears leaking from his face. Green hair and all. Both of their babies have darker skin like Tooru's too.

"Oh no," Tooru whispers, and Urie presses their daughter against his chest, and then Tooru's crying too, but for once there's no despair with it.

"We're going to give your son some oxygen for awhile, and admit him to newborn intensive care," Kimi says. "I'll stay with him. He will be fine, Tooru, Kuki, we just need to make sure he'll keep breathing."

When Urie and Tooru are taken to see him in his incubator, more tears fall. _He's so small._

_He's going to be okay._

Tooru looks up at Urie, their daughter asleep in her arms, and Urie leans down to kiss his head. _We did it._

_We have our family._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Fruit-chan picks a victim.


	15. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

"I'm so glad they're okay," Karren says as Shuu finishes his cup of coffee outside the window, since she still won't let him brew it in the house. Hopefully within a couple weeks she'll be able to smell and drink it again.

Shuu shakes his head. "Must have been scary."

Tooru, Isamu, and Chiasa will have to stay in the hospital for another few days, but Kimi's optimistic they'll all be discharged at the same time. Tooru sent Karren a special thank you the night before, for being there for him during the pregnancy. _It's so weird. We're good friends._ Karren rubs her forehead.

"Meanwhile, Rosebud's happy to take her sweet time," Shuu jokes, jogging for the door. "Considering that the due date was yesterday."

Karren groans. "I know." She's so tired of waiting. Kimi says she has ten days to come naturally or she'll induce Karren, too.

Shuu bursts back inside. "Want to go shopping?"

Karren blinks. "For what?"

"Our daughter is going to be the best-dressed baby in Goat. I won't have it any other way." He winks and Karren laughs. "My dad offered to take us—he wants to pay for some of it, I think."

 _I'm pretty sure he's paying for way more than some of it._ Karren kisses Shuu slowly, parting his lips with her own, sinking her tongue in and drinking from him. "No," she says. "You go."

"Karren—"

"Don't worry. I just don't feel like walking around all day and I know you'll want as much time as you can."

Shuu hesitates. "I can—"

" _Go_ ," Karren insists. "I'll call Chie. She's been bugging me about taking more photos. Or actually go in to work at Goat, but Akira says I can't be there until I have the baby because she doesn't want me to have Rosebud in a car."

"You're not dumb enough to ignore contractions," Shuu teases.

"Akira's not dumb!"

"Not at all, but that was a dumbass move."

Karren rolls her eyes.

He leaves, and Karren gets Chie's voicemail, which is really a high-pitched squeal before Chie bursts out with, " _It'sHoriChieifyou'dlikeyourpicturetaken—"_

"It's me," Karren says. "If you want more pictures to take, today's your lucky chance."

It's weird Chie didn't pick up, though. She's been good about that lately. Come to think of it, Karren hasn't heard from Chie since she texted congratulations to Tooru and Urie via Goat's group chat.

_I am not going to worry about that eccentric human._

After almost two hours, Karren calls back. The squealing begins again. "Call me," she barks into the phone.

_Should I text Shuu?_

_Nah._ Karren grabs her keys, her sunglasses, and a light jacket. She's pregnant, not an invalid.

Five minutes after leaving the house and Karren curses her decision to wear a jacket. It's too warm out. Sweat slides down her spine and taking it off is too much of a hassle right now. A teenager bobs past her clutching a coffee with the lid off; Karren could rip out her throat were it not for the fact that the girl smells horrible.

When she gets to Chie's place, she's ready to slap the weirdo. Karren draws back her foot and kicks the door. "Open up!"

No answer.

"It's me!"

A bird sings from a nearby tree, pitch too squeaky for Karren's liking. She kicks the door again. " _Hori Chie!"_

Desperation claws for Karren's throat. She swallows.

And then she can't stand it anymore. Panic swells, and she sees Arunolt—Nathanael—all dying, all dead, blood pooling out—she kicks the door again, and again. _If I go into labor—_

The wood splinters. Karren throws her weight against it, and the door shatters into sharp shards of wood. Karren staggers through. " _Chie!"_ The name scrapes her throat.

_Blood._

* * *

"What do you think of this design, Dad?" Shuu asks, peering at a brilliant purple onesie with rhinestones. "It's the color of royalty."

"It's beautiful," his father agrees. Bags hang from both their arms, heavy with gifts Shuu plans to spoil his daughter with.

"I'll get it. But I'll have it altered to have diamonds instead of rhinestones." _Only the best for Rosebud._ He hopes he's able to send her to the same schools. Now that everyone knows the Tsukiyamas are ghouls, though, there's always the question of whether that will be allowed by the time Rosebud's of school-age, though.

He hopes so.

"I wish your mother were here to see this," Dad says as they leave that store.

Shuu bites his lip. "I wish Karren's parents were around, too. At least I have you."

Dad nods. "They were good people."

"She misses them, even if she doesn't talk much about it," Shuu admits.

"They'd be proud of her. I know Emma," says Dad. "They'd be as proud of her as I am of you."

Shuu manages a smile. "I don't know how you did it."

"Did what?" asks Dad, the sunlight glinting off the plastic bags.

"Raised me by yourself."

"Servants," Dad answers.

He snorts. "Yeah, but if something were to happen to Karren, I don't know what I'd do. I love her so much it—" Shuu stops himself, chest tight. He's not used to speaking so freely, especially about something he's afraid of. "I'd die."

"You'd go on," his father says, looking at him with sympathy etched in his face, and grief.

 _You never did get over it, did you?_ Shuu wonders why he's never noticed until now. Shame creeps into the back of his neck. _But you kept going._

"Because of you," Dad says. "I saw her in you. And I loved you, too. You'll have your rosebud baby. And Karren would be able to make it if something were to happen to you, too. Plus, you have everyone in Goat. You are all practically family. I must say, it's heartening to see."

Shuu sighs.

"If Rosebud gives you half the headaches the Gourmet gave me, I will be half worried and half satisfied at the karma," Dad informs him, chuckling.

Shuu rolls his eyes. "She won't. She'll be perfect." Of course, she won't be, but she'll be perfect for him. He pulls out his phone. _Rosebud has a series of onesies to grow into her entire first year,_ he texts.

There's no response. _Karren must be napping,_ Shuu tells himself as he and his father stop for coffee.

But his conversation with his dad lingers, and Shuu calls her.

No answer.

* * *

"You answer that phone and I will kill her," comes the sickly sweet whisper. "Losing her throat would be a death sentence for any human. And most ghouls, but not you, from what I've heard."

Dark hair hangs shiny over a pale cheekbone. Furuta smiles up at Karren, blood smeared around his mouth, shockingly crimson. Chie slumps in front of him, her shoulder streaming from the chunk Furuta's taken out of it.

Shuu's ringtone dies down. Karren's heart thumps. "Let her go."

"No." Furuta gets to his feet as Chie whimpers. "She won't hack into Goat for me, so I'll—"

"Well duh," Karren snaps. "She's part of Goat. An integral part."

Furuta rolls his eyes, dragging Chie closer to Karren. "You look ready to pop."

Karren's kagune emerges, threatening, but she can't strike. Not with his teeth so dangerously close to Chie's carotid artery.

"Would you choose Chie or your baby?" asks Furuta, tapping his finger on Chie's cheek and leaving bloodstains. "Or Shuu?"

"I'm not making that choice," Karren snaps. Her back tenses. She grits her teeth.

"You lost to Eto," Furuta reminds her with a hearty laugh. "I don't think you can win against me."

"Where the hell have you been this whole time? Stewing in your failure? We've been out creating a better world and more lives. Literally."

"It won't last. Everything you've done is precarious." Furuta drags his finger through the blood the Chie's shoulder. " _Life_ is precarious."

"You're not going to let me leave," Karren says.

"Nope," Furuta agrees cheerfully.

Karren's eyes catch Chie's. _Read my mind, human._

"Also remove that kagune, if you don't mind."

Karren lashes out, her kagune slicing at Furuta's head. Chie kicks her legs back, driving them into Furuta's balls. _Solid_.

Furuta leaps up, his own kagune flying out. He doesn't aim for Chie, who charges for Karren. It surges parallel to Chie. Karren ducks, and it slices through her shoulder, almost severing her arm. She screams.

Pain jams through her midsection. She feels like she's being split in half, but her body's still intact. Chie grabs her. Blood soaks both their shirts. Furuta laughs and pulls his kagune back.

A crash.

Glass shards streak across the floor. Furuta whirls around as Juuzou leaps through the window, Hanbee and Nakarai rushing through the door, the rest of his squad through the window after Juuzou. Miza appears after them, pregnant and with her kagunes still slicing.

* * *

" _Tsukiyama!"_ bellows Kaneki.

Shuu whirls around, people in the mall stopping to stare. Marble floors glint and the transparent ceiling reveals a glowing sun, and yet he still feels cold. _Yes, yes, you've all heard of me._ He fixes them with a smirk, even though he's exhausted. His phone sits heavy in his pocket. _Karren—_

"It's Chie!" Kaneki pants, grabbing Shuu by his shoulders. Dad blanches. "She sent an encrypted message—Furuta's at her place—"

"Furuta?" bellows Dad.

Shock courses through Shuu. _And—"Karren was supposed to see Chie today!_ " he screams.

"Juuzou and his squad were closest, plus Miza; Takizawa, Yasuhisa, and Ayato are on their way," Kaneki reports. "Basically everyone is on their way."

Shuu yanks out his phone, dialing Karren again. His father wraps his arms around Shuu's shoulders as he hustles them out of there, barking orders for their driver to meet them around the front.

No answer. Shuu swears, the words ripping his throat. He doubles over as the driver speeds away. Kaneki moans.

"How did we not know he was back in the country?" shouts Dad.

"Maybe he never left!" Kaneki cracks his knuckles. "We don't know—" Kaneki's phone bursts into song. He turns it on speaker. "Hello?"

"It's me," says Akira. "Furuta escaped—we have ambulances coming—"

"Who's hurt?" Shuu screams.

"Oh great, you found him. Chie's bleeding pretty badly—he took a chunk from her shoulder—Karren was injured too but her body's healing—Shuu, the shock's sent her into labor—she stabbed him with her kagune right before Juuzou got there—Shuu, she's _going to be okay_ —Kimi's going to meet you at the hospital—"

"How bad is it?" Panic sizzles through him like lightning.

"Her body's got crazy regeneration abilities, as you and Kaneki know well. She'll be okay."

 _So, it was bad_. Kaneki cringes. Shuu feels as if he's going to be sick. He doubles over. _Karren_.

A groan echoes in the background. "Is that her?" he demands.

"Yes, Shuu, she's in _labor_. It _really hurts,_ as I can tell you from experience." Akira swears. "I have to go. The Quinx kids are chasing him and might've spotted him. Hairu and Ui are working with the local police to set up parameters."

Kaneki sucks in his breath.

"Labor does hurt," Dad says, gripping Shuu's shoulder. "Your mother was in labor for almost two days with you."

"Two days?" Shuu gapes up at his father.

"I doubt it will be that long. Karren's strong, Shuu. She'll be okay. And it was worth it when you came out."

 _Sorry, Mom,_ Shuu thinks. His mind churns and churns. "I'll kill that bastard," he vows, knowing his eyes have darkened.

When they arrive, he sprints out of the car even before it comes to a stop. Juuzou waves at him. Shuu ignores him as he rushes into the house. The door's shredded wood. Paramedics carry Chie down the stairs on a stretcher, blood soaking her shoulder. "Shuu," she croaks.

He turns to gape.

"Karren saved my life," Chie chokes out.

Shuu nods and ducks inside. Kurona kneels by Karren's head. Blood drenches her side, and Karren's eyes bulge in pain. She gasps when she sees him, her hand shooting out to grab his wrist.

His chest heaves. "You're okay," he sobs. Tears stream down his face as he drops beside her, almost impaling himself on the remains of the wood. "I was so—I'm so sorry—"

Karren presses her head into his shoulder, shuddering. Miza stands guard.

Paramedics—human paramedics—rush in with another stretcher. They skid to a halt at the sight of them.

"What are you waiting for?" snaps Akira. "She's a patient. Ghoul, yes, but a patient. And she needs to go to the hospital because she's in labor. Get her in the ambulance!"

Shuu considers baring his teeth and hissing, but the paramedics get to work, loading Karren onto the stretcher. Dad watches his eyes wide. "Good luck," he tells Shuu, squeezing his shoulder one last time before Shuu hops in the back of the ambulance.

* * *

Pain's a black tunnel. Pain's familiar.

Karren remembers having her eyelids sewn open, her mouth sewn shut. She remembers losing her head thanks to Kaneki. She remembers realizing she was all alone, every comment carving her family's death into her skin.

This pain crushes her from the inside out. It's all she can do to keep from screaming. _Is Rosebud even okay? I lost a lot of blood…_ More leaks through her, soaking her pants. Shuu holds her hand, and then there's a crack and he's gasping, because apparently she squeezed hard enough to break his.

"It'll heal," he chokes out, offering her his other hand.

 _You're too nice_. The contractions bite down again. And then they're at the hospital, and Kimi appears over her and bright emergency room lights, and she's wheeled past humans like she is one of them, and Kimi's yelling about getting a monitor so she can check the baby.

"You're really dilated," Kimi tells her. "You're going to have a fast labor, Karren."

 _Oh good._ Because she doesn't think she can take this pain much longer.

"The baby's in a good position and her heart rate seems good," Kimi adds. "She's fine."

Tears prick Karren's eyes. Shuu lets out a sigh of relief.

It's only a few hours before Kimi's telling her to push, but pushing takes longer than Karren thought. Everything feels like it's on fire, like it's burning and charring and tearing and she's trapped in her body. Shuu presses her shoulders, insisting she's doing fine, but Karren can't believe that.

"Okay," Kimi says at last. "Karren, you have three more tries to get this baby out, or I'm going to take you for a c-section."

"What?"

"It's been almost three hours of pushing," Kimi snaps. "You have three more tries, Karren. You're close, but sometimes the baby's too big and I don't like to leave things this long, okay? These things happen. You were injured earlier and your body's tired."

 _I don't want a c-section._ Karren grits her teeth. Everything within her wants to collapse, except for this unbearable pressure in her abdomen.

"Either way, we'll have Rosebud soon," Shuu tells her, his hair hanging around his cheekbones. His eyes are wet as he looks at her, rubbing her face with his thumb. "It's okay."

"Push," Kimi orders.

Karren pushes. She feels as if she could vomit, but there's nothing in her stomach.

"Again," Kimi says. "You're almost there—I think you can do this, Karren. Breathe for a sec, then again."

She gulps in air. _Help me_. Shuu supports her as she bears down.

"One more!" Kimi shouts.

 _My last chance._ A scream pours from Karren's throat, and then she hears her daughter crying, and Shuu's tears fall on her face as he leans over, kissing Karren again and again and again, on her cheeks and her nose and her lips and her temples. Kimi presses their daughter in her arms, her skin bare against Karren's. The baby has a thin wasp of purple hair.

"Your nose," Shuu chokes out, crouching next to her.

"Your ears," Karren whispers.

"She'll be Tsukiyama Rose," Shuu says. "I can't call her anything else. And I want to honor your family, too."

Karren lifts her lips to kiss him, and then they both shower their whimpering daughter with kisses on her chubby cheeks, her soft hair. Her fingers close around Karren's index finger, and she cries.

_I love you, baby Rose._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Kaneki worries that Furuta will move against Touka next, the old king and owl reappear, and Hairu and Ui get the shock of their lives.


	16. Catatonic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Touka!"

She whirls around, the tangerine sunlight beating down on the pavement, on her. Kaneki barrels towards her, never so relieved to see her in her apron and blouse, hair blowing around her face as she hauls trash outside. "You heard?"

"We heard," Touka confirms. "We closed :re for the afternoon. I called Hinami; she and Ryouko are fine and still at Goat's headquarters."

Kaneki nods.  _What if he had come here?_

Touka lets out her breath and wraps her arms around him. "At least we know he's in Tokyo."

"For now. He almost killed Chie—probably would have if Karren hadn't shown up." Kaneki swallows.  _She's okay. She's okay._

_There's no way to keep everyone safe. Even now._

"Shirazu, Saiko, and Hsiao are on their way to guard Urie and Tooru and the twins at the hospital," Touka says. "Tsukiyama's with Karren, and his father will help protect them, too. I ordered Higemaru and Aura to protect Chie."

Kaneki's shoulders slump. "Thanks."

"Yomo and Uta are spending the night at Hinami and Ayato's just in case, and Seidou and Kurona are crashing at Amon and Akira's. I think people are feeling like there's safety in numbers. Ui and Hairu are insisting they're fine, though. Naki volunteered to come here, but I told him to go protect Yoriko and Takeomi instead, and I presume Miza will stay with him. Juuzou and his squad and Shinohara are all with Nishiki and Mie. I imagine Hide will come here."

"It's not sustainable," Kaneki admits.  _I wish it were… I wish we could all burrow down, be safe forever_. His hands stretch out to press Touka's stomach, still flat.

But they have to take risks.

"I know," Touka says, pulling back and slipping her arm around him.

Kaneki's phone buzzes at the same time Touka's starts chirping. She groans. "Ayato changed it to a bird call sound and now every time I hear it I think one's about to land on my head."

"I'd chase them away," Kaneki teases as they head back inside. Tsukiyama's texted the Goat group chat a photo of himself, Karren, his father, and a sweet bundle in Karren's arms.  _Three generations_ , he captions it.

"How long until Urie responds with  _my kids are cuter?"_  Touka wonders, locking the door behind her.

"3…2…1…"

Touka laughs. "She is really cute, though."

"She is." Kaneki texts congratulations.

"I'm surprised you came back."

"There's nothing we can really do. He's vanished again. He's like a ghost."  _He haunts us._

Kanou is dead, and he was worse, but Furuta is unpredictable, and that's terrifying. Especially now that Kaneki's going to have a kid to worry about. He rubs his forehead.

"Hinami also said she's lending you that pregnancy book you gave her," Touka says as she boils water for coffee. The rich aroma seeps through the air. Kaneki exhales, trying to relax. "Though Ayato said it was useless but you'd probably get something out of it anyways, because you're you." She smirks, and Kaneki knows it was a direct quote.

He kisses her right as Hide rings the doorbell. "Dammit."

Touka winks. "Later."

Reality crashes down the moment he sees Hide's anxious face.  _We're really, really screwed._

_And if we don't find him soon, next time someone will actually die._

* * *

_How are you doing?_

Hairu peers at her phone.  _From Touka._  The barista ghoul keeps trying.  _We're fine,_ she texts back.

In Goat's group chat, she finds pictures of Tsukiyama Rose. She  _is_  adorable. Hairu pulls herself into a sitting position from where she's sprawled on the couch.  _How are you feeling?_  she asks Touka.

 _I really don't feel all that different yet_ , Touka responds.  _It's strange._

 _Maybe not so strange,_  Hairu thinks. Her hand drifts towards her stomach.  _Can I tell her? Would she tell Kaneki, or anyone?_

"Who are you texting?" Ui asks as he comes back into their apartment, the aroma of cigarette smoke clinging to him.

"Touka," Hairu responds. It'd be nice to have more friends beyond just the Quinx, Hirako, and Suzuya Squad. And Touka did offer the day Amon and Akira announced their engagement. "I can't believe Furuta went after Hori Chie."

"He probably figured she was the person with the least protection," Ui responds, dropping on the couch next to her. He interlaces his fingers with hers, a dark look on his face.

"Do you have any idea what he'll do next?" Hairu questions, tucking her legs under her.

Ui gulps and shakes his head, "He's always been unpredictable." His head lowers, still crippled by shame.

 _It's not easy waking up and realizing that everything you were taught to fight for is wrong_. Or that what you were taught was evil runs in your veins, and as much as Hairu had always told herself her human side won out in her mother's womb, that she was different, she was no different at all. "You feel like a fool for having ever respected him?" Hairu inquires.

Ui stiffens. She snorts and then wraps her arms around him—too tightly, and he'll notice and start squirming in a moment and she'll like it. "It's okay. I feel like a fool for hating ghouls for so long, especially when—you know." When Ui found out about her parentage, she remembers the look of horror on his face—horror of her that quickly changed into horror of himself.

Ui threw away his scrapbooks from the time he worked under Furuta in some kind of penitence, although Hairu rescued them from the trash and keeps them hidden away.

Ui opens his mouth, and then shuts it. He narrows his eyes as Hairu squeezes tighter. "You're going to break my ribs."

"No I won't!" Hairu drops her arms.

Ui laughs. Hairu throws her legs over his lap. "Now you still can't move."

Ui rolls his eyes.

" _I_  still love you, you know," she whispers, her breath tickling his ear. Hairu runs her hands through his hair, and he gets that look on his face that she adores: the one where his eyes widen and his lips pull back, as if he still can't believe she loves him.

Her stomach rumbles and she remembers yet again.

_I'm late._

_Is there something about being related to ghouls that makes birth control fail?_

"Want some melon buns I picked up earlier, before Furuta blew the day apart?" Hairu asks, hopping to her feet and skipping towards the kitchen.  _Sex later._

"Yes," Ui calls as he follows.

 _How will you react if it does turn out that I'm pregnant_? Hairu wonders. She pulls out the bag and tosses one to Ui, chomping into the sweet bread. She lets out a contented sigh. "Nom."

"They want to talk more about it," Ui blurts out. "They want me to talk more about it, I mean. About Furuta."

Hairu nods, filling a glass with milk. "Makes sense."

"I just—" Ui swallows. "This is supposed to be—working for Goat is—my atonement, and yet I can't ever—" His cheeks redden, as if remembering his sins crushes him.

"Escape it? Transcend it?" Hairu rolls her eyes. "I mean, I was the one who got excited about killing ghouls when I'm only half-human, so." She frowns. "What if we had Amon and Akira and the baby over for dinner sometime?"

"Amon couldn't eat."

"I bet he'd still come. Or we could just have them for coffee. Or Touka and Kaneki." Hairu slides a glass of milk over to Ui and swing herself up onto the counter, kicking her legs. "But I know you like that baby."

Ui manages a smile. "He is pretty cute."

"And he likes you."

"That too," Ui admits. When Akira and Amon bring the baby to work, he had a crying fit one day that only calmed down when Ui held him.

The doorbell chimes. Hairu leaps to her feet. Ui reaches behind the counter to grab his quinque, the one he keeps just in case. Hairu skitters towards the door, peering through the eyehole. Her jaw drops.

"Hairu?" Ui questions.

"It's Arima!" Hairu shrieks, swinging the door open.  _You're back!_

"Hairu, he could be changing his face or—"

"I'm not," Arima assures them as he strides in.

"When did you get back to Tokyo?" yelps Hairu.  _And you came to see us?_  She peers around Arima. "Oh."

"Hello, Ihei," says a mint-haired woman. "I promise I'm not here to fight."

Ui's eyes darken as he approaches.

"I'm here to investigate with him," says Eto, jerking her thumb towards Arima. "And we maybe make a decent team. Investigating. And in bed."

Arima's face turns red. Ui cringes, and Hairu can only cringe even as she still wants to punch the woman. But if seeing Eto is the price for seeing Arima too, Hairu can swallow it. She glances at Ui. She admitted to him once that she used to have feelings for Arima. Ui said he didn't care then, and he still looks up to Arima like he's his big brother. Hairu smiles to see that gleam reflecting in Ui's eyes.

_I liked him because he was kind._

_And I enjoyed killing ghouls because I wanted to impress him._

She impresses Ui in other ways, and as for kindness— _Touka's been nothing but kind to me._ Hairu taps out a text to her.  _Can we get coffee sometime? We can get decaf._ Since Touka's pregnant.  _I might need decaf too._  Hairu gulps. Ui frowns at her, clearly noticing her spacey-ness.

"I heard everything went crazy today," Arima says, as Ui shuts the door. "Furuta—"

"He's here," Ui interrupts. "He'll be coming for—someone else. Probably soon."

"We have reason to believe he's been in Tokyo for at least the past year and a half," Arima says as Ui gestures for him to sit down on their soft beige couch. Hairu darts around making coffee. Even if she has to give some to that witch. Eto smirks as Hairu meets her eyes: Eto knows her presence is unsettling, and she relishes it.

Hairu hands over the coffee, taking a seat in an armchair and curling her legs up. Eto cocks her head, studying Hairu. "What?"

"You smell extra human," Eto tells her. "Like you're more than one human."

Hairu sets her coffee down with a clank.  _Extra—_

"Congratulations," Eto says, beaming.

Arima's jaw drops. Hairu's face burns.

"Wait, what?" Ui croaks. His hands clutch his knees so hard his arms are shaking.

"Oops," says Eto, tossing her hair.

"Fuck off," Hairu snarls at her. "I haven't even taken a test yet—"

"You don't need to. You smell like two people."

"Hairu?" Ui looks over at her, gasping, gaping, eyes bulging. "Is—is she saying what I think she's saying?"

 _Are you upset?_  "I haven't taken a test!"

"But you're late," Eto supplies.

Arima covers his face and possibly his ears.

"Yes," Hairu snaps. "I'm late. And it's none of your business!"

"Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Ui demands.

"I was going to tell you tonight!"

Ui knocks his coffee onto the floor and doubles over, head between his knees. A wheezing sound emerges.

"Ui Koori," says Arima, shaking Ui's shoulder. "Hey! Ui!"

 _Are you actually having a panic attack?_ Hairu can feel tears welling in her own eyes, so she yanks out her phone and dials the first number she can think of.

"Hello?"

"Hirako? It's Hairu." She swallows to keep her voice from trembling.

"Hairu! Is there anything on—"

"No, nothing on Furuta." Hairu clears her throat and wipes at her eyes. "Arima and Eto are here. Apparently they're dating, or at least friends with benefits. Who the hell knows. Can you bring your dog over here like right now? It's an emergency."

"What?" Hirako yelps. "Hairu, what is—"

"Ui's having a panic attack and you need to help snap him out of it because I'm pissed off." Her voice breaks.  _This is not the reaction I needed, Ui Koori!_

_Are you disgusted with me?_

_With the fact that you're fathering a quarter-ghoul child_?

Eto's eyes gleam as she drinks in the chaos.

"Breathe," Arima tells Ui.

"Hairu—" Ui chokes out. "I'm sorry—I—"

"Save it." Hairu storms out of the room, dialing Kimi. "Hi. It's Ihei Hairu."

"Hi," says Kimi, sounding exhausted.  _Oh right,_  she just delivered a baby. "Is there news?"

"Not about Furuta." Hairu grips her phone.

"Oh." Kimi laughs. "I almost had a heart attack when I saw your number."

 _Because I never call_. Hairu swallows. "When things are calmer—and when you've had enough rest—can you give me a—a kind of test?"

A pause, and then a disbelieving laugh. "You better not be asking for a pregnancy test."

Hairu's quiet.

"Oh man," says Kimi. "Yes. Of course I can, Hairu."

She nods even though Kimi can't see her, a lump in her throat. "Thank you." She steps into their bedroom. "I'm calling Touka," she yells before slamming the door. She could use some pregnancy advice.

Hairu closes her eyes against the back of the door.  _I'm really pregnant, aren't I?_

* * *

"Ui. Ui Koori. What the hell."

"For someone who cares so much about doing the right thing, you're really fucking things up right now!"

Ui pries his eyes open. Hirako's dog lies at his feet, tail happily waving back and forth. Ui blinks and takes in Hirako's face. Arima watches him, brow pinched in concern, while Eto flits about in the background. "Sorry," he chokes out.

"So," Hirako says, managing a slight laugh. "You're going to be a father."

Ui gulps, leaning forward again. Everything crashes down his back, cuts his spine— _I hated ghouls, I wanted them all to die, I thought it was right, Furuta's smile_ —

"Calm down, Ui," Arima says. "You need to calm down. Hairu's upset."

 _As she should be. I'm already failing her._  Ui wants to cry. "I'm going—to have to tell my kid someday that I hated ghouls when they're part ghoul. They're going to wonder. Kids wonder. And—"

"Hairu is no different," Arima points out. "And Kaneki—whom I love like a child—loves me even though I wasn't particularly fair to him. And he's having a baby with a ghoul when he knows I killed ghouls. My specialty was killing ghouls,  _killing_  really, because it was all the same; it was all murder."

Ui wipes at his eyes. "But I—"  _Why do I keep screwing up?_

"What about forgiveness?" trills Eto. Hirako scowls up at her.

"What are you talking about?" snaps Ui.

"I don't see much use for it myself, but you should probably work towards forgiving yourself for all of that. Kaneki has, mostly. Amon, too."

 _We've all been hypocrites._ The more Ui tried to walk the narrow path, the more he found it rescinding to a tight rope that ended up hanging him. He gulps.

The bedroom door creaks open. Hairu sniffles as she exits. "Have you snapped out of your catatonic state yet?"

"H-Hairu," Ui manages, leaping to his feet. "I—"

"Do you want this baby?" Hairu demands, her eyes as pink as her hair.

Hirako and Arima both look at him with murder in their eyes.

 _I hurt you._  Ui's chest aches. "More than anything," he insists. "I'm just—scared."  _That I won't be a good father. That I'm not capable of being a good father._

_But I want our son or daughter._

"Good," says Hairu, and she bursts into tears and wraps her arms around him, accepting him. Forgiving him.

Ui's breath releases, and he holds her.  _I love you. Part ghoul and all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Fruit-chan returns with a new, far more vulnerable target.


	17. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Two weeks pass, and there's no sign of Furuta. Arima and Eto work at Goat, though Eto's more of an associate than an employee because Tsukiyama will never forgive her for torturing Karren. Touka feels as if she's living on a perpetual slope than at any second could tilt more, tossing everyone over the edge. Kaneki tosses and turns at night, when he actually comes to bed. Other times, he stays awake, researching and making phone calls. Sleep escapes Touka, as well. Her fingers rest on her stomach as Kaneki rolls over next to her.

_Will you have to live afraid, too?_

Another week passes, and Touka meets up with Hairu for coffee. Hairu and Ui still aren't telling many people yet, as a pregnancy between a half-human and a human has never been monitored before, and both of them are nervous. Kimi told Hairu she's due in November.

"It seems so far away," laments Hairu.

Touka can't relate. To her, it seems like time's ticking faster and faster, and even though she's not even showing yet, their baby will be here before they know it. And yet she still can't quite believe it. "I better get going."

"Where are you off to?" Hairu questions, finishing her creamy latte.

"Hinami's," Touka admits. "She's planning Ryouko's first birthday celebration tomorrow. Akira will be there too, and Kurona and Juuzou."

"Could I come?" Hairu asks, fiddling with her cup. "I don't have much to finish at the office today."

Touka breaks into a smile.  _You really do want to move past this, don't you?_

 _Your kid's gonna be in good hands._  "Of course."

Hairu grins. She chatters about everything—butterflies, a kid crying over an ice cream cone, the weather—as they walk over.

"Hey, Touka," Hinami greets them, heaving Ryouko into her arms. "Catch. And Hairu!"

"Hi," Hairu chirps. "I was wondering if I could help?"

"Of course." Hinami hesitates, and then wraps her in a hug. "There's always more to do."

Touka laughs, cradling Ryouko. "You're getting so big!"

"Seriously," Akira says, crouching on the floor with her son, who sits on the blanket Juuzou made for him. "They grow so fast."

Touka drops onto the couch with Ryouko. Her niece coos and reaches for Touka's hair, grabbing a fistful. Touka winces. "I can't feel the baby move yet, and I won't be showing for another few weeks."

"Kimi did do an ultrasound, didn't she?" calls Hinami as she sets up streamers.

Touka nods and pulls out the sonogram image. Kaneki cried when they saw the baby.

"I remember when Amon and I saw Seidou for the first time with the sonogram," Akira says, giving Touka a knowing smile. "It didn't feel real."

Hairu watches with eyes wide. Touka wonders when she and Ui will tell everyone. Kaneki's already congratulated them, but promised to keep it to himself.

Kurona rolls her eyes. "Touka, Kaneki and Yoriko are baking for the human guests, right?"

"Well,  _I'm_ definitely not doing it, so yes. Tooru says he might make something too, but I doubt he has time."

"He's got four week old twins; if he has time to breathe I'd be amazed." A smile lightens Kurona's face, but her eyes blink rapidly. Juuzou clutches the rag he's been dusting with and lowers his head.

"Actually, maybe we could bring Tooru something," Hinami says with a frown. "Or go over and offer to help after this. Ayato said Shirazu said both Tooru and Urie are exhausted. Tsukiyama and Karren at least have servants. And only one baby." She gathers up some picture books lying on the floor. "It was hard for me and Ayato."

"Let's do it," Touka says, wondering how hard it will be for her and Kaneki. Sleep won't happen, she's sure of that. It'd be just their luck to get a fussy baby. Not that Touka's complaining.

After they finish cleaning, Juuzou heads off to Yoriko's bakery to purchase donuts for himself and his squad—since they all share an apartment now—and waves as he darts away. Everyone else—even Hairu—heads over to Tooru and Urie's. Hairu texts Ui to let him know. Touka peers over her shoulder to see Ui send a thumbs-up emoji in response.

"Oh wow," Tooru says, eyes enormous when he sees all of them gathered at the door. "Come in."

"Why hello," calls Karren from the couch, where she sits with baby Rose. Mie crawls along the floor. Kimi waves at them as she holds Isamu.

"Kimi came over just to check on them," Tooru admits. "Mie, get that out of your mouth!" He drops to the floor and wrestles a paper clip away from the baby.

 _This is what I have to look forward to._  Touka clutches her skull as Seidou starts to cry and Akira bounces him on her hip. What looks like a new painting Urie must have done of Isamu and Chiasa sits on the wall.  _Pretty_.

"How much sleep are you getting?" Hinami asks Tooru.

"Isamu sleeps pretty well, or at least he would if Chiasa wasn't waking up crying every hour," Tooru admits, reaching down into a swinging cradle to pick up his daughter. "And then  _he_  wakes up, and it's a never-ending cycle."

"I don't know how my parents did it," Kurona admits, wide-eyed.

Tooru presses his cheek down on Chiasa's dark purple hair and closes his eyes.

 _You're happy,_  Touka thinks.  _Even if they're exhausting you, you're happy._

 _What will you look like?_  She pulls out the sonogram image again, studying the white against black. Karren demands to see it and she hands it over, wondering if the baby will have her hair, or Kaneki's, or some kind of combination like how Mie has Kimi's hair color but Nishiki's untamable waves.  _Whose eyes? Whose nose?_

Someone knocks on the door. Touka reaches out to take Isamu from Kimi so that Kimi can pick up her own daughter, who lets out a cry of dismay as Kurona snatches away the paper clip again. Mie crawls towards the door. Isamu's nose wrinkles as he studies Touka.  _Don't cry. Don't cry_. Her heart thumps.  _Am I scary?_

"We met with Shirazu's sister last week, so she could meet Isamu, and Chiasa," Tooru says quietly.

"How did that go?"

"Well—"

Akira screams.

Touka whirls around. Akira stumbles back. Isamu screams now too, and Karren leaps to her feet.

Furuta bursts through the door, throwing confetti. Pink and blue balloons float through the air. " _Congratulations!"_

* * *

"What. The. Fuck?" asks Karren. She watches as Tooru trembles, taking a step back.

"You're not welcome," says Hinami.

"Go back to hell," snaps Kurona.

"No one's going anywhere," Furuta croons, his kagune slipping out. "Party" glasses glitter on his face.

 _Mie's right in front of him._  Karren hesitates, Rose in her arms.

Kimi lunges for her daughter. Furuta's kagune snaps out, slaps her back, throwing her to the ground.

"Oh, hell no!" shouts Touka. Furuta snatches Mie. Kimi lets out a cry as she gets to her feet, nose dripping blood.

"If you so much as scratch her skin, I will tear you apart," Karren threatens.  _Oh God, oh God, oh God._

"You tried that a few weeks ago. You failed." Furuta snickers, rocking Mie back and forth. Kimi's mouth hangs open in horror. "I must say, you're looking thinner. Rose has Tsukiyama's hair, doesn't she?"

Karren draws her daughter against her chest, covering her with her hand.  _You don't get to look at her. You don't get to say her name._

Furuta's eyes sweep Touka up and down. "So the one-eyed king has an heir?"

 _How can you tell_? All of their kagunes hover in the air and Akira holds Seidou in one arm and her gun in the other, but everyone's afraid to actually act.  _He has Mie._ Tooru steps in front of Hairu, who may be unarmed but adopts a fighting stance anyways.

"Haven't lost your mind yet, have you, Tooru? How does it feel to have two kids to raise when you killed your own brother?"

"Shut up!" Akira barks.

"Leave him alone," cries Hairu.

"Yeah, and I wanted to feed Tooru to Shuu," Karren snaps. "Shuu tried to eat Kimi. Touka killed Akira's dad. Akira's dad killed Hinami's parents. Touka's boyfriend tried to kill me. Hairu killed people I care about. Akira tried to kill Naki and he tried to kill her. I'm pretty sure I'm leaving a lot out, too, and that's just directly involving the people in this room. Everyone in Goat's tried to kill someone else and more likely almost everyone at one point." Her chest burns.

Tooru trembles. Akira lowers her gun.  _What are you doing, Akira?_

"Give Mie back," Hinami requests. "Furuta."

"No."

"Give her back!" Kimi shouts, wiping blood off her face. Touka's lips pull back in a snarl. Rose screams and screams, and terror stabs Karren.

_I can't promise her it will be all right._

Karren remembers her parents, and her brothers.

_I'd die for any of these kids._

"No," Furuta repeats. "Why would I? I set this whole thing up."

"How? Confetti and a celebration for a death party?" snaps Touka, her kakugans emerging.

"No," says Furuta, tapping his finger against his chin. Mie wails, struggling to get away from him. Her fists flail and her heels fly into his ribs.

 _Good. Kick him harder_ , Karren thinks.

"Didn't it occur to any of you that it's rather intriguing that so many of you go pregnant unexpectedly within such quick succession?"

"No," retorts Karren. At least, it's never been a question for her. Kimi pales.

"Oh shit," says Akira. "You did  _not!"_

"It's rather easy to mess with birth control—contact that pharmacist, who already hates ghouls, and get him to mess with your pills," Furuta says. "Just had to add a compound that would make them ineffective for ghouls. And now we have a baby born to a ghoul and a human right here—" He lifts Mie. "Two born to two Quinxes—that was lucky, I might add—"

Tooru looks as if he's about to go berserk on Furuta. Karren wouldn't mind, except that she knows Tooru will regret it later.

"Two born to a half-ghoul and a human—well, soon to be two," he says, nodding at Touka. "Plus three ghoul babies just thrown in," Furuta concludes, a manic grin exploding over his face.

 _Just thrown in?_  Karren's almost offended. Hinami's eyes narrow. At least Miza isn't here to listen to this blasphemy.

"Too bad it never worked out to have two half-ghouls have a baby," he finishes, looking at Kurona. "Or for the half-human and human to have a baby."

Hairu scowls, folding her arms across her abdomen. Karren narrows her eyes.

"Do you realize how  _messed up_  this is?" Hinami cries out. "You—tried to—"

"You got rid of the Oggai—"

"They're in rehabilitation centers and most of them are doing extremely well!" barks Tooru. "We're taking the twins to visit Hajime next week!"

"What better way to destroy the world you're trying to build? Even if I had to play around to start it. Either you'd destroy each other, your relationships would fall apart, or I'd sweep in and destroy what you were trying to build. Don't worry, killing babies isn't my style, but as for raising them—"

"You're not taking Mie and you're not taking any of our kids anywhere," Akira vows. Fury bleeds into her tone.

* * *

_"You can't fight me," a male voice points out. "And none of you will, not while I have Mie."_

"Wait, what?" Amon asks into his phone. "Is that who I think it is? Akira!"

She doesn't respond.

_"What do you want?" Kimi shrieks. "I'll go with you—I have research, we can do experiments—don't hurt—don't—"_

"Shit!" Amon bellows, leaping to his feet and sending his rolling chair flying back into a wall. Papers scatter across his desk.

"You okay?" asks Seidou Takizawa as he passes by, a cup of coffee in his hand.

Amon shakes his head frantically, waving his free arm. "Get Kaneki! Get Nishiki!"

"Nishiki's at :re," calls Urie, sticking his head out of his office. "If there's a—"

"Furuta's with Akira! And Kimi!" Amon screams, hitting speakerphone.

_A laugh rips through the air. "It's too late for negotiations."_

"Please!" _Kimi screams._

Ui leaps over his desk. Kaneki races out from his office, Shirazu, Saiko, Hsiao, Aura, and Higemaru behind him. Hide bursts out the stairwell carrying a pizza box. He freezes at the identical masks of terror on everyone's face.

 _"So what is your plan?" demands Kurona's voice._  Seidou turns as white as his hair.  _"There are eight of us and one of you. You don't want to get out of this alive, do you?"_

"Eight?" whispers Ui, tapping his fingers.

_"He wants to take out as many people as he can with him," Touka growls._

"What's going on?" asks Miza, appearing with Naki from the stairwell. Her nose wrinkles at the pizza smell.

"Furuta's—he's got them!" shrieks Saiko, and Naki gasps. Miza's kagune emerges.

"Where are they?" Kaneki shouts as they all scramble down the stairs. Saiko curses as she dials Juuzou.

"I don't know!" Fear gnaws at Amon's chest. He can't breathe. He coughs.  _If Akira's there, Seidou's with her—I can't lose both of them._

"They're at Tooru's!" Ui shouts. "Hairu told me—"

"Hairu's there too?" Amon cries out.

"Yes, and she's pregnant!" Ui clutches his face. "I can't—lose her—"

"Wait, Hairu too?" shrieks Miza.

They burst outside, and the warm air feels like an abomination. The weather has no right to be so tranquil, so calm, the sky so blue and the sun so generous when Amon might be about to lose the two people most important to him.

A baby screams, and Urie claps his hand to his forehead, green spilling into his cheeks. "That's my daughter!" He turns to look at them all, agony in his eyes. "Tooru—"

"Kaneki, call Arima!" Seidou orders.

"I'm already on it!" Shirazu shouts.

Saiko yells into her phone. "Meet us there!" She hangs up. "Juuzou says he's heading over with Ayato, Tsukiyama, Nishiki, Yomo, Uta, Itori, and basically everyone else."

They split into two cars, Saiko and Urie and the rest of the Quinx, and Ui, Amon, Seidou, Hide, and Kaneki in another. Naki and Miza take the motorcycle they gave Marude once. Marude texts Kaneki that he'll contact the police and the prime minister.

"I'm driving!" Hide barks. "Get in the back, Kaneki."

Amon rocks back and forth, clutching his cross, listening to the people he cares most about in the world try to negotiate with a madman.

_Or just a man who's lost everything, even himself._

_"Why did you do this?" Tooru rasps._

_"Because I wanted to see your reactions," says Furuta with a giggle._  Mie cries, and then Amon hears his son crying, and his lungs seize. He doubles over as Hide speeds through a red light.  _"It's fun to study, isn't it? Nishino, you study the differences in all these pregnancies, don't you?"_

_"I am nothing like you," Kimi seethes. "I study to try and help, not—"_

_"And what if you uncover something that hurts, rather than helps?"_

_"Leave her alone," Karren hisses._

"Oh shit," Kaneki moans. "So Rose has got to be there, too."

"We're not going to lose them!" Hide shouts. "I promise you—we're not losing any of them—"

_"Touka hasn't even had her baby yet," Akira points out. "So if you're looking to kidnap them, you're several months too early."_

_Why is this a point of discussion_? Amon is so confused.

_"After the incident with Tsukiyama's pet, I figured things were getting risky."_

_"She's not a pet; she's a friend!" Karren shoots back._

Amon clamps his hand over his mouth. They pull up by the curb. Hide doesn't bother to turn the car off as they race out.

Ayato rounds the corner, hair streaming behind him as he races. Yomo's behind him, and Nishiki, and Tsukiyama. Uta's kagune's already bursting out, and they're still on the street.

"He has Mie," Seidou bursts out. "He's holding her as a hostage, from what it sounds—"

Nishiki grips his hair as if he's going to tear it out.

"Karren's there!" Kaneki croaks. "They're all—there—"

"If that bastard thinks I'm letting him touch her again—" Shuu vows.

 _"I think it'd be interesting if you came along, Touka," Furuta opines._  Kaneki cracks his knuckles, his jaw clenched.

 _"You_ know _that's not going to happen," says Hinami._

_Furuta hums. "I'm taking this one."_

"No!" _Kimi screams._

"Hey!" Juuzou lunges for Amon as he barrels for the apartment building door. "No."

"We can't wait!" Urie screams.

" _Keep your fucking voice down!"_ Juuzou jabs his finger upwards.

 _Oh_.

A fire escape wraps around the building.

"Miza, you can't go up with us," Naki pleads.

"I'm pregnant, not dying, Naki!" Miza clenches her fists as she glares up. "These are—my  _friends_." Her voice trembles.

"Please don't!" cries Naki, grabbing her, his hands resting on her swollen stomach. "Or—come behind us, don't charge in—we can't—I can't—" His lips tremble. "Please, Miza. Let us—we can—we will—"

"We will save them," promises Ui, looking to Miza as he pulls out a Q gun.

She gulps and nods, stepping back. Her shoulders shake as she covers her eyes.

 _We won't let you down,_  Amon vows.

* * *

Urie hauls himself up the fire escape. It won't work for them to climb in through any of the windows in their apartment— _well, maybe…_  He turns to Kaneki, who's nodding as if he understands exactly what Urie's thinking.

"I'm on it," Saiko says. "Gather up, Quinx. We're gonna break into that bedroom and when you attack, we'll run out and try to protect the kids, okay? No matter what happens to us."

"Thank you," Urie ekes out. Because he knows Saiko and Shirazu will protect Tooru, too.

She nods. "It's going to be okay, Urie Kuki. They're all going to be okay, okay? Saiko promises you."

Hsiao's hand descends to grip Saiko's shoulder. Urie clutches the metal railway, and he remembers another time, another face, blood pouring over his hand—

"The neighbors across the hall," Urie manages. "We can get in through their apartment's fire escape entrance—then go through my front door—"

"If he's holding my daughter, what can we do?" Nishiki ekes out. "He'll hurt her—if we attack, he'll—"

"We can't try to kill him," Kaneki says. "Just stun him."

"How?"

Juuzou pulls out a Q gun, eyes darkening.

"You'll have sec—no,  _nanoseconds_  to make that shot," Amon warns.

"You think I can't do it?"

Urie wishes he could hold the gun himself, feel the cold metal assuring him that he's doing something, pull that trigger on the bastard himself.

 _If anyone can…_  Urie nods, a lump in his throat. Fear snakes through him, slicing and stripping his flesh like a barbed wire whip.

"And then what?" Nishiki snaps.

"One of the Quinx is going to have to rush him from the front while we rush from behind," Kaneki says. "And get Mie. I'll use my kagune to cut his—"

"We all will," vows Tsukiyama, his kakugans emerging.

 _We all look like ghouls_. Urie can feel his kakugan covering his eye as his kagune shoots forwards. Ui clutches his gun, a look of absolute fury on his face, and absolutely no disgust for the ghouls who are trying to save his girlfriend's life.  _And his baby's._

Juuzou sighs and cocks the Q gun. "Let's go."

_I'm coming, Tooru._

_We'll save our home._

* * *

"What will you do if the only way to stop me means endangering a child?" Furuta muses. "And how do you plan to explain this to Nishio, Nishino?"

"He'd blame  _you_ , asshole," Touka hisses.

Something clunks in the bedroom right behind Hinami. She holds her breath, Ryouko bawling in her arms and squirming, trying desperately to get down, but Hinami can't let her go. Not with this madman ready to kill them all.

"Not that I mind."

"We're aware," Karren says.

"You're insane," breathes Hairu.

Hinami swallows. Kurona's the only one with a kagune who's not holding a child, and judging by the tension in her shoulders, she knows it and she's ready to launch herself at Furuta.  _But Mie—_

The bedroom door slams open, Hinami shrieks, ducking to the ground and folding her body around Ryouko's. Her kagune flies out like a shield, koukaku wrapping around herself and Ryouko. Another door slams. A gunshot bangs. Someone slams into Hinami, and she gags. Ryouko screams.

"Sorry," gasps Hsiao's voice.

"Keep him down!" shouts Juuzou. Hinami cranes her neck just as another gunshot goes off.

A gun from Furuta's hand, aimed at Touka, who swings her ukaku to cover Isamu.

"No you don't!" Kurona's rinkaku flies out, taking the bullet. A flash of red hair rips Mie from Furuta's arms. A swarm comprised of Hanbee, Miyaki, Nakarai, and Tamaki leap on top of Furuta, wrestling him. Yomo's kagune surges towards the ghoul, pinning him in place. Uta uses his kagune to lock Furuta's arms above his head.

"That wasn't funny," Itori informs Furuta.

Kaneki flies towards Touka, and Nishiki—he clutches his daughter, sobbing, and Kimi races towards him.

" _Hinami! Ryouko!"_  Ayato flies towards them, and then he's there, arms wrapped around Hinami. She buries her face in his shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

She shakes her head. Ayato pulls Ryouko from her arms, examining the child. Relief surges over his face. "You're  _okay."_

Amon grabs Akira. Her phone clatters to the floor.

 _That's why you lowered your gun earlier, Akira,_ Hinami realizes.  _To call._

_You saved us._

Tsukiyama clings to Karren, and Urie crouches by Tooru, who sobs. Touka hands over a bawling, purple-faced Isamu to Urie, who looks as if he's trying not to puke all over the floor. Urie sobs too now, his mouth open, lips pulled back, chest heaving.

Seidou helps Kurona sit up. She moans and slumps forward. His fingers dig through her hair, pressing her face against his chest.

"Thank you," Hinami whispers as Furuta screams now, like a desperate toddler.

"Grow up," Juuzou says in disgust.

Tooru looks over Urie's shoulder, as if he's almost concerned. And then he turns away from Furuta's cry and focuses on his son and daughter.

Hinami breathes in Ayato's scent, leaning her face against his neck. Yomo marches around, asking if everyone's okay.

Ui reaches out, clutching Hairu's face. "Are you okay?"

Hairu nods and peers over Ui's shoulder at a still-flopping Furuta. "Guess what, Nimura?" she snarls. "I  _am_  pregnant. Too bad you don't get to include us in your sick plan."

"You are?" yelps Tooru.

"What's his sick plan?" Ayato asks, arms still tight around Hinami.

"He played with everyone's birth control," Hairu spits. It's probably a good thing she doesn't have a kagune, because if she did, Hinami's certain Furuta would be in pieces. As it is, Furuta's face swells red like Ryouko when she's overtired.

"The fuck?" asks Uta, looking as if he's equally disgusted and in awe.

The door bursts open again and Hinami jumps. Miza rushes in, and Arima appears with Eto behind him, all ready to strike. Naki runs to Miza, grabbing her in his arms and crying—they're  _both_  crying.

Arima's eyebrows rise. He removes his glasses. "It appears you all have this under control."

_It's over._

_It really might be over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Takizawa almost crashes his car and Eto drops some hints that go over Arima's head.


	18. Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Hasn't sunk in yet," Seidou whispers.

"I know," Kaneki muses, leaning back. They're all gathered in :re, watching the news anchors announce the capture of Furuta Nimura.  _Finally_.

Kimi has two black eyes from Furuta breaking her nose, but other than that, everyone's physically okay. Even Mie. Damn, Seidou can't imagine how terrified Nishiki must've been.

"There still might be a next time," says Karren, sitting on Tsukiyama's lap. Rose sleeps in the crook of Tsukiyama's arm. Mirumo leans against the counter, shaking his head. "The world is still an—iffy place."

"Tell me about it," mumbles Kurona.

God, when Seidou saw the gun go off and blood spurt and Kurona go down, he felt as if his heart was being squeezed until it would burst. He couldn't move. His vision blurred.

But she was fine. The bullet only hit her kagune, and her body healed itself.

"Thank you again," Tooru whispers, looking at Kurona as he gulps a cup of coffee.

Kurona shrugs. "I know what it's like to lose a twin. Wasn't going to let that happen to anyone else."

"I'm sorry," Juuzou tells her, voice etched with regret. Shinohara swallows. Hanbee puts his hand on Juuzou's shoulder.

Seidou clutches his cup of coffee, china edges digging into his thumbs. He's heard this story before, only once though, and only when Kurona was drunk. Although he's heard plenty about Shiro.

_I wish I could've met her._

_I wish I could've introduced Kurona to my parents. Mom would like her.  
_

"I know," Kurona says simply.

Juuzou nods. "I was cruel." He draws in his breath. "I didn't understand—until Shinohara—"

Kurona swallows. She and Juuzou may work together, but they don't interact much. "You were."

Amon tenses.

"Why?" Kurona demands. " _Why_  did you have to do it?" Her voice breaks. Seidou reaches out to hold her. She pushes his hands away.

Juuzou has no answer besides the one Seidou's had to live with every day:  _because at the end of it all, we were no better than ghouls._

It might be better for Kuro if he had a reason, but he doesn't.

Juuzou's lips tremble. He can't speak, and Kurona lets out a sob. This time she lets Seidou pulls her close, against his chest.

Kurona lifts her head, wiping at her nose. She fiddles with the ends of her hair. "Thank you for making that shot today."

Juuzou's eyebrows fly up and the red x's with them. Hanbee's jaw drops. Seidou gapes at his girlfriend. Ui rubs Hairu's shoulders. Everyone's quiet.

 _I... wow._ Seidou's never wanted to kiss her so much. Damn everyone around them.

"Not to be cliché," says Kaneki. "But Saiko and Hide have both been bugging me to remind everyone that while some in the world may hate us, we do have each other."

 _For now,_  Seidou can't help thinking. Today only reinforced how fragile all of them are.

But with Furuta gone…

 _We have a chance._  He holds up a glass of alcoholic blood. "To Goat."

"To Goat," everyone echoes. Kurona gulps coffee. Akira smiles at him.

"I still can't believe he really messed with birth control," Seidou says as he drives back towards their apartment. "What a sick bastard."

"That is bizarre," Kurona admits. "Apparently the pharmacy worker who partnered with him has have been arrested for collaborating against ghouls."

"They'll probably be released." Seidou says as he slows for a red light. "No one will want to punish them."

Kurona sighs. "It's a step."

"True," he acknowledges. "Thank God we never had to deal with that."

Kurona laughs. It sounds tinny, echoing through the car. "Yeah?"

Seidou's hands grip the steering wheel. Another car, full of college kids out way too late, blares the horn behind them. "We didn't, did we?"

"The light's green, Seidou!"

He hits the gas and they lurch forward. His mind gallops back to :re. "You didn't drink alcohol tonight."

"I'm a little late, okay?" Kurona shouts. "But it's not that big a deal—I've never been regular—"

" _Oh my God!"_

Kurona lunges across him and grabs the wheel, yanking them back onto the right side of the road. "Pull over if you're going to have a meltdown, Takizawa!"

Seidou obeys, his shoulders hunching.

"How much did you drink? I thought it was only one glass or else I'd—"

"It was and I'm not drunk."  _Just having a stressful day._  "Did you tell anyone?"

Kurona crosses her arms. "I've been later than this before I ever started having sex, so it's not abnormal for me!"

"But you didn't drink! You love to drink!"

"Oh, so you think I'm an alcoholic?" Kurona demands as they turn onto their street.

"That's not what I was saying!"  _Isn't getting emotional a symptom?_  Then again, Kurona's always dramatic. It's one of the things Seidou likes about her.

"I know." Kurona lets out a sigh. "But think about it, Seidou." She reaches out and puts her hand on his thigh. "Furuta just told us a lot of shit, and so yeah, I am wondering. I don't—it'd be scary, though."

Seidou pulls into their parking space and turns to her. The engine still runs. "Want to get a test?"

"Is there any place that will still be open?" Kurona queries.

"I can google it." Seidou gulps.  _I have to know. We have to know._ He can only imagine what his mother would say.  _You're not even married to her, Seidou!_

_If you were alive, if Kanou hadn't enticed me to kill you, would you want me? As a ghoul? Would I still be your son?_

He pictures his mother trying out different ways to cook human flesh.  _It's sad that that's what I'd wish for._

_I miss them._

"If Shiro were alive," Kurona says as Seidou finds a pharmacy twenty minutes away and begins driving. "She would probably smuggle me a test and then tell Mom and Dad even if it tested negative."

 _We're thinking about the same thing_. Seidou slides his eyes in her direction. She tosses him a knowing look, her hand sliding down to rest above his knee.

"I love you," he manages.  _I thought I'd lost everything. I thought there was nothing to live for, as long as Amon and Akira were happy._ But she wanted him to live. She believes he's good, and he hopes he can be. Some days he's better than others, and no matter what, her love doesn't waver.

"Minus the ghoul part, my parents would've liked you," Kurona says. "Then again, if I was one too, I'm sure they'd come around. And Shiro would've loved you."

"Well," Seidou says. "Maybe we should buy some actual legit birth control items to celebrate either way."

"Celebrate? Even if it's positive?'

He nods, and Kurona smiles. "Plus," he adds. "It was all I could do not to kiss you in :re."

They buy a box of condoms and a pregnancy test. The woman at the check-out tells them  _good luck,_  whatever that means—even though if Seidou were her he would be asking  _isn't it a little too late for these_ —as they head back out under the sky lit up with stars visible even through Tokyo's glow. Kurona asks if they can blast music on their way back, and Seidou cranks up the radio.  _We're probably breaking some sort of law._

When they get home to their small apartment, Kurona ducks into the bathroom. Seidou tosses the condoms down on the counter until she emerges. His breath hitches.

"We wait now," Kurona informs him when she emerges.

Seidou nods and folds his arms around her. She leans back, her hair brushing his chin. Their tiny kitchen can't be larger than two closets shoved together, and the white appliances glint in the light. During the day it's blinding, but right now, Seidou's just reminded that this is his home, the one he shares with his girlfriend who loves him.

For all Kanou's effort to turn him into a monster, he still has this. And possibly a kid. He gulps.

When her phone's timer goes off, Kurona rushes into the bathroom. Swallowing, Seidou follows her.

"Only one stripe," Kurona says.

Seidou cringes. His pulse hammers in his throat, in his temple. "What's that mean?"

Kurona checks the box again. "Negative." A grin splits her face.

"Wow." Seidou lets out a laugh, a flood of relief washing through him, but relief with some sticks and sludge mixed in, too.  _Where's this coming from?_  "Let's—celebrate?"

"Sounds good to me," Kurona says, pulling him towards the bedroom. "Just make sure to get the condoms."

* * *

"I can't believe he messed with  _that_ , of all things," Arima whispers, taking off his glasses and rubbing his forehead.

Eto snickers. She sips coffee, tossing her hair. "Explains how I got pregnant last night even though I'm on the pill," she says sarcastically.

Arima rolls his eyes. "Don't joke about something like that."

Eto rolls her eyes, mimicking him. "Fine," she huffs, putting the coffee down on the table and flopping back on the couch. "So does Kimi know how he did it yet?"

Arima drops down next to her, and she leans her head against his chest. "Apparently Kimi thinks he worked with a few humans and did something that made birth control ineffective for people with—ghoul heritage. So they weren't  _quite_  sugar pills. Explains how Takeomi and Yoriko escaped the plague of unplanned pregnancies."

"Plague?" Eto guffaws.

Arima frowns. That wasn't what he meant. "I just meant—a lot of them got pregnant all at the same time. And it wasn't ideal."

"Hmph." Eto crosses her arms over her chest. "But they're happy about it now."

Arima snorts. "And scared." He'll never forget Ui's almost catatonic state.

"You're a great-grandfather to Tooru and Urie's twins," Eto says. "And a granddad to Kaneki's kids."

He's honestly barely met the Quinxes' children. "I guess I am."  _Failing at it, that is._

He can do better. He has to do better.

 _But I don't deserve to._ He's seen the dark look storming Yomo Renji's face whenever he gets too close to Touka or Kaneki, or Ayato, Hinami, and Ryouko.  _I killed your sister. What was her name?  
_

_Hikari._

And Ayato and Touka really can't have let it go. Yomo surely hasn't. Kaneki, maybe, but he knew Arima before he knew that—or at least didn't remember it. He's never even asked how much Kaneki knew about that.

 _I'm a murderer._ Some days he really doesn't understand why he's still clinging on to life.

"I hope Furuta rots in prison," says Eto. "Or is given the death penalty."

"I heard Kaneki plans to advocate for life in prison," Arima says.

"I'll never forgive him for what he did to Shiono," Eto says, her voice bitter, but the bitterness covers up what Arima knows is a wound that will never fully heal, no matter her regeneration powers. "I'd feed him to someone, but there's no one left who cares about him."

Arima frowns. "Maybe that's the worst kind of punishment." He remembers when he fought Kaneki in Cochlea, only to realize his protégé cared about him against all odds.  _Why?_

 _You shouldn't_ , he thinks still. "The Tsukiyamas will never forgive you for torturing Karren."

"I know," Eto says, shrugging. "No point in tearing myself up about it."

 _I wish I knew what peace felt like._ He thinks of Juuzou and Kurona. They'll probably never be friends, and she will always remembers, but still, they're moving forwards.

Eto turns over on his chest and swings her legs over his side, pressing her thighs against his hipbones. She places her hands on his shoulders, peering down at him with her eyes glowing. Her kakugan emerges, red and black and reminding him, again.

_Monster._

But Kaneki's okay. The Quinx are okay—they're all better than okay. They're having families. They're changing the world.

Eto's lips descend to take his own in hers, her teeth scraping the inside of his. She slides her palms under his shirt, fingernails dragging against his skin, but gently. Her mouth moves to his throat, and she kisses, sucking on the skin. No matter how many times he marks her, the hickeys will vanish.

"Please keep it below my collar," he rasps.

Eto snorts but slides her mouth lower.

_We're both murderers._

_We have nothing but illusions and dreams, and each other._

* * *

The summer weeks drag on and on and on and on, one after another after another, and he's  _still_  not picking up on her hints.

_It's not a fucking joke, Kishou!_

Eto scowls as she makes her way to Goat. The police wanted to arrest her when ghouls first came out in the open, but Arima talked them out of it—and they disappeared for over a year to protect her, traveling the globe. She didn't mind. Tokyo holds many bad memories for her.

But she likes being with Arima, even if he is being a little dense right now. He understands her like no one else ever could.

_Everything's going to change now, though._

Alternative options don't exist for her. Everyone recognizes Takatsuki Sen. And without Shiono, no one will take her writing, so she hasn't written since her imprisonment. Words build up inside her, aching for a release, but she has no way to free them, and so they consume her. When she manages to push them away into the dark recesses of her mind, the memories of her vivid dreams take over.

She's dreamed of Ukina a lot lately.

_Didn't you fear I could consume you?_

Eto grits her teeth as she arrives at the office to see Miza, stomach huge and protruding, chatting with Hairu, who now has a slight bump as well.  _I can't do this anymore._

She heads to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. Arima's meeting with the prime minister today. Probably because the PM wants to convince him to take a more public role with Goat and the government, but Arima can't do it. It would break him. Behind the scenes is what he wants, for now. Just giving a few statements to the press after Furuta's capture stressed him out, and he didn't sleep at all. Eto tried to stay awake with him, but her body wouldn't let her.

"Hello," Kaneki says as he stirs his coffee cup, spoon clanking against the porcelain. "Good morning."

Eto smirks. "You busy prepping for fatherhood?"

Kaneki gulps and nods.

Eto reaches for the coffee and then remembers that she's heard drinking caffeine isn't good for pregnant women. One cup can't hurt. She did read that online.

_I'm the opposite of you, Ukina. You wouldn't have risked even that for me, would you have? Though it wasn't really for me. It was for your story. For catching V._

_He wasn't worth it._ Rage surges inside Eto, the bitter metal taste of hatred poisoning her tongue. She wants to break the mug in her hand. "Your baby's going to get an aunt or uncle born after them," Eto comments, brewing the cup instead. "Kind of a reverse order of things, don't you think? Then again, nothing's normal about a pregnancy between a half-ghoul and a half-human."

The coffee mug spills onto Kaneki's shoes. He yelps as it burns his toes. "You—what?"

"It seems Furuta has one last laugh coming," Eto says as the coffee finishes brewing and she grabs the mug. "Good thing I won't have to hear it."

"Oh my God!" Kaneki cries out.

She should have told Arima first, of course, but then again…  _nothing's in the right order._

_Tell whoever you want, Kaneki Ken. I don't care._

Eto sweeps out of the kitchen without another word and spends the day quietly at her desk. Either Kaneki told no one or no one cares to talk to her. Knowing him and his goddamn decency he probably kept it to himself.  _I need to slap some reality into Kishou._

She finds herself on Google for hours, reading about symptoms and some truly hilarious labor stories. She prints pamphlet after pamphlet.

And Ukina haunts her.

She goes home early and leaves the pamphlets around their apartment, some on the coffee table, some on the couch, one on Arima's pillow, one tacked to the bathroom mirror with a magnet.  _Now will you finally get it?_

And then she goes back outside and heads to :re, where she watches a pregnant Touka chat with customers and tries to write.

_What's the point?_

All she wants to write is one question to someone who can never hear it:

_Why?_

Well, she'd want to ask two someones. Eto bites her lip. There's no point in wondering this. She should channel this frustration, this empty blank space where she wants an answer, into a story. But her mind won't work.

 _Isn't pregnancy brain a thing?_  Eto snickers to herself.

Eventually Touka comes over to her. "Eto?"

"Yes, Kirishima?" Eto beams up at her, even though she feels like spitting.

"Um—" Touka massages her belly. "Arima—apparently was just at Goat. And he's torn through the entire office looking for you and he seems quite upset, according to Kaneki. He's on his way here now."

Eto can imagine the scene. "He just got the shock of his life," she says. "Though admittedly I did try to warn him." Outside, stars start to emerge. Humidity sticks her hair to her forehead, to the back of her neck. She desperately wants another coffee, but  _no_ , she won't do it.

"Are you pregnant?" asks Touka. "Kaneki—seemed like he was trying not to confirm it, but—"

Eto crosses her arms over her chest. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing to me," Touka returns. "But in case my belly didn't make it obvious, I'm pregnant too." She smiles. "I'm happy, but it's hard."

"Good to know." Eto shuts her laptop.

"You know, if you tried to make friends instead of acting like a self-pitying bitch sometimes, people might surprise you," Touka snaps.

Eto's jaw drops.  _Self-pity?_

Touka stares back at her. "What're you writing?"

"I wasn't," Eto snaps. "I was—trying to—"

"Literature was always my weak point," Touka says. "When I studied for my university exams, I was most nervous about that one."

"Really?" asks Eto, peering up at her.

" _Yoshimura Eto!"_ The door slams open, and Arima barrels into the store, looking about as flustered as she's ever seen him. She wants to laugh. She feels like crying.

"What the hell?" ekes out Kurona from behind the counter.

"He just found out I'm pregnant," says Eto, staring at him.

Kurona gasps.

His face pales at her confirmation. Several pamphlets are clutched in his hands. He marches towards her and grabs her elbow. "Let's—go."

"Good idea," says Eto, snatching her laptop. "Good talking to you, Touka."

Touka smiles at her.

_This is bizarre._

"I did tell you," Eto insists the moment they step outside into the summer night. Some kids laugh down the street. The sound cuts at Eto. "I told you I got pregnant the night before Furuta was captured."

Arima shakes his head. "B-but how could you be so sure? So early? You wouldn't have even—implanted—"

"I just knew," says Eto as they stop under a streetlight. A cloud forms in her chest as one covers the stars up above. "It was the wrong time of month—and when Furuta was caught and we heard what he'd done, that confirmed it." And she could have taken a morning-after pill. She probably should have. She remembers lying awake and trying to convince herself to go to the pharmacy.

But she didn't want to.

He looks at her, face desperate. "I really thought you were joking—if I'd known—"

"I'm well aware you thought it was a joke." Eto scowls. An older man passes her by and side-eyes her. Arima wraps an arm around her shoulders, obscuring her hair.

And then he does something he's never done before: pulls her close, presses her face into his chest. His heart beats against her ears, and his lungs quiver as he breathes.  _You're afraid._

_We are alike. Still._

Eto cranes her neck, peering up. He looks down at her, eyes wet. "I'm going to—I have to be a good parent. Better than I was to Kaneki—not like the people in the Sunlit Garden—I don't—"

_You know you'll fail._

_But you want to indulge anyways, in case of a miracle_.

Yet again, Eto thinks of Ukina. "I'll—try," she promises. It's all she can do. Unlike Ukina, she doesn't have the motive of trying to take down V to push her to have this child.

_So why am I having it?_

_Because... I want to try._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Naki and Miza can't agree on a name and Seidou and Kurona discover that false negatives are a thing.


	19. Messes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Let's just flip a coin," Miza says, exhausted as she slumps on their couch. After she emphatically rejected any Yamori-associated name for their son, Naki settled on Gage or Gugi, but he can't decide which one to name him after.

"That's too random!" Naki protests, scandalized. Miza groans, kicking her legs out. She pokes her belly. _Come on, baby._

_I want to meet you already._

_And I kinda want you out of me._ Her ankles are swollen, her back constantly throbs, and she needs help standing. Her esophagus constantly feels like she's eaten fire and her legs spasm every night, causing her to gasp in pain. She's already almost a week overdue. Kimi says she'll induce her if the baby doesn't come in a few days.

" _Baby just thinks it's safe in there," Naki said. "Doesn't want to come out and meet the big scary world yet."_

 _I don't blame him,_ Miza recalls thinking. Their son kicks her and she winces.

"You should get some sleep," Naki tells her.

"I want this baby to _come_ already," Miza grunts.

"We don't have a name yet," Naki points out.

"He's kicking my ribs."

Naki kneels down and presses his face against her stomach. "Don't hurt your mama, now."

The kicks stop. Miza laughs. "What do you know?" It's probably a coincidence, but either way, she's grateful.

Naki beams. "You know what I've heard might help start your labor?"

"Different teas, which I can't drink?"

Naki shrugs. "Also sex."

A grin spreads across her face. "Worth a shot."

It doesn't work, but she does manage a few hours of sleep. When morning glows outside their windows, Naki helps Miza out of bed and puts on her shoes for her. Hopefully he doesn't tie the laces together.

"Exercise," Naki says, reading his phone. "Kimi says to try that. I texted her last night."

"If I try to run like this, my heart will just give out," Miza jokes.

She does walk to work, though, with Naki beside her, smiling. He really hasn't stopped smiling the past few months.

_This is all worth it._

She's wanted children for as long as she can remember. She takes Naki's hand and squeezes it. _Furuta, you did some good in your life, even if that wasn't your intention_ , Miza decides.

Something tightens in her midsection. Miza frowns, her free hand rubbing her stomach.

"Anything?" Naki asks hopefully.

"Maybe," says Miza. The heat's brutal, and she's panting by the time she gets to Goat. The air-conditioning hits her like a soothing balm.

Eto isn't there, which doesn't surprise Miza. Eto's been skittish ever since Arima ran into the office gasping about where his girlfriend was, and Miza noticed the pregnancy pamphlet in his hand and Juuzou clutched his skull when Arima finally found out she was at :re and ran out of there, and Shinohara actually sat on the floor in shock.

_"I have to make a blanket for the owl who hurt Shinohara?" Juuzou asked in despair._

_"You don't have to," Nakarai pointed out._

_"No," Juuzou said, shoulders slumping. "I do."_

Arima's here, though, and maybe finally getting more involved in the organization. Having a kid makes working for ghoul equality suddenly more real.

"You better be there for her," Miza hears Yomo threatening Arima. Her eyes widen. This is the first time she's seen them talk.

"Of course," Arima says, looking at the ghoul with guilty shadows climbing over his face.

Yomo jabs his finger at Arima. "She may have done a lot of evil things, but she's Kuzen's daughter, and he's not here now."

Arima nods. "Yomo—"

He turns away.

"I'm sorry," Arima whispers, but Yomo doesn't turn around. His shoulders stiffen.

_Apologies can't bring back the dead._

So many humans will never forgive ghouls, and Miza understands.

Another cramp burns in her abdomen. Miza's heart picks up pace. _Please. Please._

Within two hours, she's certain and stops squirming at her desk to find Naki, who's chatting with Amon and Shirazu. She taps him on the shoulder.

He takes one look at her face and realizes. "It's time?"

She nods. "I texted Kimi."

"I'll drive you," Amon offers, and Miza nods. Another contraction takes her breath away.

"Miza?" Naki ventures.

"I'm fine," she ekes out. "Just—hurts."

Naki nods.

Within an hour, Miza's set up in the hospital with Kimi and Banjou attending—because other human doctors still won't come, and Miza feels anxiety crushing her as a result—it's been two years and still, still the prejudice is still so strong— _what will my son have to go through?_

_The world isn't fixed._

But it sucked even more for Miza, and for Naki, and they're alive and here and they have each other.

Naki sobs as her labor progresses and she bites her lips to keep from screaming in agony. No amount of talking to Hinami, Kimi, Akira, Tooru, and Karren could have prepared her for this kind of pain. It feels like her bones are being crushed and her abdomen torn apart from the inside.

"I'm so sorry, Miza!" Naki wails.

"She's doing great, Naki," Kimi encourages. "You're seven centimeters dilated, Miza. That's good."

"I'm not gonna die," Miza pants.

Naki clutches her hand, screaming for her.

Red and gold strings of dust spiral over the sky outside when Kimi finally tells her to push. A half hour later, she hears a baby crying, but the pain's not quite over yet.

"Miza!" Naki cries She's never seen him sob quite like this before. He clutches a baby, bloody against his white suit, and presses their son against her chest.

She delivers the placenta, and Miza gazes at her son. "He looks—like you," she manages.

_He's here._

_I don't know how to be your mom._

_But I know I love you._

Naki plants a kiss on the baby's scalp, covered in soft, wet pink hair. "He has your hair." His eyes shine. "You were amazing. Don't know how you did that."

Miza snorts.

Naki wraps an arm around her and digs through his pocket, pulling out a book of baby names. He flips it open and points to one. "How about this one?"

" _Joji_ ," Miza reads. "I like it."

Naki raises his eyebrows.

"Joji it is," Miza decides.

"Joji," Naki says, reaching out and stroking their son's face. "I love you."

* * *

Kurona's skin prickles in the August heat. Humidity glues her hair to the back of her neck, and warmth sizzles from the pavement. The news says the heat wave is only expected to last until the end of the week, but Kurona's ready to melt already.

A group of kids run past her, giggling and chasing each other. _Where do you get the energy?_ The sun and sticky air try to press her into a long sleep, but it's still too hot.

Scowling, she shoves open the door to :re. Cool air greets her. Kurona sticks her arms out, hoping the sweat dries off quickly.

"Welcome," Touka says dryly, her baby bump protruding under her apron. "The sun didn't kill you."

"It's trying its best," Kurona admits.

"Cold coffee?"

"Please." She twists the hair on her head, lifting it off her neck. "Heard from Miza and Naki?" It's been only a day since Miza gave birth.

"They're well," Touka answers. "And the baby's doing well, too. He's adorable."

Kurona laughs. "He is. What kinds of foods do you want me to cook today?"

"Up to you. You're the chef." Touka hands over her iced coffee.

_When I was a child, all I wanted to be was a chef._

" _Kurona," Seidou told her when she told him as she studied a recipe book she bought. "Maybe you should ask Touka or Yoriko if you can help in their kitchens. Or take lessons."_

Yoriko agreed in a heartbeat, and Touka agreed only after Yoriko vouched for the fact that Kurona was actually quite talented. Even if she can't eat it, she enjoys making it.

The bitter, sweet liquid seeps down Kurona's throat as she heads back to cook. Some days Ihei Shio leans over her shoulder until she threatens to shove him into an oven and he yells that she's a ghoul, not a witch, and therefore needs to stop with the Hansel and Gretel threats. Despite the bickering, Kurona likes that kid.

When Kurona's ready to leave in the late afternoon, several trays of her blueberry muffins and red bean pastries selling well, she spots Kimi balancing Mie on her hip. "It's days like today when I'd love to introduce her to ice cream," Kimi says wistfully to Shio, who licks a giant chocolate cone.

"Hey," Kurona says, stopping by.

"Your muffins aren't terrible," Shio informs her.

"Thanks," Kurona says, rolling her eyes.

"They're actually quite good," Yusa mumbles. Rikai nods.

Mie grins at Kurona, who grins back. The trio runs back outside to bother someone else. Kaneki's been forcing them to study daily, but they get afternoons off, as per Yusa's negotiations. Nishiki's been their tutor.

"I can't believe she's going to be a year old next month," Kimi says, pushing Mie's hair back.

"Wow." Kurona laughs.

"It's funny, even though Furuta wanted to ruin us with this—it really backfired. I'm glad to have her. So is Nishiki."

"I think everyone who had a kid in the past year's happy about it," Kurona admits. "Even Ui and Hairu are beyond excited." Eto and Arima, she's less sure of, but if Eto didn't desperately want this baby she doubts Eto would be having it even if she'll never show how much she wants it.

Kimi wiggles her eyebrows. "Are you and Seidou thinking about it?"

"Yeah. In like five years." Kurona rolls her eyes. "Although we had to do a test a few months ago, right after Furuta was caught."

"Just to make sure?"

"Yeah, plus I was late." Kurona lowers her voice. "It's not uncommon for me to skip months here and there."

"Really?" Kimi asks.

She shrugs. "I've gone six months before, when I was a teenager."

"That's not abnormal for teenagers, but for adults it's odd."

"It's not that odd. It's only been since April this time."

Kimi's eyebrows draw together.

"The test was negative," Kurona points out. "It'll come back. Probably all the stress and—"

"What test did you use?"

Kurona makes a face at Mie, who giggles. "I don't know. One of the pee-on-a-stick ones."

"Hm." Kimi frowns.

A shiver runs through Kurona. "I'd be showing by now if I was pregnant, wouldn't I be?"

"Since it'd be your first child… not necessarily." Kimi blows out her breath. "I'm going to the clinic for a few hours while Nishiki takes Mie. I can run a blood test, if you want. There's not really a risk of a false negative or positive with that."

Kurona's stomach feels queasy. Btu she hasn't had any morning sickness or any other symptoms. Besides being exhausted. "Okay."

"See you at 3?"

Kurona nods. She pulls out her phone, thumb hovering over the button for Seidou's number.

 _Nah_. She'll call him if it's positive. No need to worry him again.

* * *

"Kurona?" Kimi appears in the doorway at the clinic, her face pale.

"Oh shit," says Kurona, her legs instantly freezing on the table. "It's positive, isn't it?"

Kimi nods. "But your levels indicate that you're only about six weeks along, which doesn't fit with you having your last period in April."

Kurona tries to swallow. "My body's weird and irregular, remember?" _How on earth is Seidou going to react?_ Kurona leans forward and starts to cry, tears running warm down her face. _Furuta, you bastard._ But she's not entirely sad.

_Why am I crying?_

"Oh, Kuro." Kimi puts her arms around her. "If you don't want to have it, I'm sure—"

"I do," Kurona interrupts. "I'm just—there are so many people I miss—who should be here—"

" _I'll have a kid before you will," Shiro predicted, her hands reaching up towards the ceiling, fingers twisting._

_Kurona raised her hand next to her sister, reaching for the moonlight. "I'll be the cool aunt."_

_You'll never have a kid, and I'm having one and I'm scared._

"I understand." A look of sorrow washes through Kimi's eyes.

 _You do_ , Kurona knows. She sighs. "What do I do from here?"

"I'd actually recommend an ultrasound. I'm suspicious of this six weeks thing."

"How so?"

"Well, your hCG levels keep rising for the first few months of pregnancy, and then they start to drop off. _If_ you got pregnant at the end of April, it's possible you're around four months along—which would also fit with your hCG levels."

_Four months?_

_I'd have noticed!_

Kurona presses her hands against her abdomen. Is it fuller? She can't tell.

"Do you want to call Seidou?"

Kurona swallows. "Let's do the ultrasound first."

* * *

"I have to talk to you," says Kurona.

"Are you okay?" Seidou demands, straightening up from where he's been playing with his namesake on Akira's floor. Akira frowns over her shoulder.

"I'm fine." Kurona sighs. "Sort of. Listen, Seidou, it's important—"

Seidou slips into Akira and Amon's bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Maris Stella hisses from where she sits in the center of the bed, atop a fluffy teal comforter that no one could possibly sleep under in this heat, air conditioning or not. "What's going on?"

"Remember our scare after we captured Furuta?"

"When I thought you died?"

"No, when we thought I might be pregnant."

Something sinks in Seidou's stomach. "Um… yes?"

"Well, I told Kimi about that today, and she thought it was really strange that I hadn't gotten my period again even though I told her I'm irregular, and she said a false negative isn't impossible, so she did a blood test, and it was positive, so then she did an ultrasound and it turns out I'm fifteen weeks pregnant which is like four months."

The sunlight streaming in through the window blackens. Seidou doubles over and clutches the bed. The cat snarls, thumping her tail in impatience. "You're—what?" _Fifteen weeks?_

_Pregnant?_

He tries to grasp onto the optimism he remembers feeling that night in the kitchen while they waited. _Waited for a test to lie to us._ But instead he sees faces and hears screams, and he knows they're the faces and names and voices of people he killed, people he knew, people he didn't care to know and worse, people he _did_ know.

_I'm going to be the worst father ever._

* * *

"Akira!" Amon throws open the door to his apartment. His wife sent him a text telling him it was urgent and she needed him. Seidou had a cold all week despite the stifling heat— _is he_ —

He skids to a halt. Seidou lies in a crumpled heap on the carpet, sobbing at Akira's feet. It's not an uncommon sight, except for the fact that this Seidou is not his son.

"Um—"

"Amon's here," says Akira, crouching down and putting her hand on Seidou's shoulder. "C'mon."

"Is Kurona okay?" Amon's stomach tightens, as if he's going to be sick.

"Yes," says Akira. Seidou mumbles something unintelligible. Amon kneels down on the floor, his knees cracking. Seidou lifts his head, tears streaming down his face, skin mottled, eyes bloodshot as if he's been crying hysterically for at least an hour.

"What happened?" Amon queries, clutching his cross.

Seidou swallows, looking at the necklace, and Amon remembers when he gave it to Seidou, and when Seidou gave it back. Seidou drops his head. "Kurona's fifteen weeks pregnant."

"What?"

"Fifteen weeks," Akira confirms. "They had a false negative a few months ago."

Amon scratches his head. "And you never thought to check again?"

"I already feel like an idiot, please keep it coming!"

"Sorry."

Akira sighs. "You're not going to be a terrible father, Seidou."

"We all have a lot of regrets," Amon points out. "I'll have to tell my son that I helped kill his friend Ryouko's grandparents. With our histories, we all have those kinds of confessions to make."

"And I'll have to tell my son or daughter that I _ate my own parents_." Seidou buries his face in couch cushion. His shoulders shake. "And their aunt still won't even talk to me, and I can't blame Seina."

"Maybe you should talk to Tooru," suggests Akira. "His situation is pretty similar, and he seems to be doing pretty well with Isamu and Chiasa. He'd probably be happy to talk to you, Seidou. Or to Ui—his situation's kind of the opposite, but considering his once-vehement hatred for ghouls—Arima said he had a meltdown when he first found out Hairu was expecting."

Seidou nods. "I'm just—I know I'm going to fail."

"You're not going to," Amon says. "We're here to help. Honestly neither of us is a perfect parent. There are times I don't want to get up when he cries."

"There are times _I've_ cried," Akira adds.

Seidou nods, prying his face away from the couch. "I need to apologize to Kurona."

"What did you say to her?" Amon demands.

"Nothing. That's the problem. I said I'd call her back and I haven't yet and now my phone's dead, so."

"Maybe you should just head home," Amon suggests.

Seidou nods, wobbling as he gets to his feet.

"Do you need this?" Amon asks, offering him the cross.

A smile cracks Seidou's face. "Nah. I've got something else as a reason to live."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Seidou begs forgiveness and Ui is at the mercy of a hungry Hairu with a craving for melon buns (and issues a long-coming apology of his own).


	20. Knocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Kurona?" Seidou calls, knocking on the door to their apartment. He hopes their neighbors don't think she locked him out. "It's me."

No answer. Not that Seidou blames her. She kept saying his name when she called, and all he could garble out was that he'd get back to her, and that was four hours ago. She's probably called or texted him only to get no response. Which really isn't his fault thanks to his phone dying. Except it is, because he needs to be there for her. He needs to be strong.

_That's not my specialty._

It never really has been, he knows. Seidou's shoulders slump. "I'm really sorry—I didn't mean it—well, I mean—I was scared and worried, but for selfish reasons—I should have been supporting you—I want to support you—"

There's no response. Seidou leans his head against the door. "I'm sorry," he croaks. Maybe she is locking him out. He can't blame her. He has his keys, but...

Nothing. Seidou slumps down outside the door. He can't blame her for not wanting to answer. _It's our baby._ "I didn't mean to seem as if I was blaming you!" he calls. "It's not anyone's fault but Furuta's!"

 _Maybe that's not the right thing to say_. Seidou heaves a sigh. "I think we can do this—Akira and Amon talked to me—I'm sorry I needed to be talked to—"

_Please forgive me._

_I love you._

"I'm so sorry," he manages.

The stars burst above them, and Seidou watches one fall. He remembers hearing about making a wish on it. He wishes for—Kurona to open the door?

 _No_. He wishes for a healthy baby.

"You know," he says out loud. Insects chirp and hum. Sweat slides down his spine. The lack of sun doesn't provide much relief from the soggy air. His shirt sticks to his chest. "I kind of feel—like I don't deserve this, you know? I think that might be why I reacted so awfully. Because of what I did—to—well, you know—" No way he's going to risk the neighbors overhearing that. "I'm excited, in a way. But I'm afraid I don't deserve it—that I don't deserve _you_ , even, sometimes." Tears sting his eyes as he tilts his head back, hair catching on the door. "But I want you. You make me want to be a better person." _Because you believe I'm good._

Cars drive by, and still Seidou waits. His eyes close.

"Seidou?"

 _Huh?_ He blinks. _Did I doze off? Where am I?_

 _Outside,_ he remembers. Kurona wouldn't open the door. Except she's here right now, approaching the door from the sidewalk and gaping at him. A pink hint of dawn gleams behind the trees. He scrambles to his feet. "I thought you were—inside. My phone died," he adds.

"Well, that explains a lot." Kurona rolls her eyes as she fumbles for her keys. "I was visiting Hinami and Ayato. Touka and Kaneki came, too."

 _Oh_. Seidou swallows, digging his nails into his palms. "Did you tell them?"

She nods. "I wanted advice."

"Did they have good advice?"

Kurona smirks. "Yeah, more or less." She digs through her pocket and pulls out a sonogram image, pressing it into Seidou's palm.

 _My child._ Seidou's heartbeat quickens. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow." Kurona shakes her head and pushes past him to unlock the door.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out.

She turns around, frowning.

"I shouldn't have—the reason I acted so terribly—I should have been supportive, instead of making you feel bad or worried—I'm scared, and I'm worried I don't deserve you or—him or her." Seidou holds the photo up. "I'm _really_ sorry, Kurona."

"I think we're both scared," says Kurona. "I understand. I figured you'd come around." She pushes the door open.

Seidou follows her inside. _You did?_ His chest feels light, as if his lungs can inhale twice the amount of air.

"Why didn't you open the door?" Kurona questions. "You have keys. You live here. Did you lose them?"

Seidou shakes his head, lowering his chin. "I was worried you might not want to see me—that I'd ruined everything."

Kurona tosses her keys down, and he feels her hands gripping his face. "You only ruined one night of sleep."

He snorts, palms lowering to her hips. He slides them under her shirt. _Maybe you are showing a bit, but not enough to notice yet._ She feels rounder.

"If it's a girl," Kurona murmurs. "We name her Nashiro."

"Deal," Seidou agrees.

* * *

"Surprise!" Kurona chirps a week later when Seidou opens the door.

Seidou's eyes goggle. "Whose dog is that?"

"Ours." She drops the puppy to the ground; he whines. "I figured it'll help prepare us for what's coming in December." In the meantime, Kurona knows the puppy will just create more of a mess, but judging by the grin on Seidou's face as he crouches down, holding out his hand for the puppy to sniff and then stroking its ears, they're both going to love it.

"You're insane," Amon tells them a few days later.

"You're old and bitter," Seidou retorts as the puppy licks his face.

"He's so cute," Juuzou coos, setting down a blanket clearly for Touka and Kaneki's baby, as it's designed with rabbits and crowns. Naki and Miza got white ties and "bouquets" of three knives. He hasn't started on Arima and Eto's yet.

Kurona smiles. Juuzou looks up at her, hesitant, and she shrugs. He grabs the puppy.

 _I really don't hate you anymore._ She has to focus on her baby.

Touka and Kaneki have decided to wait and be surprised about what they're having, which Kurona doesn't understand at all. She can hardly wait to know. Ui and Hairu found out they're having a boy, and Ui's been running around excited ever since, even taking advice from Tsukiyama on where to buy clothes for their son.

" _It's one of the few good surprises you can have in life," Kaneki said with a shrug. "No matter what it is, we'll be happy."_

"So," says Juuzou as he pats their puppy. "Can I cross-stitch on your baby for old time's sake, Seidou?"

Seidou glares at him. "You are the most—"

"Oh no," says Akira as she passes by, a cup of coffee in her hands. "I thought those days were over."

Shinohara buries his face in his hands.

"If I have to ban you from ever seeing my baby I—"

"Kill him for me, Juuzou," Kurona requests.

"Hey!" Seidou glares at her.

"You're playing into my hands!" Juuzou crows, and Seidou cracks a smile.

"Honestly," says Saiko as she plops down and holds out a chew toy. The puppy's tail wriggles in excitement. "It's too bad Furuta isn't still here. Takeomi and Yoriko need to get cracking."

Seidou rolls his eyes. "I retain my sympathy for people who want to wait until they feel like they're ready. Except no one ever is, I don't think."

"Are you and Ui getting together?" asks Hsiao. "Hairu mentioned that she wanted you two to talk. And Kaneki. All the dads-to-be."

"Yeah," Seidou says. "Next week."

"Watch Special Class Bowl-Cut literally name his child Justice or something," complains Saiko.

Juuzou snickers and pulls out his blanket for Ui and Hairu's kid: it's designed with gavels for justice, plus melon buns.

"How much of this might have happened anyways, without Furuta's ridiculous encouragement?" wonders Shirazu.

"We need to adopt, Hsiao. In another couple years," Saiko muses.

Hsiao grins.

The puppy barks and bounds over to Seidou, who cradles it.

"He knows his father," jokes Saiko.

 _We're going to be just fine_ , Kurona thinks.

* * *

"Koori." The voice breaks through his dreams.

Ui cracks an eye open, absorbing the gray morning light. The pillow feels soft beneath him, and Hairu's arms wrap around him from behind. The clock reads 5:34. "You okay?"

"Koori." Hairu presses her lips against his the pulse beating in his neck. "I am a hungry pregnant part-ghoul."

"Oh?" Ui fights a smile, sleep fading away. "I hadn't noticed." His hands slip out to press her rounded stomach.

"Koori, I'm starving. Feed me or I'll have to take drastic measures." Her teeth nibble his ear.

 _Ow_. Ui rolls over so that he's facing her. "Do you want melon buns?"

"I _need_ melon buns," Hairu confirms, sticking out her lower lip. She flops back onto her pillow. "I'll _die_ if I don't get them. Help me, Ui Koori."

"I'll get you some," he promises, shuffling to his feet. Thankfully he's taken to keeping them stocked since the night a few weeks ago when Hairu, in tears, begged him to go out at two in the morning. At least it wasn't as much of a struggle as the night she insisted they drive almost three hours just so she could eat ramen at a specific place she'd been to exactly once before in her life, seven years ago.

"Also I want you to stop smoking," Hairu mumbles, eyes lolling shut. She sniffs the dent where Ui's head used to be in the pillow. "It smells like you."

Ui freezes. "Hairu, I haven't even had coffee yet."

"I don't want our son around cigarettes, nor do I want you getting lung cancer." Hairu's eyes pop back open, and tears fill them. "Koori…"

"Okay," Ui ekes out. _I'm going to have to talk to Kimi about getting patches or something._ He already wants to smoke to deal with the thought of having to quit cigarettes. _Goddammit_.

"This is amazing," Hairu proclaims, rolling her head back. "You basically do whatever I want. I want to be pregnant forever."

Ui groans. "I'll die of anxiety."

"Well, that'd be a problem," Hairu acknowledges, casting him a sweet, goofy smile. Ui hesitates, and then crawls back onto the bed, pressing his forehead against hers. She tilts her face up, her lips caressing his. "Melon buns. Please."

"Right." Ui scrambles to get them from the kitchen.

"Are you meeting with Arima, Seidou, and Kaneki today?" Hairu asks as he passes her one. She gestures for him to eat too. He settles next to her, palm resting against the stretched skin of her abdomen. The baby stirs.

 _My son_.

"Yes," Ui confirms. "We're meeting after—well, during lunch. For me and Arima anyways."

"Good luck," Hairu says as she licks her fingers. She moves his hand down to her abdomen so that he can feel their son kicking.

Ui closes his eyes. It's time, really. He works with Seidou and Kaneki and Amon and Hinami and Ayato and so many ghouls every day. They helped save Hairu's life when Furuta showed up at Urie and Tooru's. And his son will have ghoul ancestry.

_I don't hate ghouls anymore._

_I just don't know how to show that._

When he gets to work, he hears that Arima's canceled on lunch. Ui gulps. Noontime comes around faster than Ui expected, and his eyelids feel heavy from waking up early. Kaneki hasn't come in to the office, claiming that he has to work from home.

"You ready to go?" drawls Seidou, stopping by Ui's desk and drumming his fingers.

Ui cranes his head back and nods.

_I don't know what to do._

_I don't know what to say._

_Help._

"Is Kurona taking care of the puppy?" Ui asks.

Seidou nods. "He's asleep under her desk."

"Have fun!" sings Juuzou as he zips past. Ui casts him a dark glower.

"He's not gonna drag you off into a dark alley, Special-Class Bowl Cut," calls Saiko as she swings her legs, sitting on Hsiao's desk. "Though you're not special class anymore. I'm still never letting that name die."

Ui's face flushes. "I didn't think that he would."

Seidou scowls.

 _Help!_ Ui gulps. This is why he hates being wrong. He has no idea how to fix things. Especially not when it was almost his entire life he spent living wrongly.

The walk over to Kaneki's is silent. Sweat drips down Ui's face.

"How's Hairu handling the heat?" Seidou asks.

"We use the air-conditioner," Ui admits. "And she eats a lot of popsicles."

Seidou snorts. "Miza made frozen blood-pops for Kurona."

Ui gulps. Seidou's definitely needling him. And he deserves it and doesn't know what to do.

They arrive at Kaneki and Touka's apartment, where Ui smells fish.

"Welcome!" Kaneki calls. "I was—I hope you like—"

"You didn't have to cook for me," Ui blurts out, shame biting him. "I mean, I know I—I mean, I know you don't—"

"I miss cooking sometimes," Kaneki admits. He sighs.

Ui nods. "You could—eat too. If you wanted." _Am I really ready to see that?_

Kaneki arches his eyebrows. Seidou looks at him like he's stripped naked. "We ate earlier."

Ui swallows. Seidou drops onto the floor as Kaneki brings over the dish. It smells quite good—savory.

"You can bring the rest back for Hairu," Kaneki suggests, settling down. "I made extra for Hairu, and then Arima didn't end up coming, so there's even more extra. You'll have dinner." He smiles.

Ui glances over his shoulder. _Why are they being so nice?_

"Are you ever gonna sit down or are you going to keep looking at the door like you'd give anything to dash down the street?" Seidou asks, crossing his arms.

"That wasn't what I was thinking." Ui drops down, his tongue thick in his mouth. _I'm making everything worse._

"So," Kaneki says. "We're all going to be fathers."

"And we're all scared shitless," Seidou supplies.

Ui manages a smile at that.

"We all have things we don't really want to own up to," Kaneki admits. "And it's strange to think about being that responsible for a human being."

"Really, because I thought you considered yourself responsible for all of our wellbeings at some point or another," jokes Seidou.

Kaneki winces. "Not to mention I have to tell my son or daughter about how I hated being a ghoul at first."

"Same," says Seidou.

"I have to tell them that I hated ghouls," Ui admits, clacking his chopsticks together. "And Arima's going to have to—well." He does not envy Arima and Eto.

Seidou cocks his head, studying Ui. "Are you going to eat?"

"Of course." Ui gulps down the food.

"It's not human flesh," Seidou adds. Kaneki frowns.

Ui almost chokes. "That's—" He swallows. "That's not even—I never thought—"

"You know, Ui," says Kaneki. "It's okay. It took me years of working with the people I cared about—many who happened to be ghouls—before I was able to really care about what happens to ghouls as a population too. You don't have to keep working with us out of a sense of guilt or obligation. We know you love Hairu. You don't have to care deeply about all of us, or about ghouls, if you aren't ready to yet."

 _Are you firing me?_ Ui could scream. "But I _do."_

"Bullshit," Seidou says. "You look at me like I'm—"

"I don't!" Ui gapes at Seidou. "I look at—at _me_ the same way you look at yourself!"

Seidou's eyebrows plunge together. " _Why_ would you do that?"

"Because I was wrong!" Ui pushes his bowl away from him. "And because I—I killed so many—and the girl I was in love with the whole time was—and she still thought like me—and it was the world we were raised in, but it was also us, and my choices and my own feelings." He curls his fists, neck bowed. He can't look them in the eyes. _I'm so ashamed._

"Why didn't you ever say that?" demands Seidou. "I mean, Ui, if we're talking about killing, I ate my own parents."

 _You—what?_ Ui looks up to see the other man's lips pulled into a grimace. Shame cripples Seidou's shoulders, and Ui's never been able to relate to him more.

"I don't think you're any better or any worse than the rest of us," Kaneki says softly.

 _But that's exactly it, isn't it? I always wanted to be better_.

" _I still love you," Hairu always says after they argue._

And they both apologize, and it's not hard for him, because he knows she doesn't think less of him for it, and he doesn't think less of her.

"I'm sorry," Ui croaks. "To both of you—for what I said and did to ghouls. I'm _sorry_."

"Well," says Seidou, and he sticks out his hand. "I'm sorry, too."

Ui shakes his hand, and then Kaneki's. "And I'm honored to work at Goat."

"We're honored to have you," Kaneki responds, and Ui remembers once hearing Touka say that Anteiku was created by Yoshimura in hopes that lost ghouls—that his daughter—could have a place to turn to.

_That's basically Goat. Except they help humans, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Ui proposes and Touka's baby is in danger.


	21. Too Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Hairu!"

"Yeah?" She leans back in her swivel chair, eyes tired after burning through pages and pages of the news about new anti-ghoul demonstrations.

Ui jogs towards her, Seidou and Kaneki waving as they head off in a different direction. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." She gets to her feet, wincing. The baby rolls and kicks her, and she pokes her belly. "Unfortunately our son is going to have my energy level."

" _Fortunately_ ," Ui says, beaming.

 _I take it your lunch went well?_ Hairu arches her eyebrows. She grasps his hand and pulls him into an empty conference room, shutting the door. The drapes are drawn and the room shrouded in a dark gray light. "So how'd it go?"

"We talked," Ui says. Hairu sniffs and notices that he does not smell like cigarettes. She almost misses the smell, but she's not losing her partner to lung cancer. "I apologized."

"Hm?" Hairu tilts her head back, searching Ui's face. _You look so much lighter_. His shoulders aren't slumped or hunched, and his eyes are bright. "I did the same thing with Touka awhile ago."

Ui nods. "I'm sorry to you, too."

"You've already apologized, and—"

"Yes, but I wanted to say it again." Ui pulls his hair back and sighs. He drops to his knees.

_Um—_

"I don't want to cover it up—what I did. Not for our son. I want to tell him, and show him that I regret it, at the right time." Ui presses his lips against her bump, holding it in his hands. "Because I love you. You could be a full-fledged ghoul and it wouldn't matter. I'm sorry I thought that ghoul meant evil. I promise I'll—I'll work for a better world for you. For us."

"Are you talking to me or our son?"

"Both," Ui admits, kissing her navel.

"I'll do the same," Hairu says, voice trembling. She rests her hand on top of the bump. The baby kicks.

"We'll do it together?" Ui asks, looking up at her.

Hairu nods, heart thumping. "Is that a proposal?"

Ui nods.

Hairu leans down and grasps him by his chin, pulling him up for a kiss.

"Oh God," interrupts a voice. "Please let me out before this gets explicit."

" _What are you doing here?"_ Ui screeches.

"I was here the whole time fixing the projector and it's your own fault for not noticing!" shrieks Juuzou, clutching his skull. "Let me out!"

"We're not keeping you here!" Hairu yelps.

"I would tell you to use a condom but there's really no point." Juuzou skitters towards the door as Ui's face swells. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you!" Hairu hollers.

* * *

Three days later, when Hairu gets a text from Touka asking her to come to :re, she can only smirk. Sure enough, when she arrives, Yoriko's baked a cake in celebration, and everyone from Goat, plus their babies, are around. Joji's cranky, but Miza smiles anyways.

_You're that happy for us?_

She exchanges a smile with Ui. Touka gives her a hug, and Hairu returns it.

"And if any of you want a recording of what Ui's proposal was like, I have a video," announces Juuzou as he sips an iced coffee.

Ui stiffens. Hairu's eyes narrow. "Excuse me?"

"I mean Ui apologizing to your stomach was really adorable." Juuzou winks and holds up his phone. "Want to see?"

"Please," requests Saiko. Tooru and Urie cringe. Shirazu guffaws.

"Oh no you don't," Ui says immediately, stepping forward and glowering at Juuzou.

Juuzou cocks his head to the side, still grinning.

"Please delete that," Ui requests.

"No," returns Juuzou. "This is too good and potentially too useful in the future."

Shinohara's eyes bulge. "Juuzou—"

Aura groans. Nishiki shrugs as if to say _he has a point._

"But it's private," protests Hinami, shifting Ryouko on her hip. Ayato raises his eyebrows, looking mildly impressed.

"If they wanted it to be private they should have checked to make sure no one's was in the conference room before they started unveiling their souls," Juuzou says, tapping his fingers.

Ui lunges. Juuzou ducks and scrambles away, thrusting the phone into the air.

"Delete it!"

"No chance!" Juuzou shouts as he weaves between different tables and chairs. Ui leaps after him. Shinohara starts laughing.

"This is fantastic," declares Tsukiyama, rubbing his face as he gapes. Juuzou jumps up onto the counter and dodges coffee pots as Ui scrambles after him. Eto, starting to show herself, pulls out her own phone to record, and Arima seems stunned into silence. Akira covers her mouth as Seidou doubles over laughing.

"If you break anything you are paying for it!" screeches Touka. Hairu shakes her head just as coffee goes flying. Tooru ducks, holding his daughter to his chest. The brown liquid sprays Karren.

Ui yanks Juuzou's shoulder.

"Here, Hanbee!" Juuzou shrieks, throwing the phone across the shop. Hanbee catches it and holds it above his head. "Good luck trying to get it now, shorty."

Ui freezes atop the counter. "Amon? You're tall enough." Desperation leaks into his voice.

"I have my arms full," Amon points out, hugging his son.

"Aura?"

"Nope," says Higemaru as Aura makes a move. He uses his kagune to block Aura.

"Come on!" complains Aura.

"You could always try to jump for it," Shirazu suggests as Nakarai, Tamaki, and Mikage all cackle. Ui shoots them a murderous glare.

"You are all uninvited from the wedding," Hairu announces, even as she struggles to hold back a grin.

"Not fair!" Juuzou yells, pointing at her.

"Stop tormenting my fiancé!"

"My God," says Hirako, eyes bulging.

"But it's a lot of _fun_ , Hairu!" protests Saiko. Hsiao's laughing too hard to speak. Hide rubs his temples as if he can't believe he's actually seeing this.

Ui clutches his forehead. "I hate you all."

But the way he says it makes it clear it's the opposite, and even Kaneki grins at that. Juuzou beckons for Hanbee to hand over the phone, and Touka grabs buckets for Juuzou to clean the shop with.

* * *

Touka hands Tooru and Seidou their coffees, watching Seidou take a seat in a small booth across by the window. She allowed Seidou to bring his puppy inside, so long as it's on a leash. After Ui and Juuzou's mock-fight a month ago, they've been forced to make their own coffees every time they come, and Seidou had to promise to the sky that his puppy wouldn't wreck anything.

"How're you feeling?" Tooru inquires, lingering. "Two more months?"

"Can't come fast enough," Touka confirms. She winces and straightens. "My back really hurts." Which is putting it mildly. Her back feels as if someone sewed a boulder into the muscles and chipped her spine while they were at it.

"Kuki used to have to give me back rubs," Tooru admits. "Actually he still does, but it was a necessity when I was pregnant. The twins were brutal on my muscles."

"I can't imagine," Touka says, leaning on the counter.

"Hope you feel better." Tooru gives her a smile and heads off to talk to Seidou.

That night, though, Touka can't sleep. Her back continues to scream, as if the muscles are scrunching up and having seizures.

"Are you okay?" Kaneki mumbles.

"Just a sore back."

Kaneki leans his chin on her shoulder, fingers and thumbs kneading. Touka lets out her breath. It actually feels good. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry this is hard on you," Kaneki whispers.

"It's worth it." The baby kicks her and she gasps.

Kaneki presses her muscles and leans his face over to talk to her stomach. "Let your mom sleep, please."

"If he or she takes after me or Ayato, we're screwed," Touka mutters.

"I'd be excited," Kaneki responds. And the rhythm of Kaneki's hands on her back and hips lulls Touka to sleep.

The next morning, she heads in for her check-up with Kimi, the pain still throbbing.

"Back pain?" Kimi asks as Touka steps on the scale.

"I almost couldn't sleep last night. The baby was quieter, though, so I got some sleep. And Kaneki gave me a massage."

Kimi frowns. "Okay." She turns away from Touka for a second, and Touka's pulse speeds up.

"Is something wrong?"

"I just want to do a few tests," Kimi says.

* * *

The minute Kaneki answers his phone and hears Touka's voice shaking, he drops his cup of coffee all over the floor. It seeps everywhere and he can't even bother to clean it up. "What's wrong?"

"Kimi says I'm in preterm labor," Touka says. Her voice cracks, and that's when Kaneki starts to lose it. He leans back against the wall in his office, tears stinging his eyes.

"They're admitting me to the hospital and giving me some magnesium to try and stop it," Touka says. "But I'm already three centimeters dilated. I don't think Kimi's that optimistic."

 _At 32 weeks… dammit!_ Kaneki wants to be able to fix this, protect Touka from this—and surely she's going to blame herself even though she shouldn't—protect his child from this—if he or she's born too early…

_There's nothing I can do._

_I'm helpless_. "I'm on my way," Kaneki says, trying to keep his voice calm and soothing. _Those back pains last night—I should have guessed—_

He cracks his knuckles. His eyes burn. _I want this baby._

_Please be okay._

"Kaneki?" Saiko peers into his office, Shirazu, Urie, and Tooru behind her. "What's wrong?"

Kaneki shakes his head. He can't speak. A sob breaks and he hates himself for it. "I have to—go," he finally chokes out.

"Is it the baby?" Urie asks. Blood drains from Saiko's face.

He nods. "Touka's in—labor—they're trying to—give her something to stop it—because it's so early—"

"Hey," Urie says, reaching out and grabbing Kaneki. "It's okay, okay? I did research when Tooru was dealing with preeclampsia. Touka's almost 32 weeks, right? Most babies are fine after that—they just need a longer stay in the hospital."

Kaneki nods.

"It's gonna be okay," Urie repeats.

"Poor Touka," whispers Tooru. "It's scary, Kaneki, we know that."

"Hide!" howls Shirazu. "Get your car!"

Akira, Amon, Nishiki, Tsukiyama, Ayato, and Hinami all gather. Ui and Hairu appear as well.

"Touka's in labor," Tooru informs them.

"Shit," says Nishiki, gripping his hair.

Ayato covers his mouth, eyes wide with fear for his sister. "I'll text her."

Hinami nods. "Do you want anyone to go with you to the hospital, Kaneki?"

He shakes his head. Just Hide will be good.

"Touka's strong," says Tsukiyama, his voice rough. He spins his wedding ring. "Between the two of your, your kid's got to have crazy strength. He or she probably wants to come early because he or she wants to do whatever he or she wants, and that means you're in for terrible teenage years."

In spite of himself, Kaneki laughs. "Text Naki and the others for me?"

"I'm on it," Hinami promises, pulling out her phone. Ayato dials Touka. Hairu mumbles that she'll text Touka as well. Ui looks whiter than a cloud.

Kaneki runs down the stairs to see Hide waiting in his car. A text appears from Touka the moment he slams the door.

"You feel trapped right now, don't you?" Hide asks as he drives as fast as the speed limits will allow.

Kaneki doesn't reply. He doesn't need to. He wants to cover his chin, cover himself, but he can't, and what does it matter anyways? His child could be about to die.

_We can't even keep you safe before you're born._

"Trust the doctors," Hide says. "They've softened to ghouls since Furuta's arrest. Trust Kimi, too. She knows what she's doing at this point. And trust us—no matter what happens, we're going to be here for you, okay?"

Kaneki swallows. The sedan in front of them slides along at an abysmally slow pace. _Pick it up, pick it up!_

"Asshole," Hide grumbles, finally speeding past him. "I don't care if I'm rude right now." He glances briefly at Kaneki before focusing on the road ahead. "You're not alone. Your baby isn't alone, either. These things happen at random."

"I want this baby to live," Kaneki whispers, the words breaking through his chest.

"Well," says Hide. "Now you know how desperately the rest of us have always wanted you to live. Your baby's in the best hands, Kaneki. And he's got you and Touka for parents. I'm sure she'll be a fighter."

_I haven't always done a great job at that._

_I have to keep fighting for ghouls. For you_. Because he loves his child and he loves his friends.

_You have to fight, little baby. You can do it._

Kaneki arrives and asks at the front desk for Kirishima Touka. Soon to be Kaneki Touka, if she says yes. The lady at the desk gives him directions. Nursing staff whisper as Kaneki rushes through the tiled halls, no doubt aware of exactly whom he is.

He bursts into the room to find Kimi preparing a syringe.

"Ken!" Touka reaches for him, and he grabs her hand. An IV drips into her body. She can clearly tell he's been crying. So has she.

"I'm about to give Touka a steroid shot," Kimi explains. "If the magnesium doesn't work—and I'm not overly confident it will, especially given that you're a ghoul and we can't know how this will affect you, if it'll have any affect at all—these shots could help the baby's lungs develop faster."

"Is that the greatest concern?" asks Kaneki.

"Pretty much," Kimi confirms. "But we'll have to see."

The back pain lessens after a few hours, according to Touka, but Kimi doesn't seem convinced that the magnesium will continue to work. The sky darkens outside. Kaneki texts an update to the group.

"I'm scared," Touka says aloud, looking at the blank white ceiling.

"Me, too," Kaneki admits. _I don't know how to comfort you._

She squeezes his hand.

_Maybe that's comfort enough. Knowing you aren't alone._

"If Yoshimura were alive to see this, he'd laugh," Touka says.

Kaneki laughs himself. "The two of us having a baby? Pretty much."

"He'd be proud, too," Touka says.

Kaneki nods. He wonders what Yoshimura would think of Eto having a baby with Arima. _He'd probably be thrilled._ Kaneki's heart aches. He frowns as he realizes Arima hasn't texted him. _Don't you care?_

 _Probably._ But Arima still has no idea how to show it most of the time.

Touka lets out a snort. "Although he might be mad I never went to college and opened :re instead. He'd be grumpy, but I like managing :re."

"You could go to college too," Kaneki suggests. "It's not too late."

"We could both finish school," Touka says. "Maybe. Someday."

_School was your link to humanity._

_But now you have so many other links. People._

"If you ever want to," Kaneki says. "I'd support you."

Touka nods. "We'll see what happens."

Kaneki's hand rests on her stomach. _Please be okay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Touka and bed rest do not mix well, Kaneki makes a decision, Kurona worries, and Hairu experiences a messy situation at work.


	22. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"How long are they going to keep you here?" Ayato wonders.

"Eternity," Kaneki says with a serious face. Her brother narrows his eyes and Touka laughs. A nurse peers in as she walks by; so far none of the nurses will treat her besides Kimi and her Great Wheel friends. Touka would like to talk to some of the human nurses, but to most of them, she's just a ghoul. A monster. Who knows, maybe at some point in their training they worked on patients who escaped ghoul attacks. She can't blame them, but she wishes.

"But you're not still having pain?" Hinami questions. They left Ryouko with Karren and Tsukiyama, and Yomo and Uta drove them to visit. Yesterday Yoriko and Takeomi and Akira and Amon came, and the day before all of the Quinx squad and Juuzou and his squad. Hide's been present every day, and Nishiki comes when he picks Kimi up. Arima and Eto came in the morning with some picture books for the baby. Eto seemed distracted, though.

"Some," Touka admits. "But they say the longer I can wait the better." Kimi said her chances of making it to full term are pretty slim, and Touka can tell Kimi still expects her to go into active labor. She gave Touka another steroid shot last night. But the magnesium must be working. She's now officially over the 32 week mark.

Yomo nods. _Must be weird for you, seeing your nephew with a daughter and your niece about to have a baby._

"If she makes it through the week and doesn't get any more contractions, they might send us home," Kaneki says. "And then Touka would be confined to bed rest."

Ayato throws back his head and laughs. Touka gestures for Hinami to hand her a napkin from the cup of coffee Yomo drank earlier. She crumples it and throws it at her brother. It pings off his head.

"It's true," Ayato says. "Touka on bed rest? That's not gonna go well."

"I'd have to do it," Touka snaps. She texted Tooru earlier for advice. "I'd do anything for this baby."

Kaneki looks at her. Ayato's laugh dies, and Hinami reaches for Touka's hand.

Yomo nods. "Your mother would have done anything for the two of you."

Touka swallows. She and Kaneki have discussed naming their baby after one of their parents, but she's not sure how she feels about it. A fresh start might be better.

"She'd be proud of them, wouldn't she?" Hinami asks.

Yomo nods, a rare smile blooming across his face. Touka gulps. Ayato's face flushes.

"Well," says Ayato roughly. "You better hold off. Ryouko doesn't want to meet her cousin until he or she's done cooking."

Kaneki chuckles. Touka laughs and sits up.

The moment she moves, she knows something's wrong. There's a popping sensation, and something streams down her legs.

_Did I need to use the bathroom?_

_No._

Touka doubles over. There's no pain except the ever-present now-dull backache, but terror sears her chest.

"Touka?" Kaneki grabs her.

"Hey!" yells Ayato.

"My water broke," she whispers, peering into Kaneki's eyes. Shivers course through her. She can't stop. Her teeth chatter, and she's not cold.

"Are you sure?" asks Hinami.

Touka throws the covers off her. Water soaks the sheet and the mattress, her legs.

"Get a nurse," orders Ayato. Yomo flies out of the room, his face white.

"I'm calling Kimi," says Hinami.

 _We failed._ Touka clings to Kaneki's shoulders, tears scrabbling at her eyes.

A human nurse appears alongside Yomo. She takes one look at the fluid soaking the bed, tinged with blood, and runs straight out of the room.

 _Come back,_ Touka wants to shout. _Coward_.

But the nurse does come back within a minute, dragging a balding human doctor who looks terrified.

"Am I going to lose my baby?" Touka demands. _Do you even care? Where is Kimi?_

"No, sweetie. The steroid shots should help," the nurse tells her. "He or she just might need more time to get used to the world." She gestures. "Everyone out."

"He's my boyfriend," Touka objects, jabbing her thumb at Kaneki. A contraction grips her midsection, and she lets out a gasp.

"He can stay," the nurse decides.

"Kimi's on her way," Hinami offers. "She says to remind you that she's not surprised at all by this, and neither is she that worried."

Touka nods. Kaneki keeps rubbing her shoulders.

"Good luck, sis," Ayato tells her, gripping Touka's hand before he leaves, arm around Hinami.

"I can't wait to meet my great-niece or great-nephew," Yomo tells her, even though he looks more or less thrilled to flee from the room. Uta reaches out to squeeze Touka's shoulder.

The nurse looks apprehensive as the doctor hastens to leave. "Aren't you—"

"You're more than capable," the doctor, an older man with a hardened scowl, tells her.

"We're not going to eat you," Touka snaps. "I just want—my baby to be okay—isn't that what your job is? Trying to make sure that people have their—"

"Humans," the doctor corrects, and Touka wishes she could slam his thick skull into the doorframe.

"Calm down, Kirishima," the nurse tells her. She looks old enough to be Touka's mother. "I'll stay with you until Nishino arrives."

 _I don't want you to sit with me; I want you to help me!_ Touka grits her teeth.

"How dilated is she?" Kaneki asks pointedly.

The nurse hesitates, and then heads to the box of gloves resting on the tray nearby. "I'll check."

"Thank you," Kaneki says.

 _Well, this is one way to get up close and personal with a human_ , Touka thinks.

"You're five centimeters," the nurse confirms as a contraction wracks Touka's frame. She hooks up a monitor so that she can hear the heartbeat. "The baby's doing well."

"Thank God," Touka wheezes, leaning back. Kimi rushes through the door as another contraction hits, and Touka can't even greet her. All her energy goes towards trying not to scream. Her throat feels as if it's about to explode and her skin and bones and veins and muscles will splatter through the air.

Kaneki tries his best to be supportive—wiping her brow, rubbing her back, telling her to breathe—though Touka isn't particularly receptive to any instructions.

Finally, after what genuinely seems like an eternity but what Kaneki says—when she asks—is about six hours—Kimi tells her to push. Touka feels as if her pelvis has to be shattered from all the pressure, and her spine too. _Good thing I'm a ghoul._

But Kimi only tells her to push three times before she hears an infant's squall, and Kaneki leaps to his feet.

 _They're breathing,_ Touka realizes.

"You have a baby boy," Kimi declares, pressing him against Touka's chest. He's tiny—his skin is loose, as if he hasn't grown into it. Kaneki cries as he reaches out.

And all too soon he's gone, whisked away into an incubator.

 _He's alive,_ Touka reminds herself, even though she can't stand it, she can't stand waiting here, unable to hold him, unable to comfort him. He's got to be screaming, right? Scared, probably.

"You did wonderfully," Kimi tells Touka. "He'll be okay. He just has to spend a few days in the newborn intensive care to make sure he's going to be okay."

Kaneki nods.

"He's so small," Touka whispers.

"He's perfect," Kaneki chokes out.

* * *

Every day Kaneki spends in the hospital, watching his tiny son breathe inside an incubator and dying to hold him.

"He looks like you," comments Hide, peering in. His hand squeezes Kaneki's shoulder.

The days pass in a blur. Touka is discharged, but she refuses to go back to :re. Not with their son still in the hospital, adorable and yet they aren't safe to hold him. His breathing keeps worrying the doctors.

"How is the prince doing?" Tsukiyama sings as he appears with roses.

"Meet your cousin, Ryouko," Hinami says softly, and Ryouko bursts into tears.

Yomo actually gives him an awkward hug, and Uta clasps both of them on the shoulders. Kurona and Seidou clean their apartment for them while they're at the hospital, and Juuzou gives them the blanket with crowns and rabbits. Tooru sits for long hours with Touka, and Naki and Miza do the laundry for them despite having an infant of their own.

"You're going to be a good father, Ken," Arima tells him, and Kaneki can only shake his head.

"Don't blame yourself," Arima tells him, clutching Kaneki's shoulder. "He's going to be all right."

"I'm so afraid," Kaneki whispers. Not about his health. _About this. About the world he's been born into, about my complete inability to protect him, because there are always going to be things that I can't control._

Arima swallows and adjusts his glasses. "Me, too."

Kaneki looks up at his mentor, the man he considered a father figure to him. Arima's eyes are wet. Kaneki puts his hand on Arima's arm.

 _It's okay_. That's what Touka told him when they found out she was pregnant with their beautiful son.

"I do think of you like a son, you know," Arima tells Kaneki. There's an unspoken I _'m sorry. I'm sorry we forced you into this role... I'm sorry for all you've gone through... I'm sorry for what I've done._

He nods. "I know."

Arima smiles, and Kaneki lets out his breath.

"What's his name?" Hide asks later.

"Yuki," Kaneki says, watching as his son's tiny limbs, veins green underneath his skin, curl up inside the incubator. _I just want to hold you._

"You don't really want to be the leader of Goat anymore, do you?" Hide asks.

"Huh?" Kaneki turns.

"I can see it on your face. You want to take care of your son, but you also want to spend time with him. You're sick with worry over him, but you also aren't missing the office much."

"I miss you all," Kaneki retorts.

"Not the same thing."

"I don't really have a choice," Kaneki says, rubbing his chin. "I have a reputation now. I'm known for this."

"You know you have options," Hide says. "You have us."

When Hide leaves, Touka arrives after having slept only a few hours. "You want to go sleep?"

Kaneki shakes his head. "Not yet." _What will you think, Touka?_ he wonders.

"What's on your mind?" Touka asks as she watches their son's chest rise and fall.

Kaneki tells her what Hide said.

"I can see it too," Touka says. "You'd like to consider college. You want to spend more time with our son."

"Well, Karren did set up that daycare in Goat," Kaneki points out with a laugh. Other parents haven't reacted well to the idea that the child of a ghoul and a half-ghoul is in the NICU. And yet the hospital's kept Yuki here, and he can only thank Kimi for it.

"But you'd like less stress."

Kaneki nods.

"What are you thinking?" Touka asks. The hospital lights are blinding. At least the air in the nursery is less harsh than the hallways that reek of sanitizer.

"I can't give it up completely," says Kaneki. "That would be irresponsible. But I was thinking about asking Juuzou—as a resident human—and Amon, and maybe Yomo—to consider forming like a trio of leaders for Goat."

"Hm." Touka leans her face closer to the incubator, her dark hair covering her face. "I think you should talk to them."

Kaneki nods.

Behind the glass, Yuki opens his eyes, and all the tension melts away. Kaneki crouches down, tears filling his eyes as he smiles at the baby.

_I'll never stop fighting for the best world possible for you._

_I just might not be the best one to lead it anymore._

* * *

Yuki comes home from the hospital two weeks after he's born, much to Kaneki and Touka's delight. Seidou spends hours reading about possible complications and trying to warn Kurona about all the possible things that could go wrong and old wives tales about how to avoid them.

"Not helping," Kurona growls as she cuddles their puppy to her chest.

The next morning, Seidou wakes up to a text from Touka of a ring on her hand. _I said yes._

He laughs. Kurona rolls over. "What?" she asks sleepily.

"Our king is finally making it official with the queen."

"When are Nishiki and Kimi and Ayato and Hinami getting on it?" Kurona wonders, sitting up. Karren and Tsukiyama are getting married at the end of October, and Seidou would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to the lavishness of a Tsukiyama wedding. Mirumo offered to watch Rose while they go on their honeymoon, but last Seidou heard, Tsukiyama still wants to take Rose with them.

"Is that a hint?" Seidou asks.

The puppy whines, leaping up onto the bed. Seidou knows they're supposed to shove him off, but he looks into the animal's dark orbs, shining as he bounds over to Seidou, and he can't do it.

"Softie," teases Kurona, tossing her hair. Her hand cradles her stomach. "And no. It wasn't. We'll get there in due time."

 _Due time may be sooner rather than later_ , Seidou thinks, pulling the puppy over to lie down between them.

Within the month, he watches Tsukiyama kiss Karren at the altar, one kiss turning into a full make out session while Chie snaps photo after photo.

"Why?" asks Amon in dismay.

"Why not?" Kurona retorts, turning to make out with Seidou.

That night, Seidou finds Kurona standing in their bathroom, hiking her shirt up to study her swollen stomach, covered in a map of stretch marks. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Kurona says, her brows pinching together. "I just—realized I can't see the scar that used to mark where Shiro was, anymore."

"Oh." Seidou hoists himself up on the counter. The puppy's asleep in the kitchen.

"Not that she was ever really there," Kurona adds, deflated.

"She was," Seidou cuts in. "She is. Just not—she does live inside you. You honor her memory. Even if you can't see her."

Kurona traces the stretch marks, purple and pink. "Are you ever afraid you'll forget them?"

"Yes," he admits, chest tightening.

She turns to face him. "Don't let me forget her. Or my parents. And I won't let you forget yours."

He nods and pulls her close. The sound of paper tearing echoes from the kitchen. "Oh no."

They rush out to see the puppy chewing on some of Goat's important files. "Hey!" Seidou bellows.

Kurona laughs.

* * *

Hairu shifts at her desk, rubbing her back. She feels so bloated and uncomfortable, and her abdomen aches from the weight of carrying this baby. _Will you just come already?_

The discomfort persists, but Hairu's been uncomfortable for weeks now. She chews on a few slices of an orange. It's less exciting than a melon bun.

Today, Kaneki's been meeting with Eto and Arima for several hours now. About what, Hairu doesn't know. Ui suggested they go out for dinner with Arima and Eto afterwards, though Eto said she plans to rest instead. Eto's been dressing in baggy clothes, almost as if she's avoiding what's happening. But her bump is obvious now.

Hairu gets up and brews herself another cup of decaf coffee. Hirako smiles at her as she winces. "Feeling okay?"

"Ready for this to be over," Hairu admits.

"We get to babysit your kid, right?" asks Shio as he pops up, ready to boil water for hot chocolate. Rikai and Yusa stand behind him, working part-time while finishing school. Tooru's been working on getting them to meet up with some of the kids who were rescued from the Oggai squad Furuta concocted, desperate to have those kids avoid the fate Tooru almost had.

"Eh," says Hirako.

"Maybe." Hairu winks. "If you all earn top scores."

"The top three?" demands Yusa.

"Pretty much," Hairu chirps, winking at Shio. He beams at her. "Okay, maybe just good scores. Top ten percent."

As Hairu drinks her coffee, the pain grows in her back and in her abdomen _. Could this be it?_ She's afraid to hope. Two weeks ago she thought she was in labor and had Ui call Kimi, only for it to be false labor.

Hairu gets to her feet to type another email. She presses send and heads to the bathroom, grimacing. By the time she's washing her hands, another wave of pain grinds inside her, and Hairu has to hold her breath.

"Well," comments a voice behind her. "Are you planning on having your baby in Goat?"

Hairu glares at Eto. "Excuse me?" _Why you again? Why?_

"Are you in labor?" Eto crosses her arms and studies her. Her own belly protrudes, and dark circles hang under her eyes.

"Practice contractions are a thing," Hairu snaps.

Eto raises her eyebrows. "Are these practice ones, though?"

"Leave me alone."

"You know," Eto says. "There are plenty of ghouls who have done similar things as me. Are you going to hate them all forever?"

"No," Hairu says, biting her lip. "But you hurt people I care about." _And you and Arima are now—I don't think you're hurting him, and I'm happy for him, but—_

_I can't be your friend. I hope you are happy and have full, equal rights and are treated as a person and not a monster. But I don't know if I can help you._

_Maybe I'll figure out how to try.  
_

Eto's lips curve into a smile as if she understands what Hairu's thinking without Hairu voicing it.

Something rushes down Hairu's legs. She gasps. Clear fluid soaks her pants, her shoes and socks, and the floor.

"Looks like you _are_ in labor," Eto comments.

Another wave of pain clamps over her. Hairu cringes. _Ui—_

"I'll get Koori," Eto tells her.

 _I'm dripping everywhere. This is disgusting._ Hairu groans, trying to hold her breath until the pain ends, but no, that's not what she's supposed to do—she's supposed to _breathe_. She clutches the sink and kneels down, panting.

The door bangs open, and Hairu peers up to see Ui rushing towards her. "You aren't supposed to be in the woman's restroom," Hairu can't resist eking out.

He snorts. "Really? Now?"

"Why not?" she rasps. She smirks up at him, the pain fading away. _I hope you're prepared for me joking through labor._

Hirako appears with a handful of towels. Now _this is getting embarrassing,_ Hairu decides. Ui wraps his arms around her, pulling her to her feet.

"I'm drenched," she whispers in his ear.

"Hirako?" Ui requests, holding his hand out for one of the towels. He hands one over and Ui wraps it around Hairu.

"I'll call Kimi," assures Hirako. "Good luck, you two." He flicks a strand of Ui's hair, as if he's an older brother.

"I'm still dripping," Hairu hisses to Ui.

He picks her up, carrying her out. "Are you in—"

"It's not that bad," Hairu assures him. "Yet."

Everyone gathers, standing up by their desks. Eto swallows, her face gray.

"Good luck!" calls Akira.

"Juuzou, if you follow with a camera this time, I will get a ghoul to kill you," Hairu warns.

He laughs.

Arima's waiting by the stairwell, car keys in his hand. "Hirako says Kimi will meet you at the hospital."

"Fantastic," Hairu says, her head lolling back. Ui places her in the backseat and climbs in next to her, slamming the door.

Her phone lights up with well wishes. Hairu snorts as Arima turns the keys in the ignition. Ui holds her against his chest, adjusting the towel so that she's not leaking fluid on the backseat.

"Are you excited to have your own kid?" Hairu asks.

Ui groans. "Hairu—"

"Huh?" Arima glances over his shoulder.

"You and Eto."

"I think we're both pretty nervous," Arima answers. "Neither of us exactly had great examples of parents, and Kaneki's enough of a handful. So are you two." He slows for a red light and gives them both a smile.

"What do you mean by that?" Hairu yelps.

"I mean, you two were my subordinates, and Hairu, I've known you since you were a child. I care about both of you."

"Is that you wanting to be a sort of grandfather?" Ui asks. His family hasn't been totally accepting of Hairu, since they know of her heritage.

"No, I—"

"Well, we'd like you to," Hairu interrupts. More cramps rip at her abdomen, and she arches her back.

Ui presses down on her shoulders. "Draw some air in. Now push it out."

"I'm really proud of both of you," Arima manages. "And I'm sorry I wasn't—all I should have been for you two."

"It all worked out," Ui tells him. "You couldn't—be perfect. Hairu, _breathe_."

She scrunches up her face. "We'll—be there for you—and Eto—too." _We'll try. For you.  
_

* * *

As they're admitted to the hospital, Ui notices how some staff whisper about him. They know of his connection to Goat, and that Hairu's a half-human. He scowls.

 _But I used to be like you._ He manages to meet their eyes and give them smiles.

Hairu's labor progresses much more slowly than Ui expected, and it's more brutal than he thought. Watching as agony carves itself into Hairu's face tortures him. He clutches her hand, wipes sweat from her brow, tries to encourage her to breathe, and gets her water when she begs for it, though Hairu throws it up about twenty hours after they got to the hospital.

"How long will we let this go on?" Ui asks when Kimi goes to check how dilated Hairu is again. She was only four centimeters an hour ago, at around the twenty-six hour mark.

 _Still no news?_ texts Tsukiyama.

"As long as she has energy," Kimi responds.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this," Hairu manages, tears leaking from her eyes.

_You're exhausted._

"If you need a c-section, it's okay," Ui tells her, heart thumping. "It happens."

"I don't think you will," comes Kimi's voice as Hairu contorts in pain, her fingers digging into Ui's hand. "You're nine centimeters now."

"What?" Hairu gasps.

"Get ready to push," Kimi tells her, flashing Ui a smile.

 _Will she still have the energy?_ Ui worries. Hairu sets her jaw in determination.

Of course, pushing isn't any easier, or any faster. It's also two hours before Kimi announces that the baby's crowning.

"Almost there," Kimi calls, and Hairu squeezes Ui's hand again.

An infant's cry rips through the air, and Ui leaps to his feet as Kimi hands Hairu a flailing baby boy. Tears blur his vision as the baby sobs on Hairu's chest.

Hairu looks up at him and smiles, tears pouring down her face. She's laughing, exhaustion be damned, and Ui can only hold Hairu's head with one of his hands and their son's with the other. _We're together._

_My son, the quarter-ghoul, my fiancée, the half-human, and me, the human._

_Both of them are so beautiful._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Eto is not doing well and resorts to her favourite method of coping: creating drama.


	23. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Joji cries, and Naki paces the hallway in Goat, bouncing the baby. He feels like ants are squirming inside of him. He just wants his son to be okay, to be happy—no need to cry—

" _All babies cry," Miza always says._

But Miza's been crying a lot lately, too. So much so that Naki's worried.

He loves Miza. And Joji. And Miza loves Joji, but even though Miza's always wanted kids—she told him so so many times when she was pregnant—she still cries.

"Hey, Naki," Kimi calls as she enters, holding Mie. The baby's auburn waves frame her face. She's cute. She hides her face in Kimi's shoulder. "Dropping her off for Nishiki before my shift."

"He's quieting," Naki says as Joji rests his head against Naki's chest. "Phew."

"Poor tired baby," Kimi says with a smile. "I remember when Mie had colic. It was awful. She didn't stop crying for more than an hour a day."

_Should I say something?_

_Why not?_ "Miza's been crying a lot lately, too. All the time. Adults can't get colic though, right?"

Kimi frowns. "No."

"But Miza's sad all the time," says Naki, his heart thumping. "And I want her to be happy. I think she's great and she deserves to be happy."

"Have you asked her about it?"

Naki nods. "But she doesn't say much."

"Would she be willing to talk to me?" Kimi asks. "She's—postpartum depression is a real thing. That could be what's going on, here."

 _Depression?_  His son snuggles against his chest, and Naki rubs the baby's back. "Can we fix that? I don't like seeing her sad."

"If she's willing to consider it, there are medications she can take, though I don't know how they'd work on ghouls. It'd be worth a shot, though." Kimi shrugs.

Naki nods. "Can I ask her to see you?"

"Yeah. I'll text her, too." Kimi smiles. "Thanks, Naki. You're a good partner for her."

"Husband," Naki says. "We pulled a page from Tooru and Urie's book. We eloped last weekend. Miza smiled then."

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks," says Naki. Joji's breaths even out.  _He's sleeping_. "Gonna go talk to Miza now."

"And I have to drop this precious child off with my boyfriend," says Kimi.

Naki heads to Miza's desk. She hasn't even been interested in field work lately, claiming there's no point now that Furuta is caught. But it's what she enjoys, so Naki still thinks there's a point.

Miza sits with her head slumped on her fist, staring at her email. Naki crouches next to her. "He's sleeping."

"I noticed."

"Miza," says Naki, reaching for her with his free arm. He takes her hand. "I love you."

Miza turns to face him, swallowing. She nods.

"I'm worried about you. Kimi's gonna text you; she said that you might have depression."

"What?" Miza's jaw drops. "You—"

"Don't be mad," says Naki. "Please. I just—I'm worried, Miza. I want you to be happy. You make me happy. You make Joji happy, and we love you, and we want you to be happy because we love you."

Miza's eyes pool with tears. She gulps.

"Can you text Kimi back?" Naki requests. "Ask her about stuff you can do. Whatever I can do, too, I'll do. I want to see you get better. And having a baby is a big change and when things change people can get upset."

"I do love him," Miza whispers. Hinami passes by with Akira, and they smile at both of them. "I don't want to be a bad mother."

Naki's jaw drops. "You're not a bad mom! You're—amazing. You went through nine months with someone else living inside you for Joji's sake, and you still get up and help him when he cries—you're a  _great_  mom!"

Miza presses her eyes shut, as if she wants to believe it. Naki squeezes her shoulder. "If Joji was so sad, you'd want him to take care of himself. Talk to Kimi."

Miza leans forwards, wrapping an arm around him and Joji, her forehead warm against his neck. "Okay."

* * *

Eto listens to Naki—of all people—convincing his wife to accept help. The baby rolls inside of her, and fury courses through her.

 _Furuta is a monster_.

His plan was twisted, and just because they all survived it when he was captured doesn't mean there won't be consequences. Her one cup of coffee a day tastes bitter now.

_I hate being played by that man again._

Arima's in a meeting, desperate to atone for his life as a ghoul-murderer now that he's having a baby who might very well be a ghoul. Not that they have any way of knowing before it's born. They don't even know the child's gender. Eto's refused Kimi's offers for a sonogram. She doesn't need medical help from humans. If her mother could do it with her, she can do it by herself just fine.

_We're just two desperate, lonely people._

_What kind of world are we bringing you into?_

She has no idea how to be a parent. And now her mind's cursed with thoughts of Kuzen.  _I'm not like him!_

She stares at her cup of coffee, the last few sips swirling a rich dark brown hue in her cup.  _And I'm not like Ukina, either._  Ukina probably wouldn't have done anything even mildly risky.

 _I'm not going to be a bad mother!_ Eto grabs her coffee mug and throws it in the trash can under her desk. The porcelain shatters.

"You okay?" Amon asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Fine," Eto snaps, getting to her feet, and then changing her mind and sitting back down.

Eto knows Arima's stressed, too. She sees him leaving Kaneki's office, lips pressed thin together. Neither of them knows what the hell they're doing, and Eto hates this uncertainty. She hates feeling weak. And she hates that she hates that Arima's in the position too, that he's scared, that all his insecurities have been plaguing him to the point where she's sleeping more than he is at night. But what option does he have?

_None at all._

Eto grits her teeth and glares at her computer. Her phone lights up. Hairu's sent a text to everyone, a picture of Masanori sitting next to Yuki. Eto's eyes burn.

Her legs move on their own, pushing her up even though her body's heavy now. She passes Arima's desk and he smiles at her. Her chest tightens.

She can't look back.

* * *

Arima doesn't remember the last time he cried. He learned earlier than most that there was no point.

But the letter waiting for him when he gets home sticks into him like a quinque, gutting him. He doubles over, clutching his skull.

_What can I do?_

_What do I do?_

He grabs his briefcase, now empty but for security, and starts walking. His feet carry him towards :re. The cold air presses in on him, slices through his hair as the wind blasts him, but it's nothing compared to the gnawing burn in his stomach.

_I can't ask Kaneki and Touka to help—they still have their newborn son._

_Who else even is there?_

Something slams into his shoulder. Arima whirls around, reflexes still good.

"Sorry," says Yomo Renji, in a voice that isn't very sorry at all.

Arima nods.

"Are you going to see Kaneki and Touka?" he asks, the sky darkening over their heads. Red and purple bleed into deep blue.

Arima opens his mouth, but no sound comes out.  _Yes, no—I don't know?_  He's never felt paralyzed like this—there was always a way forward.

Yomo's nose wrinkles under the streetlight. "Are you crying?"

His cheeks feel wet, cold freezing warm tears. "I have to find her."

"Who?"

Arima looks at him, and Yomo's eyes narrow.

"Where did she go?"

Arima fumbles in his pocket and hands Yomo the letter. He knew this pregnancy was hard on Eto—knew she was thinking, as he was, about the terrible upbringing she had, about her father abandoning her, about her mother who cannibalized to give her life.

_I didn't realize how bad it'd gotten._

Yomo's eyes widen. "What did you do?"

Arima shakes his head. "Whatever I did, I need to—find her—apologize—I need her."  _And our baby._

_I want him or her._

_I want this chance to love them, to try again._ He thinks of how he manipulated Kaneki and self-loathing slaps him. Gorge rises. "I have to find her—no matter what."

"Let's get inside," says Yomo.

_Your sister, Hikari—she was the person you would look for no matter what, wasn't she?_

"I'm so sorry," Arima chokes out. His shoulders shake.

Yomo blanches he realizes what Arima's apologizing for. He jerks his head as if to say  _come on._

Kurona and Seidou are there too, Kurona chugging a decaf coffee as Seidou rubs her stomach. Kaneki takes one look at Arima's face and his jaw drops. Touka bounces Yuki.

"Shit," says Takeomi, who's there with Yoriko too, apparently.

"She left me," Arima says., dropping into a chair, and he can't continue. It scrapes at his chest. "I want—if she wants to go, she can go—but—I need to talk to her—I need—our baby—" He clenches his fists, trying to keep his face stoic.

Kaneki drags out the seat in front of him, plopping down. He grabs Arima's shoulders. "We'll find her."

Arima bites his cheeks, blood spilling, bitter. "If she doesn't want to be found—"

"I called Tsukiyama," says Touka. Yoriko cuddles Yuki, Takeomi trying to make the baby smile. "He's getting Chie to hack into Eto's computer—we'll see if she booked a room somewhere or left any clues."

Arima can't even speak.  _Tsukiyama, of all people, is helping me find Eto? Even though he hasn't forgiven her for hurting Karren?_

 _This is—something I never hoped for._  He wipes at his eyes.

Touka hands Arima some coffee with cream. He gulps it. Kurona and Seidou stand nearby, both frowning.

Touka's phone rings. She snatches it and puts it on speaker. "Shuu?"

"Karren, actually," says Karren. "Arima, we're not sure we found anything of use. Chie says she spent all of today googling old stories about herself and Noro in the 24th ward—"

"That's it!" Arima realizes, leaping to his feet.

"What?" Karren sounds confused.

"She's—in the 24th ward," Arima says.  _Of course._  With all the time she's spent thinking about that place lately—"I'm going."

"Alone?" yelps Touka. "That's really fucking—"

"I'll go with him," Yomo declares. "Call Uta and tell him I'll be late, Touka."

"You?" Kaneki's eyes bulge.

"Kuzen never forgave himself for his mistakes," Yomo says as he gets to his feet, shrugging into his coat. "I don't think he'd want to see his daughter make the same ones."

_I made sure your sister could never return to her husband and children._

_You're helping me find my girlfriend and child._

Arima contemplates holding out his hand, but he doubts Yomo's ready for that. Instead, he nods at him. "Thank you."

* * *

Shadows sprawl across the underground ward, dark and obscuring Arima's view. The 24th ward is still populated by ghouls who are less willing to seek out a future living alongside humans. Arima's been in situations like these before, back when he was an investigator. Still, goosebumps rise on his neck.  _Eto, where are you?_

He knows why she left. His chest still aches.  _I miss her._

Footsteps echo behind them, quiet enough that most people wouldn't notice. But Arima does. Yomo frowns next to him.

Arima spins around just as a man with white hair and a red mask emerges. "Tatara!"

The ghoul's kagune emerges, and Yomo leaps in front of Arima, his own kagune out. "We're looking for Eto!"

"I figured," states Tatara.

"Do you know where she is?" demands Yomo. "Because she's pregnant, and—"

"I figured that out when she showed up here with a giant belly."

Neither ghoul withdraws their kagune. Arima's palms twitch. His muscles remember these situations, and it feels wrong with his shoulders so tense but his hands devoid of a quinque. "You weren't in contact with her?"

"No," Tatara says, and there's bitterness in his voice.

"Oh," says Arima. He steps out from behind Yomo. "I need to find her. Please. It's my baby too—if she tells me to go, I'll go." His heart pounds.  _I don't want her to tell me to go._

Tatara cocks his head, studying him. "She's not safe here. Some ghouls—"

"She's not safe among humans either," Yomo concurs, withdrawing his kagune.

Tatara withdraws his own. "What are you thinking, having a child?"

"It wasn't planned," Arima admits.

Tatara scowls.

"But I love her," Arima blurts out. Goddammit, he's never said those words aloud before—or to himself, even. But it's true. She understands him, and he understands her, and they may hate themselves, but this—their child—it's the one part of him he can't hate.  _I love our baby too_. And he still sees so many things he likes in her, and maybe—maybe she sees things that are worth liking in him, too. "Please." His voice cracks.

Yomo gapes at him. Tatara gives a brisk nod and turns on his heel, stalking off. Arima follows, Yomo behind him, guarding him.

Tatara leads them into a crumpling building and up a flight of cracked concrete stairs. Arima takes in the bleak ward.  _This is where you were raised by Noro, isn't it, Eto?_

"Sorry," Tatara says as he steps into a room where a light glows, and then immediately steps out, gesturing for Arima to enter.

He steps over the threshold. Yomo doesn't follow. A single light bulb glimmers a deep dying yellow in the center of the room comprised of wooden boards nailed together. Pens and papers line a round table, and Eto stands next to it. A pen falls from her hand.

"Eto—"

She stares at him, green eyes wide. "You came after me?"

He gulps.  _I don't know how to not fuck this up_.

Maybe that's okay. He erfuses to believe he's fucked up his child's life before he or she's even born.

He nods.

Eto swallows, and then she rushes towards him and grabs him, pressing her face against his chest like the night she told him she was pregnant. Her fingers tighten on his shoulders.

"Eto," he manages. "I don't want—if you want to leave, I would understand, but I—I want to try—I want—I want our baby, and I want the chance to try with him or her—try not to fuck it up—try with you—I want you."  _I don't stay with you just because I have no other options. I want you._

Shock dawns on her face, and he doesn't have to say those words aloud, because his coming here—he can tell she understands.

Something twists her lips— _regret?_

She's sorry for hurting him. Arima's lips curve. She doesn't even have to say it, and she won't.

"Thank you," Eto says.

_For coming for me, like my father didn't._

"I want you," he repeats. "And our baby."

"I want it too," Eto says, her voice trembling, and then she pulls his face down to kiss him.

"You'll never believe who helped me find you," Arima murmurs in her ear.

"Yomo Renji?" Eto screeches. He lifts a hand, sticking his head through the door. Eto smiles.

* * *

Eto sends a text to Goat, announcing that she's come back. She can't quite bring herself to apologize to anyone except Arima, and her baby.

"My plan was to have Tatara give you the baby after it was born," Eto admits as she lies down on their bed, Arima's arms around her. She faces him. Sleep tugs at her eyelids. "I was going to be exactly like my father."

"You don't have to be."

Eto bites her lip. "I know."

But maybe in some ways… Yomo came. Because of what her father did for him, even if he never came for Eto.

She remembers what Hairu told her.  _I don't hate you. I just can't help you._

_I don't hate you anymore, Kuzen._

Eto leans her head against Arima's bare chest and drifts off into a gray, dreamless slumber.

She wakes a few hours later as golden dawn bleeds through their curtains. Touka's texted her.  _I'm glad you're back._

Eto smiles. Her stomach cramps as she eases herself out of bed to use the bathroom. Arima snores lightly and she shifts so that she can slide out from his arms.

 _I do love you,_  she thinks as she peers at him.  _You give me hope._

_Not the ghoul who kills you. You, Kishou._

Eto hobbles into the bathroom. Her stomach still aches, but it's too early for her to be in labor. She's only 34 weeks. She hops into the shower, hoping the warm water soothes the pain away. The baby squirms inside her and she pokes it, grinning to herself. She emerges with her towel wrapped around herself.

_Maybe I'll have a decaf coffee today. Or half-decaf and half regular._

Arima stirs and blinks up at her. "Morning."

"Morning," Eto replies, settling on the bed in nothing but her towel. Another cramp runs through her and she grimaces.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Eto says. She thinks. She can't be in labor this early. "Thanks for coming again."

Arima caresses her face and kisses her. Eto arches her back. She lets go of the bright red towel, and Arima kisses her stomach, the belly button popping now that she's so advanced. The baby kicks him, and Arima laughs.

And then he freezes. "Eto?"

"Yeah?" She pushes herself up on her elbows. Another cramp.

"You're bleeding—only a little bit, but—"

 _Shit. Shit, shit, shit! This can't be happening!_ Eto gapes at him.

Arima grabs his phone, dialing. She previously stated that she wanted Banjou to help her deliver—Ukina had her without help; having the ghoul healer would be plenty good enough. And she can't go to a hospital because people will recognize her.

"He's on his way—"

"Call Kimi," Eto interrupts, grabbing Arima's elbow as a contraction— _fuck, fuck, that's what this is_ —sears her abdomen. "I don't care what I said earlier; call her!" She doubles over, massaging her belly. The baby shifts again.  _Good, you're alive._ "Yuki exists," she says aloud. "Yuki's okay—our baby will be—"

"Thanks, Kimi," Arima says, hanging up. "She's on her way."

Eto shakes her head, peering up at him. "I didn't do anything—risky or strenuous yesterday—I—"

"Eto," Arima interrupts, climbing on the bed and taking her in his arms again. "I know. I know you want this baby."

She grits her teeth.  _How could I have been so stupid?_ If she hurt her child with her stupidity...

Banjou and Kimi arrive together, Kimi directing a barrage of questions at Eto: when did it start? Did she notice any extra fluid when she used the bathroom?

"I felt achey the past two days," Eto admits. "But—I didn't think—"  _I should have asked._

 _Dammit._ She put her child's safety at risk because she's been too—

Her phone lights up. A text from Hinami.  _Good luck!_

"The heart rate's strong," Kimi reports.

"Should we go to a hospital?" asks Arima.

Kimi presses her lips together. "'l'll call the hospital."

 _This world still sucks for ghouls_.

But Kimi's still here, a human and the mother of a half-ghoul, treating Eto. And now she's on the phone, fighting for Eto and her baby.

Kimi returns, nodding. "I lied to them. I'm not giving your identity—I just said Arima Kishou would be guarding this ghoul. Arima, can you wrap a scarf or something around her hair?"

Arima nods, scrambling for a scarf. He grabs one of his shirts and helps Eto into it. She stumbles down the stairs and into Banjou's car.

Once they're at the hospital, Kimi direct them through a back entrance. Eto can barely stand up.  _I don't care about what you think of me, you pathetic humans. I just—want my baby to be okay._

_Wouldn't you?_

Kimi leads them to a small room where she shuts the door. Arima coaxes Eto through labor, supporting her when pain wracks her frame, and all Eto can think of is her mother.  _How much did I hurt you?_

"You're doing well, and so is the baby," Kimi promises her. "34 weeks is enough so that the baby's lungs might be okay, but if they aren't, we can put him or her on oxygen and in an incubator."

Arima wipes sweat from Eto's forehead. Outside, snowflakes fall to the ground. Two weeks until Christmas, Eto remembers.  _Your first Christmas_ , she thinks as pain bites into her again.

Arima breathes with her, rubs her back, combs her sweat-slicked hair back from her face. Eto's water breaks at exactly noon.

"Not long now; you're eight centimeters dilated," Kimi reports. Banjou smiles down at Eto.

 _Even if they don't ever care about me, they'll care about my baby,_ Eto knows.  _The people in Goat._

The heart rate suddenly drops, and Eto squints. "I—"

"Turn on your side," Kimi requests. Eto obeys. The heart rate doesn't come back up.

Kimi grabs another glove to do an exam. "I—" Her face suddenly freezes.

"What?" Arima demands.

Kimi suddenly shoves her hand up Eto. "Banjou, the cord's prolapsed!"

"What does that mean?" Arima demands. Pain wracks Eto's frame, pulverizing her abdomen.

"It means you need a c-section  _now!"_  Kimi screams. "Banjou, go find someone and make them come here if you have to use your kagune to do it!"

Banjou races out of the room. The baby's heart rate stays down, and Eto finally screams in pain, dignity be damned. The emotional pain is worse than the contractions.  _Please!_

_If I'd gotten prenatal care—_

"Don't blame yourself, Eto," Kimi pants, hand still inside Eto. "It's not your fault—there's nothing that can prevent this—"

_Are you trying to say that our baby might not make it? After all I've been through?_

_No._ Eto refuses to believe it. Y _ou'll make it. You have to._

"I have to keep the baby's head off the cord," Kimi tells them. "So he or she can still breathe—"

"I'll get the prime minister on the phone if I have to!" she hears a familiar voice threatening outside. "Get her in the operating room!"

_Kaneki?_

Banjou bursts into the room with several doctors behind him. He looks at Eto. "Kaneki's been waiting to meet his nephew—the moment I told him there was a complication—"

"Will anesthesia even—" starts one of the doctors, an older man.

"Who gives a damn?" Eto screeches, and the doctor pales as he recognizes her. "Don't knock me out; I'm a bloody ghoul and I'll heal! Just  _get my baby out!"_

Banjou, Arima, and one of the other doctors, a chubby woman who smells delicious, push Eto down the hall, Kimi with her hand still inside Eto. Eto catches one glimpse of Kaneki, his face white.

They get her in the operating room, bumping a human prepping for a c-section. Eto sees the scalpel. They don't bother to knock her out, and she's glad. The blade cuts into her, and Eto screams again. Arima clutches her shoulders, holding her down. She doesn't even care if she heals.

_I'm not letting you take this away from me—world, humans, Furuta, myself._

A baby screams.

"She's already healing," Eto hears Kimi saying as Banjou's kagune moves over her stomach, right before red bleeds into white and she passes out.

* * *

When she wakes up, she's lying under bright lights and a white ceiling. It all floods back—the hospital, the c-section— _how long was I out for?_

Eto sits bolt upright, her stomach still sore, though the wound's not visible anymore.

"You're awake!" Banjou cries out. "I've been healing you and—"

"Where is my baby?" Eto snarls.

"Eto!" The door flies open, and Arima rushes inside. A baby, wrapped in a soft blue blanket, cries in his arms.

"She's okay," Kimi says from behind her. "She wasn't even blue when we delivered her—she's going to be fine."

"It's been two hours," Banjou says.

Arima climbs onto the bed next to her, and Eto sees tears in his eyes. He hands her the tiny bundle.

Blue hair, like Arima when he was younger, but the nose—the shape of the eyes, Ukina's eyes—Eto unwraps the blanket.

_A girl._

_Like me._

_You're the best of my life._  Eto plants her lips on her daughter's forehead. She looks up at Arima and shakes her head.  _Did we really do this?_

Arima lets out the most carefree laugh she's ever heard from him.

"Thank you, Kimi, Banjou," Eto says as her daughter starts to cry. Eto sticks her finger out, and the baby grasps it.

"We could name her Ukina," suggests Arima.

Eto meets his gaze and shakes her head.  _She'll have her own story. She won't be a ghost_. "Nozomi."

"Nozomi," Arima repeats. "It's perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Christmas and one last baby... for the time being, anyways.


	24. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Kaneki announces his intentions to step down after New Year's, with Juuzou, Amon, and Yomo taking over. He still plans to work daily at Goat—but with a little less responsibility. By the time Christmas rolls around, in fact, everyone seems more or less used to the idea. Nishiki sets up a calendar to count down to his abdication.

"Remember two years ago today?" Hinami asks as she, Ayato, and Ryouko head to Tsukiyama's Christmas celebration with Kaneki, Yuki, and Touka. "When everyone found out we were pregnant?"

"Oh yeah, I do," Ayato says breezily. The cold wind whips at their face, and he turns to grin at Kaneki. "Someone was  _really angry_  without realizing that within a year and a half he'd knock up my sister."

Kaneki presses Yuki against his shoulder, shielding the baby from the icy weather.  _You're safe here._   _I'll keep you warm._

"Ayato, I can and will still punch you," Touka threatens.

"You could, but you won't."

"Do you want to test that?" Kaneki's fiancée barks.

They'll be getting married right after New Year's, too. No frills, like Touka wanted. But she did want a dress, albeit not a fancy one like Karren's or Akira's. Yoriko and Hinami helped her pick it out, but none of them will give Kaneki any hints.

It doesn't matter. She could wear rags and have coffee grinds smeared on her cheeks and still be beautiful.

"Pass," says Ayato, holding up his hands. Hinami snickers.

Lights cover the house around them, glittering. There's no snow, but there doesn't need to be. Their breaths form frosty puffs. Kaneki slides his eyes towards Ayato, looking for any sign of nerves. In the streetlights, his face does look pale.

He really has no reason to worry, but Kaneki almost gnawed his knuckles off before asking Touka, so he understands.

Tsukiyama welcomes them into the house, covered in garlands and with mistletoe hanging from the ceiling in the center of the room.

"Merry Christmas!" Hairu cheers, rushing towards him and embracing him. Ui hangs back, holding a chubby-cheeked Masanori, who's about the same size as Yuki despite being several months younger and already has a full head of pink hair.  _Best friends,_  Hairu's already proclaimed. "Oh, Yuki looks adorable! Can I hold him?"

"Well—" Kaneki begins.

"Sure," says Touka, elbowing Kaneki.

Yuki whimpers as Kaneki hands him over, but goes right to sleep in Hairu's arms. "He's so cute!"

Kaneki's gaze finds Ui's, offering him a smile. Ui's shoulders relax as he smiles back. Akira heads over, carrying her son.

"Oh King Kaneki—because I only get to call you that for another six days—get over here!" Tsukiyama calls, waving him over to where he sits with Irimi, Koma, and Naki. Kaneki laughs and follows.

Tooru and Urie sit on the floor with their twins, Karren, and Rose. The babies play with blocks. Saiko and Hsiao kiss under the mistletoe, and Juuzou jokes about lighting the Christmas tree on fire and Hanbee accidentally does so, if only for a moment before Yomo tosses water at it to quench the flames. Yoriko offers everyone who can eat human food a tray of her pastries. Arima leans back with a cup of wine in his hand, chatting with Miza, who laughs as she lifts Joji up in the air, making the baby giggle. Despite the noise, Eto's dead asleep, her head on Arima's shoulder and Nozomi asleep on her chest. Shikorae plays a board game with Shio, Yusa, and Rikai, Asa shows Uta and Itori her most recent mask designs, and Hakatori sits on Ikuma's lap while Chie rushes around taking photographs.

"I figured we should invite everyone we could," says Tsukiyama with a shrug. "No V and no Furuta to worry about."

"A good plan," says Touka as she kneels down next to Urie. Amon talks to Mirumo and Shinohara, all of them laughing together.

Hinami and Ayato stumble into the room an hour later. Kaneki gets to his feet.

"Hey, we're talking here," complains Naki.

"I think he has something else on his mind," says Irimi, gesturing.

Hinami holds up her hand with a ring.

"Congratulations!" cries Touka.

"Yes!" cheers Tsukiyama, pumping his fists.

"No way!" shrieks Nishiki.

"Is it that surprising?" Hinami asks, blinking.

"That's not it," Nishiki snaps.

_Huh?_

Kimi holds up her hand.

"None of you even noticed!" Nishiki accuses.

Kaneki laughs. "Congratulations to both of you."

"At long as you don't plan on getting married on the same day," Nishiki says grouchily.

"Spring," says Ayato.

"Summer," confirms Kimi. She and Hinami nod at each other with identical grins.

 _We're all so happy,_  Kaneki thinks. _Who ever would have guessed?_

 _It's all I ever wanted._ Everyone happy, together, safe. Even if it's for a brief moment.

 _Where's Kurona?_ Seidou and Ui chat on one of the couches, but Kaneki can't find her.  _Oh, there she is_. Kurona heads away from the kitchen, leaning over and whispering in Seidou's ear.

"What?" Seidou shrieks, spilling alcoholic blood down Ui's shirt.

* * *

"Did you have to yell?" Kurona hisses. She grimaces. "It's not exactly—unexpected." All the ridiculous smells of the house—cinnamon candles, nutmeg, blood—nauseate her. She's been having contractions on and off all day, but only the past hour and a half have they been regular.

"Are you in labor?" Akira asks, rushing over. She clearly wants to repay Kurona for all the help she gave her when she delivered her son.

"Merry Christmas," jokes Hide. Seidou glowers at him.

"Good thing I love what I do," Kimi says, pecking Nishiki on the lips. "Let's go. Seidou, you aren't driving."

"I barely had anything to drink!"

"But you're an anxious wreck."

"I'll drive," offers Amon.

"Fine," Seidou grouses.

"Don't worry," Kurona ekes out. "I don't think we'll have a repeat of what happened when Akira was in labor." It feels as if someone's mashing up her insides with a bladed club.

Seidou grabs her, hoisting her to her feet and helping her out the door. The frigid air slaps her and she gasps. "I forgot my coat."

"I've got it," Akira calls, shoving it at her husband. "Good luck. We'll take care of the dog."

"Thanks." Seidou gives her a smile as he helps Kurona into the backseat. Kurona groans.

"Breathe," Kimi instructs as she slams the door. She pulls out her phone to call the hospital. "Amon, get going."

"Christmas baby," Seidou jokes. "Maybe this baby will be the new savior."

"First time labor takes hours, sometimes days," Kimi says. "The only reason Akira had Seidou in the car was because she waited so long—yes, hello? It's Nishino."

"What time is it?" Kurona asks, Seidou stroking her hair. She curls up next to him, gritting her teeth. His heartbeat echoes under his ribs, soothing her. Her hands grip her stomach.

 _In a few—well, maybe more than a few—hours, we'll be holding you._  A shiver cuts down Kurona's spine.

"7:43," Seidou reports after checking his phone.

Another contraction hits, and Kurona clamps her hand over her mouth, but she can't muffle the scream. It pries out from her lips, splitting the air. Amon slams on the brakes for a red light.

"Sorry," Kurona mumbles.  _Is it supposed to hurt this badly?_

The moment they arrive at the hospital, Kimi darts out to get a wheelchair. Seidou coaches Kurona through another contraction.  _Huh_. "You're actually pretty good at this," she manages.

Seidou gives her a weak smile. "I wish I was in pain instead of you."

Kurona shakes her head. "No. You don't want this pain."

"Probably not," he admits, and she shoves his shoulder.

Amon runs his hands through his hair. "There's Kimi."

Once they're inside, Kimi hooks Kurona up to monitors. Kurona tries to focus on the stabbing lights piercing her eyes from the ceiling, on the mint green of the curtain, on the feel of the sheets as she scrapes their edges across her fingertips. Seidou runs his hands through her hair again and again.

"I'll be right back," Kimi says, darting out of the room.

"Is something wrong?" Kurona shouts. Seidou stiffens. Kurona glances at the clock.  _8:23_.

"I'm sure it's fine," Seidou says, even as he practically chews his own lip off.  _You're not very good at lying._

Kimi barges back in, muttering curses under her breath.

"What's happening?" Kurona asks.

Kimi lets out her breath. "Your baby is breech."

"What? She was fine a week ago—"

"I know." Kimi grips her hair and scrunches up her face.

"That means the baby's upside down, right?" Seidou asks.

"Yes, and it's associated with greater risks giving birth," Kimi says. "Many doctors recommend a caesarian section."

A contraction hits Kurona, and she doubles over. "Do we—have—no—other options?" she pants.  _I don't want someone to cut me up._  And they'd have to go fast, considering her body will try to heal itself.

 _But if the baby's upside down…_ Kurona's read about this, and judging by the horrified look on Seidou's face, he has too.

"I sent a page to the two doctors here who will do breech births," Kimi says. "I'm sorry, but if it's just me, Kurona, Seidou, I don't feel comfortable coaching you through a breech birth." She clutches the sides of her face. "Especially not after what happened with Eto had Nozomi. I don't want a repeat of that, and even though it's rare, the risks of having a cord prolapse or another life-threatening complication are too much for me. A more experienced doctor might be able to do it, though."

"How long can we wait to see?" Kurona demands.

"I'll give them an hour to get back to me. You're progressing fine, so that's not a concern."

* * *

 _How's it going?_  Kaneki texts Seidou.

 _The baby's breech,_  he replies.  _We might have to have a c-section.  
_

The risks aren't so much to Kurona, in her half-ghoul body, as they are to their baby.  _Nashiro_. She's been named since the day they found out what they were having, when Kurona cheered, " _I knew it!"_  and Seidou laughed.

"She won't be my sister," Kurona said later that night. "But I'd like to honor Shiro's memory this way."

 _If we ever had another child,_  Seidou wondered. Not that he's necessarily eager to, but he might be. Someday.  _And we named it after my mother or father, would that be an insult to their memory? Or, if they could see me now, would they be excited at the idea?_

_I'll never know._

As he watches Kurona's face screw up in agony again, sweat dripping down mottled skin, he can't help but think about how he'd do anything— _anything_ —to ensure that Nashiro is born healthy, that she lives a happy life, a free life, a good life. Not matter what she ever does— _she could eat me and I wouldn't hate her._

_I'd just want her to be okay in the end._

_Would they forgive me? Did they love me this much? Is it possible?_

Seidou remembers his mother, always baking his favorite dishes, always proud of him. Even when he came in second to Akira and grumbled about it, she told him how proud she was of him. She wouldn't let him say a bad word about himself.

_Would you think me a monster if I showed up a ghoul? Or would you have been just happy to see me?_

He can't remember, but he does remember screaming.

_I love you, Mom, Dad. Still._

_And I want to honor your memories_. He blinks back a sting in his eyes.  _She'll know how loved she is. Always._

Kimi returns after a half an hour, mouth pinched.

"They won't do it," Kurona guesses.

Kimi shakes her head.

"Because we're ghouls, right?" Seidou spits. He has half a mind to tear those doctors limb from limb.  _This is my daughter, and she's just as worthy of life as anyone else's!_

Kimi sighs. "I can—try, if you want, but I will say that I'm not comfortable with it. If something goes wrong—I don't have any experience with vaginal breech births, and Eto and Arima were very lucky with Nozomi."

"Then do the c-section," Kurona interrupts. "You did one with Eto, right? You saved Nozomi that way."

Kimi bites her lip. She looks at Seidou. He could vomit. "It's probably our best option," she tells them.

"Then do it," Kurona states. Another contraction grabs her, and she doubles over. A low moan escapes through her lips.

Seidou feels as if all his joints at stuck together with superglue. He can't talk.  _These cursed bodies we have—_

_Others could help us, but they won't—_

_I could have helped, and I killed—_

Hot, sticky tears run down his face.

"I know it's scary," Kimi says, crouching down. "But I'm going to do my best, okay? My track record's pretty great."

"Besides Eto, how many c-sections have you done?" Seidou demands.  _There's my voice._

"On humans, plenty of them." Kimi straightens. "I'm going to call for an operating room."

Seidou shudders.

"Can you text everyone?" Kurona asks, writhing in pain. " _God_ , this hurts."

 _Will the numbing medication even work?_  Seidou freezes again.

Kurona swears as if she's just had the exact same thought.  _It has to,_  he reassures himself.

He grabs his phone, texting Amon and Kaneki the news. Kimi returns with several orderlies to wheel Kurona away to an operating room.

"I  _think_  this will work," Kimi says as an anesthesiologist, wearing a mask over his face, prepares the longest needle Seidou has ever seen in his entire life, including his time being tortured in Kanou's lab.

 _Ugh_. Seidou doesn't want to think about that man right now. Not when his daughter's about to enter his world.

"Seidou, come here," Kimi calls, thrusting a long bluish garment at him that looks similar to the one she's donned. "Wear this."

"What time is it?" Kurona asks.

"9:01," the anesthesiologist calls. He blanches when Seidou looks in his direction.  _Have you heard of me or do I look that scary?_

Kurona giggles. "Christmas baby after all."

_How can you laugh right now? Please inject me with whatever it is._

The anesthesiologist, a man in his forties, cracks a smile. "Indeed. Congratulations, you two. Good luck."

 _Congratulations… like he knows it will be fine._  Seidou swallows. "Thank you."

Kimi hangs a small screen blocking their view. "No, Seidou, I don't recommend you look."

"Gore isn't likely to freak me out."

"Your girlfriend's blood might be a different story."

 _True_. Seidou nods. He grips Kurona's hand. He hears a clank, as if Kimi's grabbed something metal. Maybe one of the instruments. He focuses on Kurona, watching her face for any twitch, any color draining, anything to indicate she's in pain.

"You know," says Kurona. "I can't even feel the contractions anymore."

"Good," calls Kimi.

"Love you," Kurona says.

_To me?_

He clutches her hand to his cheek and leans over, pressing his forehead against hers.

"It feels like they're tugging," Kurona says.

"That's normal," Kimi calls. "It doesn't hurt?"

"No." But she's nervous now. Sweat dampens the hair around her temples. Her nails dig into Seidou's palm.

And then they hear a scream, and Seidou can't help but leap to his feet. Kurona tries to prop herself up.

Kimi holds a wriggling baby girl, soaked in blood, aloft. She rushes the baby over to them, pressing her against Kurona's chest, and then rushes back. Although Seidou wonders if she'll even need to do stitches.

It doesn't matter. Their baby blinks her eyes, set like Kurona's own. Her lips flutter open, and her voice rasps as she cries. Kurona's own lips turn in as she sobs, clinging to her infant's tiny hand.

 _Nashiro_. Seidou leans his face on Kurona's shoulder, studying every inch of her face, her chest, her bent arms and legs, her toes with their little nails and her eyelashes, her pink skin, her nose that looks exactly like how his mother's nose used to look. Seidou feels snot making his way down his face and wipes it with his shirt. His head throbs, but who cares?

_I love you so much._

_I can't be a perfect father. I'm going to fail you. But I'm going to try my damn best to give you the life you deserve._

_I hope you're okay anyways._

* * *

"Unlike most people who have a c-section, you're perfectly healthy right now," Kimi says with a laugh. "I'll text everyone the news."

"Thanks," Kurona whispers.

"Thank you so much, Kimi," Seidou chokes out, cradling his daughter in his arms.

A lump forms in Kimi's throat. "You're welcome."  _This never gets old_. And someday, maybe she'll deliver Yoriko and Takeomi's baby. Not to mention more kids for any of them if they want them, and lots of other ghouls and some humans are coming to her.

"So will this help your studies?" asks Kurona.

"Maybe. You're my first non-human c-section case. Although, mostly I'm finding that pregnancy is not so different between ghouls and humans."

"What a shock," grunts Kurona.

"Eh, to a lot of people it might be." Kimi rolls her eyes.

Seidou snaps a picture of his daughter's face and sends it to the group. Kimi smiles and slips out, giving them the rest of the holiday to themselves.

She's exhausted. Every muscle in her body aches, and she just wants to go home and rest. Although Mie's never been great at sleeping in.  _Maybe Nishiki will take her early in the morning._ Actually, Kimi's sure he will.

She reaches the waiting room and jerks to a halt.

"Why hi," says Nishiki, Mie asleep on his lap.

"None of us wanted to stay at the party, especially when we knew it wouldn't be long after all," Karren says.

"So we brought the party here," Tsukiyama declares, wrapping his arm around Ui, who cringes, and then manages a smile. The room's black chairs are all covered with people from Goat, and an elderly couple who must be awaiting a grandchild. The man looks uneasy, shifting in his seat. The woman looks fascinated.

"Seidou sent a picture!" yelps Hinami, her ring flashing in the lights. "Look! Aw, she's so cute." Ayato peers over her shoulder.

Kaneki meets Kimi's eyes and cringes. "Is the hospital freaking out right now at having so many ghouls here?"

"Probably." Kimi shrugs. "Although, who cares."

Touka laughs. Amon and Akira both frantically type congratulations in their phones. Yoriko and Takeomi kiss.

"Thanks, Kimi," says Juuzou, tossing his head. Shinohara and Hanbee both smile at him.

"Huh?"  _You really are happy this Nashiro is okay,_  Kimi realizes, looking at the joy on his face.

"You know," says Urie. "You're kind of a hero to all of us." Urie holds his daughter, Tooru his son. Tooru nods.

"You are," agrees Saiko.

_Me. Just a human._

_But I love so many ghouls._  If it hadn't turned out like that… Kimi doesn't know what would have happened. She turns to Nishiki and embraces him, burying her face in his shoulder. Her arms encircle their daughter.

Hide and Saiko bicker over nicknames for Nashiro while Hsiao rolls her eyes. Touka kisses Kaneki's cheek, and he blushes.  _Still_. Yomo chatters and chatters, gleeful, and even Uta grins. Shirazu debates with Hanbee, Mikage, Tamaki, and Nakarai about which of these kids will fall in love with each other. Miza and Naki cradle Joji, and Eto wraps Nozomi in the blanket Juuzou made for her decorated with apples and owls. Arima smiles at them both.

_We're all home now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: a six year timeskip! You'll get to see how everyone's handling parenthood... and what mischief their kids are up to. (And, unfortunately, what Furuta is up to because why would happiness last forever ahahahahaha -_- .)
> 
> Also, mercyandmagic has been drawing some adorable fanart/comics for this story! You can find it on my tumblr (hamliet) under the tag "the (mis)adventures of goat"-she drew one for each couple, which was sweet of her, and they're really funny. Thank you mercyandmagic!


	25. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As mentioned previously, this chapter begins the timeskip... and could really be considered The (Mis)Adventures of Goat: Part 2.

_**Six years later** _

"Mommy  _Mommy Mommymommymommy!"_

Hinami feels a hand grip her face. Ayato groans next to her on the bed.

_What time is it?_

"Wake  _up."_

Hinami feels someone climbing on top of her. She squints, trying to force herself out of her dream. Part of her still clings to it, to the feeling of a soft, comforting blanket wrapped around her.  _Mom and Dad were here._  Playing with Ryouko, their grandchild, in the living room just beyond the bedroom door. Ayato crouched on the floor next to them, and when he turned to look at Hinami, he smiled.

But it was just a dream.

"The sun isn't even up yet, Ryouko," Ayato mumbles.

"But your phone's been singing for the past half hour," their daughter chirps.

" _What?"_  Ayato sits bolt upright. Hinami's eyelids fly open. She clutches the blanket to her chest and looks at Ayato.  _Neither of us are dressed._

"I get to go to work with you today!" sings Ryouko, bouncing on their bed. "Since there's no school!" Her wild hair, dark like Ayato's, sticks out in tangles. She beams up at them, her nightgown askew.

"Ryouko," Ayato says. "Can you bring our phones here? And then go wake up your little brother. Mom and Dad will be right out, okay?"

"'Kay," sings Ryouko, scrambling off the bed. The moment the door slams, Hinami leaps up and grabs her robe.

Ayato rolls his eyes as he shimmies into a pair of pants. "That was close."

Hinami snorts.

"Here you go, Daddy!" Ryouko flings the door open, holding out Ayato's phone. "It's Uncle Kaneki."

Hinami raises her eyebrows.  _What's he calling about?_

"Seven missed calls?" Ayato cringes.

Hinami takes her own phone from Ryouko. "Six."

"I win," says Ayato with a roll of his eyes as he dials. "Hey, Kaneki?"

Hinami scurries out of the room. Their son, now almost three, still sleeps. Akito's a much better sleeper even now than Ryouko's even been.

"I'm so excited," Ryouko gushes, prancing over to the window. "I get to visit Goat and see Mie and everyone else, and we can tell them all about school. I miss Goat when we're at school but I like school so now I'm going to miss school."

Hinami grins as she pulls out a dress for Ryouko to wear and tugs Ryouko away from the window. Books lie scattered on the floor, as Hinami's made a point to read to both her children every night. She's even written a few children's stories that Ryouko loves. Ryouko just finished her first year of school and will be turning eight in just a few months.  _She can probably choose her own clothes_.

Even though Ryouko's a ghoul, she's been integrated into the classroom with human kids. Not that it's been easy, or that Hinami and Ayato haven't had fervent discussions about whether it's the best thing for their daughter. As members of Goat, they feel a responsibility to live out their principles of a society where humans and ghouls get along. But their daughter isn't a tool. She's their daughter.

Ryouko cried when parents took their kids out of her classroom or didn't invite her to parties, but she always has Nishino Mie at her side, and Amon Seidou, though Seidou can at least eat human food. Next year, Tsukiyama Rose, Urie Chiasa, Urie Isamu, Kaneki Yuki, Ui Masanori, Kusakari Joji, Arima Nozomi, and Takizawa Nashiro will be joining them at school.

Ayato appears and leans against the doorframe. Hinami urges Ryouko to get dressed and slips out. "What's going on?"

"Hide's picked up on rumors that a group of ghouls may be looking to recreate V," Ayato says. "Or may have already recreated it. They're organizing."

 _"What?"_  Hinami's brow pinches. Her pulse quickens.

"They say they're former associates of Kaiko's," Ayato adds, keeping his voice low. "So—"

 _Yikes_. "Who's going to interrogate Furuta in prison?" Hinami asks.

"That's what we need to discuss," Ayato admits. "I'll get Akito up since Ryouko didn't do it."

"Thanks."

They look like every other family on the street in the morning, Hinami notes. Coffee cups clutched in both her hand and Ayato's, Ayato carrying their son on his hip and Ryouko skipping ahead and singing.  _We don't look like ghouls._

Her heart seizes as she thinks about some ghouls recreating V. Goat has to walk a precarious line, or risk turning ghouls against them. And with Ryouko attending school openly as a ghoul, and Mie as a half-ghoul… Hinami gulps.

"Mie!" shrieks Ryouko as they arrive at Goat's office building, still small and out of the way so no locals will suspect its location. Their daughter springs at her best friend, who hugs her back. Nishiki grins at them; Kimi's still working at the hospital.

Inside the entryway, Hinami finds Higemaru Touma whispering to a green-haired boy and a purple-haired girl. The twins, Isamu and Chiasa. "He's as tall as a mountain. Try to climb him."

"What are you doing?" Hinami asks.

Higemaru grins at her. Ayato covers his mouth to hide a laugh as Aura enters the building.

"Uncle Aura!" shriek both twins, racing to tackle him. Aura's hair falls back from his face, mouth open in sheer terror.

"Are you trying to get my kids killed?" snarls Urie as he bursts out of the stairwell. Nishiki laughs.

"It's okay," Aura pants, one twin on each shoulder. Despite his words, he looks pained.

"If you think this is bad, you haven't seen anything yet," Nishiki reports, rubbing the back of his neck. "Amon texted me that some of the other kids are taking turns having Hanbee swing them around to make them fly."

"It's true," calls Tooru, appearing beside his husband. "But it looks safe to me." He smiles at Urie and takes his hand.

"Irimi said she'd watch the kids today," Urie says. "Hey, Chiasa, Isamu, let Aura breathe." He winces. "While the rest of us talk."

They climb down, and Aura lets out his breath.

"Did  _you_  get a phone call at dawn?" Ayato asks Nishiki. Mie and Ryouko scamper ahead.

"Yep. Kimi was not thrilled."

Hinami sighs.

"Don't go," Akito pleads as they drop the kids off at a large room on the second floor, where Irimi has toys and games spread out. Yuki and Seidou chase each other around, arms windmilling. Rose sits in a corner, coloring a page, but jumps up when she sees Chiasa. Nashiro and Masanori, another pair of best friends, are already tearing the limbs off one of the dolls, because Masanori is the kind of adorable hellion who's going to give Ui and Hairu heart attacks by the time they're forty. Hirako calls Masanori  _karma_. Nozomi and Joji try to read together, although soon enough Hinami suspects Nozomi will give up and make up a story to go along with the pictures in the book.

"We'll be right back," Ayato assures Akito. "We're just upstairs."

Their son's lip trembles. Hinami's heart breaks. Ayato gulps. "Akito—"

"You can't go!" He throws his arms around Hinami's legs, and Hinami remembers her parents—remembers Ayato's—

"They'll be back," Ryouko assures him, wrapping her arms around her brother. "Come on, Akito. Bing and Tsukuru are playing with trucks, you can—" She tugs him towards Shuu and Karren's younger son, and Hsiao, Saiko, and Shirazu's daughter Bing, whom Saiko and Hsiao had after Shirazu donated sperm to Saiko. Bing wears her hair in Saiko's signature pigtails. Joji's younger sister, Ruri, drifts off to sleep, and Nozomi's younger brother Shiono—who looks scarily like Eto—peers out the window, his friend Hiroto, Juuzou and Hanbee's adopted human son, next to him.

"No!" screams Akito.

"I've got him," Irimi assures, swooping in to take Akito from Ryouko. "Don't worry, Ayato, Hinami."

"Is he okay?" asks Hiroto, jumping away from the window, brow creased in concern.

"Of course," Irimi says, but Hiroto worries his lip.

 _I hate leaving him_. Hinami swallows the lump in her throat as she heads out of the room, pulling Ayato after her. Her son screams and she can only cast a reassuring look behind her.

"He always settles down after a few minutes," Ayato mumbles, even as he looks as if he's struggling not to rush back in there.

Hinami nods.

"Welcome, Hinami, Ayato!" cheers Tsukiyama as they enter the conference room. Juuzou sits on the edge of the table, swinging his legs and eating a donut that Amon looks at with envy.

"Happy to have your kids on break?" teases Nakarai.

" _I'm_  happy to be on break," Touka retorts as she sits back on the windowsill. She's got one year left of university.

"Bing still has two more years left before she starts school," Saiko says.

"I don't know how I'll stand it when she goes," Hsiao laments.

"I'll show up and threaten everyone," Shirazu vows. He co-parents Bing.

"Attention," Amon says formally, getting to his feet. Akira raises her eyebrows and gives Hinami a wave. "So as you've all heard—"

"Which of us volunteers to go talk to that nutjob?" asks Nishiki, leaning back in his chair.

"Last time I saw him, he shot Kurona's kagune," Takizawa Seidou growls, cracking his knuckles. Kurona presses her lips together, seated on Seidou's lap.

"See, that's the thing," Yomo says. "It won't be a one-time thing."

"Excuse me?" demands Ayato.

"Knowing Furuta," says Juuzou, twisting strands of his hair around his fingers. "He's going to try to drag this out and get what he can from each of us."

"Yeah, we're all familiar with his manipulation," Ui says, arm tightening around Hairu.

Hinami swallows. She'll never forget Furuta grabbing Mie that day. Nishiki's face is already purple.

"I don't think any of us should spend too much time with him," Amon concludes. "We interview him two at a time, and we switch it up. No couples together, either; he'll use that to his advantage."

"His prison's a half a day north of here," points out Shirazu.

"Not anymore," Yomo says. Uta's eyebrows arch at his boyfriend's statement.

"We sent Arima and Eto to get him," says Juuzou. "He'll be imprisoned in a specially constructed cell inside what looks like an ordinary house a few minutes from here. And he'll be guarded by Eto and Arima, Naki and Miza, or Hirako and 0 Squad the entire time."

Eto beams as if this is a golden opportunity for her. Arima scowls.

"What if he doesn't even know anything?" demands Kurona. "He wanted us to take down V, remember?"

"I'd say there's little or no chance of that," Kaneki says quietly. "He knows something, even if he hated them."

"Having him nearer to us isn't exactly reassuring," Karren says, her chest heaving. She exchanges a look with Chie.

"I am using my skills to make sure we keep a very close eye on him," Chie says. "They told me yesterday. Sorry, Shuu, Karren. But with this—and with guards inside and outside the house in addition to Arima and Eto—he's not going to be able to escape that room. Not even through the air vent; it's too small for anyone besides a tiny child."

"And what's our strategy for questioning him?' Ayato asks.

Hinami crosses her arms, a chill rippling through her. Despite Chie's assurances and her complete confidence in everyone making the decisions, this is Furuta they're dealing with.

And he is never predictable.

* * *

"Looks like we're on for interrogating the bastard tomorrow," Takeomi says, smiling at Touka as everyone disperses. "Yoriko asked for you to call, by the way. Fuyumi won't sleep on her own and we're both exhausted because she kicks when she crawls into bed with us." Fuyumi is their three-year-old daughter.

"Sounds good," Touka agrees. "Or, you know. Tolerable. Kurona will cover me at :re during that time." She hopes that she can keep herself from ripping Furuta's head off. Although she does, ironically, have him to thank for Yuki's existence.

 _And he knows that_. Touka grits her teeth. Furuta won't hesitate to use that if he can. Kaneki chats with Yomo and Uta, his brow creased. Over the past year, Uta's started to take more of a role at Goat, although his primary business is still working on his art.

"Um, other parents!" bellows Shirazu. "A little help?"

Touka whirls around. Shirazu thrusts his finger at Ui and Hairu. "Your son persuaded a few of them to climb on the roof!"

"What?" Hairu yelps. Ui groans.

"Fuyumi got hurt," Shirazu adds, and Takeomi's jaw drops in horror. "Not badly."

Irimi rushes into the office area, holding a sobbing Fuyumi. The child, who had Yoriko's light hair and her father's face, reaches for her daddy. Irimi's wrapped a bloody cloth around her leg.

"I'm sorry!" wails Yuki, sobbing. "It was an accident."

"Yuki!" Touka and Kaneki both shout, running past Irimi to their son, who bawls, his shoulders shaking. Kaneki presses their son against his chest.

"What happened?" Touka asks, gulping.

"I took them outside to play," Irimi says. "In the yard—Masanori decided to have a climbing contest when I went to push Tsukuru on the swings, and Fuyumi started to fall, so Yuki used his kagune to break her fall, but he also cut her."

Touka feels cold. This is exactly what everyone worries about with ghouls attending school with other children—accidents.

_But Ryouko and Mie never needed to use their kagunes last year, and Seidou doesn't have one.  
_

"It's okay," says Takeomi, crouching down to be at eye-level with Yuki. Kaneki turns his son's face to look at Takeomi. "You kept her from falling. It's okay."

"Masanori, what were you thinking?" Hairu demands, pulling her son into the vacated conference room. Ui follows. Masanori's lip trembles. Mischievous as he is, Masanori's a good kid at heart.

"Mama." Yuki holds out his arms, and Kaneki shifts away so Touka can embrace her son. He smells like the soap Touka uses to bathe him at night since he was a baby. Her heart aches.  _Why are you growing up?_

"The wannabe clown's here," Juuzou announces as he saunters past. "Yomo and I are off to interview him."

"The clown?" asks Yuki, prying his head off Touka's shoulder. His tears vanish. "What clown?"

 _Oh dammit_. Nishiki snorts, and Touka scowls at him. Yuki has a long-running love of clowns, and Touka can't figure out why.

"Not a nice clown, Yuki," Kaneki tries to explain.

"But all clowns are funny," protests their son, cheeks flushed.

Uta ducks behind Yomo, covering his mouth. His shoulders shake with laughter until Mutsuki levels his gaze at Uta. Uta quiets.

"Sorry, buddy," says Hide, grinning at Yuki. "This clown isn't like the circus clowns we went to see last month."

 _Oh right. I forgot about that._  Touka sighs. Kaneki glowers at Hide.

"I don't care. I want to see the clown," Yuki insists. Ayato looks as if he's about to faint. He clutches the desk behind him. Akira's jaw hangs open.

"No," says Touka. "But in a few weeks, I'm sure Uncle Hide won't mind taking you to see the circus clowns again, okay?"

Yuki's eyes light up. He clutches Touka's arm. "Will you come with us? You and Daddy?" He flashes his biggest, silliest smile at Kaneki.

"Um—" Kaneki gulps. "Sure."

"Of course," Touka says weakly. _Goddammit._

Seidou cackles now. Kurona kicks him. He doesn't stop.

"I could do your makeup like a clown," Uta offers. "Yuki."

 _I can't decide if you're trying to be helpful or a troll_. Touka narrows her eyes.

"Yeah!" exclaims Yuki, bouncing up and down. Touka pulls away, dragging her hand through her hair.

"Mine too!" shrieks Seidou—Amon and Akira's Seidou. "And Isamu's!"

"I'm out," moans Urie. He buries his face in Tooru's shoulder. Sunlight glows outside.

"My mom says clowns are stupid," says Nozomi, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"I think they look scary," declares Hiroto, holding his arms up for Juuzou to lift him up. Juuzou obliges, and Hiroto rests his head on Juuzou's shoulder.

Kaneki cringes. "Well, it'll keep the kids occupied while we work. And keep them from climbing the roof."

"I can handle it," Irimi assures them. "Koma, you're helping me corral them though."

Of course, later in the afternoon, after Touka's returned to :re, Kaneki sends a video from work of the kids, all with clown paint on their faces—except for Rose and Chiasa, to what Touka surmises must be Urie's intense relief—rushing around the office pretending to scare their parents. And Hairu, because she's the best at screaming and pretending to faint.  _She's definitely got some bruises,_  Touka thinks, noting a worried Ui hovering in the corner of the video. Even Nozomi gets in on the fun, which Eto will not be pleased about. Hiroto apparently got over his fear of clowns, because Juuzou and Hanbee are laughing hysterically at his makeup and he's grinning.

 _Are they going to get any work done there this summer?_  texts Yoriko.

Touka rolls her eyes, Kurona working on baking some treats for the café. The smell is still hideous to Touka; she doesn't know how Kurona can stand it.  _They better._  This is not the time when they can be slacking off.

When the holidays end, Yuki's going off to school. Touka's already told him story after story about how much she loved school. But she remembers kids being cruel too, and everyone will know Yuki's Kaneki's son.

" _I can't protect him," Kaneki lamented just last night._

And Touka knows how he feels now. She doesn't know how to teach Yuki to defend himself without resorting to the violence and denial she used as her sword and shield.

A sense of unease settles over Touka as she texts Yoriko to set up a time to call. The clown makeup is cute and funny, not scary.

But the clowns  _were_  scary. And V was even more terrifying.  _What exactly does Furuta know? And what will he put us through before he tells us?_

 _We've worked so hard to build this world_.

 _I'm not letting anyone tear it down._  Touka clenches her fist.

The worst part is, knowing Furuta, if he manages to use this to tear it down, it'll be because he'll play them all, ignite just the right fires, hurt them where it matters most.

Of course, last time he tried to do that, he failed. He gave Touka one of the best gifts of her life. She smiles as she looks at the background on her phone—a shot of Yuki giggling in Kaneki's lap.

_You'll fail again, clown. If anyone's getting played this time, it's you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Kimi makes some scientific progress and Uta is surprisingly good at placating hyperactive children.


	26. Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Yomo, Yomo, is it true you got a cat?"

Yomo spins around to see Mie and Ryouko peering up at him, eyes wide. " _Uta_  got a cat," he corrects.

"But you're married," says Ryouko, her brow furrowing. "So you got one."

"Well—"  _We live together._  Yomo doesn't bother to correct her. "Yes, we have a cat."

"Can you bring it here?" requests Mie, tugging at one of her pigtails. Her glasses slip down her nose. "Shiro's going to bring her dog, and Hirako said he'd bring his too."

"Goat's turning into a petting zoo," Shirazu confirms as he walks by. He high-fives Ryouko and Mie. Bing rushes out of the daycare room with her arms raised, and Shirazu scoops her up.

"Can we play that animal game tonight?" asks Bing, peering into her dad's eyes. "The video one Mommy got me?"

"'Course we can," Shirazu declares.

"I don't know if the cat would take well to the dogs," Yomo says. He was stunned when he opened the door to his apartment to find Uta petting a small black kitten.  _"Where did that come from?"_

" _I found it on the street," Uta returned._ And that was that. The cat's been living with them ever since.

"My mom won't let us get a pet," laments Mie, her lip trembling.

"Neither will mine, not until Akito's older," Ryouko says. She clasps her hands, eyes widening. " _Please_ , Uncle Yomo?"

"Oh man," says Shirazu, shaking his head. "Hope you're made of tougher stuff than I am, Yomo." He ducks down the hallway, still carrying his daughter.

"We could do a field trip tomorrow," Yomo suggests. He really doesn't think it's a good idea to bring the cat here. He can already imagine Seidou and Kurona's dog chasing the cat outside into the street, and then it'd probably starve or get hit by a car, and Yomo doesn't want that on his conscience. "To our place."

Each of Goat's staff is taking shifts watching the kids for half a day. In addition to their shifts interrogating Furuta. Who apparently laughed all through his interrogation yesterday, when he wasn't taunting Juuzou about fancying himself Shinohara. Juuzou left the place shaken, and Hanbee took him and Hiroto for ice cream to cheer him up. Shinohara had to go himself and comfort Juuzou, too.

"Yes!" cheers Ryouko, grabbing Mie's hand and jumping up and down. "Ooh, look, Mie!" She crouches down and picks up a giant spider, letting it walk on her hands.

Mie screams. Yomo cringes.

"What the—Ryouko!" Ayato appears, stopping in his tracks. The coffee in his cup sloshes over onto his hands. He curses.

"You said a bad word," Mie informs him, blinking up at him. Yomo snorts.

"It's so cool," Ryouko breathes, watching the spider creep around her palm.

"It is not cool," Ayato says. "And sorry, Mie. But clearly you take after your Aunt Touka, Ryouko. She loved bugs. But I hate them. Now put the spider down."

"So you can kill it?" Ryouko glares at her dad.

Ayato refuses to budge. "Exactly."

"I can take it outside," Ryouko protests. "Poor little thing probably got lost."

Mie shakes her head, backing away.

"I'll take Ryouko outside," Yomo allows. Although he would feel a lot better if it were off Ryouko's palm and if they squished the thing.

"Thanks." His nephew shudders.

 _You're just like Hikari,_  Yomo thinks as he leads Ryouko down the stairwell and out into the parking lot. She sets the spider down on the sidewalk and flashes Yomo a grin.  _Ayato and Hinami are definitely in for it when you become a teenager._  But he loves his great-niece. Hikari and Arata would be so proud.

He catches sight of Arima entering the building. Arima waves, and Yomo sighs. He can't see Arima's face without remembering that he's the one who killed her. But Nozomi and Shiono are also Yoshimura Kuzen's grandchildren, and when Nozomi smiles, he sees Kuzen in her.

"Anything?" Uta asks when Yomo returns home that evening. He crouches down on the hardwood floor, feeding the cat.

"Nothing. Touka was furious when she got back; apparently Furuta said something to her that Takeomi won't repeat." Yomo grits his teeth. He hates that he can't protect his niece from any more of that monster's barbs. "Hey, what are you feeding it?"

"What do you think? It's meat." The cat mews.

"Can you not turn our cat into a ghoul?"

"Don't worry about it." Uta keeps feeding the cat scraps of human flesh.

Yomo rolls his eyes as he heaves himself down onto the threadbare couch. They only have a few lights in their home, and the walls are decorated in paintings and masks. "Any suggestions?"

Uta raises his eyebrows. "For what?"

"For how to get any information out of Furuta. He's dropped enough hints that we know he knows something, but he won't specify what. He's not even making any demands."

Uta groans and leans back on his hands. "That's all, kitty." The cat meows in protest, rubbing up against Uta's arm. Uta scratches its head. "And he's doing that because he doesn't care about what happens. He's not trying to protect anyone. He's enjoying watching everyone freak out and knowing he could stop it but won't."

 _Shit_. "So you think he won't talk?"

"Not unless he gets something out of it, and there's nothing he can really be given that would matter to him." Uta examines one of the tattoos on his arms. "Kaneki knows this, too."

"What would matter to him?" Yomo demands.

"He's lonely," states Uta. "That's why Kaneki told Juuzou to get him out of the prison and keep him nearby. It's really your only shot. But I don't know that it will work."

"He's only got himself to blame for that loneliness," Yomo points out.

Uta shrugs. "I think he's always been lonely, even before he started all his shenanigans."

"Are we talking about Furuta or you now?"

Uta narrows his eyes and pries himself up from the floor.

 _I love you, you know,_  Yomo thinks as his heart thumps. He remembers the moment he found out exactly how involved Uta was with the clowns, what he'd orchestrated—when Urie and Kaneki railed about the tricks he'd played on Juuzou and Mutsuki—and the searing, scraping, gnawing agony of realizing the person he thought was his friend kept this side of him cloaked in shadows.

_But it was never what you wanted._

They fought, and Uta lost—purposefully, because he didn't want to live, and Yomo knew then that he couldn't deal the final blow. He wanted to help him instead.

"Nah," Uta says finally, picking up the cat. "I think my loneliness was more about perception. Furuta's really been alone. He was never even really a part of the clowns—he was really just entertainment the whole time." His voice drops. "You were always there."

 _Not to the best of my ability._  Yomo cringes. He closes his eyes and yelps as he feels claws sinking into his leg.

"Oops; dropped the cat," says Uta, standing over him with a smirk.

The animal purrs, rubbing against Yomo's midsection. He snorts. Uta drops down next to him. "If you think of anything else—"

"If I remember anything, I won't hesitate to tell you, but unfortunately Furuta is your best bet," Uta informs him. "I'm tired of secrets. They're not that fun after all." He closes his eyes and drops his head onto Yomo's chest. "And I wasn't trying to disturb everyone yesterday by doing the kids' makeup. Maybe a little, but it's necessary. Eventually the kids are going to find out exactly how they came to exist. Their parents can't avoid the idea of Furuta forever."

"True." Yomo worries his lip. They've been trying to give the kids age-appropriate information about what their parents have done, but especially now that the older ones will all be at school together, there's always the risk that they'll find out too soon. "Of course, it took me forever to tell Touka and Ayato I was their uncle, so."

"Mm." Uta doesn't move.

"Ryouko reminded me of Hikari today," Yomo confesses. "And that makes being around Arima—difficult."

"You're his boss, technically."

"Exactly." Yomo scowls. He remembers Kuzen scraping him off the ground, and he sees Nozomi's huge smile. Time to change the subject. "I said I'd take them on a field trip here to meet the cat," he adds. "Ryouko and Mie were begging."

Uta lifts his head, eyes lighting up as much as they can with their sclera tattoos. "That would be fun." Uta's better and less awkward with the kids than he is. And they love him.

"I can also get clay for them, if they'd like to sculpt at some point," Uta muses. "The older ones anyways."

Yomo nods and leans over, pushing Uta back against the couch. Uta pulls him closer and Yomo kisses him, lips and tongue sinking down _. You're feeling lonely right now, aren't you?_

_Because you're focusing on all the things you've done._

Yomo grips Uta's shoulders, digging his fingers in. Their teeth clack against each other's. Uta snorts. Yomo's arms encircle him.  _I'm here._

* * *

Nishiki's in hell.

His daughter, Ryouko, Seidou, Yuki, and Isamu all sing—really,  _chant_ —the same song over and over again at the top of their lungs. Nishiki can feel his brain bleeding out his ears.

 _It's for a good cause._ Usually the kids are quiet when they're brought to work, but now that Mie, Ryouko, and Seidou are back and all hell's breaking loose with Furuta and V trying to reanimate itself from the dead, their presence is more of a hassle than a comfort. Nishiki doesn't want Mie overhearing anything about V or Furuta.

 _I almost lost her to him_. He gulps, squeezing the steering wheel. Suddenly the screeching singing seems like euphony.

" _How's your daughter doing?" Furuta taunted earlier. "I give and take away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."_

 _You're not giving or taking anything sitting behind bars_. Even if he's not actually behind bars right now.

Nishiki pulls into the parking lot of Yomo and Uta's apartment.

"Yay!" cheers Ryouko. "We're here!"

"I want to see the cat!" Isamu springs out of the car.

"Hey, slow down, Urie Isamu!" bellows Nishiki. "Don't run ahead."

He stops, hopping on the sidewalk. Seidou, quiet and smart, sidles up next to his friend. Yuki holds Seidou's hand.

Yomo pulls in next, and Joji, Nozomi, Chiasa, Rose, Nashiro, and Masanori tumble out. The younger kids were not allowed to come today; they'll go tomorrow. Hiroto burst into tears when he found out, and then he and Bing aggressively played a video game together while fixing the adults with pointed glares.

"Dogs are better than cats," states Nashiro.

"Nope!" counters Isamu.

Nashiro rolls her eyes.

"That was the debate on the ride over," Yomo tells Nishiki.

"I had to deal with singing," he says, rubbing his skull.

"You win. Or lose, really." Yomo shakes his head.

Uta welcomes them inside with a smile. Nishiki's not the biggest fan of the Gothic décor, with the tapestries and portraits and all, but his eyes land on an elaborate cat tree Uta's clearly thrown together, complete with a bridge that wraps around all the walls in the living room. Clay, paint, and other materials sit in a corner. "That's corner's off limits," Uta says. "Anywhere else you can go."

"Kitty!" shrieks Isamu, charging at the small black bundle of fur. The cat scrambles behind Uta.

"It's okay," Uta says, crouching down. "She's just scared. You have to approach slowly, Isamu. Hold out your hand. Let her smell you."

"Is she a ghoul cat?"

Yomo coughs as if he's trying not to laugh. Nishiki narrows his eyes. "Just what are you feeding that cat?"

"I'm not the one feeding her," Yomo answers.

A text lights up Nishiki's phone.  _Kaneki_.

_They killed another human and left a message calling for ghouls to unite to get rid of humans._

"Yeah, how're we gonna eat then?" Nishiki mumbles.

Yomo grits his teeth. "This isn't good. The news will be—"

"All over it," Nishiki finishes. "I'm sure Hinami is drafting a statement for the media right now."

"A lot of good it will do." Yomo looks more pessimistic than Nishiki's seen him in years.

"She's so cute!" squeals Isamu, stroking the kitten's head. His sister peers warily at the cat, clutching Rose's arm. "Chiasa, we should ask Mom and Dad for a cat."

"They're a lot of work," objects Chiasa.

"She's mini-Urie," Nishiki mumbles.

Masanori moves in too fast, and the cat scrambles, jumping up onto a table and springing onto the cat tree.  _Damn_. Cats can move just like ghouls. A jar of eyeballs crashes onto the floor, spilling.

"Ew!" shrieks Seidou, covering his own eyes.

"Wow," breathes Masanori. He comes to work each day in clean, ironed clothes, and by the time its afternoon, Nishiki's noticed that his shirts are always rumpled and his jeans stained. His pink hair, chopped in a bowl cut like his father's, sticks out from his head.

"They're looking at me!" cries Joji.

"It's probably an invisible monster," muses Nozomi, tapping her chin. Her eyes gleam. "With a hundred eyes."

 _Eto, Arima, why is your child like this?_  Nishiki wonders yet again as Joji shrieks in horror.

"Eyeballs taste pretty good," announces Rose, playing with her hair. "My dad likes them."

"You are not eating these," Uta says. Rose's face falls.

 _He's surprisingly good with the kids,_  Nishiki has to admit. Even Masanori seems willing to obey him. Nishiki checks his phone again.

 _There's an anti-ghoul protest in the 4_ _th_ _ward_ , reports Juuzou.  _Fuck_.

 _They used that poor person's leg as a paintbrush_ , reports Hide.

 _I just went off on Furuta,_  Amon confesses.

 _What?_  asks Saiko.

_I think I made things a lot worse—I just wanted to get to the bottom of this—those poor people who they're killing—and they're endangering other lives._

_Like your son's. And my daughter's. And mine, and my wife's because of her work. And us._ Nishiki grits his teeth. Things were going so  _well_  the past year—other countries had even discussed adopting Japan's model of working with ghouls, of a shared society. Ghoul rights were even introduced into European law, much to Karren's shock and relief. She cried in front of everyone from Goat that night.

_This could ruin everything._

_Haven't you spent your entire life waiting for the other shoe to fall?_

"Daddy?"

He looks down to see Mie wrapping her arms around his legs. "What is it, Mie?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course," Nishiki assures her, dropping down and squeezing her tiny shoulders. He slips his phone into his pocket; he can read more bad news later. "Daddy's fine. Just has a lot of work to do."  _To keep you safe._

Mie nods, still frowning. Nishiki sighs and heaves her up. She's getting so big. Sooner rather than later he'll throw his back carrying her.

But for now, she leans her head against his shoulder and closes her eyes, and Nishiki feels safe.

When they get home that evening, Kimi's already there. "You heard?"

She nods.

"Heard what?" asks Mie.

"Nothing, Mie," Nishiki says.

"Shouldn't we tell her?" Kimi hisses as Mie prances off.

"Tell her that there's a rise in anti-ghoul movements because ghouls are killing people? She'll be worried. School scared her at the beginning last year; I don't want that to happen again." Although apparently Mie's nightmares were nothing compared to Amon Seidou's.

Kimi sighs. "How was the field trip?"

"Fun," Nishiki answers. He thinks of Uta's tattoo.  _I can neither live with you, nor without you._

But Uta is living with Yomo now, and humans are living with ghouls. Nishiki clenches his jaw.  _I won't let—_

"Can you look at these results with me?" Kimi asks.

"Hm?"

She thrusts a stack of papers into his hands. "This is what my friends and I have been working on. Well, mostly them, though I've been giving suggestions when I'm not seeing patients."

Nishiki frowns and flips through the pages while Kimi makes herself some instant ramen. "Isn't that not particularly healthy?"

"I'm tired." She sits next to him, digging in with her chopsticks.

A chill scampers down Nishiki's spine as he looks over the charts. He rubs his face. "Is this for real?"

"Maybe. We'll have to do trials to test it," Kimi admits.

"Blind trials?"

"Eventually, but I want to start smaller." Kimi swallows.

"Are you asking me to volunteer?"

Kimi kneads her hands. "I'm asking you to consider it. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I realize I'm asking for a major life change and it might actually make you sick and there could be side effects I can't predict, so—"

"Better to try it with me than with Mie," Nishiki says, the salty, rotten smell of Kimi's ramen assaulting his nostrils. "At least for right now."

_This could also—this could solve the problem._

But would all ghouls be willing to take it? Nishiki can already hear people lamenting and whispering about poison.

Nishiki frowns as Kimi finishes her ramen.  _I could eat that. If this works._

_Would I want to?_

_It might smell like something other than decay for me._

Nishiki gulps. His stomach churns. His shoulders throb.

"You don't have to," Kimi tells him. "I love you no matter what."

"I want to," Nishiki bursts out, clenching his fists.  _I do have to. For Mie._  "I'm pretty impressed with your research."

Kimi leans her head on her hand, a smile lolling across her face. "Oh really?"

"Really," Nishiki confirms. "Do I get to brag about you to the rest of Goat?"

"Soon," Kimi confirms. "If we can synthesize enough of it, I want to offer it to them too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Uta gives the children fake tattoos and Urie's children ask him and Tooru The Question.


	27. Oil and Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"How was your day?" Hairu chirps, walking home with Masanori. He holds one of her hands and one of Ui's, and every couple of steps they swing their son up in the air. He cackles with laughter. _I love you so much._

"Fun!" Masanori answers, grinning up at them. "Did you get answers from that bad guy, Daddy?"

Ui's eyes widen. Neither of them discusses their work in front of Masanori, but since he's hanging around Goat, he always picks up on more than they intend. When he goes to school in another few months, they might get a break from him peppering them with questions about things he overheard that he wasn't supposed to.

"Not today," Ui answers. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

"You'll get him. I know it. You always win," declares Masanori, and Ui's face reddens as he and Hairu swing their son again. "Higher!"

"Careful, I don't want to drop you!" Hairu teases.

"You won't; you're part ghoul!"

Ui cringes. Hairu's gaze darts around the street, looking for anyone who overheard. A middle-aged couple draws back.

Hairu flashes them a toothy grin, and then promptly ducks her head.  _Why am I still ashamed?_

Hairu and Ui agreed to tell their son about his quarter-ghoul heritage from the beginning, and Masanori seems almost proud of it. Which isn't that surprising, but Hairu worries.

"I love my part-ghouls," Ui says, voice low and rough.

Hairu lifts her head, meeting his gaze. He gives her a small smile, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"And we love you!" crows Masanori, letting go of Hairu's hand to wrap himself around Ui's leg.

"Masanori, Daddy needs to walk," Hairu points out, extracting their son.

As soon as they arrive home, Masanori takes off. "What's for dinner?"

"Leftovers from last night!" Hairu calls. The sky outside the windows dims, glistening like a periwinkle tapestry interwoven with golden threads and red strings.

Masanori cheers as he slides across the floor. "Do we have melon buns?" Something blue appears under his sleeve.

"Of course. Did you get hurt?" Hairu asks, shutting the fridge. She crouches down and tugs her son's t-shirt sleeve up. "You—" She freezes. "Who drew this?"

"It's not a drawing," Masanori says. "It's a tattoo."

"A fake one," Hairu says, snorting.

"Nope. It's real."

Hairu rolls her eyes. "Masanori, you hate needles."

"Uta makes everything cool."

"Okay." Hairu reaches for plates.

Ui appears in the corner of their little kitchen and stops still. His eyes pop. "What is  _that?"_

"It's a tattoo," Masanori says, flexing his thin bicep. "See? It's a gavel. Like the one on the blanket Suzuya made for me when I was little."

 _You're still little,_  Hairu thinks. "It's fake."

"Nope." Masanori scrambles towards the sink. "I'll show you." He grabs soap.

"There's no need for that—" Ui cuts in, but it's too late. Masanori scrubs his arm with soap and sprays water everywhere. "I'll clean up, Hairu," her husband moans.

"Thanks." She dumps the meat and vegetables into a pot and turns on the stove.

"See?" Masanori taunts. "It isn't coming off. It's  _real_ , I told you so."

 _Huh?_  Hairu whirls around. The food hisses, steam catching her face. She squints.

"Let me see that," Ui says, grabbing the soap bar and scrubbing their son's arm.

Smoke hits Hairu's nostrils.  _Shit!_  She turns back, scraping the pan.

"Hairu, it's not fading," Ui reports, a note of panic in his voice.

"It can't be real," Hairu shoots back. "Who gives a tattoo to a child?"

"Uta did," exclaims Masanori. "With needles. He said the arm doesn't hurt very much."

"He did not," states Ui.

"He did."

Ui clutches his face.

"You can't possibly—" Hairu starts, before someone pounds on their door. "Shit!"

"Mommy!" shrieks Masanori, horrified at her cursing. He claps his hands to his face in a perfect imitation of Ui.

"You don't get to be horrified when you got a tattoo!" Hairu rebukes him as she turns off the stove and hurries towards the door.  _Oh, really, Ui?_  He looks as if he's about to go into another catatonic state, like the time he found out she was pregnant.  _Please don't be Eto and Arima,_  she prays as she peers through the door.  _I can't deal with a repeat of that._

Masanori giggles. "So you admit it's real?"

"Hairu!" shrieks Takizawa, clinging to his hair as he gapes at them. "Did you—did he—"

"Shiro got a tattoo too!" sings Masanori, prancing out. "Hi, Takizawa! Is Shiro here? Is your dog here?"

Takizawa gapes at him. "No soap is getting this thing off!" He wrings his hands. "It can't be real, right? Please tell me—"

"We can't get it off, either," Hairu reports. "I'm sure it'll fade in a few days—"  _You didn't get a real tattoo; he wouldn't have done that!_

_Clown…_

Ui lets out a moan, still huddled on the floor.

"Koori—" Hairu starts.

"I'll kill him," Takizawa vows, clenching his fist. "Kurona's even worried, and—but doesn't Masanori hate needles?"

"Exactly," Hairu says.

"I told you. Uta made it okay," Masanori says.

Hairu grabs her phone. "Have you contacted Uta?"

"No," Takizawa admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "What kind of terrible sh—stuff are you cooking?"

Hairu scowls at him as she pulls out her phone and dials. "Uta?"

"I think this is the first time you've called this number," comes his dry response.

Hairu rolls her eyes and puts it on speakerphone. "Yes, well, Masanori's saying you gave him a tattoo, and that can't be true, right? I mean, you're not that—"

"I did give him a tattoo," confirms Uta. "And Nashiro, and Rose, and Chiasa. They wanted them."

"You didn't consult with us first?" screeches Takizawa. "She's my  _princess_ , and you—"

"Oil doesn't mix well with water, Takizawa," Uta says, sounding bored. A cat meows in the background.

"Who's that?" asks what sounds like Yomo's voice.

"What do you mean?" Hairu demands. "Because if you actually—"

"You didn't warn them, did you?" Yomo groans. "Hairu. Ui. Takizawa. Try using a cream or something with oil to get it off."

"No!" yelps Masanori, clutching his arm. "You can't!"

Ui leaps to his feet and rummages through the cabinets, withdrawing a bottle of olive oil.

"Oh good, Koori, you're alive," teases Hairu. "I  _told_  you so. Bye, Uta. Thanks, Yomo."

Takizawa heaves a sigh of relief. "My God." He types into his phone. "I have to tell Kuro."

"No!" cries Masanori when Ui dabs some oil onto a towel. "Please! I want to keep it—it looks cool—please, Daddy!"

Ui hesitates. Hairu sighs.

Ui gestures for her to decide. Hairu frowns. "You can keep it for a few days, and then it's coming off. And it's not cool to lie to your father and me."

"It was a joke!" protests Masanori.

"You took it pretty far." Hairu flicks his hair.

He throws his arms around her waist, pressing his face into her stomach. "I love you, Mommy."

Hairu closes her eyes. "I love you, too." When she opens them, she finds Takizawa watching the three of them with their dinner warm on the stove and all with their arms around each other with a smile on his face, and with a haunted look in his eyes.

 _You want this too—to be able to cook dinner with Kuro and Shiro,_  Hairu realizes.  _Dinner that isn't human flesh._ Nashiro eats human food, but Kurona and Seidou can't. _  
_

 _But maybe someday, they can_. "Do you want to ask Kuro and Shiro to come over?" Hairu asks, the sky deepening to a rich indigo outside. "I know you can't eat with us, but you can sit with us."

"Yes!" shrieks Masanori, prying himself away from his parents. "I want to see Shiro! And your dog."

Takizawa laughs. "Okay."

* * *

"It can't be real," Urie whispers.

 _If Uta gave my daughter a real tattoo…_ Tooru grits his teeth.

"It is real," Isamu recites, barely looking up from his tenth drawing of a cat. Chiasa pops her bubble gum, examining the flowers climbing her wrist.

Urie turns and storms into their bedroom. Tooru hurries after him.  _It's not real. It can't be._

_It certainly seems real._

Urie paces in front of their bed, interlacing his fingers behind his head.

"Kuki?"

"Tooru?" Urie requests, turning around to face him. His arms fly out to grasp Tooru's shoulders. "You went crazy on Uta once, right?"

"It wasn't exactly Uta—"

"Well, can you do it again?" Urie asks desperately.

" _Kuki!"_  Tooru snaps. "That was a terrible thing I did!"

"The circumstances warrant it."

"Kuki!"

Urie curls his fist. "That mother—"

"Kuki, if you say that word and the kids overhear, I swear I'll—"

"Why?" Urie asks, eyes bulging, lips flapping. "Why? Why would he do this? And we all trusted him—"

Tooru yanks himself away as his phone rings.  _Kaneki_. "Sensei!" he cries out.

"Tooru? Are you okay?" Kaneki sounds surprised.

"Doesn't Yuki have one too?"

"One—what?"

"A tattoo? From Uta?"

" _What?"_  Touka yells in the background. "Are you fucking—"

"Not that I saw," Kaneki reports. "But, um—Touka—"

"I'll check," Tooru hears her say.

Tooru lets out his breath. "Now Urie is crazy and I don't know what to do—he's freaking out more than—"

"Tooru," interrupts another voice.

"Saiko?"

"Yeah, Hsiao, Bing, Shirazu, and I are visiting the Kanekis. Tooru, listen to me. You have to know what always works to calm Urie down when he's freaked out."

"Saiko—"

"Boobs," Saiko proclaims, voice solemn.

" _Saiko!"_

"Oh God, I can imagine what your face looks like, and it's still nothing compared to what Kaneki looks like now. He prefers to remember his Quinx children in a more innocent state," Saiko teases.

"Yuki did not get a tattoo and he says oil can take it off!" hollers Touka.

 _Oil_. Tooru blows out his breath. "Okay. Thanks."

"Just remember," Saiko sings. "They always—"

Tooru hangs up. Urie doubles over, clutching his knees. "Oil removes it," Tooru reports.

"Really?" Urie peers up, purple strands of hair falling over his forehead, his cheek. Tooru brushes it back so he can see the moles under his eyes.

Tooru nods, pushing Urie back onto the bed and leaning against his husband. "Saiko said I should give you boobs to make you feel better."

"I wouldn't protest," Urie murmurs.

Tooru snorts, leaning down and closing his lips over Urie's. His husband pulls him closer, hands digging through Tooru's hair, pressing his scalp. Tooru's lips trail down Urie's chin, to his neck and chest.

"We've got kids in the next room," Urie croaks. "Who are hungry."

"Oh yeah." Tooru rests his chin on Urie's. "We should feed them."

"And get that awful tattoo off Chiasa's arm," Urie mumbles. Tooru can feel Urie's arousal. He should get off Urie before neither of them can control themselves anymore. But he doesn't want to move.

"Isn't this how we made them?" Urie rasps, a laugh in his throat. "With some of Furuta's machinations."

Tooru wrinkles his nose.

"Furuta didn't hesitate to remind me today that he's the reason everyone in Goat has kids," Urie grumbles.

"Daddy?" calls Isamu.

 _Yikes._  Tooru yanks himself off Urie, who sits up quickly. Both of their hairs are mussed.

Isamu frowns at them, tugging at his own green strands. "Why were you on top of him?"

"Because we love each other and he was teasing me," Urie responds. His cheeks flush, and his chest rises as he inhales, trying to force his breath back to normal. Tooru swallows.  _Later._

"How?" asks Isamu, cocking his head.

"Conversation for another day," Urie interjects. He grits his teeth.

 _This is worse than tattoos._  Tooru hurries out of the room. "I'll make you dinner, okay, Isamu?"

"Am I in big trouble?" whispers Chiasa.

"You shouldn't have lied," Urie responds as he comes out, rolling up his sleeves. "And I don't like it. But you can keep it for a few days."

Chiasa giggles and holds up a marker. "I can give you a matching one."

"Oh no." Urie holds his hands up and backs away.

"Go for it, Chiasa," Tooru encourages as he opens the fridge.

"Really?" Chiasa's eyes light up as she unscrews the cap on her purple marker. "It matches our hair, Daddy!"

Urie sucks in his mouth so that it looks like he's mouthless. He lowers himself to the floor in defeat so Chiasa can color on his arm.

"I'll kiss it," Tooru calls. Urie narrows his eyes.

"Ew!" proclaims Chiasa. Isamu draws another cat.

"Is Furuta that evil clown guy?" asks Isamu, dropping his crayon.

"Why?" asks Urie. Tooru freezes, a bag of chicken in his hand.

Isamu picks up the crayon and taps it against the table. The sound ricochets off Tooru's spine, making him remember another time, another place, another face.

"Because you said in your room that he helped make us, but you always said  _before_  that you made kids because you loved each other so much."

 _Oh shit. How long were you eavesdropping?_ Tooru gulps. He sincerely hopes the next question out of Isamu's mouth does not contain the mention of boobs.

"But if we were all made by an evil clown—" Isamu's lip trembles.

"Evil?" Chiasa echoes, the marker hovering over Urie's wrist, flower unfinished. Her eyes widen and Tooru sees again the same moles under her eyes that Urie has.

"You weren't made by an evil clown," Tooru assures them, dropping the chicken on the counter. "You were made because we love each other."

"How?" asks Isamu.

_God no._

Urie coughs. "That's a story for when you're older."

"But you said Furuta helped make everyone. So all of us kids. Joji, Rose, Yuki, Seidou, Nashiro, Masanori, Ryouko, Mie, Nozomi—" Isamu wrings his hands, looking up at Tooru with his brow creased. "Were we made in a lab?"

Urie pales. "No."

 _But Kuki and I were, more or less._ Tooru kneels down and wraps his son in his arms. "No. You weren't."  _No one's ever going to hurt you. No one's ever going to mutilate your bodies or turn you into a weapon_.

 _You're not evil. You were made because we love each other_.  _You're beautiful, and smart, and kind, and we love you._

"We should probably warn the other parents about this," Urie mumbles later, after they put Chiasa and Isamu to bed. "Even if they promised not to say anything. The fact that we made them promise means that they're probably suspicious."

 _And maybe still wondering_. Tooru gulps. "I know." He wants to scrub that fear from his children's brains. He can't bear the thought that they might feel, even in the slightest, unloved. He doesn't want them to experience that loneliness.

"I'll text everyone," Urie says, pulling out his phone. Tooru checks his phone and sees it overflowing with texts that are mostly Takizawa and Ui railing at Uta and Akira teasing Takizawa that her kid turned one down.

 _Sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal,_  Nishiki adds.  _Kimi & I have something to talk to you all about tomorrow._

 _Is Mie getting a little sibling_? asks Naki.

_No!_

_:(_  responds Naki.

"Why's he got to be like that?" moans Urie.

Tooru shrugs.

Urie sends the message with their news. "It won't be a big problem," he says, switching the phone off. "Every kid was made because their parents loved each other. Furuta just—helped the process a little."

Tooru nods, resting his chin on his fists. His shoulders hunch. "I know."

"It's okay," Urie says, hand clasping Tooru's shoulder. "They know they're loved and wanted. They have no reason to worry."

Torru turns to him, resting his head on Urie's shoulder. "I hope not." His voice breaks. "I hope they know that."  _I hope they aren't wondering._

Urie's lips press against Tooru's head. "You're loved and wanted too."

Tooru tightens his grip around Urie. "Can we finish what we started earlier?"

Urie lifts Tooru's face with one hand while the other fumbles for Tooru's shirt. He says nothing, but he falls back, holding Tooru securely on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so seeds of curiosity are planted re: Furuta...
> 
> Up next: Karren and Tsukiyama make a decision and Ui and Hairu experience their child's first crush: on Tsukiyama Rose.


	28. A Lot to Ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"We could always just ask," suggests Masanori.

"That's dumb," scoffs Chiasa.

"No, it isn't, Chiasa, Rose can—"

"Rose can what?" asks Karren, leaning into the day care room. Shiono, Hiroto, Akito, Tsukuru, and baby Emma are lying down for naps, Bing, Ruri, and Fuyumi paint at a table together, and the older kids are clustered in a corner. Rose sits between Chiasa, her best friend, and Masanori. Nashiro's arm is linked with Masanori's. Seidou stands above them, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Yuki leans forward on his knees, eyes wide, and Isamu sucks his thumb. Ryouko and Mie whisper to each other.

"Nothing, Mommy!" Rose calls, springing to her feet. Her elaborately styled hair flies out, whacking Masanori in the face. "Sorry!"

"No problem," Masanori says, beaming up at Rose. Chiasa scowls.

"Rose, it's time to go," Karren says. "Dad and I are leaving early today so you can see your grandfather." She crouches down, waking Tsukuru up. He whimpers in protest. "You can sleep in the car," she whispers. Their youngest daughter, Emma, blinks sleepily when Karren picks her up, and then presses her head against Karren's chest and falls back asleep. "Rose, help me with your brother."

Rose scrambles over. "C'mon, Tsukuru."

"I don't want to," he mumbles.

"You can sleep in the car," Rose repeats, her voice bossy. Karren smiles. Rose continually insists that she wants to be just like Karren, "but with long hair." She doesn't understand why her daughter would want to be like her, and Shuu looked appalled when Karren told him that. " _Because you're amazing, liebling!"_

Bouquets of roses started arriving daily, and gold and diamonds, until Karren had to tell him to stop, that all she ever wanted was him, and he was here. He wears the ring she slipped on his finger that day in a church, and she wears the rings he gave her.  _"You're all I've ever wanted."_

"Rose!" calls Masanori, getting to his feet and scrambling to yank a piece of paper off a circular table. "I made this for you!" He thrusts a watercolor with a lot of swirled reds, pinks, and yellows towards her. "For you," he repeats, face as pink as his hair.

Karren raises her eyebrows.

"Thanks," Rose says, her face red too. She takes the picture as Chiasa shakes her head in the background and Nashiro giggles.

As they leave the room, Rose looks back over her shoulder.

 _Oh God_. Karren steals a glance at her daughter.

"There you are!" booms Shuu as he appears in the stairwell. He scoops Rose and Tsukuru up, and Tsukuru's sniffles die away as he twirls them around. "Ready to see Grandfather?"

"Yep," Rose says, skipping when he puts her down. She glances at the drawing again.

"Rose," Karren says. "Why don't you tell Daddy who gave you that painting?"

Rose scowls. Karren narrows her eyes.  _Why is this upsetting you?_

_She already wants to hide things from me…_

_Maybe she doesn't admire me anymore_.

"Masanori gave it to me," Rose says.

"Eh?" A smirk spreads over Shuu's face. "Indeed. I see." He tosses a look back at Karren, moving his lips as he asks  _what the hell?_  Tsukuru presses his head down on Shuu's shoulder.

"Be cool, Shuu."

He winks.

The limo picks them up. Rose hums to herself, peering out the window. Shuu leans over to whisper in Karren's ear. "It's cute."

Karren makes a face.

"Imagine if they get married," Shuu adds. "Ui's family will shit themselves."

"Shuu, they're six years old."

"Hairu would be a really fun mother-in-law though," he muses. His jaw drops in horror. "But we'd be stuck with Sir Stick-in-the-Mud forever."

"Doesn't Saiko call him  _Special Class Bowl Cut?"_

"Rose is never getting a bowl cut."

"Why would I get a bowl cut, Daddy?" asks Rose, frowning.

"You never would," Shuu assures her. "They're the stuff of nightmares."

"Masanori and Ui aren't from nightmares," Rose counters. Shuu's jaw goes slack.

They arrive at Tsukiyama Mirumo's, and Rose runs into her grandfather's arms. Even Tsukuru finally snaps out of his bad mood as Shuu's father chases them around the garden, pretending to be a bear.

"How is the interrogation going?" asks Mirumo when he's finally exhausted. Rose and Tsukuru continue to chase each other. Emma rests on Shuu's lap. Mirumo reaches for her, and the baby gurgles.

"It's going," Shuu replies. "Actually, he had the day off today. And Juuzou's thinking of giving him a few more days off, randomly, because it'll make us harder to predict for him and that will frustrate him."

Karren wonders if that's the best strategy. She swallows.

"Actually, we got different news today," Shuu says. "Nishio Kimi's come up with a medication she thinks will enable ghouls to eat human food."

Mirumo's eyes widen. "She has?"

Karren nods.

"Are you going to try it?" he asks, accepting a cup of coffee from a servant. Karren takes a cup too, and thanks the girl.

"I don't know," Shuu says. "There's a lot to consider."

Karren rubs her forehead. They've only been able to eat human flesh their entire lives. They've never had a choice.

And now they might, and it's scarier than it should be. Based on Goat's beliefs, there should be no dithering, no questioning.

_But it's not as if we're hurting people anymore. We eat the dead and unclaimed._

What if it doesn't work? And then the hope goes away? What if it does, and living with human food is a disappointment?

Touka seemed thrilled at the prospect, as did Amon and Hinami. Ayato agreed to try it too, although he looked as perturbed as Karren and Shuu. Takizawa and Kurona also said they'd think about it, but Takizawa looked as if he was ready to take it right then and there.

 _Will this affect our kagunes? What if it makes us sick?_ Kimi can't guarantee anything for them.

"If we try it and it works," Karren says slowly. "We'll have to decide whether or not to give it to Rose, Tsukuru, and Emma."

Shuu's phone buzzes. He lets out a laugh.

"What?" Karren questions.

He shows her. Chie's sent a photo of a cheesecake.  _You could be eating this someday soon._

"What's that?" pants Rose as she runs over to them, peering at the image.

"A cheesecake," Shuu says longingly. "Imagine the gourmet options, Karren."

"We could actually use our spice rack," Karren muses.

"Is that from Chie?" asks Rose.

"Indeed it is," Shuu confirms. "It could taste holy, Karren. I haven't had an exciting meal in—so many flavors undiscovered—" He's practically salivating.

"Can I help Chie with computer stuff again?" Rose asks. "Ryouko and Mie said I'll have to learn computers in school."

"Sure," Shuu answers. He winks at his father. "She's got your brain."

"I want to draw a picture for Masanori," Rose announces, sliding away from her father. "Since he painted me one. I'll draw him the flowers here."

Mirumo raises his eyebrows. As Rose skips off with the servant to find crayons as Tsukuru wriggles onto Karren's lap, he mumbles: "Do I need to kill this kid?"

"He's a human," Shuu reports. "Well, three-quarters human. It'd be too easy. Besides, Masanori reminds me of me when I was growing up."

"That's why I'm worried," Mirumo states, and Karren snorts.

"Hey!"

"It's cute," Karren cuts in. She wonders if her parents would have seen her crush on Shuu as cute. She knows they'd be happy with her now, because Mirumo tells her so.

She hopes, anyways.

"A Tsukiyama and a human?" Mirumo says, shaking his head.

"Whatever she wants to do," Karren says, meeting Shuu's gaze.

He nods, reaching out to clasp Karren's hand. "We'd support her."

_You'll always be Tsukiyama Rose, our daughter. We just want you to be yourself, live your life following your own heart. That's all we want for Tsukuru, for Emma._

She and Shuu are proud of them just for being who they are, and nothing less. She never wants Rose to have to hide her name, her identity, her ghoulhood even.

_Is this hiding it or just offering a different path?_

She remembers all the lives she took, trying to help Shuu, trying to quiet the demon in her stomach. She remembers the medications Tooru takes daily, to keep his brain well.

"I'll tell Kimi, Shuu," she says. "We'll both do it."

* * *

"I have bad news," announces Takeomi as he enters Goat in the afternoon. The sun shines brilliantly, but outside, Ui spots dark clouds blustering in, ready to shred the blue sky and claw the sunlight away.

"Another incident," guesses Hide, putting his lunch away.

Takeomi nods just as Amon bursts out of his office. "Yomo, Juuzou—the prime minister's on the phone."

"This can't be good," Akira remarks as the three of them disappear into the office, door shutting with a soft click.

Ui rests his head in his hands.

"What happened?" Hairu wants to know.

"They killed two schoolchildren," reports Takeomi. His face is gray, no doubt thinking of Fuyumi. "A seven-year-old boy, and his nine-year-old sister."

"Shit!" Karren curses. Takizawa balls up his fists.

"The family thinks Goat doesn't want to respond—they're on the news saying maybe Goat wants ghouls to rise up and destroy humans, and maybe that's been their mission all along—"

"Bullshit," says Ui. "Take, Takeomi—we can go on the news. We're human. Completely."

"You married a half-human and have a child," says Higemaru with a shrug. "Sorry, but they'll use that to discredit you. And Hirako raised Yusa, Rikai, and Shio."

"Sorry we forge connections with ghouls," Hirako says sarcastically. "How awful of us, right? God forbid we see each other as more than monsters. God forbid we have any empathy."

 _Why can't people in this stupid world get it?_  Ui claps his hand to his forehead. Hairu raises her eyebrows.

 _Then again, it took me a long time to get it too_.

_There is no justice without mercy._

"There are times when I almost wish we could torture Furuta," Kaneki admits, voice cracking. "He still won't say anything, and he could end this, and it's putting Yuki's life—all our kids' lives—"

"We can't," interrupts Tooru, face green. Urie clasps his shoulder. "We can't be like—"

"I know." Kaneki covers his eyes with his fists. "I'm sorry."

"He's bored. He wants entertainment, and this is probably a game to him," Arima observes, resting his chin on his hand as he looks over the back of his chair.

"He's the only lead we have," says Saiko.

"Unless we hit the streets," says Hsiao. But no one's eager to volunteer.

_We all have kids we don't want orphaned._

"I'll do it," volunteers Aura. "I don't have anyone depending on me. Higemaru and I can go undercover."

Higemaru nods eagerly. Aura swallows.

"Don't be stupid," requests Nakarai.

"Knock knock!" calls Chie, flitting into the room. "I sent Rose back to the day-care room, so don't worry, Shuu and Karren. Hinami and Ayato are looking after her."

"Did she see the news?" Tsukiyama asks with a wince.

Chie sighs and nods. "Only a glimpse, before I turned her away."

Karren curses in German. Ui sucks in his breath. If Rose saw the news, she will probably tell the other kids.  _I don't want Masanori to worry._

"She asked why ghouls would want to hurt people when they can just eat people who are already dead." Chie snorts.

Tsukiyama's jaw drops. He looks ashen. Chie snaps a photo.

Kaneki smiles. "Well."

"This is the world we're creating," says Akira, pulling her hair up. "She thinks it's not normal to hurt someone."

 _That's a world that's never existed before,_  Ui thinks. Because he grew up thinking it wasn't just normal, but good and right to hurt ghouls.

Juuzou, Amon, and Yomo emerge after a grueling two-hour call with the prime minister. "We have only a week, or they'll put restrictive measures on ghouls again."

 _Fuck_.

When Ui picks up Masanori at the end of the day, they find Rose chattering about what she saw when working with Chie on computers.

"I saw the bad guy," Rose announces. "Today. The clown. He looks like a sad prince."

"You're wrong," Yuki declares. "He's a clown. He has to have a huge nose."

"Well, he doesn't."

"Koma has a huge nose and he's not a clown," adds Chiasa, crossing her arms over her dress.

 _A prince?_  Ui could gag himself. He remembers when he supported Furuta too. His next interrogation with the man is the following week.

 _Do you finally feel like you're a hero of justice, Ui Koori?_  Furuta crooned last time.  _Interrogating the evil clown to save the world? Do you and Hairu have more kids now, or did you decide not to create any more new ghouls?_

Ui swallows.

"Ui, Ui," calls Ryouko, getting to her feet. "I heard that people are angry at ghouls." Her lip trembles.

"Ryouko," Hinami starts.

"Some people are small-minded," Ayato interjects.

 _Yes—and no._  "They're just scared," Ui says, forcing himself to smile. "They probably don't know any ghouls. They don't have ghoul friends, so they're scared. People are scared of things they don't understand."

"Like Seidou's scared of the dark," teases Yuki.

"Not nice," warns Ui. He's heard about Seidou's fear of the dark from both Akira and Amon. "And I used to be afraid of ghouls, too. But then I made ghoul friends."

"Oh." Mie frowns. Hinami smiles at him.

"So you were scared of me?" asks Nozomi, eyes widening. She holds up her hands like claws, eyes gleaming.

 _Why is your child like this, Arima?_  "No," says Ui with a snort. "I made ghoul friends before you were born."

Nozomi looks almost disappointed.

"Bye Rose," sings Masanori. He kisses Rose on the cheek.

 _Wait, what?_  Ui's eyes widen.

"Puppy love," Ayato says, leaning back against the doorjamb. His smirk tells Ui he knows exactly what he's doing.

"You smell good," Rose giggles. Masanori grins.

"Let's go," Ui croaks, reaching for his son's hand. Masanori waves goodbye.

_Why Tsukiyama?_

_My son has a crush on a full ghoul. Not just a full ghoul, but a Tsukiyama._

_Why, God?_

"Did you just see a ghost or something?" Hairu questions as she waits outside with Takizawa. Nashiro races towards their son.

Ui shakes his head. Masanori scampers down the sidewalk with Nashiro.

"Oh, you must have just found out," Takizawa says, twirling a pen between his fingers. "Shiro told me and Kurona a month ago that Masanori was sweet on Rose. Shiro had all these elaborate plans to get them together."

"What?" Hairu's jaw drops, and then she laughs.

"I thought it was bad enough when he was best friends with your kid," croaks Ui.

"Hey!" Takizawa glowers at him, but they both laugh, because they both like each other.  _We're friends._

"If Nozomi tells Eto," mumbles Hairu. "We're so screwed."

Ui shudders. When they get home, they have dinner and then they give Masanori a bath and send him to bed. Ui and Hairu comb through some of the old CCG files on their computer, looking for any sort of clue.

"Daddy? Mommy?" they hear a whisper.

"Masanori?" calls Hairu.

He stands in the doorway. "Can I have a glass of water?"

Hairu leaps up to get him one. Ui studies.

"Am I bothering you?" Masanori asks.

"Huh?" Ui jerks his gaze away from the screen.  _You've never asked something like that before._ It feels like a kick to the chest.

Masanori's brow creases. "Are we bothering you? At Goat, I mean. You're so busy—"

"It's just because we've got an important case to work on," Ui assures his son, shutting his laptop. "You're not bothering us."

Hairu returns, a worried look in her eyes. Ui remembers how she's said she grew up in the Sunlit Garden, a place where she was a bother to everyone, a failed half-ghoul. Just like Furuta. Arima's the only one who showed her even a smile.

" _I was raised to think I had a use, but I wanted a life,"_ she said once.

"I hope you solve it soon," says Masanori, drinking the water. "And you will. I know you will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Miza and Naki are forced to break the law to save their children, and Eto finds her daughter snooping.


	29. Turned Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

" _Please_ , Joji!" calls Chiasa as Miza picks up her son and daughter.

"I said I'll think about it," Joji says over his shoulder.

"Think about what?" asks Miza, planting her hands on her hips. Joji smoothes his hair, which is salmon-colored like Miza's, but other than his hair color and small stature, Joji's all Naki. He begs Naki in the mornings to comb his hair back like Naki wears his, and for his last birthday, Naki bought him a white suit.

"He won't even tell  _me_ ," grouses Ruri, holding her arms up for Miza to carry her. Miza sighs and crouches down, lifting her daughter. Ruri's blond head presses into her shoulder.

"That's because you're not old enough," Joji taunts.

"Joji," warns Miza.

"Sorry, Ruri," Joji says, folding his arms behind his back and hopping on one leg.

"Keep trying to keep up like that," Miza calls, speeding up.

"Wait!" Joji shrieks and races after them. Miza smiles down at him.  _Should we do it? Should we try the medication and eat human food, even though they wouldn't be able to for a time?_

She doesn't want her kids to feel alone, not even for one second, and least of all because of what their ghoul nature requires of them.

Naki sprints to them from the side street where Furuta's being kept. Hirako and 0 Squad watch him at night.

" _Are your kids as miniature as you?" Furuta asked earlier, cocking his head. "Are they as dim-witted as that thing you call a husband?"_

" _Don't listen to that nitwit," Naki commented, shoulders stiff, but Miza's kagune was already out._

" _Did I get under your skin?" he crooned._

" _Yeah," Miza said, tossing his food at him. "You did. Because you're insulting the man I love and the children I love and am proud of, because you've got nothing and no one who loves you and nothing and no one to be proud of."_

_Furuta threw the food at the door after she shut it, shrieking with laughter, but getting under his skin didn't feel as satisfying as Miza thought it would._

"Daddy!" shrieks Ruri, reaching for him. Naki grabs her in one arm and Joji in the other, swinging them through the cool night air. He sets Joji down and balances Ruri on his hip. Miza grins.

"Are you watching the evil clown man?" asks Joji.

Miza frowns. Naki nods. "Yep."

"Is he still evil?" Joji asks, stopping to pluck a green leaf from a dangling branch.

"Of course he is," says Miza.

"What makes him so evil?" asks Joji.

"He doesn't like ghouls," says Miza. "Or humans. Or happiness."

"He sounds sad," says Joji, scuffing his feet. "Didn't Ui say he used to not like ghouls? And Amon and Akira and Takizawa were ghoul investigators—maybe if you're nice to him he'll see—"

Miza's heart aches. "Some people can't see, Joji."

"Huh?" He peers up at her. "But you all did."

"Furuta is different."  _He always wanted to die, and to take as many with him as he could._ Miza hasn't forgotten what he did to Eto's editor and Shiono's namesake.

"Why?" asks Joji, a frown on his lips.

"Is he really scary?" wonders Ruri.

"Terrifying," Naki agrees. "But he's no match for me!"

Ruri shudders. "Don't get hurt, Daddy."

"Mom and I are too careful," Naki promises, and Miza can't even bring herself to scold him for it. They don't have to be afraid of leaving their kids, of dying. Or at least, not as afraid.

_It's a new world._

"Is he just in a house?" Joji asks. "That doesn't seem too safe." He bites his lip.

"Don't worry," Naki insists, peering down at their son. "We've got him kept in a secure room, with guards. There's no way in or out."

"Can we stop at the playground?" asks Ruri, pointing at the swings as they pass one, where groups of parents chase giggling children around swings and see-saws and jungle gyms.

Miza opens her mouth to say it's too late, with the sky darkening to a rich blue, but Naki interrupts her. "Sure."

"Only for a half hour," Miza amends.

"You're no fun," teases Joji.

"Hey," Naki orders. "No talking to your mother like that." He leans close to Miza. "I think you're pretty fun."

Miza smirks at him. "You think I'm boring, do you, Joji?"

"No—"

She chases her son, and he shrieks, running and giggling, an innocent, bubbling laugh instead of Furuta's dead, cracking one. She hoists him into the air and climbs one of the slides, sliding down with him. Naki pushes Ruri on the swings.

Joji grabs onto the jungle gym, swinging himself from bar to bar.

"He's really good," whispers a little girl, her onyx hair secured in two pigtails, to a boy who looks like he must be her brother. Humans.

"He is," comments a woman who looks like she must be their mother. She beams at Miza. "Your son might be a budding gymnast."

Miza laughs. "He's strong, he is." And smart. And about to start school and get the opportunities she and Naki never had.

Joji hops down and bounds over to the other kids. Miza's heart soars. He might make human friends at school.

"Is he your only one?" asks the woman.

Miza shakes her head, turning to nod at Naki, pushing Ruri up. Miza hopes Ruri doesn't fall and hurt herself— _Naki, be careful_ —"That's my daughter, and my husband."

"You have a beautiful family," comments the woman, smiling.

Miza blinks. "Thank you."

"Look out!" calls the girl with pigtails. Miza whirls back around to see Joji's hand slipping on the bars, which he's climbed back up. Almost instantly, Joji's bikaku kagune, the perfect copy of Miza's own, emerges, grasping the bar and stopping his fall.

"Oh!" The woman who seemed so friendly moments ago gasps, jumping back. Her kids scream, the boy shoving his sister behind him.

Joji scrambles down, looking scared. He looks up at Miza. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Miza tells him, her heart pounding. "Not your fault. It's instinctual."

"To kill?" snarls the woman. "I saw what you ghouls did to those schoolchildren—it's all over the news—you—"

"Ghouls hurt someone?" Joji asks, eyes wide. Salmon strands dangle down his face. Miza grabs him.

"Don't they know what they are?" demands the woman.

"What are they?" Miza spits at her. "People?  _Kids?"_

"Leave my mom alone!" shouts Joji. "She and my dad work for Goat!"

The girl shrieks, grabbing her mother, and now more parents are turning to stare. Every muscle in Miza tenses. She wants to burst out her kagune, protect them—but she can't, not yet—she needs to try to get away peacefully first.

"Don't make them mad, they could kill you!" shouts the boy, and the raw terror in the child's voice—it shatters Miza's heart.

"My mom would never kill a human!" cries Joji, grasping Miza's arm.

"You took out your kagune!" the boy yells. "I've seen those on TV—they can kill—"

"But I  _wouldn't!"_  wails Joji.

Naki starts running towards her, Ruri in his arms. Miza sees the crowd forming and she gulps.  _We could be lynched here._

_Not with my kids around—no one's hurting them._

She grabs Joji up in her arms and releases her kagune. Parents scream, protecting their own children, seeing her as a monster for protecting hers.

Miza spins on her heel and runs across the lush grass. Her kagune retracts, and Naki falls into step behind her. Joji sobs against her chest. They make it back to their apartment without the police showing up, and Naki locks the door. Miza grabs her phone, dialing Juuzou. Hopefully, if anyone called the cops on them, he can straighten it out.

"Why were they scared of me?" wails Joji.

"Not you," snaps Miza. "Just—ghouls."

Joji presses his tiny fists over his eyes, and Miza hates herself, hates herself for putting Joji at risk, hates herself for creating problems for Goat even though she knows Juuzou, Amon, and Yomo won't mind.

"Hanbee, put Juuzou on," she requests.

"Think of good things," Naki encourages their son, crouching on the floor and wrapping him up in a hug. Ruri settles onto their couch. "Aren't you kids doing a treasure hunt tomorrow? I heard it was Nozomi's idea."

Joji nods, wiping tears from his eyes. He drops his gaze to his shoes.

"Don't ever be embarrassed about crying," Miza tells her son as she waits for Hanbee to get Juuzou. It sounds like Juuzou's engaged in aggressive negotiations to get Hiroto to go to bed. Hiroto is not having it.

Apparently accepting defeat, Juuzou finally gets on the phone and Hanbee takes over. Miza explains what happened.

"Not your fault," Juuzou says. "I'd do anything to protect Hiroto, too." They adopted him from a family that had been killed by a ghoul the police were forced to kill when he refused to surrender. Hiroto was just a baby, and when Hanbee went in and found the infant, he wasn't able to put him down.  _"I wasn't able to leave you after we found you either," Shinohara told Juuzou that night, and Juuzou's jaw dropped and he reached for the baby, and from that day on Hiroto was his._ He dotes on his son.

"But taking out your kagune in front of someone is technically a crime," Miza says, heart thumping. "And since we said we worked for Goat, people will be—"

"I won't let anything happen," Juuzou promises. "Promise, okay? We'll just—tell the truth because Hanbee's giving me a look that says that's the best option—Hiroto, if you go to sleep you might get a surprise under your pillow in the morning!" he hollers.

"Candy?" calls the four-year-old.

"Maybe, but you won't find out unless you go to bed within five minutes!"

"Ten," says Hanbee. "I'll read you a story, okay? Then it's lights out."

Hiroto agrees, and Miza smiles in spite of herself.

"Don't worry, Miza," Juuzou says, though his voice sounds frail.

"I can't not," she whispers, covering her mouth to keep Joji and Ruri from hearing. Every day they get nowhere with Furuta—every day V continues to make its resurgence—she's fought for so long, and she was finally starting to feel as if it'd all been worth it.

_What if it won't be, in the end?_

* * *

Eto eases herself up. Shiono, her four-year-old son, sleeps in his bed, arms wrapped around the stuffed owl Kaneki bought him for his birthday. She leaves the storybook she read him on his overflowing bookcase, right next to the glasses he wears. It was a nice story, a happy story, where everyone lived happily ever after.

Eto still doesn't believe in that kind of ending.

Arima sips some chamomile tea in their kitchen, peering at his laptop. Eto rolls her eyes and shuts the laptop.

"Hey!" he protests.

"Forget work." Eto drops onto the chair next to him.

"Can't." Arima slides her phone to her. Eto frowns as she reads Juuzou's text, and Miza's apology.

Eto rolls her eyes. "Why is she even sorry? Bastards deserved it. Who can think they have the moral high ground when they're threatening a child?" Of course, she knows all about that. Eto tightens her hands on the wooden edge of their kitchen table. She had to fight for her survival in the 24th ward as far back as she can remember. She remembers being four or five and crying, and hating the humans she saw who could be so carefree and happy while they forced ghouls into a kind of life where they fought each other.  _As long as we aren't eating you, you don't care what we do to each other because we're scum to you, but that makes you the scum._

"It's not exactly helping ghouls look good," Arima says, rubbing his temples as he removes his glasses.

"Honestly, if they can't understand a mother wanting to protect her child, what the hell are we even doing?" Eto points out. She grabs her phone and taps a text. That's the angle Hinami should go for when the press inevitably gets word of the incident.

Arima nods. His brow creases, no doubt worrying about how Nozomi will be starting school soon, and then won't be able to protect her. Shiono might be a half-human like him, but Nozomi's a half-ghoul, and Eto refuses to raise her daughter to be ashamed of it.  _"Be proud but be smart,"_  she always says.

"Hopefully, once everyone hears  _Arima_  Nozomi, no one will mess with her at school," Eto declares. "Or else I'll show up and go full kakuja on those stuffy-ass teachers."

Arima lets out a laugh, and there it is—that smile, like the one he first gave Eto that gave rise to their plan. Neither of them can understand how they're alive to see its fruition, but Eto doesn't feel like complaining. She launches herself at him, planting her mouth against his, forcing his open.

"Don't make the prime minister call me to have to exterminate my wife at a school," Arima pants.

"You wouldn't do it," Eto taunts.

"And you wouldn't either," Arima says. Eto arches an eyebrow to counter him. He rolls his eyes, hands interlocking over the back of her neck, pulling her down. He picks her up, carrying her towards their bedroom. "See, you're small enough that I can—"

"Try and control me with my kakuja," Eto hisses in his ear before she licks it.

"No thank you." Arima stops.

Eto frowns and hops down. A light glimmers under Nozomi's door. Arima pushes it open.

Nozomi sprawls on her bed, her long blue hair spread around her as she reads a newspaper. Her jaw falls open as her parents enter.

"You're supposed to be in bed, young lady," Arima informs her. Eto snatches the newspaper.

Which is open to an article about the ghoul killings. "Nozomi!"

"Why can't I read it?" Nozomi cries out.

"Because—" Arima gulps. "Because we don't want you telling your friends about it."

Nozomi crosses her arms, defiant. "But you don't tell me anything about ghouls or—if ghouls really do kill kids like that, it's not surprising they hate us so much." Her lip trembles.

"I'm not a ghoul," Arima points out.

"You're part ghoul," Nozomi retorts. She knots her fists, and Eto hates seeing her distressed.

"Yoriko and Takeomi and Fuyumi aren't," Arima says.

"I'll tell you a story," says Eto. "Okay, Nozomi? About a human girl named Ukina and a ghoul named Kuzen."

Arima raises his eyebrows.  _Are you ready for this?_  he seems to be asking.

 _I might leave out the ending._ And that Ukina just wanted to get close to V. But… couldn't she have loved him too? And loved her?

 _Probably not_.

But she wishes for it, and she doesn't understand how she can still wish.

Eto swallows as she climbs onto the bed next to Nozomi, slipping her arm around her daughter as she tells about how Ukina went to spy on Kuzen, but they fell in love.

"Did they live happily ever after?" asks Nozomi.

Eto looks away.

"Is this a true story?" Nozomi wants to know.

"Yes," says Eto. "They're my parents."

"But you said your mom died and your dad—"

"The world," Eto says, taking Nozomi's face between her hands. "It's still—somewhat wrong, but it was very wrong then. Ukina was killed by V. My father was—devastated." But not enough to not kill her. Eto's eyes sting.  _Did you think of me when you were doing it, or only after, you selfish man?_  "If they were alive today, maybe they could have been okay."

"Like you and Dad?" Nozomi murmurs, sleepy.

"Yes," Eto says. "Maybe. Tomorrow, I'll read you some of her diaries." She has parts of them memorized.

Arima watches, his gaze downcast.

Eto kisses Nozomi good night, and then leaves, shutting the door with a click. "I hate this."

"What?" asks Arima.

"What happened to my parents—what happened to me—I want to protect them, and we can't." She and Arima have agreed to share age-appropriate details,; so far, they know Arima was a famed CCG investigator, and Eto led a ghoul revolution group but they don't know about the extent of everything their parents did.

_When Nozomi has human friends at school, will she hate me?_

_What if she doesn't make human friends?_

Arima holds her close, and she knows he's scared too, and that's her only comfort.

That, and the fact that Nozomi and Shiono will never have to doubt that they are loved.

She wakes the next morning to find that Nozomi's crawled into bed with them like she used to when she was a toddler and had a bad dream. Eto strokes Nozomi's dark blue strands and wonders, for the first time since she was young, what her life would have been like had Ukina lived. Eto wraps her arms around her daughter as she waits for the alarm to go off.

When she and Arima get ready, she tells him it's time to contact Tatara, see what he can glean for the 24th ward. Arima nods.

"I won't go myself," she says, and Arima's jaw drops.

_I don't want to risk Nozomi having only my writings left to know me by._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Fruit-chan meets the children, dun dun dun.


	30. The Stuff of Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

They're not coming today.

Something must have happened. Furuta smiles against the back of his hand.  _This world you've worked so hard to build is so precarious, isn't it? You're still incompetent, aren't you? Letting V reform... how terrible of an organization are you? You deserve this.  
_

 _And the stakes are higher._ He remembers that baby of Nishio's, crying and squirming in his arms.

_Maybe I never lost at all. Maybe it was just a longer game than you thought, Ken Kaneki._

They'll keep trying to play with his mind. He doesn't have to wait much longer to tell them what they want to know. Just long enough so that their world will have crumpled beyond the point where they can put it back together. Furuta runs his hands under the sink, water dripping through his fingers.

He can already tell from the smoldering hate in Mutsuki's eyes when that Quinx tried to interrogate him yesterday.  _The monster is still inside all of you._

_I just have to draw it out._

They already denied him the death penalty, preferring him to live and suffer, live because he might be useful later on, according to Kaneki.

_I've always just been about uses._

He thinks of Rize and smiles.  _You user._  She fought back because he let her, until she spat on all the freedom he gave her and didn't deserve to use people and freedom and life anymore, so he used her to create the Oggai.

Something clanks in the ceiling above. Furuta frowns. This stupid building makes all sorts of annoying noises.

Something scrapes. Furuta cocks his head.  _Has someone finally snapped and come to kill me? I bet it's Takizawa—or Urie—maybe Mutsuki, I might at least get a laugh_ _—_

Something falls from the ceiling. Followed by two more somethings. And a fourth, and a fifth. A sixth. The things wriggle, getting to their knees, their feet.

_Kids?_

For a moment Furuta thinks he's fallen asleep, and his mind is mixing up the Sunlit Garden with this hellhole. But no, the faces are unfamiliar.

" _Clown!"_  shrieks one child, a boy with dark black hair. He throws himself at Furuta, wrapping his arms around his legs. "Clown clown clown clown clown!"

"Are you sure you should be hugging him?" whispers a tall boy who bears more than a striking resembling to Amon Koutarou.

_This can't be happening._

_This is too easy._

For the first time in his life, Furuta's mind short-circuits. It's completely blank, devoid of any plans.

"Rose was right," comments a girl with indigo pigtails. A redhead cling to her friend's shoulder— _you must be Mie._

_We've met._

"He does look more like a prince than a clown."

"His mouth's hanging open like a clown's," comments a green-haired boy. A girl with long blue hair frowns at him, and Furuta's chest grows cold as he realizes whose face hers is a carbon-copy of, and whose chin she has.  _No way._

The child clinging to Furuta's legs peers up at Furuta, narrowing his eyes. "How come your nose is small?" His own jaw drops, and his lips tremble. "And it's not red."

"Because this isn't the circus!" hisses the green-haired boy. One of Urie and Mutsuki's spawn, Furuta presumes.

_Should I kill them? How would they react to that?_

"But you are the clown, right?" asks the boy hugging him. He peers up with Furuta with eyes the size of saucers. "I love clowns."

 _Kaneki's kid. Kirishima's kid_. For sure.

 _Did their parents send them?_  No, they aren't that stupid. Apparently their kids are, though. "H-how did you get in here?"

"Air vent," says Mie. "Too big for you to escape, clown-man. Yuki, we only have a few minutes before Rose won't be able to scramble the data anymore so ask your questions and let's  _go."_

"But he doesn't look like a clown," Yuki says, shoulders slumping.

Furuta crouches down, mind finally snapping into action, gallivanting ahead. One thing's for sure: if the cameras snap back on while these kids are here, the guards will kill him within seconds. And as much as Furuta doesn't care, this could be the start of a fun game he'd like to see play out a bit longer. "That's because clowns can be like ghouls. They look human, but they're different. Sometimes we don't wear our masks, like you don't always show your kakugans or your kagunes."

"Aren't you a ghoul too?" questions Ryouko.

"Half-ghoul," Furuta confirms. "Like you, right, Yuki?"

Yuki grins in delight. "We're  _alike!"_  He throws his arms around Furuta in another hug.

 _Why_. The kid smells like sweat and dust.

"Me too," says the blue-haired girl. She shows off her kakugan. "I'm Arima Nozomi."

_For real?_

"We have a question for you," says the Urie kid. "And our parents won't answer it so we're curious."

"What if  _he_  doesn't answer it?" asks Amon—Seidou.  _Right, that was the brat's name._

"What if he does?" counters Ryouko.

"What's your question?" Furuta asks, rubbing his chin.

"I heard my parents saying you helped make us," says the Urie kid. "How?"

"Did you make us in a lab?" asks Mie.

 _What the hell?_  Of all the questions to be asked, Furuta did not expect this one. He laughs. It sounds thin.

The kids are waiting.

He also never expected to give the answer he has to give. "Ask your parents."

"They won't answer," says the Urie kid. "They said they made us because they loved each other and wanted kids."

 _Clever enough, Urie and Mutsuki_. "That's true," Furuta allows, smiling at them. "But—"  _I have to plant some seeds_. "I may have helped them be able to do that."

"Love each other?"

"No, have kids. With science."

"How?" asks Yuki, pulling back.

"Ask your parents."

"We can't," says Seidou. "We don't want to get in trouble."

"Are you really an evil clown?" wonders Yuki. "Or are you like Uncle Uta and Aunt Itori, a once-evil clowns who're now nice?"

 _Uta and Itori are nice? When did this happen?_  Furuta shrugs. "Your parents and I just had different versions of a better world. We both wanted the same thing but had different ways of getting there."  _Take root, seeds._

"What did you want?" asks Mie.

"Peace," Furuta says, fighting a smile.

"So is he actually not evil?" asks the Urie kid.

"I don't know," says Seidou.

"Do you miss looking like a clown?" asks Yuki, hopping on one foot. "Because I could bring you makeup so that you look like a clown so you can be yourself again."

"We should go," says Seidou.

"But we didn't really get an answer," the Urie kid complains.

"What's your name?" Furuta asks.

He hesitates, rubbing his eyes. "Urie Isamu."

"I might be able to answer other questions you might have," Furuta says. "But I can't be that specific about that one, I'm afraid. I did work with your parents for awhile—not yours, Kirishima Ryouko, but everyone else's."

"At the CCG, right?" says Nozomi.

He nods.

"Did you really try to kill me as a kid?" blurts out Mie.

"Mie!" yelps Ryouko, moving in front of her friend like she's afraid Furuta will try to kill them now.

"I won't hurt you," he promises, holding his hands up and fighting a laugh. "And no, Mie. I didn't want to kill you. Like I said, your parents and I had different ideas about how the world should go. I was just holding you during an argument."

"So you used to be friends with them?" questions Ryouko.

Furuta nods.  _Not then,_  but the kids clearly don't know the timeline, and he can use this.

"We'll be back," Ryouko decides.

"With clown paint!" calls Yuki.

"Quiet, Yuki!" hisses Seidou. The kids pause beneath the air vent. All of their eyes grow round. Mie clamps her hand to her forehead.

_Oh shit._

"You can't climb up there, can you?" asks Furuta. Of course they can't. He can't even reach it.

They all shake their heads.

"Well, since I don't want the guards to kill me—and they will if they catch you in here, because they'll think I'm hurting you," Furuta says. "I'll help you."

"Thank you!" chirps Isamu. Furuta crouches and picks the kids up one at a time, feeding them through the ceiling. If he lifts them over his head, they can reach.

He definitely can't fit up there. Ryouko and Seidou barely can.

_But there might be another way… if they really do come back._

Because if he could escape, relish his freedom like Rize did when he set her free, he could create more havoc than Goat could possibly dream of in their worst nightmares. And maybe, just maybe, those incompetent morons will finally be able to realize how desperate their situation is and how cruel they have to be to exterminate V.

* * *

"Tomorrow," declares Rose. "Chiasa, Masanori, Shiro, Joji, and I will go."

"And me! I promised," says Yuki, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Promised what? Go where?" asks Akira, crossing her arms as she arrives to pick Seidou up. Her son beams at her. Joji rushes over to his sister.

"I let the older kids do a treasure hunt earlier today around the neighborhood," says Hide, tossing a pen in the air and catching it. "It seems to be the latest hit."

Akira nods. "Did you have fun?"

"Uh-huh." Seidou nods. Dust— _no, it must be dirt_ —is smeared over the knees of his jeans. "Where's Daddy?"

"Working late," Akira answers. In other words, being yelled at by newscasters and the prime minister. More ghouls are apparently joining the remnants of V, and more humans are forming resistance groups. They arrested a man for smuggling a quinque into the country from Korea, and now there are protests, as many feel quinques should be allowed in basic homes.

" _If there's no CCG to protect us, shouldn't we be able to protect ourselves?"_

"Let's stop and pick up some curry," Akira says, remembering all the times her father would take her for the spicy food. Amon might be able to eat with them soon enough. Kimi distributed the medication earlier today, with instructions to inject it before bed.

"Yay!" Seidou cheers. He clings to her hand and smiles. "I love curry."

"I know." She winks.

They enter the store, the spicy scent tingling in her nostrils. Akira's stomach rumbles as she pays for the curry.

"I know you," says a man's voice.

Akira whirls around. Seidou frowns up at an older man, face wrinkled and eyes bloodshot.

"I'm afraid I don't know you," Akira responds. "Come on, Seidou." She takes his hand and pulls him towards the exit.

"You're the wife of that ghoul who runs Goat! The  _half_ -ghoul—half, yeah right! The ex-CCG agent—"

Akira picks up her pace, rushing to the exit. She scans the faces around her. Few are friendly. Most scowl, some look indifferent, some surprised.

"Ghouls killed my wife, you ghoul loving _whore!"_ The man throws his curry into Akira's face.

"Mommy!" shrieks Seidou. Akira gasps, glaring at the man as the liquid drops down her chin. Her eyes sting from the spices.

"You have to leave," orders the waiter. "Or I'll call the police." He approaches the irate man.

"Is this your spawn? Is it a ghoul too?" he rages. "And I'm not leaving—you'd rather serve scum like her?"

"So what?" screams Seidou instead of the  _I'm not_  Akira expected.

"Don't you dare bring my son into this!" Akira shouts. "You—"

"Wasn't your father a famed ghoul investigator? Aren't you ashamed to visit his grave? You good-for-nothing  _traitor_ —"

It takes all of Akira's self-control not to throw her curry into his face, but she's been craving it all day and goddammit, she's going to have it. "You need to calm down, you—"

"Yeah," says a voice from the doorway. "Calm down, because  _you're_  starting to look like the monster here." Takizawa Seidou stands there, crossing his arms as he leans against the door.

"Attacking a woman and her child?" says Kurona, stepping in front of Nashiro. Her eyes glow. Seidou's kakugan emerges as well.

The waiter leaps back. Other customers gasp.

"Don't worry," Seidou says, pushing his hair back. "We're not hungry."

"That might make them feel worse," Akira hisses. Her son clings to her leg.

"Let's go," Kurona declares. Akira sweeps out the door, refusing to look at any of them. Her son hurries along.

"The unrest's getting worse," Seidou whispers to Akira. "Amon asked us to make sure you got home safely after what happened to Miza and Naki yeterday."

Akira rolls her eyes. People stare at her as she hurries through the streets, curry seeping into her clothes. Kurona and Seidou's eyes return to normal.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" asks Seidou, voice shaking.

"I'm fine," Akira assures him, crouching down so he can see her eyes. "It didn't hurt me. He was just being mean because he was sad."

"Grandfather fought ghouls?"

Akira nods. "You know that."

"But he figured out he was wrong before he died, right? And that ghouls aren't all bad?" Seidou inquires.

Akira's heart drops. _If I say no, will you hate him?_

_He did evil things._

_He's my father, and I still adore him._

_If I say yes, it's a lie._

"He didn't," Akira admits. "He was—complicated. Like that old man we just met, he lost his wife—my mother, your grandmother—to a ghoul."  _To Eto_. "If he'd lived long enough to see what we've seen, to see Daddy become a half-ghoul and you, I'm sure his mind would have changed."  _I hope anyways. I have to hope, because there's no way for me to be proven wrong._

"Hey," Seidou says to his namesake. "All three of us here were ghoul investigators for a time before we changed our minds. Well, Kuro never graduated, but she tried. Maybe someday that man will change his mind, too."

Kurona jabs him with her elbow. Nashiro giggles and reaches out to take Akira's son's hand. "Don't worry, Seidou," she says. Seidou's face blushes red. They skip ahead, singing together.

Akira's eyebrows fly up. Adult Seidou's jaw drops.

When they get home, Kuro, Adult Seidou, and Shiro leave. Akira washes off and changes, and then settles down to eat with Seidou, but her son keeps biting his lip and picks at the curry.

"Are you upset about what happened?" Akira asks, pushing her own bowl to the side.

"No," says Seidou.

 _No?_  Akira blinks.

"It's fine," Seidou says. "The man didn't know what he was saying. You and him both just want to make the world better, but he thinks it'd be better without ghouls in it. You just have different ideas of how to make the world better."

Akira nods.  _That's a surprisingly mature answer._

 _Who said it to you?_ Something niggles in her stomach. Her intuition, the intuition her father trained her to trust, squirms. "Where'd you hear that?" she asks casually, reaching to steal some of his curry with her chopsticks.

"No!" Seidou laughs, battling her in a chopstick swordfight. "I didn't hear it anywhere."

Akira narrows her eyes.

The doorknob jiggles, as if someone's turning the keys. Seidou springs to his feet. "Daddy!"

"I'm back," Amon announces, throwing his arms around his son. He frowns at Akira. "Kuro called and said—"

"This man came up and threw curry on us," Seidou reports. "Because he said Mommy's a ghoul-lover and a traitor."

Akira winces. "He did say that."

Amon pales as he heaves his son up into his arms. Akira knows what he's thinking: what if he'd gotten violent? With Seidou there…

After Seidou's in bed, Amon helps Akira clear the curry away and then pulls out his syringe, the one Kimi gave him with instructions to inject in the morning and at night.  _Like insulin for a diabetic_. He stares at it.

"Try it," says Akira. "And maybe you can have donuts again. That would make Seidou happy." He always gets sad when Akira buys donuts for the two of them, and Amon can't join in.

Amon snorts, and then heads into the bathroom. When he comes out, the syringe is empty.

"Feeling okay?" Akira asks anxiously.

He nods. "Just worried. This medication has to work—it might be our only hope."

"Don't say that," Akira rebukes him, leaning her head against his chest.  _I'm afraid too_. "People can—"

"Mommy?"

Akira spins around. "Seidou?"

Her son wraps his arms around himself, shivering. "I can't sleep. It's too dark."

Akira frowns. "But your nightlight—"

"It's too dark," her son repeats, blinking back tears. "I'm scared of—"

"I'll find another one," Akira says.

"No one's going to break in and hurt you," Amon assures him, carrying their son back to his room, the one decorated with sports posters and pictures of him with their friends. Seidou leans his head on Amon's shoulder. Akira rummages through a junk drawer. "I promise. That man—"

"I'm not scared of that man. I'm scared of the evil clown." Seidou presses his face into Amon's shoulder.

 _Furuta?_  Akira frowns.

"He's in prison," Amon assures him. "You'll never have to see him. He can't hurt anyone anymore, not even me or Mom."

Akira finds the nightlight and hurries into the room, plugging it in. It's practically as bright as day now.

Akira joins Amon on their son's bed, holding him until he falls asleep.

It takes over an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Furuta's manipulation has begun, and he taunts Kaneki.


	31. Unsettled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Ready for this?" Ui asks Kaneki the next morning, chugging another cup of coffee. With cream.

 _I can't even remember what cream tastes like, except that I liked it._ Kaneki snorts. "As ready as I'm going to be."

Akira and Amon both stagger in to Goat looking as if they hardly slept. Kaneki rushes over to her. "Takizawa told us what happened last night—are you—"

"I'm fine," Akira says, rolling her eyes. "Seidou seemed pretty upset though, but I'm not sure if it's entirely because of what happened, or if he's overheard too much about what's going on here. He's intuitive and probably knows there's more at stake than what we're telling him."

Ui frowns. "Masanori seemed kind of troubled last night, too."

 _Not Yuki._  Their son was in high spirits, running around and making Kaneki and Touka chase him. Touka practically had to wrestle Yuki to get him to go to bed.

"We can't lie to them," Ui says. "It's… difficult."

 _Striking this balance._  Kaneki sighs.

Akira nods. "Go break Furuta before I have to."

Kaneki snorts. He and Ui head outside into the warm air, teeming with humidity.

"How's the medication?" Ui asks.

"Touka and I both tried it last night," Kaneki says. "So far, we both feel—fine. The same as ever." He hopes that doesn't mean it's not working.

_But is being human really better than being a ghoul?_

" _You'll still be ghouls," Kimi told them. "Just able to eat food other than human flesh. You might have some issues with your kagunes, but we really can't say yet."_

Ui stuffs his hands in his pockets as they stroll down the street towards the house where they're keeping Furuta, two blocks from Goat.  _If the public were to find out…_

"Do you want it to work?" Ui asks, cocking his head.

Kaneki frowns. "Touka says she wants to be able to try cake. And to be able to actually eat Yoriko's food without getting sick." He rubs his chin.

"What about you?"

Kaneki kicks a pebble and watches it skitter over the pavement. "I want it to work, but that worries me."

"Why?"

"Because I used to—" Kaneki gulps. "I didn't care so much about ghouls—I thought myself better than them for so long, even when I was one. I'm worried that this will—if I can go back to eating like a human."

"You'll still have the choice, won't you?" Ui asks. "At—depending on the exact effects, you may become more like Hairu. She was raised to hate ghouls and deny the ghoul part of her was there because she wasn't born with a kakuhou or a kakugan. And she still knows now that ghouls aren't better or worse than humans. And you have—your wife is a ghoul, and your son. And your friends. And everything that happened will still have happened, and you'll remember it if you want to."

Kaneki nods. "I know."

_I'm always afraid of the same thing most, aren't I?_

_Myself._

"We'd also have to see whether Yuki and the kids can even try it," Kaneki adds. A bird swoops awfully close to his head, and he smirks, remembering Touka's hatred of them. "Yuki likes getting shots. He's a weird kid."

Ui laughs.

Kaneki snorts. He pauses outside the house, a normal looking place with a gate and with security cameras strategically placed and hidden out of sight.

"Kaneki!" shrieks Naki, guarding Furuta today with Miza. "We saw your kids around here yesterday."

"Their scavenger hunt," Ui says, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah," Kaneki says. "They didn't see you, did they?"

"Well," says Naki, rubbing the back of his head. He glances at Miza as she emerges.

"Just briefly," Miza said. "Joji brought them here, I think—he knows more or less where we are. But we told them to run along."

Suddenly Seidou's fears over sleeping in the dark make so much more sense.  _The kids know Furuta's nearby_. He exchanges a cringe with Ui.

"How is he?" asks Kaneki.

"Been acting happier than normal," Miza reports.

"Whistling," Naki adds. "God, I hate the whistling." He clutches his skill.

Ui scowls. "That can't be good."

"He didn't hear about what happened, did he?" asks Kaneki.

"No," says Miza. "There's no way. I haven't talked about it, and neither has Naki."

 _Then how?_  Kaneki wonders, sweat prickling on the back of his neck.  _What does he have to be happy about?_

When they take their seats outside of the room where Furuta's being kept, Kaneki furrows his brow and studies Furuta, who lounges on the cot he has to sleep, a smug look on his face.

_I really don't like this._

"Nimura," says Ui when Naki and two other members of the white coats bring a shackled Furuta out. Miza keeps her kagune out. No problems so far, even though they started the medication last night too.

"Using the familiar name, are we today, Koori?" Furuta asks as he's chained to a bench.

Ui folds his arms. "We—"

"Things are getting worse, aren't they?" Furuta croons.

Kaneki scowls.

"And that's confirmation," Furuta chortles. He tilts his head back to the edge of the wall. There are no windows in this room, and it's barren of furniture save for the bench he sits on. Two light bulbs dangle from the ceiling, and paint peels from the walls. "Is the prime minster angry with the one-eyed king?"

 _You still think I'm the king?_  "There's so much you don't know," Kaneki responds.

"That doesn't matter. What matters to you is what I  _do_  know." Furuta starts to whistle.

A lullaby.

Kaneki grits his teeth.  _I can't fail_.

"Of course," says Furuta. "Your kids' lives are at stake now, aren't they? Kaneki, let me guess. You and Touka have—a princess. No, that's wrong, you have a prince, doesn't you?"

Kaneki forces himself to keep his face impassive. Not a muscle can twitch.

"My guess is he has your dark hair," Furuta muses. "A mixture of Kirishima's boldness and your kindness. Although your kindness was always just you grasping at things you were afraid to lose, right? Maybe for him it's genuine."

A chill runs through Kaneki. Ui's eyes bug out.  _You can't know about Yuki—there's no way for you to know—how are you able to predict this?_

"Koori, you and Hairu finally had that quarter-ghoul, didn't you? My father would have branded it a failed experiment, you know, just like your wife."

"Just like you?" Ui shoots back.

Furuta's eyes glow as he leans forward. "Isn't it strange I'm in prison while you got off scot-free, Ui Koori? Or was that your reward for betraying the CCG? Or was pussy your reward?"

Ui leaps to his feet, fists curled. Kaneki scrambles to haul him back.

"I bet your kid's just like Hairu," calls Furuta between giggles. "If there's any justice in the world, Ui Koori, your kid will give you more of a headache than anyone else on this earth!"

"Leave my kid out of this!" Ui snarls.

"And Naki and Miza, how is your brat? He was so close to being born when I was caught—another ghoul to ruin the world."

Naki's kagune bursts out. Miza grabs his arm, holding him back from ripping Furuta's head off.

"It's over, Furuta," Kaneki says. "You've lost. You can't get to our kids."

"No, but the world can," Furuta says with a chuckle. "You know what I want, Kaneki Ken? I want you to lose everything, just like I have." His face twists into a sneer.

"Can I punch him now?" Naki asks.

"No," Kaneki says, glaring at Furuta as he gets to his feet. Rage churns inside him. "Because I already have lost everything before, Furuta. Multiple times. And I've kept going, because of the kindness of other people—"  _Hide. Arima. Touka_. "And that's what  _you_  really want too, isn't it? Someone to care, but you would never accept it."

Furuta glowers at Kaneki.

"Get him back in his cell," Kaneki orders, heart pounding and blood thrumming inside his skull.

Furuta actually struggles for possibly the first time. Kaneki's kagune snaps out of his body without hesitation. Naki and Miza's close in around Furuta's throat.

"That kagune's not yours!" screams Furuta as Naki hauls him back inside. "It's Rize's! Not yours!"

"And Rize's dead  _because of you!"_  Kaneki shouts back. "Take some responsibility!"

"Too late for that," Ui mumbles as Naki slams the door.

Uncharacteristic screaming echoes from inside the room. Kaneki rushes over to the monitor, where he sees Furuta slamming his fists on the concrete floor. He thrusts his head up, and Kaneki can see his kakugan emerging, but he doesn't have the RC levels to use his kagune.

Furuta glares up at the ceiling, as if someone will arrive to magically save him.

But for Furuta, salvation probably means the same thing it used to mean for Kaneki.

 _Death_.

* * *

_Again?_

The air vents creak. Furuta cranes his neck back. This is the third visit in three days. Yesterday he met Tsukiyama Rose, apparently the brains behind freezing the camera frames— _thanks, Hori Chie_ —and Ui Masanori, Takizawa Nashiro— _wonder how Suzuya handles her name—_ Urie Chiasa, who is just as salty as her father, and Joji, who was terrified his parents would realize he was here and barely talked. "Aren't your parents going to start getting suspicious about where you're going?"

"No," says Chiasa as she tumbles to the floor, hair sticking wildly out from what Furuta assumes was once a braid. "We're doing treasure hunts. Nakarai won't notice."

Furuta's skeptical.

"Why are you so worried?" asks Isamu, landing on his feet.

"I don't want to be killed," Furuta replies. "Which will surely happen if anyone realizes you're here."

" _Killed?"_  Yuki lands and gapes up at him, eyes wide and lips trembling. "My parents wouldn't kill you!"

_You don't know very much at all, do you?_

Nozomi drops down, her hair wild and free like Eto used to wear hers. Chiasa mentioned she had a brother yesterday—Shiono. It's good to know some wounds never heal.

Amon Seidou comes through last, his knee scraping against the concrete floor. Blood drips and for a moment Furuta's terrified he'll start crying and alert Naki. "It's okay," the boy manages.

 _Why do you keep coming back?_  Furuta wonders.  _Are your lives this boring?_ His lips curve in a smile. "Well, actually RC suppressants are in this cell. You won't be able to heal until you leave."

"I'm not a half-ghoul," responds Seidou. "It's fine." He still stands back, clearly wary of Furuta.  _You're smart, aren't you, kid?_

"What are RC suppressants?" inquires Isamu.

"They keep ghouls from using their kagunes," Furuta responds.

"Oh," says Yuki. "I think your parents mentioned it before, Seidou."

"So does it work like the medication?" wonders Chiasa. She examines her braid and her lip trembles. "It's ruined. Dad spent so much time on it."

"He won't be mad, Chiasa," says Isamu, picking dust bunnies off his jeans.

She wipes at her eyes, sniffling.

"I could fix it," Furuta offers.  _At least so that your parents don't notice_. He needs them to keep coming back if he's going to escape.

Chiasa hesitates. Seidou shakes his head.

"You can do hair?" asks Nozomi, her nose wrinkling.

"You took your clown makeup off," Yuki observes.

"I didn't want you to get in trouble," Furuta says, remembering how Yuki smeared makeup all over his face the day before. He had to lie down on his cot and scrub it off in the sheets.  _Or get killed myself._

But when they came yesterday, Furuta had been pacing for hours like a caged animal after Kaneki and Ui's visit.

" _Is he crying?" asked Ui's son, Masanori._

" _Are you sad?" asked Yuki._

" _He's sad because he's bad," said Chiasa, clinging to a girl who can only be Tsukiyama Rose, judging by her hair and cheekbones._

" _It's okay," said Yuki, giving Furuta a hug, and Furuta had to bite his tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep from shoving the little brat away. "My dad always hugs me when I've done something bad."_

"Oh right," says Yuki. He wraps his arms around himself, looking almost eerily like his father. "I don't want you to get in trouble either."

"Or killed," says Chiasa. She pulls the rest of her hair from her braid. "Can you really fix it?"

"Probably," Furuta answers. "How long do you have?"

"Twenty minutes," says Seidou, checking his watch. "Maybe less now."

"So what's this medication you mentioned?" Furuta asks. Chiasa stands in front of him, and he tries to yank the tangles out of her hair without hurting her.

"So ghouls can eat human food," reports Isamu.

"Mommy says the adults wants to see if it works first, before Rose or Ryouko or Joji get to try it," says Yuki.

"They'd like ice cream," Isamu tells him.

Yuki covers his mouth and laughs. "Rose says it looks drippy."

"Can you eat human food?" asks Seidou.

 _Me?_  Furuta messes up the braid and has to start over.  _Urie, I presuming you did this. How?_ "I used to be able to."

"Are you like my dad?" asks Yuki. "Once a human, now a ghoul?"

"Once a half-human," Furuta allows. "Like Masanori." He smiles at Seidou, who to his credit and his intuitive Mado genes, still looks vaguely discomforted. "Then a one-eyed ghoul like you, Yuki and Nozomi."

Nozomi frowns and tugs at the ends of her hair.

"Do you want the medication?" asks Isamu. "Maybe if it works they can get you some, too."

"I think I scared your parents too much when we were fighting," Furuta says, his brain fighting to find  _just_  the right phrase, just the right tone and inflection in his words. "I imagine it's kind of like the RC gas though… maybe just a heavier dose." It's totally not, but he isn't counting on the kids understanding that. Except maybe Rose, since it looks like she's a budding genius. "I think your hair's finished."

Chiasa's hand reaches back to pat her braid. "Does it look okay?"

"It looks fine," Isamu assures his sister.

"It looks great," says Nozomi. "Can you do mine? I'll take it out before my parents see, but—"

"Sure," Furuta says, barely suppressing a laugh as he considers what Eto would think about him braiding her daughter's hair.

"Last time we can I hated you," Chiasa informs Furuta. "Now I love you."

Furuta can only imagine Urie's reaction if he were to hear this. And Mutsuki's…  _God_.  _No thanks._

_Why do you keep coming back anyways? I'm not answering any of your questions._

Maybe there is a god, or at least a devil.

"Next time I'll bring more clown makeup," Yuki says.

"Rose is having a clown at her birthday party in a few months," says Chiasa.

"When's your birthday?" Yuki asks, craning his neck to look up at Furuta.

"February 29."

"That's not a real date," says Nozomi.

"Yes, it is," Seidou offers quietly.

"No, Seidou, February has twenty- _eight_  days and—"

"Are you being funny?" asks Yuki.

Furuta snorts. "No. It's a date every four years. It's called a leap year."

"Why?" asks Yuki.

"Because the earth's orbit around the sun makes up a year, and it takes slightly longer than 365 days, so every four years we have an extra day to make up for it."

"Dose that mean you don't get a birthday every year?" asks Isamu, a frown on his face as if that's something tragic.

 _Why would I even want to celebrate?_ He shrugs.

"That's sad," says Yuki.

"You should get going," Furuta says, his heart rate picking up. At any moment now Naki or Miza could check, or Rose could get caught.

"Was that why you were crying yesterday?" asks Yuki, still apparently perturbed by Furuta not having a birthday every year.

"It's not February, dummy," Chiasa retorts.

"Time to go," Furuta orders, finishing Nozomi's braid. She grins, eyes glowing with happiness, unlike the hate that always possessed Eto. And he's dropped enough hints that he'll be able to pounce on next time. And there  _will_  be a next time, he can tell. But right now his throat's tight and his heart's pounding and he wants them  _out_.

"Okay," says Yuki. "Bye, Clown-Man." He gives Furuta another hug.

Furuta lifts them up to the air vent one at a time. Chiasa almost falls. "Thanks for my braid!" she calls as she crawls away. Yuki goes last and shuts the air vent.

The door swings up just as the metal grate clanks back into place.

"What the hell?" snarls Miza. Tiny though she might be, she's also enraged. She stomps over to him, kagune out and ready to slice.

Furuta thrusts his hands in the air. "I wasn't doing anything."

"What was that sound? Naki!"

"Maybe there's a rat," Furuta opines, dropping back onto his cot. "I was wondering myself."

Miza narrows her eyes at him. He sits and glowers back.

_I have a plan. I'm getting out of here, and it'll be your heads, not mine._

_It's not February._

_It's spring,_  he thinks. He doesn't really pay attention anymore.

He doesn't even want to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Fruit-chan manipulates the kids into helping him escape... but not before he drops a few key facts, like what exactly happened to Nashiro's namesake.


	32. Out in the Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is... not a happy chapter.

One day passes. Then two. And it's all the same, every day a new duo coming to see if they can break him, and it should be more fun than it is, but laughs keep sticking in his throat, cutting at his lungs before he can force them up. And it's like they're poisoning him, stuck where they are.

He wakes clawing at his own neck.

_Rize…_

_You cold-hearted bitch. All you ever wanted was to be full._

_What about me?_

"You're lucky they didn't let her eat you," one prison guard once told him.

 _Your freedom killed you, Rize,_ he thinks, balling his fists up. _It could have saved you—should have saved us—but you were too damn selfish._

When he gets free, he'll die that way. Unlike Rize. He probably won't have long, though—just enough time to hopefully get the last laugh, watch the first flames of the world burning shoot towards the sky.

_I'll make murderers of you again. Good luck explaining everything to your kids._

The grate scrapes, early today. At least he thinks it's early in the day. Without windows, it's hard to tell.

"Ow! Stop pushing!" Chiasa hops down first, hair neatly braided like before. Her brother follows, and then Rose and Masanori, Nashiro, Ryouko and Mie, Seidou and Joji, Nozomi, and lastly Yuki.

 _You're all here._ Furuta's eyes bug out. "Who's—"

"Don't worry," says Rose. "I took care of it. Chie loves teaching me computer stuff and it's fun to learn." She holds Masanori's hand in one and takes Chiasa's hand as well.

"Clown!" cheers Yuki again, rushing over to hug him again.

"Can you braid my hair like Chiasa's and Nozomi's?" asks Mie, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'll take it out before we go back."

"I forgot to take it out last time," Nozomi says. "So I told my parents Ryouko did it. She's good at braiding too."

"Not as good as him," says Ryouko.

"How long again, Rose?" asks Nashiro.

"Twenty minutes," Rose replies, checking her watch and smiling to herself.

 _You are all devious little children,_ Furuta thinks.

"Guess what?" calls Yuki.

"Yuki, keep it down!" hisses Seidou.

"Oh." He pauses, holding a piece of paper. His voice drops to a whisper. "Well, I asked my mom about leap years, and she said that if a kid is born on a leap year their birthday would be celebrated on another day, and even though it's not February, we decided to celebrate your birthday _today_."

"What?" Furuta's jaw hangs open.

"Happy Birthday, to my clown," declares Yuki, holding out a piece of paper with stick figures drawn all over it. "That's you. And this one's me, and Mie, and Ryouko, Seidou, Isamu and Chiasa, Rose, Masanori, and Nashiro, Nozomi, and Joji. And Isamu's an artist so he drew the clown face on the back."

Furuta takes the paper, his mouth dry. _How am I going to hide this?_

Isamu smiles shyly. Good grief, he looks just like Mutsuki.

"We heard you can't have cake," says Ryouko.

"So we'll sing to you," proclaims Yuki.

"No," Furuta blurts out, heart pounding. "No, you can't."

"But we _want_ to," insists Masanori, stomping his foot.

"Let people be nice to you for once," snaps Rose, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

 _What?_ He gapes.

"There's a girl at school who hated me and Mie," says Ryouko. "Because we're ghouls. But Seidou was able to be her friend and show her that we're not bad, and because we were nice to her, she now sits with us at lunch."

Mie nods. Seidou smiles. Nozomi looks hopeful.

 _I'm not some prissy school bully!_ Furuta grits his teeth. It takes all of his self-control not to stomp _his_ foot.

"Fine," says Nashiro. "We won't sing. He's scared, can't you see, guys? If we get caught he could get hurt."

"I'm not scared," he snaps.

"Liar," says Chiasa.

Furuta again feels like they're stealing his laughter. _What do I say? What can I say?_

"But it's okay," Seidou says. "I'm scared a lot, too."

"My parents say they're scared sometimes, too," says Isamu. "They're still brave."

 _Are they?_ Furuta snorts.

"Anyways, do Mie's hair, please," says Rose.

 _Fine_. Furuta nods. Mie heads over, handing him a pink hair tie. Her hair's curlier and more unruly than Chiasa's or Nozomi's.

"And we brought candy for you," Masanori says, pulling out a rumpled package of chocolates. "We know you can't eat it, but we were thinking, after you know, you use the RC suppressant like the medication their parents are trying, maybe you can, and you can look forward to it in the meantime."

_I'm sorry, what?_

"We brought you some RC suppressant," confirms Yuki, hopping up and down. "Shiro stole it."

"I asked my dad where it was kept," the girl confirms, tugging on her ponytail.

 _Well, for the first time, I might actually get something I want for my not-birthday_. Furuta forces himself to keep braiding Mie's hair even as he grins. The smile feels faker than it should. "Thank you."

"What are our parents asking you about?" wonders Nashiro.

Furuta freezes. _If I answer this wrong, will they not hand over the suppressant? I could take it anyways—spray it at Miza and Naki_ — _but I'd have to hurt the kids_.

 _It'd be less fun that way_ , Furuta decides. "They think I have information on a ghoul organization that I used to work with. Some ghouls are trying to reform it."

"Oh." Nashiro frowns.

"Why don't you ask your parents?" Furuta asks.

"I did. They won't say, except it has to do with some bad ghouls," says Joji.

"Who hurt people," says Nozomi, wrapping her blue hair around her wrist. "I read it in the paper."

"They can't say because it's top-secret," Masanori says with a roll of his eyes.

"That explains why they're so busy," Seidou says quietly.

"Are they?" Furuta asks. "Your hair's done, Mie."

She pats her braid. "Thank you!" She whirls around and hugs him.

 _I almost kidnapped you as a baby._ Although if he's honest he never intended to get out of that situation alive. Or for Mie to make it out alive. Something cold cuts at the back of Furuta's neck.

"You'll help them, won't you?" demands Ryouko.

Isamu flinches, as if he's expecting Furuta to explode.

"I don't know very much," Furuta lies. Rose's eyes narrow as if she's not buying it.

"Why did you fight against ending the ghoul and human war?" questions Chiasa, frowning up at him.

"We both wanted it to end; the difference was we disagreed on how," Furuta says.

"He wanted to kill all ghouls," says Seidou. "That's what my parents told me. He created the Oggai to—"

"But he's nice now," shoots back Yuki. "You should tell our parents that, Clown-Man."

Furuta's dumbfounded. He can just imagine how well that would go. _Hello, Kaneki-kun. I'm nice now._ He'd be cut through with Kaneki's kagune within nanoseconds.

"Hurting people hurt others," declares Ryouko. "That's what my mom says." She peers up at Furuta, her indigo pigtails bobbing. "Did someone hurt you?"

_What?_

Rize flashes in his mind, his father—the Sunlit Garden—life. _Life hurt me. Everything and everyone._

But all nine of the kids look at him with such goddamn earnest expressions, brows creased, eyes wide, lips pursed, and he has half a mind to take out his kagune and kill them all because why, why, why is he even still trying, this is pointless, everything is against him, everything's always been against him—from the moment he was conceived—engineered— _I just played with science to get you all to exist just like I was created._

But these brats are so innocent and so fucking _stupid_.

"In a war," Furuta says, measuring his words to slink around like a stealth kagune, pierce the vital areas. "Everyone hurts people. No one gets out with clean hands. Not me, and not your parents." _Some things are just more forgivable—why, why is that?_

"What do you mean?" asks Chiasa.

Yuki gapes up at him, eyes wide as he clutches his shoulders.

Furuta's jaw clamps shut. His chest tightens and boiling hot fury tears through him, searing and scalding.

"Furuta?" ventures Joji.

"Are you okay?" asks Yuki.

He remembers the RC suppressant they got him—for his birthday, but it's not his birthday, they don't really care, no one cares. _And you all—you're so ignorant, you're so stupid, you sneak in here and you do this for me and you're all going to die young if you keep being this fucking ungrateful for the safe, accepting world you were lucky enough to be born into!_

The worlds bubble up, and he opens his mouth.

* * *

"The older kids have all been really quiet today," reports Higemaru. "After they returned from their treasure hunt, they haven't even so much as bugged Aura."

Kurona frowns as she pushes her coffee away from her. Seidou's supposed to be working late, so she came to pick up her daughter.

"I'm almost missing it," Aura admits, slipping into the hallway. He brushes his hair back from his face.

"Oh God," says Shirazu, pausing. He sounds like he's trying to joke, but it falls flat.

Kurona frowns. If Aura's saying he misses it, he's worried.

"I wonder if someone said something to them while they were outside on their treasure hunt," adds Higemaru as Urie appears. "They were gone awhile and almost gave us a heart attack, but Ryouko said they ran into someone from school. She said it was fine, though."

 _It wasn't fine, was it?_ Kurona bites back a groan. If this adds to Nashiro's already-present fear of going to school—

"Hey," Kurona calls, entering the day-care room. All of the kids are sitting in the corner, watching a movie but not really watching it. Mie and Isamu both look as if they've been crying. "Shiro, how's it going?"

Nashiro cocks her head and stares at her mother. "Fine." She gets to her feet.

 _Oh shit._ Kurona wonders if Seidou's going to have a short workday after all. "Let's go, okay?"

Nashiro heads out the door without saying a word. She pauses in the hallway as footsteps echo on the stairs.

"Hey, Shiro!" calls Juuzou as he heads past, Hanbee and Nakarai behind him. Shinohara brings up the rear. "Don't worry, your dad will be home soon. I'll take care of him." He winks.

"Will you stab him instead?" asks Nashiro.

Juuzou frowns. Hanbee draws in his breath. Shinohara's eyes widen.

"Shiro, what are you—" Nakarai starts, but Kurona's mind gallops ahead, remembering another place, Kanou, a laugh, her twin, her scream—

"Like you killed my aunt Nashiro?" asks Nashiro.

Kurona freezes. _What is happening?_ _Did she just—how does she know about that?_

Aura sucks in his breath. Tooru appears, followed by Ayato and Hinami, and Higemaru's jaw drops. "No one—" Higemaru begins.

Juuzou looks paler than Kurona's ever seen him.

"What are you talking about?" cries four-year-old Hiroto. "My dad wouldn't kill—"

Juuzou turns and rushes up the stairs, Nakarai barreling after him. Hanbee groans and rubs his face, turning to their son, who looks completely confused. Tears fill Shinohara's eyes as he looks at Nashiro's red face.

"Take it back, Nashiro!" shouts Hiroto, balling up his fists.

"Nashiro, what are you saying?" asks Kurona, her voice cracking. _I don't hate Juuzou anymore. I don't._

_Your important person…_

"He didn't deny it!" shrieks Nashiro, clutching her cheeks. "He should have said—if it was a lie—it's not true, is it, Mom? It's not true!" She bursts into tears. "Don't say it's true!"

"Nashiro—" Kurona's jaw aches. She drops to the ground, reaching for her daughter, who sobs in Kurona's arms, tears soaking Kurona's shirt, and Kurona's sobbing too, because it's been years and she still misses her twin, her laugh, her smile.

 _Where are you?_ Her stomach aches, burning with emptiness.

A door creaks. Urie and Tooru move towards the kids' room, while Kaneki, Touka, Amon, Akira, Seidou, Hide— _everyone_ —pours into the hallway. Except Juuzou and Nakarai. Tamaki and Mikage hover in the back, both of them stricken.

 _What do I even say_? "Who told you this?" croaks Kurona.

"A girl from Ryouko's school," shoots back Nashiro, yanking herself away and turning to Seidou, who kneels next to her. "And Dad—you—you ate your own parents! I thought ghouls weren't monsters! But you—you— _you are!"_

Kurona gasps.

"No! He didn't, he didn't, he didn't!" screams Hiroto. Hanbee grabs him, and Hiroto screams and screams.

"Shit," whispers Arima. Eto's skin looks gray.

Seidou looks as if he's been stabbed. He doubles over, tears pouring down his face. His fist curls.

"You killed cats! And your parents and brother!" screams a voice from inside the day-care room. _Isamu_. "Is that why you didn't want us to get a cat? Because you might kill it? Do you still kill them?"

" _Isamu!"_ bellows Urie.

"You're all liars!" shouts Chiasa.

Tooru stumbles out of the room. He leans against the wall, gulping air, face green, hands clasping air. Kaneki rushes over, grasping him, holding him upright. Shirazu joins to help Tooru stand as tears stream down his face.

The kids start to fan into the hallway.

"You grew up just like that evil clown!" Masanori accuses his mother.

"Masanori, stop!" cries Ui, clutching his face.

"And you sided with him!" Masanori shrieks, face as pink as his hair. Hairu reaches for her son, but Masanori punches her away. She grabs him, and he flails, screeching until she puts him down and looks up at Ui, mouth hanging open and terror in her eyes. Masanori throws himself to the ground and screams.

" _You_ killed my grandfather!" shouts Amon Seidou, glaring at Touka. Touka leaps back. Yuki gapes at his mother.

"Don't yell at her!" Akira chastises her son, but he whirls away from her and turns on his father.

"And you helped kill Ryouko's grandparents! The one she's named after! You talk so much about doing the right thing, and you—you— _murderer!"_

Amon can't even speak. His jaw hangs open, and regret mauls his eyes.

"And you tried to eat Kaneki!" screams Rose at her father. Kurona's never seen Tsukiyama Shuu look this rattled, his face white and his lips flapping, but no words coming out. "And you attacked Tooru, Mom!"

"Rose—" tries Chie. Karren trembles.

"Shut up!"

Emma screams from inside the room, and Karren has to rush in to grab the baby.

"Dad?" cries out Tsukuru. "What are you _saying_ , Rose?"

"You're murderers," Yuki whispers, staring at Touka and Kaneki. "Just like—just like—are you even the good guys? What makes you the good guys if you killed innocent—" He bursts into tears.

"Yuki!" Kaneki grabs his son, and he bawls against Kaneki's shoulder. "We didn't want you—to find out like this—we're _sorry_ —"

"I _hate_ you!" But Yuki doesn't let go.

"You helped Kaneki be tortured!" Ryouko accuses Ayato.

"Ryouko, please!" Hinami cries. Ayato covers his mouth.

"You worked for that torturer!" yells Joji, fists curled as he glares at Naki. "And you—you—hurt Akira—"

"And then you almost killed them!" bellows Masanori, pointing at Ui.

"And you tried to eat Hide!" shrieks Mie at Nishiki, who can only shake his head again and again and again as if that would make it not true.

"And we're still friends," Hide insists, stumbling forward and grabbing Nishiki's shoulder. "We're—"

Tears burn Kurona's face as she cries.

"You tried to kill Juuzou, and Hanbee, and Nakarai and Mikage and Tamaki," chokes out Nashiro, glaring at her. Agony carves Seidou's face and Kurona's stomach.

"Your parents changed!" cries Saiko. "That's what makes them the good guys—they're _sorry_ , and they—we _all_ are—"

"You too?" wails Bing. " _No!_ Mommy!" She yanks at her pigtails in distress. "Daddy?" She looks at Shirazu. "You—too?"

"Your mom was raised like mine and Furuta," snaps Masanori, pointing to Hsiao, whose face contorts as if she's about to vomit.

Fuyumi screams as she rushes to Takeomi and Yoriko.

"He's a killer too!" accuses Masanori, pointing to Takeomi, and Fuyumi turns away from her father and grabs Yoriko.

"You _monster!"_ Nozomi yells, and there it is: the one they've all been dreading. She glares at both her parents. "You didn't want me reading newspapers because you were scared I'd find out, right?"

"Yes, because I'm ashamed of it!" Arima cries.

"An investigator—you were just a murderer! And you—you—terrorist—" She gapes at her mother.

"I knew it was wrong, Nozomi," Arima tries, crouching and reaching for her. Eto shakes her head wildly.

"And you still did it!" Nozomi bellows.

"Isamu—" Tooru pries himself away from Shirazu and reaches for his son. Urie holds his daughter, whose chest heaves with sobs. Urie's crying, too.

"Stay away from me!" screams Isamu, backing up towards the wall. "You hate me!"

Tooru shakes his head, still sobbing loudly. "I—don't—hate you, Isamu. I _love_ you."

Isamu hesitates, and then bursts into tears too, but he can't step towards Tooru, so Urie drops next to him, pulling him closer to himself, to Tooru, to Chiasa.

"You hate me," Isamu keeps repeating. "You have to hate me."

"No matter what," Tooru chokes out. "I'd—we'd— _never_ —hate—any of you."

Hanbee rocks Hiroto back and forth. Kurona sees Amon clenching that cross he always wears, and Akira holding their son. _We can't outrun our sins, can we?_

_Not my daughter. She shouldn't have to pay this price._

"Why?" Nashiro keeps repeating. " _Why?"_

"We were ignorant," Kurona manages. "We didn't—understand—"

"Why, Daddy?" cries Nashiro.

Seidou's still huddled against the wall, and he lifts his head to meet their daughter's eyes.

 _I need you to forget your own guilt for a second, move past it, for the love of God,_ Kurona thinks, gritting her teeth. She can't say anything.

Seidou reaches for his daughter.

"What if you eat me?" Nashiro shouts. "Or Mommy?"

Seidou still grabs her, holding her, and she crumples, this little girl who looks so much like he does, who even looks like his mother, and she throws her arms around his neck and cries into his shirt. "Don't hate me, Daddy."

"I love you," Seidou keeps repeating. "I love you. I love you, Nashiro. I love you."

For the first time in years, Kurona's terrified that love's not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. :/ Up next: more fallout.


	33. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"I hate you," says Nozomi as Arima buckles her into the car.

"Nozomi!" wails Shiono, crying. "Don't say that!"

Arima slams the car door. _She doesn't mean it,_ he tells himself. _Does she?_ It hurts far more than he thought it would, hearing his daughter whom he loves with every inch of his being spew those words at him, and knowing that he can't tell her otherwise.

_Because I hate me, too._

These days, his self-loathing lurks under the surface as something not worth acknowledging, and sometimes he can almost forgive himself because of Nozomi and Shiono. When they snuggle with him or pepper Eto with pleas for a new story, or when he remembers the time he found Nozomi making up her own story to comfort Shiono when he was scared of a thunderstorm, Arima feels like his life might have been worth it after all, because his children, they're good. He hasn't fucked them up.

Except, now he has. He fucked up before they were even born. _I'll never be able to change what I've done._

Eto stands outside the car, her fists clenched and jaw working. Her gaze fixates on the rotting tree across the street.

"Eto," Arima says.

She turns to look at him, and for the first time, Arima sees something like shame etched into her eyes.

"We should go," Arima says, opening the driver's door. Eto nods and climbs into the passenger seat. _Do you regret any of it?_ Arima wonders as he drives. _It was all necessary, wasn't it? Or was it?_

Shiono sobs in the backseat. Nozomi glares at them. "Why did you do it?"

"You're going to have to specify which one of us you're asking," Eto says.

"Both of you!"

Arima slows for a red light.

"You're murderers!" shrieks Nozomi, her words lacerating him. His stomach burns. Shiono shrieks. In the rearview mirror Arima sees him clamp his hands over his ears.

"Nozomi," says Eto, whirling around in her seat. "Stay calm. You're upsetting your brother."

" _I'm_ upset!" Nozomi screams. Eto flinches, and her face breaks.

 _Shit_. Arima wonders if he should pull over. He glances in the rearview mirror again to see Nozomi pressing her fists against her eyes, sobs wracking her small frame. Arima pulls over and turns the car off.

Eto swallows, reaching over the seat and grasping their daughter's knee. "Nozomi."

"I hate you," Nozomi insists.

"And I hated my father," Eto says. "But he loved me. You can keep saying that all you want. We'll still love you."

 _Wow_. Arima's impressed.

"As for why I did it," Eto continues. "Being raised in the 24th ward didn't leave very many options open. My father abandoned me, and ghouls were persecuted—as we still are, but to a far lesser extent. I did what I thought was necessary. I would have given anything and everything to secure a future where ghouls weren't hunted and killed just for being ghouls." Her eyes flash.

"But you'd kill to do it?" cries Nozomi, and Eto blanches.

Her voice comes out a croak. "What's done is done."

"Dad?" Nozomi tries, gulping and gasping, snot and tears running down her face. Arima fumbles for a tissue and uses it to wipe her face. She jerks away.

"I was born a failed half-ghoul," Arima says quietly. "Like Furuta, like Hsiao, like Hairu. I was raised from the beginning to hunt ghouls, but when you know you are part ghoul—I was sick of trying to prove my humanity by killing. Killing takes away your humanity, whether you're killing ghouls or humans. I hated myself—and when I met your mother and defeated her, and she told me what she really wanted—we began working together."

"So you knew what you were doing was bad and you did it anyways?" demands Nozomi.

Arima feels like he's swallowing needles. He nods.

"You killed Touka and Ayato's mom."

"I know. There is no excuse." Because he still made his choices, even if they were a part of a world with so many broken, cruel systems.

"When I said what's done is done," Eto begins, twirling a strand of mint-green hair around her finger. "I meant it, Nozomi, Shiono. But _we're_ not done. Your father and I—we're alive, and we're together, which is something I don't think we thought was possible, and we have you, and as long as we're alive, we can write a different story, a different life."

Nozomi sniffles. Shiono reaches his arms out, and Arima unbuckles him from his carseat, pulling his son onto his lap. Shiono buries his face in Arima's chest.

"What would you think if I did something I knew was wrong?" asks Nozomi. "Would you hate me?"

"I would never, ever hate you," Arima insists.

"My father—never hated me," Eto says.

"You and Shiono," Arima says. "Are the two things I am most proud of in my life. You're both—able to live in a world that isn't going to subject you to the same evils we were subjected to. And you're both good."

"Sometimes," Eto says. "We've all done good and bad things."

"So you wouldn't hate me?" asks Nozomi, biting her lip. Blue hair covers her face.

"No," says Arima. "Never."

Nozomi leans her head against the window. Tears slide down her cheeks.

Arima starts the car again, and they drive home in silence. He helps Shiono out of the car, and his son clings to him. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too," Arima says. Nozomi heads to her room, where she drops onto her bed and stares at the ceiling. Eto wanders to the kitchen, where she brews coffee with a blank look on her face.

Arima sets Shiono down and follows his wife. Eto hands him a steaming mug without a word. He glances down at her phone on the counter to see she's texted Tatara, saying it's urgent to get more news about V.

"We need to find them," Eto says as Arima reads. "The sooner, the better. Before Nozomi starts school. Or the world's going to crumple all around us." She curls her fists again.

Arima nods. "We will."

"I hate feeling like this," says Eto. "I keep seeing my father—and I still hate him and I—hearing Nozomi say that—even though it's understandable, I've never felt worse in my entire life."

"Me neither," Arima whispers. Because unlike when he was acting as a father figure to Kaneki, he isn't thinking he eventually wants them to hate him, to kill him. But they should. _They should hate both of us_.

His own phone lights up. From Kaneki.

A simple heart emoji.

Arima gulps. Eto peers over, and her eyes widen. A smile twitches on her lips.

_You've forgiven me._

_Hell, you've forgiven Eto._

_Hate might be natural, but it doesn't mean it should be that way._ Arima looks at Eto, texting back Tatara, who's promised to ferret out the truth no matter what lengths he has to go to.

 _Don't make things worse,_ Eto says. _Bribe them. Don't torture them._

"Wow," says Arima. "I'm impressed."

"I feel like Nozomi and Shiono are shoulder angels," Eto grumbles.

Arima snorts. He wraps his arms around Eto, resting his head on hers. "I love you."

She inhales. "I love you, too."

Shiono toddles into the room, looking up at them with his eyes, Eto's eyes, Ukina's eyes, round and shining. Eto crouches down, taking their son in her arms. Arima heads into Nozomi's room, where she sobs into her pillow, long blue strands spread out wildly around her.

Arima climbs onto the bed next to her. Tears run down his own face. He wraps an arm around his daughter. Words stick like glue in his chest. "I'm sorry." He doesn't know what else to say. "We're—trying to fix things now, do what we can—make the world better—that's all you can do after you've messed up and you can't fix it. The things your mother and I did—they're not the same as when Shiono takes your toy and he can give it back. We can't give lives back, but we can try—to make sure no one else loses theirs. Ghoul, or human." He squeezes his eyes together. It's only been since Shiono's birth that Yomo hasn't narrowed his eyes whenever Arima walks into the room. "You don't have to forgive us unless you want to."

Nozomi rolls over. "What if I don't want to?"

"We'd be sad," says Arima, wiping at his eyes. Nozomi's jaw falls open when she sees that he's crying. "And I still love you." _Just like Yoshimura loved Eto_.

"My father left me one good legacy," says Eto from the doorway, Shiono on her hip.

* * *

"Is it really true?" whispers Ruri as they walk home. Her arms wrap around Naki's neck.

"It's true," Miza confirms, her voice flat.

Naki scowls. He doesn't understand why it's such a big deal. But the kids were completely falling apart back at Goat. If that's what the kids are like at school, Naki's not sure he wants Joji going. He always thought school was a fun place, a nice place to learn, not a place where kids fought with each other and said mean things about each other's parents and hurt them with words.

_Maybe humans and ghouls aren't so different after all._

Ruri squirms. "I want to walk!" Her elbow slams into Naki's throat. He gasps.

"Careful, Ruri," snaps Miza as their daughter scrambles down. She glares back up at them, her blond hair in pigtails. Joji walks next to Miza with his arms wrapped around himself, head slumped to where his chin's scraping his chest.

They arrive at their apartment, and Miza heads to the fridge to get the meat ready. Though if these shots Kimi's given them are working, they might be able to eat human food soon enough. Naki wonders if it'll be worth it though. What if cake just tastes like slime after all?

" _Some humans don't like it," Kimi even said when he asked her. "Everyone has different tastes. Most like it, though. I do."_

Naki can't understand what that would be like. He pinches his tongue.

"Dinner," Miza says, her voice flat.

Joji takes one look at the human arm—even if it was just the arm of a man who was already dead and whose body no one claimed—and screams. He grabs the arm and throws it onto the floor.

"Hey!" Naki shouts.

Salmon-colored hair flying around, Joji grabs a stack of books on the nearby table and throws them to the floor. He kicks one.

"Stop!" Naki shrieks as his son's foot tears one of the book's pages. Joji stomps on his fingers and Naki curses. "Ow!"

Joji snatches several mugs and hurls them to the ground too. The glass shatters. Ruri wails, clamping her hands over her ears. Joji freezes, sucking in air, his eyes glistening.

"Are you done?" Miza demands, folding her arms. "You're scaring your sister."

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't all murderers!"

"You always have a choice, Joji," Miza snaps.

 _Murderer?_ Naki gapes at his son. _I needed—food!_

Joji turns to run towards his room.

"Nope," says Miza. "Naki—"

He lunges and grabs his son, who tries to kick him. Naki holds him out in the arm. Joji flails, smearing blood on Naki's white suit. _Miza can get it out,_ Naki tells himself. He hopes.

"I want to go to my room!" Joji screams.

"I don't care what you want! We're having a family meeting _now!"_ yells Miza.

"What's that?" asks Naki.

"We're all talking," Miza says. "Now." She gets that look in her eyes that sets Naki's stomach on fire, like her eyes are smoldering embers that will burn anything she sets her gaze too. He instantly grabs Ruri's hand and leads her over to the couch, setting her down next to him. He would put her on his lap like usual, but she's still scowling.

"Sit in the armchair," Miza orders.

Joji obeys. See, even the kids know not to mess with Miza when she's angry.

"Joji," says Miza. "Making sure your parents and sister go hungry is not going to make you feel better."

"That's a person!"

"And you've eaten plenty of them before," Miza says sharply.

"They were already dead," offers Naki. "We didn't kill him."

Joji wraps his arms around himself, knees against his chest. "I hate being a ghoul."

"Don't say that!" Naki erupts. "We're just—we're—" The whole point of Goat is that they shouldn't have to be ashamed of what they were born as, they can be proud, they're just as much a person as a human is—

"You've known we have to eat people for years, and you've eaten them without complaint, so why—" Miza starts.

"My heroes are murderers!" screams Joji. "You—you're all—"

Naki's heart lifts. "I'm your hero?"

Joji glowers at him. "All of you—at Goat—you're all just—killers."

"But you knew that," says Miza. "We've told you about being persecuted for being ghouls—"

"But you all—everyone killed or hurt someone you work with now! Why were you—how could you—" Joji gulps. "You and Kaneki and Yomo and Amon and Juuzou—Goat is just made of murderers."

"Look, Joji," interrupts Naki. "Back in my day, being a ghoul meant you killed and you didn't get to go to school and you didn't have a choice."

"Didn't Mom say you always have a choice?" Joji shoots back.

 _My son's smart._ Naki smiles. "When it's kill or starve, you'd be surprised what you'd do. We wanted to survive. There's nothing wrong with wanting to live. But the reason we've got choices now is because of Kaneki, and now Yomo and Amon and Suzuya—and Goat. Ghouls have rights now and it's all thanks to them. And we've been working so ghouls don't have to kill people, and Kimi's science might help us be able to digest human food too, soon enough. I don't know how the hell this science stuff works but Kimi does and you'll learn about it at school, and the reason you're going is—" He waits.

Joji frowns.

"Is?" Naki prompts.

"Goat," supplies Ruri.

"Very good."

"We don't want to kill anymore," Miza says, and her voice cracks. Naki's heart pounds. "People can change."

"And no one's completely evil," says Naki. "Yamori was like a dad to me, and he gave me gifts, and didn't think I was stupid when everyone else did—but he did bad things to Kaneki and hurt him." _He was still good to me_. And for that Naki loves him, and he always will.

Tears slide down Joji's cheeks. He wipes them away.

"It's okay to cry," says Naki. Tears fill his own eyes. "I don't like seeing you sad. I'm sorry, Joji, Ruri."

Ruri wriggles back onto his lap, and Joji lets Miza wrap him in a hug.

After the kids go to bed—though Naki doubts to sleep—Miza asks if they should skip work in the morning. Apparently Arima and Eto texted that they were taking the next day off.

"No," says Naki. "We can't. We gotta guard Furuta."

"We've got to find out what he knows," says Miza. "Or we'll all be, at best, murderers, and at worst, dead."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the pain! Up next: Furuta escapes and Juuzou uncovers the truth about just how he managed to escape.


	34. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

He wakes up with his eyelids stuck together. Furuta rolls over, staring blankly at the ceiling.

He doubts anyone will come to interrogate him today. They'll have too much drama to deal with. Those kids weren't okay when Furuta told them.

_This is what you get for concealing the truth._

Yuki burst into tears when Furuta told him what his parents had done. So did Chiasa, and Nashiro, and Seidou and Isamu, and a damp feeling settled in Furuta's abdomen that he couldn't shake off. He wanted them to cry, wanted to stab their parents in any way he could, but the way Yuki's face dissolved and he still tried to muffle the sound of his sobs so Furuta wouldn't get killed left him feeling strange, peeled back like he hadn't felt since h realizes Rize trampled on the freedom he gave her.

He remembers Ryouko's dumb question. _Did someone hurt you?_

_Everyone. Your parents most of all._

He curls his fist.

When Ryouko urged them all to leave and Furuta helped them climb out through the air vent, Ryouko passed him the RC suppressant even though her complexion looked gray. It sits under his pillow now.

 _No one in this world is innocent. Your attempts to keep them that way is what hurt them,_ Furuta thinks bitterly. _Stupid Kaneki. Ui, Urie, Suzuya, all of you—_

He hears voices outside the cell and stiffens. His fingers clench around the bottle.

 _Not now._ Maybe he'll get to see what's happened—the kids surely won't keep quiet about it. Maybe they'll kill him and—

Naki swings the door open, glowering at Furuta.

"Come to kill me?" he asks.

"Not yet, unfortunately," Naki snaps. "Here's your food." He drops a plate on the floor.

 _I'm guessing you aren't thrilled with what Joji knows?_ Furuta's hand roves behind him for the bottle again. He needs Miza to show up—

And there she is.

"Any new threats?" Furuta asks. He needs them to come closer. He needs to lock them in this cell. _See how you like it._ "V-Reformed killing anyone else?"

Miza pales.

"No one's dead? Or just threats?" Furuta chuckles. "Kaneki better invest in some good guards—shame he's wasting the two of you—"

"He has Arima," Naki snarls. "Don't you dare insult him!" He takes several steps forward, teeth out.

 _Got you. Come a little closer._ For whatever reason, when his heart hammers inside his chest, it feels as if it's sticking to his ribs and ripping little pieces off. He clutches his chest.

"You're not sick, so don't even feign that," Miza snaps.

He glares at her. _I could be dying and you wouldn't believe me._ "It'd make a lot more sense for V to go after their kids, wouldn't it? That would be even worse for Touka and Kaneki, can you imagine—"

Naki snaps, charging towards Furuta. He whips out the suppressant and sprays.

Naki howls. Miza lunges, but Furuta dodges her and hits her in the face. He scrambles out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

_At least they aren't stupid enough to think that V won't try to go after their kids._

He skids to a stop outside the house, the sun scalding his hair, his skin, his eyes. It's been years. _Freedom._

_I'll use it better than you did, Rize._

* * *

"What the hell?" screams Nakarai into his phone. "Suzuya! Abara!"

Juuzou's been slumped over his desk, mind still replaying Nashiro's accusation from the day before. Most of Goat—well, most of the parents—took the day off. Hiroto went to bed without protest the night before, and instead of feeling relieved, Juuzou found himself sitting outside his son's room in agony. _Don't hate me, please._

" _It'll work out," Shinohara assured him, showing up because he knew Juuzou shouldn't be left alone. Hanbee held Juuzou's hand, silent but still with him.  
_

_Juuzou shook his head. "They'll be—"_

" _They'll accept it in good time," Shinohara told him. "And move on from there. And no matter what kind of things the kids say to their parents, they'll love them."_

 _You love me no matter what I've done,_ Juuzou knows. And he loves Hiroto no matter what. Hiroto didn't speak in the morning, and Hanbee gave Hiroto breakfast while Juuzou watched from the corner, stomach rejecting the notion of food and brain scrambling to come up with words to offer Hiroto, but he had none.

"What now?" ekes out Hanbee.

" _Furuta's escaped!"_

Juuzou levitates out of his chair. _I can't deal with this right now!_ "What the—"

"Miza's on the phone and she says he sprayed an RC suppressant at them and locked them in his cell!"

"Are they hurt?" shouts Hanbee. "How long ago?"

"Twenty minutes! Are you okay?" Nakarai bellows into the phone. "They're fine."

"Go get them!" shouts Juuzou. "Tamaki, Mikage, go to the house—Nakarai and 0 Squad, Aura and Higemaru, Nagachika and Hirako, Koma and Irimi, we all split into groups of search the area. Hori, start gathering security camera footage. Yomo and Marude, call the prime minister. Hanbee, you're with me." He barks out orders for which area they'll be searching. "Shinohara—"

"I'll stay with you," he confirms.

"Do we need our quinques?" asks Hanbee.

"Yes." Though he's not thrilled with having to use them again. But Furuta's too dangerous. He sends a text to the group. _Miza & Naki are fine but Furuta escaped._ And then he silences that group chat because he doesn't want to have to deal with the panic. He thinks of Hiroto, over Shinohara's house being cared for by Shinohara's wife, and his heart pains him. He wants nothing more than to go home and hold Hiroto like the day he found him, when he just knew that Hiroto was meant to be his son.

_But I have to work. I have to protect him. He's not losing another set of parents.  
_

Combing the streets produces nothing. Nakarai gets access to the security cameras of local businesses and shops. Juuzou returns to Goat with Hanbee to comb through the dozens of cameras inside the house.

"But how did he even get suppressant?" shouts Mikage. "Someone would have to have given it to him—"

"Are you suggesting we have a traitor here?" snaps Shio.

Everyone's gaze turns to Uta, who's arrived to help comb through hours and hours of camera footage.

"I've never been in that house," Uta snaps, folding his arms. He turns to Yomo. "You don't—"

"I know you didn't," Yomo replies. Uta's face relaxes.

"I can't imagine how he got it," Miza moans. "We never kept any canisters around him."

"Amon says the government's orders are to shoot on sight," reports Tamaki. He swallows. "And he's giving us twenty-four hours before informing the media, and he says not to let him down."

Juuzou groans. "We need more eyes."

"I'll ask them," Hanbee says quickly. "Maybe Mirumo and his servants can come and watch the kids in the day-care room."

"Ask Tsukiyama," Juuzou instructs. His heart pounds. _Last time Furuta was free…_

_I am not letting him kidnap any of these kids._

He glares at his quinque. _I am not his puppet. I will catch him._

"Can I be of assistance?" asks Itori, flitting into the room.

"Yes," says Juuzou. "Watch security cameras at train stations." He heads back over to the house with Hanbee and the rest of his squad, where they pull up some of the imagery on their computer screens. Combing through footage for evidence is never even remotely exciting. It's tedious and dull. But if it can save Goat…

_We've worked so hard._

_I don't want it to all come crashing down._

Hanbee works through that day's footage while Juuzou takes yesterday's. Nakarai takes the day before that's, and so on. After an hour or so, Juuzou feels as if his eyeballs are melting and dribbling out of his skull. _Help_.

 _Bring coffee_ , he texts Touka.

"Um, Juuzou?" Hanbee says, peering over his shoulder. He wrings his hands.

Juuzou frowns. "Are you okay?"

"I think I—I think I found out how—how Furuta got the RC suppressant," Hanbee stammers. "But—"

"But what?" Juuzou demands, leaping to his feet. Nakarai stands too, dropping his headphones. Tamaki and Mikage follow. Shinohara frowns.

"It's not—good," Hanbee says, swallowing.

"Well, of course it's not," snaps Nakarai. "We—"

"No—I mean—it's _really_ not good," Hanbee insists. Is that sweat shining on his forehead?

"What happened, Hanbee?" asks Shinohara.

Juuzou marches over to the computer. "Show us."

Hanbee gulps and presses play. He covers his face.

"You should be looking!" snaps Nakarai.

Juuzou's jaw drops. Someone falls from the air vent. Two—three— _how many?_

_Yuki?_

"Oh shit," says Tamaki.

Shinohara gapes. "This can't be—"

"Well," says Mikage. "Now we know that it probably wasn't a classmate of Ryouko's who told them all of our dirty secrets."

 _Furuta—told them? And hurt my son?_ At least Hiroto isn't on the screen.

"How did no one notice?" screeches Nakarai, clutching his face. "This is—really fucking bad!"

"Yup, they handed over the suppressant," confirms Tamaki with a shudder as he watches the tape.

"What days did they do treasure hunts?" Juuzou demands. "And what times? We need to find the rest of that footage." _How many times did they go to see him? And why?_

_Hiroto, did you know?_

"He must have manipulated them like hell," whispers Mikage.

"Who knows what else they told him?" laments Tamaki. " _God."_

"No one breathes a word!" Juuzou barks. "Not until we've at least seen footage of all their visits, okay?"

"They're just kids," Hanbee says. "They wouldn't have known what they were doing."

" _No matter what kind of things the kids say to their parents, they'll love them."_

 _Even this._ Juuzou's heart aches. He still loves these kids.

Shinohara places his hand on Juuzou's shoulder. He watches as Yuki and Isamu start to cry in the footage. Clearly Furuta just told them something upsetting. _You bastard._

"We have to kill him," vows Nakarai, slamming his fist into the chair.

Nozomi shakes her head wildly in the footage, pointing a finger and yelling.

"Their parents are going to be so angry," Hanbee says unhappily. He glances back at Juuzou as Nakarai's lips curl, as if afraid that Juuzou will think him too soft.

Juuzou remembers a knife in his hand, and blood.

_They're just kids._

_Is that how you felt when you saw me, Shinohara?_

"They'll still love them," Juuzou says at last, biting his lip. Shinohara exhales and nods.

"If we tell, their parents are not going to be able to help comb through footage anymore," warns Nakarai.

"This is kind of important, Keijin!" Hanbee cries out. He looks at Juuzou, desperate. "Even if I don't want them to get in trouble, their parents need to know—they might know something—they're just kids."

_You really care about them, don't you? Even if they've apparently screwed up everything we've been working towards._

Juuzou cares, too. He nods at Hanbee and puts his hand on his shoulder. "We need to tell everyone," Juuzou says, heaving a sigh. "But we should give the kids a chance to confess first."

* * *

Kimi gets Nishiki's text as she crams her lunch into her mouth. _What?_

_He escaped?_

_How?_

She spits out her mouth of rice and vegetables. Her heart pounds. _Mie—_

It's already been a tense past day for their family. When Nishiki and Mie arrived home yesterday, both of them had tear tracks running down their faces, and Mie accused her of cruel experimentation on humans and ghouls. _"You worked with that evil doctor man!"_

" _I don't know how they found out," Nishiki told her, shoulders slumping in shame. "Some brat from school must have—everyone's distraught."_

_Kimi pulled out her phone to check the group chat. "How are other people handling this?" Her throat closed._

My daughter thinks I'm a monster.

_The thought scalded her._

" _I don't think any of us have ever been so ashamed in our whole lives," Nishiki admitted. "Tooru was devastated."_

" _Mie," Kimi called, her heart aching for people like Tooru and Ayato and Takizawa, who undoubtedly have darker histories to explain. "Mie, open your door, please."_

I can't force her to do it.

But please, baby, open your door.

_Her daughter left it shut._

_A knock resounded on their apartment door, and Nishiki swung it open to reveal a grim-faced Hide. "I thought you might need the help."_

_Nishiki gaped at him. "You actually came?"_

" _Why not? I love Mie. And you guys aren't half-bad either." Hide blew out his breath. "What a fucking mess."_

_Kimi nodded._

_Hide went and knocked on Mie's door, and she finally opened it. It took all of Kimi's self-control not to run in herself, explain things, listen to what Hide was saying. Nishiki pressed his fists against his eye sockets, chest shuddering._

Seidou's talking to Shiro, _Kurona texted._ Juuzou, it might be good if she can talk to you too later. Not tonight though.

He's pretty upset, _Hanbee responded._ So is Hiroto. Not with Shiro though.

Buy them ice cream? _suggested Shio._

Ice cream isn't going to fix this, _Juuzou finally responded._

 _Nothing can,_ _Kimi thought_. The dead are dead, the wounds are already inflicted. We can't change that.

But we've moved past it.

_Neither of them ever planned not to tell Mie. No one in Goat planned to keep everything a secret, but they planned to give them age-appropriate information. Until this schoolgirl ruined everything._

_Hide finally emerged from Mie's room. He offered them a sad smile. "She said it's okay if you go and talk to her now."_

" _What did you say to her?" asked Nishiki, getting to his feet._

" _Just that I chose to forgive you, and now we're buds." Hide rolled his eyes. "Bad people don't have to stay bad if they don't want to."_

_Kimi and Nishiki both entered Mie's room, and instead of saying anything, they just held her. And then they apologized, both of them, because the hurts they inflicted are still out there, still cutting and bruising._

_I never thought it would affect my child._

_And now it's not over,_ Kimi thinks. He's out there. Free. Again.

Freedom for him means a prison for Kimi.

 _Can you come to Goat?_ Nishiki requests.

 _On my way,_ she replies. She claims a family emergency and rushes off to Goat, biting her tongue to keep from yelling at the bus driver to drive faster. The sun warms the windows, and Kimi presses her forehead against it. The smell of exhaust chokes her.

She remembers losing her family in that awful car accident.

_I'm not going to lose Mie. I'm not going to lose anyone anymore._

_Please._

When she arrives, Nishiki rushes towards her, kissing her.

"Where's Mie?"

"Mirumo and some of the servants are watching the kids." Nishiki bites his lip. "We didn't tell them what's going on, but we're going to have to."

"Unless we find him within the next few hours," grumbles Urie as he rushes by.

"Can you help look at video cameras?" Nishiki asks. "We spotted him heading towards a bus stop, and we've tracked the bus and are looking at footage from the 24th ward now."

Kimi nods. The door opens, and Juuzou and his squad appear. Shinohara's wife appears behind them, and Juuzou turns towards his son, eyes hopeful. Hiroto hesitates, and then runs towards Juuzou, whose face breaks as he scoops him up. Juuzou's fingers dig into his son's hair, pressing him close.

"Anything?" Nishiki asks as Hanbee locks the door behind him. His head hangs, long hair covering his face as he studies his shoes. Shinohara exhales, crossing his arms.

"Um," says Juuzou as Mikage gulps. "Yes. We found—some things."

"Like how the hell he got the RC suppressant?" demands Urie.

"Yes. Like how the hell he got the RC suppressant," Juuzou says dully. "I'll tell you all in a few minutes."

"Have you told the kids what's going on yet?" asks Nakarai. The dim lighting of the stairwell obscures his face.

Nishiki shakes his head. "We probably should, but we—don't want to worry them. Especially after yesterday."

"Telling the truth is probably the best bet, though," mumbles Urie.

"I agree," says Juuzou. "Why don't you—all of Goat—have a meeting with the kids?"

"To tell them what happened?" asks Kimi.

Juuzou nods. Hiroto squirms down and Juuzou tugs at his hair. "That way…"

"They can ask questions," Nakarai supplies. Tamaki glares at him.

"I'll get the kids," Urie says. "Nishiki, you coming?"

"My eyes need a break," Nishiki admits. "Kimi, you should go upstairs—Yomo or Amon can give you instructions for after our meeting."

Kimi nods and jogs up the stairs. Amon quickly hands her a laptop with access to two security cameras, one for a small shop and one for a coffee store.

"Attention everybody!" bellows Juuzou, leaping up on his desk and sending papers scattering. Hanbee scrambles to gather them. "We're having a meeting in fifteen minutes. With your kids. They need to be told that Furuta escaped, and I'm not taking _ifs_ or _ands_ or _buts_ about it."

"It might be good to tell some of them privately!" Hairu hollers.

Juuzou doesn't respond. Hanbee hurries after him, into the conference room. _Weird_. Kimi clenches her fists. Within fifteen minutes, Urie, Nishiki, and Mirumo usher all the kids up and into the conference room, which is crowded with people. Mie rushes over to Kimi, but Mie refuses to hug her. Kimi sighs.

"Do we have news?" calls Naki, his face red with fury that Furuta escaped on his watch.

"Did something bad happen?" whispers Rose.

"Yeah, something pretty terrible happened," says Nakarai. Shinohara swallows. Hiroto rushes over and grabs Shinohara's leg.

"Nakarai!" warns Juuzou. Hanbee hangs his head. "Furuta, the evil clown, escaped by using an RC suppressant to knock out Miza and Naki, though as you can see, thankfully, they're okay and weren't killed."

"No!" shrieks Joji. Yuki's jaw drops and he looks up at Kaneki and Touka as if they'll assure him it's not true. Rose claps her hands to her face. Nashiro shrinks behind Takizawa's legs. Ryouko shakes her head in terror. Isamu and Chiasa reach for each other's hands, and Masanori stiffens. Seidou wraps his arms around himself, his head dropping to his chest. Mie starts to cry. Nozomi's jaw hangs open in shock. Her eyes slide to her parents.

"You'll catch him, right?" yells Bing.

"Of course they will," mumbles Fuyumi, safe in Takeomi's arms.

"It's okay, Mie," Kimi tries to reassure her, kneeling and putting her arms around her daughter. Mie collapses against her.

"Okay, kids," says Juuzou. " _Excluding_ Bing, Akito, Fuyumi, Tsukuru, Ruri, Shiono, of course Emma, and thankfully Hiroto." He steps to the center of the room and looks each one of them in the eyes.

A chill runs through Kimi.

"Do you want to tell your parents what you did?" prompts Juuzou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...any predictions on what the parents' reactions will be?


	35. Kill the Clown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

"Do you want to tell your parents what you did?" prompts Juuzou.

 _What_ you _did?_

 _What… the kids did?_ Amon frowns and looks down at his son. _What did they do?_ The boy's shaking. Akira's brow pinches.

"No?" offers Masanori in answer. Ui's eyebrows draw together.

" _No?"_ asks Juuzou, spinning around to frown at him. The pink-haired boy takes a step back, looking up at Ui and Hairu in terror.

"I'm sorry!" shrieks Ryouko. "We didn't—he—"

"What are you talking about, Ryouko?" cries Ayato.

Amon's head spins. His son bursts into tears, and Amon doesn't understand what the hell is happening.

"We just wanted to ask—him—a question," sobs Ryouko. "And then—he was nice—"

"I stole the suppressant—he said he wanted—to be human like you with your medication!" wails Nashiro.

_He—Furuta?_

_Our—kids?_

_Our children helped Furuta escape?_

_How? Why? What the hell?  
_

"What?" yelps Seidou. "Nashiro—you didn't—"

"He was a clown," sobs Yuki. "He was nice."

Even Uta's jaw hangs open in shock. Yomo covers his face.

"Were we not clowns enough for you?" Itori shrieks.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" demands Hsiao.

"Not _your_ daughter," Juuzou reminds her. Saiko heaves a sigh of relief. Shirazu pats Bing on the head.

"I knew though," admits Bing, sticking her thumb in her mouth. "We all did."

"Shit!" curses Shirazu.

There's a crash. Amon spins to see Kaneki on the floor, apparently having fainted.

"Wake up!" yells Touka. "You don't get to do this to me, Ken! Wake the _fuck_ up!"

"You said a bad word!" gasps Yuki, appalled.

"I'm sorry!" cries Seidou, looking up at Amon in fear. "Daddy—I'm—"

Chaos erupts. Urie rages while Tooru yanks his knives out, Kurona rushes out of the room claiming that she needs some air, and Tsukiyama and Karren gawp at Rose. Takeomi shakes his head, and Urie turns purple.

"They said they were just asking questions!" insists Fuyumi, and Yoriko starts sobbing. Takeomi almost drops his daughter in shock.

"I hacked in and froze the cameras," Rose confesses. "I thought—I didn't think it would be—they were still recording but you wouldn't be able to see it on the screen at the time—"

Chie can't even take a photograph. Her skin looks gray.

"They're just kids!" exclaims Mirumo.

 _This can't be happening_. Amon feels like he can't breathe. _My child helped the monster who had tried to kill us all numerous times escape prison?_ My _sweet son?_

Akira shakes her head. "Seidou—you—"

He huddles in on himself, crying. Amon grabs his son. "Do you understand what you've done?"

His son can't even look him in the eyes. He tries to shake his head, and then nod.

"Come here," Amon croaks, voice breaking as he pulls his son closer. _I love you. No matter what._

_But my God, you are in so much fucking trouble._

"Did he hurt you?" Tooru cries out, grasping Chiasa's shoulders.

"No, he was actually pretty fun," admits Chiasa. "He braided my hair. And Nozomi's."

 _"What?"_ shrieks Urie.

"This can't be real!" shrieks Naki, clutching his skull and bawling. "Joji—you wouldn't—"

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Miza cries.

"I didn't think he would hurt you!" sobs Joji. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"We have to find him," Akira declares. Her fist curls. "And kill him."

"Get in line," Urie says grimly, holding his son while Tooru holds their daughter, now that Aura's removed the knives from Tooru's hands. "I'm going to make that bastard pay for this."

"I'll help," chirps Higemaru.

"Are you mad at me?" whimpers Masanori.

"I'm not thrilled," Hairu replies, blowing out her breath. Ui rocks back and forth, looking as if all his bones have dissolved into jelly and he's about to melt onto the floor in a puddle.

"You're a kid," Ayato tells his daughter. "You didn't—he—that—" His kakugans emerge. Hinami's follow suit.

"I will tear his limbs off," vows Nishiki.

"We do have kill on sight orders," Touka says as Kaneki finally sits back up, a blotch on his forehead and a look of horror on his face.

"I'm sorry, Daddy!" bawls Yuki.

"Is this really happening?" demands Hirako, rubbing his forehead. Shio, Rikai, and Yusa all stand next to each other, wearing identical expressions of bewilderment.

"Sadly, yes," Shinohara answers. "Yes, it is."

A roar rips through the room, and Amon turns to see Eto's kakuja form emerging and Eto racing towards the window. "No, Eto!" shouts Arima, trying to grab his wife. "You can't tear through the streets of Tokyo!"

"I will kill him!" vows Eto. "Bake him into a pâté—like he did to Shiono—"

"What?" shrieks Shiono. Nozomi clutches her little brother.

"Your namesake," Eto spits.

"I'm sorry!" Nozomi yells. "Please don't—you said you would still love me—"

Arima lets go of Eto, whirling around. "You're not to blame."

"You're not," agrees Eto, her kakuja form dissolving. Her lips pucker as if she's going to be sick.

"I knew too," mumbles Hiroto, looking up at Juuzou and Hanbee with his eyes bright. Hanbee bursts into tears. Juuzou hesitates, and then crouches down, opening his arms up. Hiroto dives into them, sobbing.

"We have to find him right away—who knows what else he knows?" Karren shouts. Emma shrieks and she bounces her even as Shuu's kagune emerges and wraps around one arm. With his other arm, he pulls Rose close.

"No, Daddy, don't hurt the clown!" Yuki protests. "He—"

"Hurt Naki and Miza and could have killed you!" barks Kaneki.

"Daddy—" tries Masanori.

"Daddy has to hurt the clown," Ui tells his son, glaring down. "Daddy is going to _kill_ the clown."

"So is Mommy," declares Hairu. "I'll help you, Eto."

"Do you hate me?" wails Masanori. "It was my idea."

Ui blanches. "Of course I don't hate you—I'd _never_ hate you."

Seidou's tears soak Amon's shirt. Akira's crying too, now. _That monster hurt my family again._ Amon grits his teeth. _He needs to be wiped out._

"Sorry I didn't say anything," whispers Isamu. Urie gulps.

"I didn't think it was dangerous," admits Hiroto. He looks up at Hanbee, who pulls him into an embrace too. Juuzou's hand rests on Hitoro's head.

"Okay," Juuzou says. "Mirumo, baby-sitters, servants, whatever you are, I want you to take care of the kids—everyone else, you can see your kids soon, but I want to play the videos for you first."

"My son's staying here," Akira snaps.

 _Now all the recent nightmares make sense._ Amon's stomach churns. _How could we not have pressed the issue?_

_Am I as bad at parenting as Donato?_

"Fine," says Juuzou, and he clicks on the large TV in the corner. "Hanbee, shut the drapes."

Hanbee obeys, casting sympathetic glances at the kids. His hand brushes Nashiro's shoulder as Seidou holds her. Kurona comes back into the room, face ashen and covered in sweat.

The cameras weren't capable of recording sound, but through the footage from day that man threw curry on Akira, Amon can see five of their kids slipping into Furuta's cell through the air vent. And Yuki _hugging_ him.

"I've never seen that expression on Furuta's face before," Uta comments. Everyone glowers at him and when he sees the next day's footage, which includes Yuki painting clown makeup on Furuta's face, Uta grows pale. "I had no idea that was what he wanted it for!"

Touka groans. "Yuki—"

The boy just cries. "He was funny. He was nice. He paid us attention."

Those words hit Amon in the gut. He sucks in his breath. _Have we been too distracted this past month?_

The next footage comes with Furuta braiding Chiasa's hair, and Urie looks as if he could go full kakuja again. Furuta takes Nozomi's hair next, and Arima is so enraged he starts hissing.

"I had no idea," whispers Irimi. "I never would have let them do that treasure hunt if—"

"This is bad," Takeomi moans. Urie scowls even deeper.

The footage from Furuta telling them about their parents' sins—at least that's what Amon presumes it is—makes Amon's head smart in pain. Watching all of the kids break down, the moment they heard what they'd done— _we're so sorry, too._

_Why?_

_Where did we go wrong?_

_They're still here_ , Amon reminds himself, his son warm against his side. _They're all still here and still okay._

_We'll make sure it stays that way._

He just never imagined he'd have to interrogate his own son.

* * *

"Why are they going down the wrong path?" whispers Ayato. He still can't believe this. "I don't want them to repeat my mistakes!"

"At least we caught them young," Hinami offers. Ryouko's asleep in the daycare room, and they're all gulping coffee as they try to track where Furuta might be headed. Ayato hasn't felt despair like this in years. It's black, sticky, like tar.

"I can't believe this," Kaneki ekes out. "Should we have discouraged his love of clowns?"

"I don't think that would have made a difference," Touka points out as she sidles up next to him. "They said they wanted to ask Furuta a question about why he was responsible for their existence."

"Which he didn't even answer, and that's the one thing I'm thankful for," Ayato says with a scowl.

"Calm down," Yomo advises. "You two have made plenty of decisions that have been more or less agonizing for me."

"Can confirm," Uta says. Itori smirks.

"Hey!" Ayato shouts. Touka scowls.

"He manipulated them," Hinami says. "They're just kids—they think the world is a lot more innocent than it is." Her voice breaks.

Ayato buries his face in his hands.

"Explaining this to the prime minister should be fun," Kaneki says blankly, staring at the wall. His coffee cup sits steaming in his hands, but he can't raise it to his lips.

"Drink," orders Touka. "Please, Ken."

"Did you guys remember to take your medication?" asks Hide, prying himself away from the computer and rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah," Ayato mumbles. A ghoul, trying to eat like a human.

Is it really any different than a diabetic taking insulin to survive, or Tooru taking psychiatric medication? _We just want to be better._

He wonders what his father would think of this. He'd probably be thrilled to be able to live peacefully, eat human food, and never have to hurt anyone.

But the world still hurt his daughter.

"We need to find him," Kaneki croaks, finally moving the coffee cup up to his lips. He chokes.

"Don't die, please," Touka requests.

"Not trying to," Kaneki answers, honestly for once. Touka leans her head on his shoulder.

" _What made you do this?" Hinami questioned earlier, Akito asleep on her lap._

" _I just wanted to see for myself if he really is as evil as you said he is," Ryouko replied, tugging on her pigtails._

Oh God _, Ayato thought._ She is definitely my child.

"Did they feel lonely?" wonders Hinami. "Because we've been so busy?"

"Maybe," says Ayato. "I mean, some of them have said as much, but they also should learn that they can't be the center of attention a hundred percent of the time."

"Fair enough," Hide acknowledges.

"I'll go check on them," Hinami says, prying herself to her feet.

"So will I," Ayato says.

"Banjou's on his way," Touka reports. "Thankfully. Another set of eyes."

Ayato takes Hinami's hand as they head down the stairs and into the small daycare room, now covered in blankets in makeshift beds. Mirumo smiles tiredly at them, reading in a corner. Hinami heads over to Akito, and Ayato notices Ryouko stirring, blinking up at him. "Daddy?"

"Hey sweetheart," Ayato says, dropping down next to her.

"Did you find him yet?"

"No," Ayato says, smoothing her tangled hair, his hair, as he pulls her against his chest. "But we will."

"Why did he lie to us?"

Ayato grits his teeth. _Because he's a two-faced bastard psychopath who only want to use people to feel good about himself and you walked right into his trap because you're too good of a person_. "Because he's desperate," Ayato says instead.

"He seemed to know what he did was wrong."

"Maybe," says Ayato, heart pounding. "But that doesn't mean that he cares."

"Huh?" Ryouko squints.

 _I care._ "I'm ashamed of… the things I did when I worked for Aogiri," Ayato says bluntly. "The things Furuta told you about."

"Oh." Ryouko sniffles. "He won't hurt you, right?"

Ayato hesitates. "Ryouko, he'll probably try."

Tears stream down his daughter's cheek. Ayato wipes them away. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are," Ayato tells her. "And I forgive you. Like Uncle Kaneki forgave me when I worked for Aogiri."

Ryouko curls herself up against him, clinging to him as if she's afraid he'll leave, as if she's afraid Furuta will drop down from an air vent and kill him right here.

 _I won't leave you,_ Ayato thinks, remembering his own father. _No matter what happens, no matter what you've done_.

* * *

"Why couldn't we have had a dumb child?" wonders Seidou.

"Hey!" Kurona jabs him with her elbow. "You can't say that, Seidou!"

"At least we know she'll get top scores in school," he continues, even as he feels sick inside. Nashiro really didn't understand the gravity of what she was doing. None of the kids did.

Kurona moans. "Do you have to be like this?"

"Frankly I appreciate that he's trying to make us laugh," Amon remarks, staring into his coffee cup like it's a dark void he could plunge into. "Because otherwise I feel sick."

Akira sighs.

"I'm not even mad at them," Juuzou states, absently folding a paper airplane as he squints at a screen. "I can't be. They're kids."

"If you have to tell the prime minister—assuming we don't find him in—oh, how long do we have now?" says Seidou. "I'll take the blame."

"No, you won't," Akira shoots back, leaping to her feet and slamming her hands down on her desk. "Kuro, your husband is a—"

"Seriously, Seidou?" Kurona asks, her eyes narrowed and her face cloaked in midnight's shadows.

"They aren't going to lock up children," snaps Juuzou. "Get real, Takizawa. I consider them to be victims, too. Whether you did it or they did it, our reputation is shot anyways. And lying isn't going to help."

Shinohara's gaze finds Juuzou from across the room.

Seidou gulps, clenching his fists. _I just want to protect her_. He adores Nashiro—he and Kurona have been teaching her how to play soccer, and she's already reading. She likes to cook like her mother.

_I love her more than I've ever loved anything or anyone, and I'm so afraid._

Hanbee approaches, handing Juuzou a sandwich. "Thanks."

Hanbee nods and settles down at the desk next to Juuzou.

"Honestly," says Amon, wincing as he shifts in his seat. "I'm the last one who can ever condemn them, considering what I did with Donato. What I helped him do." He swallows. "I should talk to Seidou about that more. I don't know if Furuta told him that."

"Maybe you should talk to all of our kids," says Seidou, rubbing his skull.

"I think it's a good idea," Kurona says quietly.

"I can help too," Juuzou says. "Considering what Big Madam had me do. Don't worry, I won't give graphic details about what she did to me, but they should know that being manipulated by ghouls doesn't mean you're cursed forever."

Hanbee puts his hand on Juuzou's shoulder. Juuzou bites into his sandwich, aggressively chewing.

"Donato did love me, though," Amon whispers. "Whereas Furuta's kindness was likely just a farce."

"The fact that he loved you has seldom comforted you," Akira reminds him.

"Oh yeah." Amon sighs.

"Maybe we can get Tooru to help, too," Akira says. "Speaking of another child manipulated, except by the CCG this time."

"How comfortable would he be with that, though?" Seidou questions.

"I mean, they already know the worst of it," Akira says. "Thanks to Furuta."

"He'd probably do it," Kurona says. "He loves those kids, and he doesn't like to hide things anymore."

"How are you all feeling?" calls Kimi as she walks by.

 _You were supposed to interview us today,_ Seidou remembers. _See how the medication's treating us. Guess that's not happening now._

"Fine," says Kurona. "A little hungry, but not as in, like, I want to eat Seidou hungry. Well, at least not in the cannibal sense."

 _Oh my God._ Seidou turns scarlet. Kimi snorts and Juuzou's eyebrows fly up in disgust.

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that," Akira says, plucking a cat hair off her suit.

A text lights up Seidou's phone. He checks it. _Seina?_

He's only seen his sister a few times over the years. She's never forgiven him for eating their parents, and she shouldn't. She's never even met Nashiro, though he did show her pictures last time he saw her two years ago. He texted her earlier in the night, warning her that there were threats made against them and she should be careful just in case. Okay, so it wasn't exactly the truth, but it'd get the point across.

 _Is this related to the anti-ghoul rally downtown tomorrow?_ she asks.

"Is there an anti-ghoul rally downtown tomorrow?" Seidou asks.

"Yep," Juuzou says. "Great timing."

"Yeah, ex-fucking-xactly," snaps Seidou.

"I don't think getting lynched is Furuta's priority," retorts Akira.

"No, but if he meets up with V—imagine an attack there," Seidou says, heart pounding.

"We've had no intelligence to suggest that," replies Amon.

"It would fit with their strategy," Seidou counters.

"Are you relying on intuition?" Akira demands. "Where's Chie? I need to remember this moment."

Seidou scowls at her.

"It can't hurt to have a few people there," allows Juuzou.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: V attacks.


	36. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_Who hurt you?_

The question reverberates in his mind, splattering the inside of his skull. He wants to spray it with a hose, wash it away. _Go away!_

He imagines Kaneki's face when he realizes what his son's done. _Goat will come crashing down,_ Furuta predicts as he slips through the streets, dark and lit by streetlights. Long shadows slice across the pavement, claw at the walls. _Unless they can defeat V soon, actually be heroes for a change instead of being so obsessed with keeping their hands clean.  
_

He's not hungry, but he should find someone to kill. _More attacks for Goat to deal with even as the world crumbles into chaos. Ha-ha._ They need to prove their good ghouls, but they are kind of failing at that.

 _I hope you're suffering now. I hurt you, and I'm not sorry about it,_ _Kaneki Ken, Kaneki Touka, Ui Koori, Ui Hairu, Urie Kuki, Urie Tooru, Arima Kishou, all of you losers._

_I will have the last laugh._

He slips onto a bridge then. It's not quite raining, but it's certainly misting, and the chilled dampness slimes his skin. Furuta peers around him. He presses his hand against his pocket.

Something crinkles. _What the hell?_

Furuta fishes it out. _Oh_.

It's the drawing made by Yuki, the one of Furuta as a stick figure surrounded by the kids. They're all drawn in different colors, Furuta notes. He's in black.

_You stupid kid._

_Who hurt you?_ Ryouko asks in his mind again.

_Out! Get out!_

He crumples the picture and throws it into the river. It vanishes into the darkness, and he can't even see it land. The metal railing clings to the skin of his palms, cold.

"Are you okay?" asks a voice behind him. Furuta turns around to see a woman and her boyfriend, or husband, or whatever, standing under an umbrella and both watching him with a frown.

"Do you need help?" asks the boyfriend.

 _What, do you think I'm going to jump?_ Furuta sneers.

_I could ask them for help and kill them. Both of them, just because. Indulge myself, just like Rize. Forget about being the villain for a second.  
_

"Do you need us to call someone for you?" prompts the woman, a chubby thing. She reminds him of Ami.

He remembers Ami throwing Kaneki in front of her, when he'd offered to protect her, and how he'd laughed. Because it proved, deep down, he and Ami were not so different. She thought him a monster, but oh no, she was no better.

_Who hurt you, you stupid pig?_

"No," says Furuta. The couple nods and moves on, the boy glancing over his shoulder a few times.

_Oink, oink._

Furuta turns and stalks away, off the bridge. He has a few places he needs to look, look for the desperate ghouls. _And I doubt your habits have changed very much._ Maybe they'll have food there.

_Where is the king?_

_In your bellies._

_Oink._

Once upon a time, when he ruled the CCG, people cheered his name, girls swooned over him, and he hated them all, because they were all just like Rize in their hearts, only caring about what he could do for them, how he could make them feel.

_Every human being—every ghoul—is selfish like that._

_But you really were the worst of the worst, Rize._

He curls his fists, bites his lip. Blood drips onto his tongue, igniting. _Do you know what I risked for you?_

 _My love meant nothing._ I _meant nothing. Love is pointless. I am a tool, but I will decide how I'm used, you fucking bitch._

A hand clamps on his shoulder. Furuta whirls around as two men grab him by the elbows, and for a second he thinks they're idiots trying to mug him and he'll kill them all, but then he smells them.

_Ghouls._

_V._

_I found you._

"The fuck are you doing out here, Nimura?" snarls one of them, throwing him against the brick wall of a building in an alleyway.

_Nice try, but you can't hurt me._

"Isn't it obvious?" Furuta asks, rolling his eyes. "I escaped."

"How?"

Furuta's stomach sours. "A gullible guard."

Hideo bursts into laughter. "So Goat's already on its last legs?"

"We'll tear them out from under them tomorrow," vows the one holding Furuta's neck, a scruffy man with a bushy beard who really needs to shower. _Disgusting. This is who you have leading you now?_

_You're not V._

_You're a desperate, sad, pathetic attempt to imitate them. Maybe you once knew Kaiko, but you're no one important. You still need to go down.  
_

_But Kaneki, if you can't even take these idiots down, how do you plan to start a new world? You fucking idiot._

"If he appears," Hideo says. "At the rally tomorrow, everyone will know that Goat let him escape—can you imagine the public outcry?"

"And I could help you kill people," Furuta volunteers. Hideo gets it better than this lump of brainless skin and kagune does. _Chaos. Fun._

The ghoul sneers. "I suppose we could use him."

_Rize, you user._

"How do you know they'll even be there tomorrow?" croons Furuta. "I'd imagine they'd want to stay far away from Goat." _Who did you kidnap?_

"We have Owl's sister," replies Hideo.

 _Takizawa Seina?_ Furuta wonders if she even contacts Takizawa Seidou anymore. Has she even met her niece? "Do I get to have a morsel of her when you're through? After all the shit they put me through?" Maybe humans would feel sympathy then. Or maybe not.

"We'll see," says Hideo, pulling out a cigarette.

He follows them into a club, upstairs. He hears a human girl's muffled cries for help. No doubt unfamiliar footsteps will have given her hope.

_It's useless, Takizawa Seina. Give it up._

"Goat might not even be able to fight back tomorrow," Furuta tells them. "They're on medication to change their appetites." Change them almost into functional Quinxes, but he does wonder if they'll still be able to use their kagunes.

"Won't matter," grunts the fat, ugly man. God, his nose is bulbous and revolting. "Goat will be drawn to the rally thanks to the Takizawa girl, and especially to you."

 _We could have done it without you._ That's the meaning behind his words. Furuta grits his teeth. _I'm not that useful after all, and yet you're still trying to wring every last drop out of me._

"Even if they can't fight back," muses Hideo. "We really want as few of them as possible in Goat's headquarters."

"Why?" asks Furuta.

A smile carves Hideo's face. "Don't you know? Hurting them physically is one thing, but we're following your ideas."

"My ideas?" Furuta's heart pounds. _See? See? I am useful. Of my own devices, not taking advantage, unlike you, Rize._

"Hurt them with their kids," Hideo says, drumming his fingers on a table. "That was a stroke of brilliance, by the way. Playing with their birth control—it's just too bad you were too weak to carry out your plan and kidnap them." He laughs.

_I'm not weak._

"Were you going to kill them and eat them, make sure their parents never found the bodies and they worried forever until hope or despair strangled them?" inquires Hideo as he opens a jar containing a hand. He bites down, blood dribbling down his chin. "Or were you planning to raise them away from their parents, set them to kill their parents later on in life? We've often wondered and debated about what your final plan was."

Furuta snorts. "Both were options." Options he never intended to live out. His chest tightens. A raw, burning sensation scrapes at his ribs.

_Who hurt you?_

He remembers Rize, the way her purple hair and her figure faded after he freed her, the way she ran, and then she was gone.

_I hurt me._

* * *

Urie watches as Tooru kisses their twins goodbye while they still sleep. The sun's shining through the window, but most of the kids are still sprawled on their blankets. Nozomi sits up, her hair falling haphazardly over her face.

"Be back soon," Tooru promises, kissing Isamu's forehead.

"Bye," whispers Chiasa, eyes sliding open and then sliding shut.

Urie rubs his forehead. They've had no sleep, aside from the twenty minutes or so Urie caught on Tooru's shoulder. Coffee floods their veins, keeps their hearts beating and their legs moving.

Tooru hurries out of the room, shoulders hunched.

"Hey," Urie calls, catching his husband's shoulder. "Are you—" _You're really not okay, are you?_

Tooru shakes his head. "I feel like I'm running on fumes, caffeine, and panic right now."

"After we go to this rally," Urie promises. "You and me and Chiasa and Isamu are going home, and you're going to sleep, okay? Maybe I'll get Higemaru to watch them."

"I'm scared he'll find us," Tooru whispers, pulling his green hair back from his face. "I'm scared of what he could bring out in me."

 _Damn that Furuta._ "You're on medication," Urie reminds him, catching the back of Tooru's neck. "I'll still be here, remember that. No matter what."

Tooru peers up at him, and a sad smile breaks through his face. "Sorry. I always forget."

"I don't mind reminding you," Urie says as Tooru presses his head into Urie's shoulder. "Actually I kind of like it."

Tooru steps on his toes. "Ow!"

"I also—" Tooru sucks in his breath.

"What?" Urie prompts, turning Tooru's face up to look into his. "What is—"

"I just—I love Isamu and Chiasa so, so much, no matter what they've done. They could try to kill me and I would still love them, and that just makes me—" Tooru's voice breaks. "And you're so willing to defend them, and so am I. How could—why did—why wasn't—" His face crumples.

_Why did your parents treat you like trash?_

_We'll never know._

"All I know," Urie says, voice cracking. "Is that you didn't deserve it, Tooru."

Tooru shudders, wrapping his arms around Urie's neck. "Thank you."

"No necking in the hallway; there are children around!" teases Saiko as she rushes by. "Ready?"

"No," Urie grumbles.

"Qs, assemble!" Kaneki calls. Juuzou decided to send Kaneki and the Quinxes, all seven of them, to the rally.

"Yes, Squad leader," quips Shirazu.

"Shut up." Kaneki winks, though shadows bleed under his eyes.

"Good luck," calls Takizawa as he saunters past.

"Did Seina text you back again?" Kaneki asks.

Takizawa presses his lips together and shakes his head, shame riddling his face. "Not that I expected her to."

"I'm sorry," Tooru tells him, voice soft. Hsiao sighs.

"It's fine." Takizawa straightens his back. "Good luck, Quinx."

Urie spots Eto whispering to Arima, who frowns but nods. _What're you planning?_

He doesn't have time to worry about it. They stride out into the warm sunlight. Urie holds Tooru's hand as they climb into two cars. Kaneki's teaming up with Shirazu, Higemaru with Aura, Saiko with Hsiao, and Tooru with Urie.

"Keep your hat down low, because I don't want to have to rescue you," warns Shirazu. "You may be an ex-king, but you're still a major symbol, so, like, don't be an idiot."

"Your sister's okay, right, Shirazu?" Tooru presses.

"'Course. She sent me a text telling me not to get myself killed." Shirazu snorts.

"Good advice," Urie grunts. They're all wearing coats and caps pulled down low, even though it's not that cold out. Tooru's green hair is completely covered. Hopefully the general public will assume they're security.

They arrive and fan out into the crowd of young and old people, all there for one reason: the belief that people like Touka and Kaneki and Ayato and Yomo and Amon don't have the right to live. Humans carry signs demanding action from the government, saying that the only good ghoul is a dead ghoul, and Urie wants to shake them and scream how death never solves anything, it makes problems impossible to solve instead, but he can't. They chant, and Tooru's face pales. He digs his fingers into Urie's hands.

A shadow passes over the sun. Urie glances up. Clouds move in, and he hopes it rains on this whole lot.

 _We're the ones who had choices,_ Urie thinks. _We Quinxes. Except Saiko. And not that much of one, given our childhoods._

_Are you telling me that offered a ghoul's power without having to eat humans, you wouldn't take it? You'd all take it, wouldn't you? Most of you would._

Screams erupt from the left. Closer to them than Urie was expecting. The sound scalds his ears. _Shit!_ Tooru pulls him along, scrambling towards the mess.

Two humans roll on the ground, punching each other.

 _Oh_. Urie gapes down at them. Tooru scowls.

"I lost my sister to those—"

"And they feel just like you and me—"

"Then why are you punching him?" shouts Tooru. "Stop!" He lunges. The first man, the anti-ghoul person, knocks Tooru back.

"Don't you—" Urie erupts.

"This is very entertaining," comments a droll voice to Urie's left. A huge man with a beard and a bulging nose leers down. The two fist-fighters freeze.

Wind slaps him. "Fighting's not allowed here," Urie says. "Security. Go home."

"I don't think any of you will be going home," answers the large man as a bikaku kagune starts to emerge from his tailbone.

Terror seizes the air. People flee, tripping over each other, mothers screaming for their children, the anti-ghoul fighter frozen on the ground and then wailing as someone crunches his knee in their desperation to get away. "Hell no!" shouts Urie, his kagune emerging. _Keep it calm. Don't go full kakuja._

Tooru's bikakus fly around him. He blocks the huge ghoul from attacking the protester on the ground.

"What are you—you're all ghouls!" screeches the anti-ghoul man.

"We're Quinxes!" Urie bellows.

"Get him out of here, Urie!" shouts Tooru, kakugan glowing. He knocks the huge ghoul on his back. The ghoul slices Tooru's shoulder, but he ducks to avoid being decapitated.

"I don't care what you are; you're all—"

" _I'm trying to save your life, you ungrateful bastard!"_ Urie screams. He grips the man under his armpits. "Move if you don't wanna die, you asshole!"

"Call for backup!" Tooru cries.

"We're here!" yells Higemaru, flying to block a blow from cutting Urie in the sternum. Aura leaps down to go after another ghoul whom Urie didn't even see appearing.

"Kaneki and Shirazu are facing off with someone else; Saiko and Hsiao are already there!" Aura shouts. "We called for more backup too."

 _Good. We need it._ Because Urie can hear screaming coming from south of them, past that gray building, behind the bridge—it's everywhere.

"Go!" Tooru yells at him, hat flying off his head as he attacks.

Urie nods and sprints towards the bridge. The anti-ghoul protestor lumbers off, into a nearby coffee shop.

"He has a hostage!" screams a middle-aged woman. She shrieks when she sees Urie.

"I'm with Goat!" Urie bellows. "I'm not going to hurt you!"

She still trips over her own heels trying to escape him.

 _A hostage…_ Urie's throat tightens. _There's no way this can end well._ Especially when he draws near and sees a thin, scrawny ghoul holding a bleeding human with a face so familiar Urie almost gags. _Nashiro?_ No, she's way too grown up.

But it's Takizawa's face on a young woman.

 _Seina_ , Urie realizes. "You touch her and you die!"

He hears the people around him yelling about turf wars and Urie could kick them all. _I could use your help! And don't get a quinque and use it to kill me—I'm trying to help you!_

"Takizawa Seina?" Urie shouts. "I work with your brother at Goat. Stay calm."

Seina lifts her face, tears mingling with her blood. _How long have they held you captive? Or did you come here to save your brother?_

 _I need someone else_ , Urie realizes. _I can't take this ghoul by myself, not when he has a hostage._

"Look behind you, Goat-man!" screams a teenage boy. Urie whirls around to barely dodge the ukaku of a furious woman ghoul.

A rinkaku pierces her abdomen. _Rize's._

"Kaneki?"

"No, idiot!" Kurona shoves the female ghoul to the side and glares at the ghoul holding Seina. "If you know what's good for you, you'll let my sister-in-law go!"

Seina gapes at Kurona, whose hair flies wildly around her face, twin kakugans glaring, teeth bared.

The ghoul backs up, still holding Seina. He leans down to bite her throat.

" _No!"_ Urie shouts.

Another rinkaku pierces the ghoul's abdomen. It wrenches him away from Seina, sending him flying into a building.

_Karren._

"Thanks!" hollers Kurona, charging towards a crumpled Seina. "Hey. You're all right?"

"Huh?" Seina gapes up at Kurona. "You're—"

"Your sister-in-law, the mother of your niece, whatever," Kurona snaps. "You aren't injured?"

"My ankle's—"

"I'll get you out of here," Kurona promises. "Put your arm around my shoulder—hey, _Urie!"_

He spins around to see another ghoul, a woman with an ukaku kagune, leaping out of the third-floor window of an office building. Blood smears her mouth— _she ate someone—those people—_ Glass shards glitter as they crash around him. They slice his cheek. Blood dribbles, warm and wet, and he's on the ground—his arm feels heavy—

"No!" Karren yells, and Kurona's screaming too, but it's strangely quiet, and he thinks of his father, and then he thinks of Chiasa, and Isamu, from the time last summer when he taught them how to swim and Tooru taught them how to do cannonballs into the pool, how they giggled and beamed up at him, hair drenched, skin coated in sunblock, reeking of chlorine and throwing their arms around him.

_Did you think of me when you died, Dad?_

_Maybe then, you weren't alone after all._

_Thank you._

The female ghoul lunges at Urie, but she's ripped back, and sunlight fills his vision. The clouds drain from above.

"Get up!" Tooru yells, arms around him, hauling him to his feet. "You're okay, Kuki, you're okay!"

_You're here._

_I'm okay._

Damn, his arm is _killing_ him.

"Karren, can you handle them?" yells Takizawa as he sprints towards his sister. The female ghoul lies on her back, gasping. Her limbs all look broken, and Takizawa tosses away an empty RC spray canister.

"Not a problem," Karren says, lugging the unconscious ghoul over to the female ghoul.

"Is that Tatara?" shouts Kurona.

Urie peers out into the crowd to see Eto, Arima, and Tatara striding through the crowd. Lots of ghouls, in fact. Tatara's leading them. And they're forming rings around the humans. Protecting them.

"Seina!"

Urie turns his head to watch Takizawa approach, his face pale. She gapes up at him as his kagune retracts, vanishing into his back. "Hi," he says.

She bursts into tears, and Takizawa sinks to his knees, reaching out as if he can't quite bring himself to hold her.

"Grab her shoulder already," grumbles Tooru, but only loud enough for Urie to hear. "You shouldn't wait."

Seina falls into Takizawa's arms. Kurona wipes her eyes.

"What?" yells Karren. Urie spins around again to see her face turning pale as she crouches by the female ghoul, who's saying something.

"What's happening?" calls Tooru, hauling himself to his feet and Urie with him. "Your arm's healing."

"She said to 'enjoy your victory, because it won't last,'" Karren reports, glaring down at the ghoul. "Is Furuta here?"

The female ghoul croaks again. "Glad… you all came… all came to see…"

"He must be," says Tooru.

Something about the smug look on the woman's face in the middle of her broken defeat chafes at Urie.

_They wanted us here. All of us. Here._

_Why?_

He glances around at the crowds peering through windows, still screaming, some videotaping. _They're not going to lynch us, are they?_

"You lost," Karren informs her. "Ghouls are heroes today."

It's too far and too crowded for Urie to make out Eto's face, but he knows she's smiling and Arima is, too.

"And you'll lose," the woman ekes out, her breath rattling in her chest. "What matters most."

_What matters most?_

_We're all here._

The realization dawns on Urie the same moment it sinks its teeth into Tooru, into Karren. Because there's only one thing that matters more to all of them than creating a world where humans and ghouls live in coexistence. Hell, that's the _motivation_ for half of them to work at Goat.

_They're going to Goat for our kids._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Goat tries to save their kids and find Fruit-chan.


	37. For a Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_God fucking dammit._

He had not planned on this.

_If I go back, they'll shoot me on sight with those damn Q bullets, or throw me back in prison to rot._

Furuta grips the edge of the bridge, watching people run and scream in terror, eyes wide, lips open, gasping. He remembers being locked up, the crushing sense of nothingness pressing in all around him, smothering him, the nothingness that always gnawed at him but not was here, shoving its greedy hands down his throat and clawing at his insides. He watches as, in the distance, the pink-haired Quinx clutches his ear.  _Calling for backup?_

 _Not a bad idea, except that you're about to lose your second generation. Then maybe humans will sympathize with you: when they see that you've lost your kids to ghouls too._ Which is what he originally planned on in the first place.

Furuta bites his lip. Blood fills his mouth. Though he hadn't planned on killing them.

_This sad, pathetic imitation of V does._

It won't be long before they die out, too. Likely today, Furuta knows. They don't plan to live, just to burn the world down.

He stiffens, watching as a car pulls up at the curb and goddamn Ui Koori races out with his Q gun. Suzuya. Hairu. Naki and Miza. Suzuya's squad. Amon. Mado. Eto, Arima, Tatara—ghouls working  _for_  humans. Hell, Itori and Uta are here with Yomo. Hakatori, Ikuma, Asa, and Rio too, and as far as he knows, they don't even work for Goat.

_You're all here now. Heroic Goat, guarded only by—Tsukiyama's dad? His servants? Great idea, you bumbling idiots._

Unless they aren't idiots, and that's really the way the world works now. Less fear. Furuta rubs his chin, peering down at the teeming masses of panicked people that Goat's trying to save.

He tenses.  _The moment they recognize me, it's over.  
_

His hands press against his pockets. Empty.

There's something hollow about dying here, even if in front of a crowd. He doesn't know their faces.

This isn't the audience Furuta wants.

 _They could kill me in front of their children._ He can only imagine the looks on their kids' faces, the looks on Kaneki's face, Touka's face, Ui's face.

_Fuck you all._

He spins on his heel and races off the bridge, worming his way through the pressing crowd that smells of sweat and tears and fat and stupid people. He slips into an alleyway and grabs the first car he can, wrenching the middle-aged man with a potbelly to the ground. "Keys." His rinkaku surges. The man hands them over, crying and pleading for his life. Furuta throws him to the ground and drives away.

When he arrives at Goat, he leaves the car running. The glass door is still intact, and locked.

He smashes the door with his kagune. Footsteps echo above him as Furuta enters the stairwell.

"You!" bellows Nagachika Hideyoshi.

_Oh, so they left you behind too?_

"Yoriko, get the kids!" Hide yells, grabbing his phone. " _He's_  here!"

 _Of course I don't even have a name._  Furuta snarls at Hide, who blanches and turns to run—probably to grab a Q gun. Furuta snatches him by the ankles with his kagune. "You—"

"Don't hurt him!" shrieks a voice.  _Masanori_.

"Get back in here!" screams Yoriko, but Masanori's behind Hide and Furuta, on the third story. Yoriko's at the second floor entrance.

"No!" screeches Rose.

"Why did you lie to us?" screams Ryouko, appearing behind Yoriko, who tries to shove her back inside.

More screaming erupts from behind Yoriko. Glass shatters. A baby wails. Yoriko whirls around and gasps.

_They're here, aren't they?_

_It's a massacre._

_"Fuyumi!"_  Yoriko screams, charging in there to protect her young. Like a parent should do. Because she loves her child, Kuroiwa's spawn, and they all—they all love their kids.

_For no reason._

They shouldn't. Furuta forced so many of them into the same situation he sprung from: forced breeding.

_But you loved each other._

He grits his teeth and lets go of Hide, charging after Yoriko.

"No you don't!" bellows Hide, flying after him. But Furuta's quicker. He dodges Hide and bursts into the room to see Rose throwing herself in front of her baby sibling, Ryouko grabbing the hands of a boy who has to be her little brother, Nashiro grabbing a boy that has to be a Tsukiyama, Chiasa and Isamu clutching each other, frozen in terror, and little Mie's bikaku kagune flying out to strike a young ghoul across the face as he tries to bite Seidou's leg. Joji grabs his sister and a mini-Eto-as-a-boy. Nozomi shrieks when she sees him, her face terrified—so unlike her parents. A human boy he doesn't recognize covers his eyes as if he's seen this before, as if he's waiting to die. A girl with blonde pigtails cowers beside the human boy.

Another ghoul pins Mie down, but Ryouko lets go of her little brother and lets her ukaku fly out, shooting—

 _You're too damn young._ Furuta's rinkaku cuts through the belly of the ghoul pinning Mie down, slamming the body into the ghoul trying to attack Seidou.

"My clown!" shrieks Yuki, even though Furuta can't catch a glimpse of that stupid brat. "Help us!"

Seidou scrambles to his feet, tears streaming from his eyes. The ghoul's blood soaks his leg. Nozomi activates her kakugan, but a ghoul throws her against a wall. Her head cracks against it, and she slumps. Furuta cuts through the ghoul, but shit, there are five more.

"Get out of here!" Yoriko screams to the kids, grabbing her daughter in one arm and hauling Seidou out with her other arm. Mirumo appears and cuts down another ghoul.

_Four to go._

_And then I get to say goodbye._

The human boy rushes over, grabbing Nozomi and tugging at her. She blinks, eyes bleary. Joji and his sister, plus Nozomi's brother, run to them, and together with the human boy, they get Nozomi to her feet.

 _You fools—you should have run on your own._  But they wouldn't leave without their sister, their friend.

Mirumo turns on him as he rushes towards a still-frozen Isamu and Chiasa.  _Dumbasses, move!_

Furuta dodges Mirumo, slamming on his back. His head cracks against the wall this time.  _Damn, for an old guy, you're fast._

And he's out of practice.

And out of time.

_Ready to watch your heroes kill me?_

He turns his head in the direction Yuki's voice came from earlier, and he sees the child rushing towards him, jaw open in horror.

And an ukaku ghoul surging towards Yuki's head.

"Get back!" Mirumo shouts.

Yuki trips and tumbles to the ground, turning to gape up at the creature that will certainly kill him.

_Goddammit!_

Mirumo's koukaku cuts past to slice off the ghoul's head, but thankfully Yuki can't see it. Because Furuta's blocking his view.

_It hurts._

Something warm runs down his side, his shoulders, and he hears someone crying, and all he can think is that he did not want to go out like this.

* * *

The moment they see the door smashed in, fear sears Tsukiyama's chest. He sprints inside, shoes crunching the glass. Urie lets out a cry behind him.

"Daddy!" screams Chiasa, and she bursts past Tsukiyama, scrambling for Urie and Tooru. Nashiro streams after her, bawling. Bing throws herself at Saiko, Hsiao, and Shirazu.

Tsukiyama pounds up the stairs.  _"Rose!"_ The scream burns his throat. His daughters, his son, his father—

Rose's crumpled on the stairs, holding Masanori. A cut mars the boy's cheek, and both of them are crying. Akito and Ryouko hug, Ryouko pressing her brother's face into her shoulder. Seidou lets out a gasp when he sees Amon and Akira spilling in, Amon with his kagune ready and Akira with a Q gun. Akira may not have kakugans, but her eyes flash with fury.

_Emma—Tsukuru—_

_Dad!_

Karren grabs Rose, holding her. Eto curses.

"Mom! Dad!" wails Shiono. Arima drops to his knees, bawling as he clutches a dazed-looking Nozomi. Naki grabs his son in one arm and his daughter in the other, screaming words that might not even be words, they're so jumbled.

 _"Yoriko!"_  bellows Takeomi.

"I'm in here!" Yoriko yells from inside the daycare room. Tsukiyama bursts into the hallway and into the room, where Hide crouches, helping Isamu stand. Mie holds Tsukuru's hand, her kakugans still glowing.

 _And Emma_ —Yoriko holds her. Tsukiyama bursts into tears and grasps his youngest daughter, who's screeching. "It's okay," he promises, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Daddy's got you, baby." The words come out in a jumble of languages, English and German and French and Japanese.

Carnage wreaks havoc across the room. Seven ghouls lie in various states of disrepair, blood splattered, glass coating the floor like evil snow. The paintings hanging on the bulletin board are shredded; one of the cribs is broken.

And Yuki kneels next to the body of an eighth ghoul, pressing against a gaping abdominal wound. "Don't go, clown-man."

"Yuki!" shrieks Touka, charging into the room. "Get away from him!"

"Shuu!" His father rises from next to Yuki, blood smearing his hands, his shirt.

 _You're okay!_  Tsukiyama's crying too hard to answer. _I almost lost them all._

"He saved me!" shouts Yuki.

"No, he didn't!" Touka snaps.

"Yes, he did!"

"He did," Dad confirms.

"What?" Kaneki skids to a stop, glaring down at Furuta. The monster's chest heaves as he struggles to draw in air, blood flecked across his face. His pallor grays as he looks up at Kaneki, eyes defiant even though he can't so much as push himself up to his elbows.

"He threw himself in front of Yuki—that ukaku ghoul was going to—" Dad's voice breaks. "I wouldn't have cut him down in time—"

"He killed two of the ghouls," Yoriko whispers.

"You're joking," Yomo says.

Yoriko shakes her head. Takeomi appears, jaw falling open. Itori bursts into laughter.

 _I don't believe this._  Tsukiyama shakes his head. "So you  _do_  actually care about someone for once, Fruit-chan?"

Furuta glares at him. Blood forms a pool underneath his torso. He doesn't have much time.

"Don't go, clown," Yuki sobs again as Touka kneels next to him.

"Kimi—" Dad starts.

Kimi appears behind Touka, her face ghastly white. "His body could heal itself, but he doesn't have enough time, so—"

 _He's bleeding out._  Tsukiyama grits his teeth. He deserves it. After what he did to Rose, to Yuki, to all these kids—

_He took out two ghouls._

"He'd need a blood transfusion," says Juuzou, a strange look at his face as he leans his still-bloody quinque against a wall and snatches his son, holding Hiroto to his chest, the boy still shaking. Hiroto may not remember what happened to his birth parents, but he knows the story.

"His type's AB," Ui comments in disgust, stepping into the room. Karren enters then, and everyone's there then, looking down at a dying Furuta who can't do anything more than squirm in his own blood while Yuki sobs, still trying to hold his blood inside him. Chie holds her camera up, clicking away. Takizawa holds his sister upright while Kurona holds their daughter, and Seina keeps sneaking glances at Nashiro, who looks at Seina in awe.

"I do have IV supplies," Banjou says.

"Then you can save him!" cries Yuki.

"Yuki—" Touka starts.

Furuta shakes his head.

 _You don't want to live,_  Tsukiyama realizes.

_You're perfectly okay with dying like this, everyone around you, not sure how to feel about you._

_You wanted the last laugh._

_At least you can't actually laugh now, bitch._

_Or you okay with it? Or do you just want to die?_

"We're not saving him," Eto says. Arima lowers his head.

"The ghoul threw Nozomi against a wall and he stopped him from attacking her," says Shiono. Eto turns pale.

Kaneki looks as if he'd love nothing more than to smash his foot into Furuta's face. "Get the supplies."

"What?" yells Eto.

"Are you for real?" demands Shirazu.

"Kaneki—" starts Ayato.

"I'm AB too, get it!" Kaneki yells. Banjou spins on his heel. He crouches over Furuta, grabbing the man by his chin. "You're not dying now. You don't get that satisfaction, and you're not traumatizing my son anymore than you already have."

 _Are we reduced to saving this pathetic man's life out of spite?_  Tsukiyama looks at Rose, clinging to Karren.  _No. We're doing it for our kids._

_Because we are not like you anymore, Fruit-man._

"I'm AB too," Kurona says reluctantly.

"And me," says Hinami.

"Me also," Tooru admits.

"Hell, I am too," says Juuzou, handing their son to Hanbee. Shinohara's eyebrows rise. "You'll live to see another day, rotten Fruit."

Furuta tries to keep shaking his head, but Kaneki pushes his son back and presses his leg against the wound. His kakugan offers Furuta a silent threat.

"I don't," Furuta rasps.

"Want to live? Yeah, I know," Kaneki snaps.

Yuki gasps and grabs Furuta by his chin, hands slick with blood. "You  _have_  to live!  _I_  want you to!"

Banjou bustles into the room, carrying all sorts of medical equipment.

"Everyone but donors, out," Kimi orders, and Tsukiyama knows better than to disobey Kimi when she's in doctor mode.

* * *

"I literally cannot believe you just gave your own blood to save  _Furuta_ ," Hairu states when Kaneki and the others stagger into :re.

"He's back in prison," Naki says with a grin, cracking his knuckles. Kaneki rolls his eyes.

"Banjou's keeping an eye on him," Kimi announces wearily, collapsing in a chair next to Nishiki and grabbing Mie.

Kaneki rushes over to Yuki and Touka. Tooru runs to his twins, Hinami to Ayato and their kids, and Kurona to Seidou, Nashiro, and Seina, who smiles at Nashiro. Juuzou grabs his son and presses his head into his son's neck.

"It's usually not this dramatic," Kaneki assures Seina. "Well, not anymore."

Touka snorts, nudging a sleeping Yuki. The boy opens his eyes. "Daddy!"

"Come here." Kaneki croaks, wrapping his arms around his son.  _My God. If we'd lost you—_

 _And I have to send you to school in another month or so? I just want to hold you here, in my arms, forever._ He breathes in Yuki's sweet scent, though this time it's marred with the bitter smell of blood.

"We're all okay," Touka assures him, her hand rising to stroke Kaneki's hair. Hide beams at him while Yomo argues with Uta over what he should say to the prime minister. Amon pours Akira a cup of coffee with Seidou helping. Mirumo holds Tsukuru while Karren rocks Emma, and Tsukiyama combs Rose's hair. Ui wipes tears from his face as Hairu smoothes the Band-Aid on Masanori's check. Marude, of all people, distracts Chiasa and Isamu by having them play a game of Tic-Tac-Toe while Tooru and Urie hold each other. Saiko sits on Hsiao's lap and holds Bing on her own lap, Shirazu fixing Bing's pigtails while Aura and Higemaru bicker about what kind of coffee beans to use next. Yoriko sleeps against Takeomi's shoulder, Fuyumi finally asleep on his lap. Naki wraps his arms around Miza, him holding their son and her their daughter, and Juuzou hands Hanbee and Hiroto donuts. Nishiki massages Kimi's shoulders. Eto leans against the wall, a strange look on her face; Shiono clings to her leg and her hand strokes his head.

"Coffee?" Arima offers Eto a cup. Nozomi clings to his hand—she's been diagnosed with a mild concussion, but it seems to be healing.

She raises her hand, and for a moment Kaneki thinks she's going to slap it away because Furuta's still alive, but she accepts it and takes a sip. Her lip trembles.

_We're all okay._

_And we're all here._

And even if it's just a moment, Kaneki holds onto it. Besides, Chie's snapping photo after photo, so he can always remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was written for mercyandmagic, who asked me to write a particular arc for the rotten Fruit-chan.
> 
> Up next: the last chapter, in which Kaneki settles their business with Fruit, Kimi's medicine may be working, and they may get to try human food.


	38. Nice Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Enjoy the last chapter/epilogue :)

The sound of something rustling shivers through the darkness. Something rancid tickles his nose.

_Why am I awake?_

Furuta tries to lift his arms. They're chained down. Metal presses into his skin. Something soft rests over him.  _A blanket?_

_Why am I alive?_

"He's awake," calls a voice.

No _shit. But why?_  Furuta squints, turning his head to peer up at a goateed ghoul.  _Banjou_ , if he remembers correctly.

"Sorry, we drugged you to get to back here," Banjou says. "Actually we're not that sorry."

 _Instead of dying, those brats got to see their parents save their enemy._ Reality shoves its cold fingers into him.  _I hate everything._

_I am such a failure._

"You're going back to prison soon," Banjou informs him. "Now that we've got enough leads on V—or Imitation V."

 _Not a bad name for them._ Furuta winces.

"Are you in pain?"

He closes his eyes again.  _I didn't want to wake up._  "I presume the government will execute me soon enough."

"Not happening," says a voice behind Banjou. Furuta's eyes fly open.

Kaneki leans against the door, arms crossed. Juuzou and Ui glare down at him.

_Great._

"Hi Kaneki," Furuta manages. "I'm nice now." He can't even try to laugh.

"From forensics we've gathered plus Seina's testimony," Juuzou says, fiddling with the Q gun he still carries. "You did not kill anyone while you were on the lam. So no need to add more charges. Your sentence remains the same."

_Fucking hell._

"Stop trying to die," Kaneki snaps.

Furuta scowls. "And live for what? There's nothing—just four walls, a ceiling and a floor—"

"Your own fault," points out Sir Sanctimonious, Ui.

"You aren't any better," sneers Furuta, and Ui's face pales.

"They're trying," Kaneki says. "We're  _all_  trying. You're not." He swallows.

 _I hate you_.

 _Why do you get everything and I get nothing?_ He thinks of Rize, of Touka, of Yuki, of the times in the Sunlit Garden when one of the Washuus would walk through and pass him by, because he was just a specimen. "How's Goat's public image?"

"Damaged but not beyond repair," Ui responds, crossing his arms. "We look like heroes to quite a few people. Incompetent heroes maybe, but heroes. And people are impressed with Tatara and the ghouls from the 24th ward. They're going to be awarded medals."

_Well, at least I accomplished that._

_But in the end they didn't need to publicly kill me. I was irrelevant. Just like always_. "Congratulations." Furuta rolls his eyes. Damn, the smell of the RC suppressant makes him want to gag. Kaneki and Banjou have mild cringes on their faces as well.

"Look," says Kaneki, cringing and cracking his knuckles. "Thank you for saving Yuki."

"Don't expect a thank you for saving his own life," quips Juuzou.

"I don't," says Kaneki, staring down at Furuta, who is trapped. If he looks away, Kaneki wins. If he looks into Kaneki's eyes, Kaneki wins.

_Goddammit._

"Even after finding out you used him to escape," Ui says, his fist curling and lip pulling back in a snarl. "Yuki still cares about you. So does Masanori, unfortunately."

Furuta arches his eyebrows. "So I did get under your skin? I'm still there?"

Juuzou groans. Banjou snorts.

"Listen," says Kaneki. "If you cooperate in our investigation—which means telling us every last thing you know even if you don't think it'll be relevant—I will take Yuki to visit you in prison once a month. With Touka as a chaperone, because she's  _slightly_  more intimidating than me."

"Try a lot," Juuzou says.

"Hairu and I are still discussing whether we'll let Masanori join," Ui says. "If he wants to."

_What the fuck._

"He still thinks what you did wasn't really 'fair,'" says Kaneki. "So I imagine he'll want to have words with you about that."

"If Touka's in the room, good luck trying to manipulate him," says Juuzou. "You don't want to die that way, let me tell you."

"Maybe eventually you'll find something productive to do with whatever life you have left," says Kaneki. "I do know what it's like to want to die."

 _Bullshit. You always had somebody. Nagachika, Kirishima, Arima._  Some _body._

"Unfortunately, my kid made this for you," Kaneki adds, holding out a piece of paper with  _Get Well Soon_  written on it and the drawing of what is probably intended to be a clown.

_That kid really cares, doesn't he?_

_Wait, no!_

He can't grab it, not with his hands cuffed to this cot. Furuta averts his eyes, but it's too late. He sees Kaneki's eyes widen in surprise and the small smirk on Juuzou's face.

_I hate all of you!_

"I'll leave it here," Kaneki says.

"Tack it up on the wall," Juuzou suggests. "Though he's going back to prison in two days."

"He can take it with him," Ui suggests. "Put it where he can see it in the meantime."

"Does here work?" asks Kaneki, fixing it to the wall directly in front of him.

Furuta squeezes his eyes shut.

"Eh," says Banjou. "He'll open them eventually."

* * *

_One month later_

"How did it go?" Kaneki questions, rising to greet Touka as she enters :re.

"Fine," Touka says wearily. "Being in the same room as him still makes me uncomfortable, though." She wraps her arms around Kaneki.

Kaneki nods. "Did he act—"

"He's fine." Touka snorts. "He's trying so hard not to be too nice to Yuki, but he can't be mean because I'm there, and also because I think he kind of wants to be nice to Yuki. As much as he rolls his eyes about it."

"Well," Kaneki says, holding Touka tightly. "Yuki is pretty special."

"All okay?" calls Uta as he and Yomo enter the café. Kaneki gives a thumbs-up.

"Maybe I will let Masanori go with Yuki next time," Hairu allows. Kurona hurries past to turn the sign over the door to  _closed_.

"We're back!" Yuki rushes through the door, chased by Seidou and Isamu, all giggling.

"Yuki, get out from behind the counter!" Touka hollers. "You'll burn yourself and then you won't be able to go to school tomorrow."

"Fine by Kaneki, I'm betting," teases Ayato as he slinks up next to them. Hinami rolls her eyes.

"No," Kaneki says honestly. "I think Yuki will like school."  _Even if I'll spend all day having a panic attack._

"He'll be reading  _War and Peace_  before he's twelve," predicts Takizawa, helping Nashiro off his shoulders. His sister leans against the glass window, a smile on her face.

_Everyone's here._

"Well," says Kimi.

"Get on a table, Doctor," teases Nishiki.

"You should, Mommy!" calls Mie.

Kimi rolls her eyes. Nishiki vacates his chair as Kaneki's stomach rumbles. Kimi leaps onto it. "So as you all know, today's the day when all of your levels are finally showing that you now have the enzyme necessarily to digest human food."

"We're jealous," jokes Ryouko.

"You might not be if we all puke it up," mumbles Ayato, looking nervously at the plates set out on the counter. Yoriko made a huge batch of fried chicken, Chie bought a cheesecake, Kurona baked chocolate cupcakes with strawberry filling, and Hide grilled hamburger steaks. Juuzou has several tubs of ice cream and a box of donuts that Amon looks at in awe.

"It actually smells decent," Hinami comments, her hand laced with Ayato's. "Weird, though."

Tsukiyama peers at the food, practically salivating. Karren's nose wrinkles. Naki looks nervous, tugging at the sleeves of his white suit.

"You should feel free to try it," Kimi says. "It might taste—strange. That's to be expected, I think, but if you feel nauseated at all, please let me know."

"You probably won't," Nishiki says. "I've been eating it for the past two days and haven't been sick."

"What?" yelps Akira.

"Kimi said I could try and I wanted to! She made me start with a very rare cut of meat," Nishiki admits. "But that was good, so now I've had—let's see—milk, eggs, noodles—those have a weird texture—and pomegranate too." He looks at the pastries. "She said I couldn't try any sweets until everyone else could, though."

Mie giggles. "It's funny seeing Daddy eat Mommy's food."

"You can  _either_  have a donut, a cupcake,  _or_  ice cream," Urie tells Chiasa and Isamu.

"But everyone else gets to try  _everything_ ," protests Chiasa.

 _"Everyone else_  hasn't eaten this kind of food before," Tooru reminds them. "Or at least in years."

"Also it's fairly normal not to like sweets," Urie says. "So you don't have to like everything."

"It's not normal," Saiko retorts.

Urie scowls. Tooru snickers.

"Dig in," Kimi says, sweeping her arms.

"Oh former One-Eyed-King," says Juuzou. "Go help yourself first."

"Me?" Kaneki takes a step back.

"Of all of us artificial half-ghouls," says Amon. "You've been deprived the longest. Have at it."

 _Not alone, though_. Kaneki takes Touka's elbow and leads her to the counter. He hands her a plate. She copies him, taking a little of everything. Takizawa and Kurona follow, Amon only grabs donuts, Banjou stares at the food as if it's lumps of rocks, and Hinami gets Ayato a plate that he gawps at. Tsukiyama's plate overflows, while Karren's appears more plausible in terms of portion sizes. Miza plucks a little of everything for all of them, but Naki takes an extra cupcake because it "looks pretty." Tooru and Urie load up their plates, but Urie avoids the sweets.

"Ready?" asks Hide.

Touka selects a bite of Yoriko's chicken to try first. Kaneki chooses the hamburger steak. Both Hide and Yoriko peer at them.  _This is awkward._

Kaneki pushes it into his mouth, heart pounding.  _Please be okay. Even be_  tolerable…

A rich, salted taste fills his mouth.  _Can I—chew?_

He does, and it tastes okay. Strange, different, but—

 _I like it_.

He swallows and glances at Touka.

Her eyes bug.

"Are you okay?" asks Yoriko, wringing her hands.

"No, I'm—it's—I mean, yes." Touka grabs the cupcake. "It's good—these are—cake is  _amazing!"_

"Donuts," moans Amon, practically in tears. Akira pats his head.

"So this is cheesecake," whispers Tsukiyama. " _Trés bien! Magnifique!_  Have you ever tasted something so—"

"It's so cold!" Karren gasps as she digs her spoon through her ice cream.

"Wow," mumbles Ayato, eating more of Yoriko's chicken. "Hinami—"

"Try a donut," she encourages him, tearing one in half. She moans. "These are—"

"Careful not to eat yourself sick!" warns Kimi.

"Too late with this one," teases Karren, arm around her husband. Chie's camera clicks away.

"You are a good chef after all," Takizawa confirms, munching one of Kurona's cupcakes. "And I can finally assure you of that for real."

Kurona gulps a cup of coffee with cream. She kisses him quickly.

"I'm happy for you, Seidou," Seina says softly.

"Provided you don't get sick," Yomo says as Kaneki feeds Touka some of the hamburger steak. "Maybe we should try the medication after all, Uta."

"Maybe so," Uta says, watching everyone in surprise. Itori nods as if impressed.

Yoriko squeals, clapping her hands together. "I'm so happy you  _actually like it!"_ Takeomi beams at his wife.

"We love it!" shrieks Naki, thrusting his hand in the air. He dumps the rest of his plate over Miza, who yelps. "Oops!"

"I think we can get it to work for kids too," Kimi says. "Banjou and I have been playing around with dosages—"

"This is incredible," whispers Ui. Hairu offers them all pieces of a melon bun. Touka snatches it, cramming them into her mouth.

"Be careful if that happens," warns Tooru. "You might have to deal with this." He nods at Masanori, Seidou, Isamu, and Chiasa, who are all shrieking and jumping up and down, chocolate cupcakes smeared over their cheeks. "It's called a sugar high."

"And it results in tears," Urie remarks, watching with a pained expression. "Inevitably."

"Within a year," muses Juuzou as he piles a bowl of ice cream for himself and sticks a spoon in his mouth. "We might be able to advertise these treatments to all ghouls."

Kimi nods as Nishiki eats a croissant.

"I never thought I'd be able to eat this," Touka whispers.

 _And we're still young_ , Kaneki thinks as he watches Yuki chase Rose and Ryouko around.

_What else can happen?_

_The possibilities seem endless._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, all wrapped up nice with a bow and a cheesecake. Thanks again to everyone for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Again, thanks for reading! This fic is also completed, and will be updated on days when I am not updating my other TG fic (so, three times a week.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Toward a Brighter Tomorrow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11622543) by [LadyOfTheOldWorld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOfTheOldWorld/pseuds/LadyOfTheOldWorld)




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